You Can Win Part 14

Monkey-hunters use a box with an opening at the top, big enough for the monkey to slide its hand in. Inside the box are nuts. The monkey grabs the nuts and now its hand becomes a fist. The monkey tries to get its hand out but the opening is big enough for the hand to slide in, but too small for the fist to come out. Now the monkey has a choice, either to let go off the nuts and be free forever or hang on to the nuts and get caught.

Guess what it picks every time? You guessed it. He hangs on to the nuts and gets caught.

We are no different from monkeys. We all hang on to some nuts that keep us from going forward in life. We keep rationalizing by saying, "I cannot do this because . . ." and whatever comes after "because" are the nuts that we are hanging on to which are holding us back.

Successful people don't rationalize. Two things determine if a person will be a success: reasons and results. Reasons don't count while results do. A good advice for failure is: Don't think, don't ask and don't listen. Just rationalize.

11. Not Learning from Past Mistakes

People who do not learn lessons from history are doomed. Failure is a teacher if we have the right att.i.tude. Failure is a detour, not a dead end. It is a delay, not a defeat.

Experience is the name we give to our mistakes.

Some people live and learn, and some only live. Wise people learn from their mistakes wiser people learn from other people's mistakes. Our lives are not long enough to learn only from our own mistakes.

57*12. Inability to Recognize Opportunity

Opportunities come disguised as obstacles. That is why most people don't recognize them. Remember that the bigger the obstacle, the bigger is the opportunity.

13. Fear

Fear can be real or imaginary. It makes people do strange things and primarily comes because of a lack of understanding. To live in fear is like being in an emotional prison.

Fear results in insecurity, lack of confidence, procrastination. Fear destroys our potential and ability. We cannot think straight. It ruins relations.h.i.+ps and health.

Some of the common fears are:

fear of failing fear of the unknown fear of being unprepared fear of making the wrong decision fear of rejection

Some fears can be described, others felt. Fear leads to anxiety, which in turn leads to irrational thinking, which actually sabotages our solution to the problem. The normal response to fear is escape. Escape puts us in our comfort zone and reduces the impact temporarily, while keeping the cause. Imaginary fear magnifies the problem. Fear can get out of hand and destroy happiness and relations.h.i.+ps.

Fear of failure often can be worse than failure itself. Failure is not the worst thing that could happen to someone. People who don't try have failed before attempting. When infants learn to walk, they keep falling; but to them it is not failing so they get up. If they got disheartened, they would never walk. It is better to die on one's feet than to live with fear on one's knees.

14. Inability to Use Talent

Albert Einstein said, "I think I used about 25% of my intellectual capacity during my life."

According to William James, human beings use only 10-12% of their potential.

The saddest part of most people's lives is that they die with the music still in them. They haven't lived while alive. They rust out rather than wear out. I would rather wear out than rust out. The saddest words in life are "I should have".

Rusting out is not to be confused with patience. Rusting out is idleness and pa.s.sivity.

Patience is a conscious decision, it is active and involves perseverance and persistence.

Someone asked an elderly person, "What is life's heaviest burden?" The elderly person replied sadly, "To have nothing to carry."

15. Lack of Discipline Have you ever wondered why some people never reach their goals? Why they are always frustrated with reversals and crises? Why is it some people have continued success, while others have endless failures? Anyone who has accomplished anything worthwhile has never done so without discipline, whether in sports, athletics, academia or business.

58*People without discipline try to do everything, but commit themselves to nothing. Some so-called liberal thinkers have interpreted lack of discipline as freedom. When I am in an aircraft I want a pilot who is disciplined and does what he is supposed to do and not what he feels like doing. I don't want him to have the philosophy, "I'm free. I don't want anyone from the * William James, MDRT Timeless Treasure, The Whole Person, p. 162.

control tower telling me what to do."

Lack of consistency is poor discipline. Discipline takes self-control, sacrifice, and avoiding distractions and temptations. It means staying focused. Steam does not move the engine unless it is confined. Niagara Falls would not generate power unless it were harnessed.

We all know the story of the tortoise and the hare. The hare used to brag about his speed and challenged the tortoise to a race. The tortoise accepted the challenge. They appointed the fox as the judge who gave them the starting and finis.h.i.+ng points. The race started and the tortoise kept going steadily. The hare ran quickly, left the tortoise behind and decided to take a nap since he was so confident he would win the race. By the time he woke up, remembered the race and started running, he saw that the tortoise had already reached the finish line and won.

Consistency takes discipline and is more important than erratic effort.

Discipline and regret are both painful. Most people have a choice between the two.

Guess which is more painful.

Generally children brought up with excessive freedom and a lack of discipline grow up not respecting themselves, their parents or society, and have a hard time accepting responsibility.

16. Poor self-esteem

Poor self-esteem is a lack of self-respect and self-worth. It leads to abuse of one's self and others. Ego takes the driver's seat. Decisions are taken more to satisfy the ego than to accomplish anything worthwhile. People with low self-esteem are constantly looking for ident.i.ty. They are trying to find themselves. One's self is not to be found but to be created.

Idleness and laziness are consequences of poor self esteem and so is making excuses.

Idleness is like rust that eats into the most brilliant metal.

17. Lack of Knowledge

The first step towards knowledge is awareness of areas of ignorance. The more knowledge a person gets, the more he realizes what areas he is ignorant in. A person who thinks he knows everything has the most to learn.

Ignorant people don't know they are ignorant. They don't know that they don't know. In fact more than ignorance, the bigger problem is the illusion of knowledge, which can mislead a person.

18. Fatalistic Att.i.tude

A fatalistic att.i.tude prevents people from accepting responsibility for their position in life.

They attribute success and failure to luck. They resign themselves to their fate. They believe and accept the predestined future written in their horoscope or stars, that regardless of their effort whatever has to happen will happen. Hence they never put in 59*any effort and complacency becomes a way of life. They wait for things to happen rather than make them happen. Success is a matter of luck, ask any failure.

Weak-minded people fall easy prey to fortune-tellers, horoscopes and self-proclaimed G.o.d's men who are sometimes conmen. They become superst.i.tious and ritualistic.

Shallow people believe in luck. People with strength and determination believe in cause and effect. Some people consider a rabbit's foot lucky; but it wasn't lucky for the rabbit, was it?

60*Some People Think They are Just Unlucky

This breeds a fatalistic att.i.tude. People who get involved halfheartedly say things like:

"I will give it a try"; "I will see if it works"; "I will give it a shot"; "I have nothing to lose"; "I haven't put much into it anyway."

These people guarantee failure because they get into a project with no dedication or determination. They lack courage, commitment and confidence. They are starting with complacence and call themselves unlucky.

A man bought a racehorse and put him in a barn with a big sign, "The fastest horse in the world." The owner didn't exercise the horse nor train it to keep it in good shape. He entered the horse in a race and it came last. The owner quickly changed the sign to "The fastest world for the horse." By inaction or not doing what should be done, people fail and they blame luck.

Effort Does it

Life without vision, courage and depth is simply a blind experience. Small, lazy, and weak minds always take the easiest way, the path of least resistance.

Athletes train 15 years for 15 seconds of performance. Ask them if they got lucky. Ask an athlete how he feels after a good workout. He will tell you that he feels spent. If he doesn't feel that way, it means he hasn't worked out to his maximum ability.

Losers think life is unfair. They think only of their bad breaks. They don't consider that the person who is prepared and playing well still got the same bad breaks but overcame them. That is the difference. His threshold for tolerating pain becomes higher because in the end he is not training so much for the game but for his character.

LUCK FAVORS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.

A flood was threatening a small town and everyone was leaving for safety except one man who said, "G.o.d will save me. I have faith." As the water level rose a jeep came to rescue him, the man refused, saying "G.o.d will save me. I have faith." As the water level rose further, he went up to the second storey, and a boat came to help him. Again he refused to go, Belying, "G.o.d will save me. I have faith." The water kept rising and the man climbed on to the roof. A helicopter came to rescue him, but he said, "G.o.d will save me. I have faith." Well, finally he drowned. When he reached his Maker he angrily questioned, "I had complete faith in you. Why did you ignore my prayers and let me drown?" The Lord replied, "Who do you think sent you the jeep, the boat, and the helicopter?"

The only way to overcome the fatalistic att.i.tude is to accept responsibility and believe in the law of cause and effect rather than luck. It takes action, preparation and planning rather than waiting, wondering or wis.h.i.+ng, to accomplish anything in life.

61*

Luck s.h.i.+nes on the Deserving