Mr. World and Miss Church-Member Part 24

"Not in the least," he replied, "for at such places as this I gain more subjects than I lose. So I expect to encourage forever sacred-merchandising all along my route. The churches are glad to use this ground even though it belongs to me, for I concede to them all the money. Naturally I prefer souls to money."

"How did this word 'festival' originate?" queried Mr. World after a brief pause in the conversation.

"With pleasure I will explain. Once upon a time I called together my generals to determine upon new methods of winning converts to our cause, and promised to confer upon the one who should suggest the best plan, the honorable t.i.tle 'Fast Devil.'

"A long intermission was granted to give my aids time to use their ingenuity in planning. All h.e.l.l was filled with students, each one striving to win the t.i.tle.

"At a given signal my cohorts re-a.s.sembled. Thus before me lay a vast army of anxious faces. I gave each one, who desired, an opportunity to speak. The sun revolved on his axis seven times ere the argument was finished. During this debate there was comparative peace on earth."

"Pray tell me," further asked Mr. World, "What was the trend of their suggestions?"

"I could relate it all, for I have every word recorded, but I shall not weary you."

"But at least give me a general idea."

"Willingly. One of my generals arose and said: 'We can change some of our tactics without loss to our cause. The sword and torture only strengthen our enemies. We should resort more to the 'wolf- in-sheep's-clothing method.'

"He could speak no more. A thundering sound of voices drowned his utterances. Thousands of my loyal leaders seconded his plans.

"At last one of the speakers, who indeed won the prize, earnestly proposed a grand scheme, and the vast mult.i.tudes listened with rapt attention. His speech was short but fiery, and, rising to the occasion, he demanded that all his comrades should unite to destroy the simple voluntary spirit of Christian benevolence so that the church might go begging before the world and even resort to all manner of mercantile business for its support. The speaker declared that if the church could be induced to adopt such measures it would tend to divert her mind from interfering with the work to which he and his auditors were all loyally pledged.

"This speech had a marvelous effect, and there was a deafening roar of voices in the applause which continued for a long s.p.a.ce of time.

"Then followed an animated discussion in which a host of trusted leaders engaged. Each one commented on the winning speech and offered suggestions how to awaken a trading interest in the church. It was conceded that first of all the church must feel the necessity of resorting to business. Accordingly a large committee was appointed to work systematically amongst the churches on earth, inducing their members to depart from the customs of the early church.

"This committee did yeoman service and shrewdly prepared the way for the more complete work in harmony with the views of Fast Devil. Through the ages it succeeded in gradually influencing the church to engage in all manner of performances and trading schemes to gain support. The work of this committee is not yet at an end, for nearly every week we hear of some innovation which has crept into the church, or some new form of merchandising into which it has fortunately entered.

"It is indeed gratifying that the church is casting off her unsightly spiritual robe and putting on the costume of merriment and trade. I hope the day will soon come when the church will have still less of the spiritual nonsense and more of these up-to-date methods to secure funds for its support."

As Satan spoke his last words he bid a brief adieu to Mr. World and hastened away to the side of a young man who was almost persuaded to yield to some elevating influence. I suddenly looked at Blackana whose presence I had well-nigh forgotten.

"Have you been taking your ease in sleep?" I asked as an involuntary shudder shook my frame.

"I never sleep. Suns may wax and wane, nations rise and fall, peoples live and die, but I am awake forever."

"Did you hear the conversation between Satan and Mr. World?"

"Every word of it."

"Were you present when Satan held that great convocation to devise plans for more efficient work against the church of Jesus Christ on earth?"

"I attended every session."

"And did you hear the speech of Fast Devil?"

"I heard every word."

"And did Satan give to Mr. World a true account of the address?"

"He gave only a condensed and garbled rendering of it."

"Then I command you, O Blackana, to give me a full reproduction of Fast Devil's speech as far as you are able to translate the language of h.e.l.l into words that are intelligible to me. Can you remember each thought?"

"I must remember, for I have not the power to forget," and Blackana groaned aloud. "Oh, that I could bury in oblivion the myriad thoughts that sting me with remorse!" He paused a moment. "Am I to give you the whole--speech as Fast Devil delivered it originally?"

"Thought for thought, and gesture for gesture," I answered with authority.

Ere the last syllable fell from my lips Blackana was suddenly transformed into a more terrifying creature than he was himself. I was paralyzed at the sight of the weird monster which I learned was the image of Fast Devil.

There he stood, tall and erect, seven times the height of man, with sinews like iron-rope and with a face defying human description. His eyes were fiery with life, and determination marked every movement as he stepped forward to speak.

Notwithstanding my consciousness of being sustained by supernatural power, I trembled as Blackana reproduced this noted speech of Fast Devil:

"Most honored chief and glorious master," he commenced, "be thou indulgent as I speak to thee and unto these my comrades who lie in anxious posture over this vast expanse of h.e.l.l. I am here to state an issue of which we have heard murmurings for many an age. To prepare for this hour I have taxed my ingenuity to its utmost."

Then with striking gestures of his awful arms he pa.s.sionately continued: "Hope is no more crushed within me as I view the wide and measureless field of our possibilities, for I see empires within our reach if we but cease brooding over our dismal past and let this bright prospect kindle its flames within us. What spur need we to move us on but to look up and see the resplendent regions whence we fell, till hatred starts afresh within our beings and our every pa.s.sion moves to its control."

With an outward swing of his great right arm he asked in strong appealing tones: "How can we best succeed against the church in which our enemy glories so unceasingly? What inroads can we make? In what manner shall we advance?"

He vigorously seized a book. "Here is a Bible, borrowed from a saint.

I turned its pages over and over that I might learn what pained the heart of Christ most grievously, vexing his inmost soul with indignation. What was it?" vociferously interrogated Fast Devil as he flung the book to the scorching winds of h.e.l.l. "'Twas that which hindered the cause of Christ most efficiently--_prost.i.tuting the house of G.o.d to worldly purposes_. Have we forgotten the vehemence with which this arch-enemy drove the money kings from His sacred abode, saying unto them: 'My house is a house of prayer, but ye have made it a den of thieves,' and how we like sneaking cowards crawled away, and thus our glorious scheme went by default?"

Then Blackana uttered his final appeal with all the swing of his mighty body and the low vibrant thunder of his voice. "Back to your forts!

Oh, back! ye dormant hosts around me! Not in the strength of arms, but with the subtlest webs that h.e.l.l can weave, and with the snares of silent treachery. We need no stronger weapons, and for our dress we will don sheep's clothing of the finest wool. Thus who amongst the church can tell that we are not seeking her highest good? _Then as we strike at the heart of voluntary offering in the church, so shall we kill the spirit that gives it birth. The carca.s.s of this dead spirit unburied we shall drag through the church for ages, and the germs of disease arising therefrom will bring more death into the ranks of our foes than all our weapons of warfare ever did."_

Blackana instantly resumed his former shape, and "while I was musing the fire burned." I then looked out toward the festival ground and saw that Satan had returned to Mr. World and was explaining to him how helpful these festivals were to Christians.

"Aside from the moral and religious influence," he remarked, "how could the church defray her expenses if she did not engage in some innocent forms of merchandising, or use some novel scheme to decoy money from her admirers. Surely there can be no better way," continued the Devil with an unholy grin. "If the church would maintain her honor before the world, she must not do differently. I _am satisfied if wily thee old way of voluntary giving is more and more discarded by the church."_

"But you began your former recital," reminded Mr. World, "to inform me how the word 'Festival' originated. You have not yet succeeded in making it clear to me."

"It originated from the phrase of honor which was given the prize- winner, Fast Devil, but we changed the wording somewhat so that it might not seem obnoxious to the church."

Then, by a peculiar method of concrete marking, Satan continued: "The following is the process of development from the phrase to the word: 'Fast Devil;' '_Fest Evil_;' 'FESTIVAL.'"

CHAPTER XIX.

THE MISSIONARY COLLEGE.

1. Mr. World and Miss Church-Member visit the great college and are strongly influenced in favor of Satan's teachings concerning missionary work.

The fellows.h.i.+p of Mr. World and Miss Church-Member grew increasingly delightful as they journeyed forth from the Festival. In their company were a few church-members who had also enjoyed the physical pleasures of the Festival and who preferred to reach Heaven by the most convenient path.

The merry band of companions soon reached a certain Missionary Station which was controlled by pilgrims from the King's Highway. The travelers were all very much amused at seeing tracts and other pieces of literature scattered over the Highway in front of the station.