Poetical Ingenuities and Eccentricities Part 9

Sed, smiling on the new tapis, Between puellas twain, Coepit to tell his flame to Kate Dans un poetique strain.

Mais, glancing ever and anon At fair Amanda's eyes, Illae non possunt dicere, Pro which he meant his sighs.

Each virgo heard the demi vow With cheeks as rouge as wine, And offering each a milk-white hand, Both whispered, 'Ich bin dein!'"

CONTENTI ABEAMUS.

"Come, jocund friends, a bottle bring, And push around the jorum; We'll talk and laugh, and quaff and sing, Nunc suavium amorum.

While we are in a merry mood, Come, sit down ad bibendum; And if dull care should dare intrude, We'll to the devil send him.

A moping elf I can't endure While I have ready rhino; And all life's pleasures centre still In venere ac vino.

Be merry then, my friends, I pray, And pa.s.s your time in joco, For it is pleasant, as they say, Desipere in loco.

He that loves not a young la.s.s, Is sure an arrant stultus, And he that will not take a gla.s.s Deserves to be sepultus.

Pleasure, music, love and wine, Res valde sunt jocundae, And pretty maidens look divine, Provided ut sunt mundae.

I hate a snarling, surly fool, Qui latrat sicut canis, Who mopes and ever eats by rule, Drinks water and eats panis.

Give me the man that's always free, Qui finit molli more, The cares of life, whate'er they be, Whose motto still is 'Spero.'

Death will turn us soon from hence, Nigerrimas ad sedes; And all our lands and all our pence Ditabunt tunc heredes.

Why should we then forbear to sport?

Dum vivamus, vivamus, And when the Fates shall cut us down, Contenti abeamus."

DE LEGULEIO.

"Jurisconsultus juvenis solus, Sat scanning his tenuem docket-- Volo, quoth he, some bonus aeolus Inspiret fees to my pocket.

He seized in manua sinistra ejus A tome of Noy, or Fortescue; Here's a case, said he, terrible tedious-- Fortuna veni to my rescue!

Lex scripta's nought but legal diluvium, Defluxum streams of past ages, And lawyers sit like ducks in a pluvium, Under Law's reigning adages.

Lex non scripta's good for consciences tender, Persequi the light internal; Sed homines saepius homage render Ad lucem that burns infernal.

Effodi the said diluvium over, As do all legal beginners, Et crede vivere hence in clover, That's sown by quarrelsome sinners.

Some think the law esse hum scarabeum, And lawyers a useless evil, And Statute claim of tuum and meum Is but a device of the devil;

Sed pravi homines sunt so thick that, Without restrictio legis, Esset crime plusquam one could shake stick at, By order diaboli regis.

Et good men, rari gurgite vasto, Are digni the law's a.s.sistance, Defendere se, et aid them so as to Keep nefas et vim at a distance.

The lawyer's his client's rights' defender, And bound laborare astute, Videre that quaequae res agenda Dignitate et virtute.

Sed ecce! a case exactly ad punctum-- Id scribam, ante forget it, Negotium illud nunc perfunctum, Feliciter, I have met it.

He thrust out dextrae digitos ma.n.u.s, His pennam ad ink ille dedit; Et scripsit,--but any h.o.m.o sa.n.u.s Would be nonsuit ere he could read it."

--_A. B. Ely._

CHANSON WITHOUT MUSIC.

BY THE PROFESSOR EMERITUS OF DEAD AND LIVING LANGUAGES.

"You bid me sing--can I forget The cla.s.sic odes of days gone by-- How belle Fifine and jeune Lisette Exclaimed, 'Anacreon [Greek: geron ei]?'

'Regardez donc,' those ladies said-- 'You're getting bald and wrinkled too: When Summer's roses are all shed, Love's nullum ite, voyez vous!'

In vain ce brave Anacreon's cry, 'Of love alone my banjo sings'

([Greek: Erota mounon]). 'Etiam si,-- Eh bien?' replied those saucy things-- 'Go find a maid whose hair is grey, And strike your lyre--we shan't complain; But parce n.o.bis, s'il vous plait,-- Voila Adolphe! Voila Eugene!'

Ah, jeune Lisette! ah, belle Fifine!

Anacreon's lesson all must learn: [Greek: Ho kairos Oxus]; Spring is green, But acer Hiems waits his turn!

I hear you whispering from the dust, 'Tiens, mon cher, c'est toujours so,-- The brightest blade grows dim with rust, The fairest meadow white with snow!'

You do not mean it? Not encore?

Another string of play-day rhymes?

You've heard me--nonne est?--before, Multoties,--more than twenty times; Non possum--vraiment--pas du tout, I cannot, I am loath to s.h.i.+rk; But who will listen if I do, My memory makes such shocking work?

[Greek: Gignosko]. Scio. Yes, I'm told Some ancients like my rusty lay, As Grandpa Noah loved the old Red-sandstone march of Jubal's day.

I used to carol like the birds, But time my wits have quite unfixed, Et quoad verba--for my words-- Ciel!--Eheu!--Whe-ew! how they're mixed!

Mehercle! [Greek: Zeu]. Diable! how My thoughts were dressed when I was young.

But tempus fugit--see them now Half clad in rags of every tongue!

[Greek: O Philoi], fratres, chers amis!

I dare not court the youthful muse, For fear her sharp response should be-- 'Papa Anacreon, please excuse!'

Adieu! I've trod my annual track How long!--let others count the miles-- And peddled out my rhyming pack To friends who always paid in smiles; So laissez moi! some youthful wit No doubt has wares he wants to show, And I am asking 'let me sit'

Dum ille clamat "[Greek: Dos pou sto]."

--_Dr. Holmes, Atlantic Monthly, Nov. 1867._

During the late American Civil War, Slidell and Mason, two of the Confederate Commissioners, were taken by an admiral of the U.S. navy from a British s.h.i.+p, and this came near causing an issue between the two countries. Seward was the American premier at the time. This is that affair done up in a macaronic:

SLIDELL AND MASON.

"Slidell, qui est Rerum cantor Publicarum, atque Lincoln.

Vir excelsior, mitigantur-- A delightful thing to think on!

Blatant plebs Americanum, Quite impossible to bridle, Nihil refert, navis cana Bring back Mason atque Slidell.

Scribat nunc amoene Russell; Laetus lapis claudit fisc.u.m, Nunc finiter all this bustle-- Slidell--Mason--Pax vobisc.u.m!"

A VALENTINE.

"Geist und sinn mich beutzen uber Vous zu dire das ich sie liebe?

Das herz que vous so lightly spurn To you und sie allein will turn Unbarmherzig--pourquoir scorn Mon coeur with love and anguish torn; Croyez vous das my despair Votre bonheur can swell or faire?