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LETTER 111.
To Miss Montague.
Monday.
The inclosed, my dear, is as much to you as to me, perhaps more; I pardon the lady for thinking you the handsomest. Is not this the strongest proof I could give of my friends.h.i.+p? perhaps I should have been piqued, however, had the preference been given by a man; but I can with great tranquillity allow you to be the women's beauty.
Dictate an answer to your little Bell, who waits your commands at her bureau.
Adieu!
"To Miss Fermor, at Silleri.
Monday.
"You and your lovely friend obliged me beyond words, my dear Bell, by your visit of yesterday: Madame Des Roches is charmed with you both: you will not be displeased when I tell you she gives Emily the preference; she says she is beautiful as an angel; that she should think the man insensible, who could see her without love; that she is _touchant_, to use her own word, beyond any thing she ever beheld.
"She however does justice to your charms, though Emily's seem to affect her most. She even allows you to be perhaps more the taste of men in general.
"She intends paying her respects to you and Emily this afternoon; and has sent to desire me to conduct her. As it is so far, I would wish to find you at home.
"Yours, Ed. Rivers."
LETTER 112.
To Miss Fermor.
Always Madame Des Roches! but let her come: indeed, my dear, she is artful; she gains upon him by this appearance of generosity; I cannot return it, I do not love her; yet I will receive her with politeness.
He is to drive her too; but 'tis no matter; if the tenderest affection can secure his heart, I have nothing to fear: loving him as I do, it is impossible not to be apprehensive: indeed, my dear, he knows not how I love him.
Adieu!
Your Emily.
LETTER 113.
To Miss Fermor.
Monday evening.
Surely I am the weakest of my weak s.e.x; I am ashamed to tell you all my feelings: I cannot conquer my dislike to Madame Des Roches: she said a thousand obliging things to me, she praised my Rivers; I made her no answer, I even felt tears ready to start; what must she think of me? there is a meanness in my jealousy of her, which I cannot forgive myself.
I cannot account for her attention to me, it is not natural; she behaved to me not only with politeness, but with the appearance of affection; she seemed to feel and pity my confusion. She is either the most artful, or the most n.o.ble of women.
Adieu!
Your Emily.
LETTER 114.
To Mrs. Temple, Pall Mall.
Silleri, March 29.
We are going to dine at a farm house in the country, where we are to meet other company, and have a ball: the snow begins a little to soften, from the warmth of the sun, which is greater than in England in May. Our winter parties are almost at an end.
My father drives Madame Des Roches, who is of our party, and your brother Emily; I hope the little fool will be easy now, Lucy; she is very humble, to be jealous of one, who, though really very pleasing, is neither so young nor so handsome as herself; and who professes to wish only for Rivers's friends.h.i.+p.
But I have no right to say a word on this subject, after having been so extremely hurt at Fitzgerald's attention to such a woman as Madame La Brosse; an attention too which was so plainly meant to pique me.
We are all, I am afraid, a little absurd in these affairs, and therefore ought to have some degree of indulgence for others.
Emily and I, however, differ in our ideas of love: it is the business of her life, the amus.e.m.e.nt of mine; 'tis the food of her hours, the seasoning of mine.
Or, in other words, she loves like a foolish woman, I like a sensible man: for men, you know, compared to women, love in about the proportion of one to twenty.
'Tis a mighty wrong thing, after all, Lucy, that parents will educate creatures so differently, who are to live with and for each other.
Every possible means is used, even from infancy, to soften the minds of women, and to harden those of men; the contrary endeavor might be of use, for the men creatures are unfeeling enough by nature, and we are born too tremblingly alive to love, and indeed to every soft affection.
Your brother is almost the only one of his s.e.x I know, who has the tenderness of woman with the spirit and firmness of man: a circ.u.mstance which strikes every woman who converses with him, and which contributes to make him the favorite he is amongst us. Foolish women who cannot distinguish characters may possibly give the preference to a c.o.xcomb; but I will venture to say, no woman of sense was ever much acquainted with Colonel Rivers without feeling for him an affection of some kind or other.
_A propos_ to women, the estimable part of us are divided into two cla.s.ses only, the tender and the lively.
The former, at the head of which I place Emily, are infinitely more capable of happiness; but, to counterbalance this advantage, they are also capable of misery in the same degree. We of the other cla.s.s, who feel less keenly, are perhaps upon the whole as happy, at least I would fain think so.
For example, if Emily and I marry our present lovers, she will certainly be more exquisitely happy than I shall; but if they should change their minds, or any accident prevent our coming together, I am inclined to fancy my situation would be much the most agreable.
I should pout a month, and then look about for another lover; whilst the tender Emily would
"Sit like patience on a monument,"
and pine herself into a consumption.
Adieu! They wait for me.
Yours, A. Fermor.
Tuesday, midnight.