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"Then you told her your love?" asked the elder; while the younger looked up with a smile: "I sat by her side half an hour--what else was I doing the while?
"What, sit by the side of a woman as fair as the sun in the sky, And look somewhere else lest the dazzle flash back from your own to her eye?
"No, I hold that the speech of the tongue be as frank and as bold as the look, And I held up myself to herself--that was more than she got from her book."
"Young blood!" laughed the elder; "no doubt you are voicing the mode of to-day: But then we old fogies at least gave the lady some chance for delay.
"There's my wife--(you must know)--we first met on the journey from Florence to Rome; It took me three weeks to discover who was she, and where was her home;
"Three more to be duly presented; three more ere I saw her again; And a year ere my romance _began_ where yours ended that day on the train."
"Oh, that was the style of the stage-coach; we travel to-day by express; Forty miles to the hour," he answered, "won't admit of a pa.s.sion that's less."
"But what if you make a mistake?" quoth the elder. The younger half sighed.
"What happens when signals are wrong or switches misplaced?" he replied.
"Very well, I must bow to your wisdom," the elder returned, "but submit Your chances of winning this woman your boldness has bettered no whit.
"Why, you do not at best know her name. And what if I try your ideal With something, if not quite so fair, at least more _en regle_ and real?
"Let me find you a partner. Nay, come, I insist--you shall follow--this way.
My dear, will you not add your grace to entreat Mr. Rapid to stay?
"My wife, Mr. Rapid--Eh, what? Why, he's gone--yet he said he would come.
How rude! I don't wonder, my dear, you are properly crimson and dumb?"
HE WORRIED ABOUT IT.
BY S. W. FOSS.
"The Sun will give out in ten million years more; It will sure give out then, if it doesn't before."
And he worried about it; It would surely give out, so the scientists said And they proved it in many a book he had read, And the whole mighty universe then would be dead.
And he worried about it.
"Or some day the earth will fall into the sun, Just as sure and as straight, as if shot from a gun."
And he worried about it.
"For when gravitation unbuckles her straps, Just picture," he said, "what a fearful collapse!
It will come in a few million ages, perhaps."
And he worried about it.
"The earth will become far too small for the race, And we'll pay at a fabulous rate for our s.p.a.ce."
And he worried about it.
"The earth will be crowded so much without doubt, There will hardly be room for one's tongue to stick out, Nor room for one's thoughts when they'd wander about."
And he worried about it.
"And in ten thousand years, there's no manner of doubt, Our lumber supply and our coal will give out."
And he worried about it: "And then the Ice Age will return cold and raw, Frozen men will stand stiff with arms stretched out in awe, As if vainly beseeching a general thaw."
And he worried about it.
His wife took in was.h.i.+ng (two s.h.i.+llings a day).
He didn't worry about it.
His daughter sewed s.h.i.+rts, the rude grocer to pay.
He didn't worry about it.
While his wife beat her tireless rub-a-dub-dub On the washboard drum in her old wooden tub, He sat by the fire and he just let her rub.
He didn't worry about it,
ASTRONOMY MADE EASY.
I saw and heard him as I was going home the other evening. A big telescope was pointed heavenward from the public square, and he stood beside it and thoughtfully inquired,--
"Is it possible, gentlemen, that you do not care to view the beautiful works of nature above the earth? Can it be true that men of your intellectual appearance will sordidly cling to ten cents, rather than take a look through this telescope and bring the beauties of heaven within one and a half miles of your eyes?"
The appeal was too much for one young man to resist. He was a tall young man, with a long face, high cheek bones, and an anxious look.
He looked at the ten cents and then at the telescope, hesitated for a single moment, and then took his seat on the stool.
"Here is a young man who prefers to feast his soul with scientific knowledge rather than become a sordid, grasping, avaricious capitalist," remarked the astronomer, as he arranged the instrument.
"Fall back, you people who prefer the paltry sum of ten cents to a view of the starry heavens, and give this n.o.ble young man plenty of room!"
The n.o.ble young man removed his hat, placed his eye to the instrument, a cloth was thrown over his head, and the astronomer continued:--
"Behold the bright star of Venus! A sight of this star is worth a thousand dollars to any man who prefers education to money." There was an instant of deep silence, and then the young man exclaimed:--
"I say!"
I stood behind him, and knew that the telescope pointed at the fifth storey of a building across the square, where a dance was in progress.
"All people indulge in exclamations of admiration as they view the beauties and mysteries of nature," remarked the astronomer. "Young man, tell the crowd what you see."
"I see a feller hugging a girl!" was the prompt reply. "And if there isn't a dozen of them!"
"And yet," continued the astronomer, "there are sordid wretches in this crowd who hang to ten cents in preference to observing such sights as these in ethereal s.p.a.ce. Venus is millions of miles away, and yet by means of this telescope and by paying ten cents this intellectual young man is enabled to observe the inhabitants of that far-off world hugging each other just as natural as they do in this!"
The instrument was wheeled around to bear on the tower of the engine-house some distance away, and the astronomer, continued:--
"Behold the beauties and the wonders of Saturn! This star, to the naked eye, appears no larger than a pin's point, and yet for the paltry sum of ten cents this n.o.ble young man is placed within one mile of it!"
"Well, this beats all!" murmured the young man, as he slapped his leg.
"Tell me what you see, my friend."