The Renewal of Life; How and When to Tell the Story to the Young Part 7

The question is often asked, whether country children are not much more likely to learn these truths naturally and without instruction than city children. The answer is that they are more likely to learn the facts, but knowing the facts is by no means understanding the subject; and whether knowledge of the facts is good or bad for the child depends entirely upon the impression it makes upon him. Undoubtedly the country child is in a better position to receive instruction, but whether this instruction tends to refine his feelings and elevate his heart depends altogether upon how it is given. Probably the average country boy has no more spiritual conception of the matter than the average city boy, though he may have a more wholesome and, so to speak, utilitarian thought of it. His interest at least reaches out to results, for the successful multiplication of the stock on the farm may be a matter of vital importance to him.

The extension of knowledge from the bird to the mammal may be made through the medium of the family pets. Fido, puss, the pet rabbits, or squirrels may serve to elucidate the subject. Indeed, at this stage the well-instructed child himself will be ready to give all the essential facts, and will feel free to ask questions concerning the facts he does not understand. If he has traced the continuity of the egg from the flower to the bird it will not be difficult for him to realize that even the higher animal has its origin in the same way. The mother can very reverently explain to him that the cat too has ovaries; that from these develop ova which are few in number and need very special care. They cannot be laid in a nest like the bird's egg. They are very tiny, no larger than the head of a small pin, and they have no hard sh.e.l.l.

It is their destiny to remain in the oviduct and develop. That is, instead of being born like the bird's egg and then being hatched, these eggs first develop and afterwards are born. But if not fertilized they would not continue to develop. The cat has two ovaries, which develop at maturity and ripen the ova, and these pa.s.s into the oviducts, which are tubes like the oviducts of the bird. Here the egg remains a certain length of time, and then if it is not fertilized it is pa.s.sed away; but if it is fertilized a marvellous change takes place in this tiny cell: it remains within the oviduct and is there supplied with nourishment by blood-vessels essentially as the flower seed is supplied with food from the sap. Generally three or five of these ova develop at the same time, some in one oviduct, some in the other. When these tiny eggs have developed into kittens strong enough and perfect enough to make entrance into the world safe, they are born just as the egg is born.

Unlike the oviduct of the bird, which opens into the intestine, these ducts unite just before the end, and have separate openings of their own.

As soon as the young are born the mother begins to care for them. For several weeks they depend upon the milk she secretes for their food, and upon her constant care and loving watchfulness for their life. The thought of parental love and care should be much more strongly emphasized at every step than the mere physical facts, though it is necessary that they too be clearly comprehended. The sacrifice of the parent for the child is one of the most universal and unselfish facts of life, and many stories ill.u.s.trating it can be collected and told. It is not necessary to tell them as obviously pointing a moral, yet they should be told as dramatically and interestingly as possible, that the child may get a strong impression of this great force. Among mammals it is true, (but this need not be dwelt upon with the child,) that many males pay no attention to their offspring; though some, as the cattle, defend the females and young if a herd is attacked by savage animals, by putting them in the centre and themselves forming a circle about them.

It is the mother love and care, however, which are here most prominent; but the child who knows the facts concerning paternity should not be allowed to forget the great factor of inheritance, and that the offspring gets its characteristics from the father as well as from the mother.

There is only one more step to be taken in the _modus operandi_ of reproduction, and that is in the higher mammal, where the ovum pa.s.ses down through a slender oviduct into an enlarged chamber or womb, where it remains a certain length of time, finally if unfertilized, to pa.s.s away unnoticed; if fertilized, to develop into a young animal which in time will be born helpless and dependent upon the love and care of the mother. In some of the higher mammals, as the sheep and the goat, there are generally two ova developed in the womb at the same time; that is, twins are born. In the larger ones, as the horse and the cow, but one ovum generally develops, though the development of two is not uncommon.

As a result of these teachings, which are not formal like school work, but given as opportunity offers and in as interesting and outreaching a way as possible, the child learns that all life develops in the same way. That all life, even human, starts as a tiny ovum. That these tiny ova are produced in every female by a special tissue called the ovary, which develops at maturity when the eggs begin to ripen; that if the ova are not fertilized they do not develop; if they are fertilized they develop into an individual like the parent, though having personal peculiarities of its own. The fertilizing cells are produced in every male from a special tissue, which greatly develops at maturity when the fertilizing cells are matured and are capable of uniting with the ovum to produce the new being.

Along with these necessarily material facts the youth is firmly impressed with the high office of this great function, his thoughts concerning it are honest and clear, and he understands in a natural way the necessity for respecting it and guarding it for the good of those who are to follow. The essential facts the child can well learn before his own maturity. They seem to him matter-of-fact, like any other phenomena of life. He does not need to brood over an incomprehensible and veiled mystery, and the whole subject cannot fail to have a broader significance, a deeper, wider meaning, a purer influence than it could have if only the physiological facts relating to his own life came to his knowledge.

But should one wait for all these intermediate steps before telling the facts of human life?

That perhaps depends upon the temperament and circ.u.mstances of the parent and the needs of the child. It does not matter much whether the steps are taken consecutively or not, so long as the child gets a clear idea of the main facts and connects them in his mind with similar phenomena in all forms of life. Nor is a great store of knowledge on the part of the parent necessary. Each will tell in his own way such facts as he knows, keeping only in mind that he is to impress the child with the wonder and beauty of reproduction as a means to an end, and as a universal law working essentially alike in every living thing.

There is something deeper than mere knowing, which the parent wishes to kindle, like a sacred fire which can never be extinguished, in the soul of his child. That is, a high reverence for the n.o.ble mystery of human life in its inception, and a deep love for his parents and a profound faith in them, such a love and reverence that any impulse to subvert the forces of his own life may be met with successful resistance.

The boy who hears from his mother's lips his first knowledge of his own origin, who learns from her the full meaning of maternity, its sacrifices and suffering and the great love that gladly endures all, suffers all, for the sake of the precious child who is to come to her arms,--for the young life, his life, that she is to guide and cherish,--can never enshrine a debased image of womanhood in his heart of hearts. With some children--and some mothers--this might well be the child's first introduction to the subject. Afterwards he could be shown the flower and its seeds, the fish and its eggs, the egg of the bird, and somewhat later introduced to the pollen of the flower as necessary to the completing of the wonderful transformation.

Nor will it be difficult in these growing years to instil into the boy the best elements of chivalry which shall make him a champion for his mother's s.e.x. He ought to be trained to a certain respect and courtesy toward girls and women as he grows older, by many devices in the home life which will suggest themselves to any mother. A feeling of protection for motherhood can be fostered in the boy through his relations with the lower animals; many a one has had the truth impressed upon him by his mother's admonition not to handle kitty roughly or chase her about too much, as she is carrying under her heart the burden of new life. Keeping and caring for pets may be a great education to the growing boy. It interests him in animal life, gives him occupation at home; and in breeding his pigeons, rabbits, or squirrels his interest in obtaining good specimens may be an open door to instruction of inestimable value far beyond pigeons and rabbits.

Again, the boy's pet may by some mothers be found an easy introduction to the story of the development of the new life, the main stress being laid upon the care of the little mother, who must be treated with special kindness and consideration, and must be well fed. Some mothers encourage the children to save a little of their own milk and cream for p.u.s.s.y at this time, thus conveying the impression that some sacrifice of their own comfort is due to the mother who is bearing this extra burden of life. If the child is curious, the mother can tell him so sacredly the princ.i.p.al physiological facts that he will go from her feeling as little inclination to speak carelessly of what he has heard as he would feel like shouting his prayers aloud in the street.

It will naturally occur to the mother to connect this whole subject closely with the religious thought of the child; and where this is done simply and without theology, but as an expression of the great divine love and foresight that pa.s.ses like a golden thread through every form of living creature, it may be exceedingly beautiful and exceedingly helpful.

It is now time to answer the question, "What is to be done with the older child who has received little or no preliminary instruction?"

From eleven to fourteen the boy can be told the facts he needs to know with as much preparatory flower and animal studies as can be made interesting to him. Everything will depend upon his temperament and the kind of information he may have already received. He may be interested; the chances are he will not be, or at least will pretend he is not. In such a case he must be made to listen, and some such preliminary as the following will generally attain the required result.

"There are some things that every man must understand rightly. I want to be sure you understand them, so that you may know the true from the false, the right from the wrong, and will not show yourself ignorant before the world."

Generally to be seriously called a man at this age, or invited to enter the domain of the man, will conquer, and he will listen even though he may pretend not to. It often happens that the boy entering the "contrary age" wants above all things to know, and yet is ashamed to listen. It is generally safer to talk to the boy at this time than to rely wholly upon books to be read by him. Give him the books by all means but talk them over with him, supplementing them in any way that seems best. It may be better for the father to talk to the hitherto uninstructed lad at this age, but where this is not possible then the mother should see that the boy has the information he needs, in the most outreaching form she can bestow it, trying to make him realize the universality of the truth, the fact that every living thing is subject to essentially the same s.e.x laws. It is best for him to feel that both parents understand and are interested in this side of his development, and the mother, even though the father gives the instruction, may be able to show her son that she too knows and cares. It will be much less difficult as a rule for the mother to talk to the girl at this age, and of course there will be many children, both boys and girls, with whom no difficulty will be encountered.

With older children, those perhaps from fourteen to eighteen, yet other methods may need to be pursued. Many youths can be approached without difficulty, and what they need to know can be explained directly to them. Whether this is so or not often depends quite as much on the parent as on the child. Where the mother feels that a direct appeal to the youth would be injudicious she can sometimes gain his interest by indirect methods. If there are younger children she can introduce the subject by saying that she is anxious to have the children instructed properly in this subject, and that she relies upon him to a.s.sist her in various ways, and particularly by always understanding what she is doing, and adding the weight of his influence as an older brother. She can then consult him as to the best way of going to work, explaining about the botany work and what she hopes to gain by using it, all the time taking for granted that he knows everything. If he is interested, she can explain all to him in this way, opening the door to certain other information she must be sure that he has. Of course she may be able to relegate all this instruction to the child's father, but if for any reason this is not possible, the boy must get his help either directly or indirectly from her; and in any case if it is possible to a.s.sociate him with her in the task of enlightening and helping his younger brothers it may give a certain definiteness of thought on the subject, and, what is of more importance, a sense of responsibility in regard to it. It will also help him to a realization of the universal nature of the manifestation of this side of life. By occasional appeals to his sympathy and help as time goes on and getting him to read certain books in order to help her to decide whether they would help the others, she may be able to do him an incalculable benefit. Even though he may argue against instruction, that will give an opportunity to put in his way sources of knowledge, and if he does not feel inclined to read the books recommended they can be left in his way where he can read them without being detected, which he will be apt to do. Generally young people are eager for instruction, though where they have been neglected and have formed false ideas and ideals they sometimes become perverse, particularly toward members of their own family. This may often be due to fear in one form or another, and the wise parent will leave no means untried to give the youth somehow the help he needs. Many parents feel it wise to give the youth some good book on the subject suited to his age, a book of his own which he can keep in his room to consult whenever he is puzzled or doubtful about his rule of conduct.

XII

VIGILANCE

That the facts concerning the normal reproductive life throughout nature can be presented in such a way as to create a worthy image in the mind of the learner there can be no doubt.

The question naturally arises, "Is this enough to insure morality and personal purity in the youth?" Few knowing the tendency of the age would hesitate to say most emphatically that it is not enough.

The end in view being to prepare the young soul for the great battle of life, to put upon it the armor of a knight which shall be borne untarnished, the first instruction concerning the facts of the reproductive life may well be impersonal, poetical, beautiful, filling the mind with sentiment,--not sentimentality,--so that the mental vision of this side of life shall be one worthy of the glorious mind of man.

To keep the mind of the child wisely impressed with the beauty, the achievements, of the great reproductive force in nature, which is directly responsible for every living thing on the earth, is to help immeasurably toward branding a high instead of a low ideal on his soul,--an ideal which he cannot lose when he reaches the great climax that transforms him into an adult capable of reproducing his kind, and when whatever most powerfully influences him will become a determining factor in the administration of his whole after life.

Side by side, however, with this illumination of nature's methods should go the most careful training and watchfulness in the care of the child's own person,--not that he need connect the two in the least. Later, of course, he will, and should as time goes on, have the most careful instruction concerning his own body and its functions. There are a few simple observances that every human being should learn from childhood, and learn so thoroughly and so fix as a matter of habit, that he can never break away from them.

At first the parent attends to the child's wants, later the child must care for himself; and while he ought not to be burdened with too much thought of his body, yet there are a few simple rules of hygiene which he should follow as a matter of habit, and there is one subject upon which he should be most carefully instructed,--that is, maintaining the s.e.xual purity of his body. He should be taught from the beginning to think of his body as the sacred temple of his soul, which it is a sin against nature and against G.o.d to defile. That the child's body be kept uncontaminated is one of the most priceless gifts his parents can bestow upon him; the value of this was so keenly felt in antiquity that at a certain period of Greek supremacy the laws were most stringent concerning it, a youth sinning against himself being put to death.

There seems to be a growing need of watchfulness over children in this respect; few who have not looked especially into the matter have any idea of the prevalence of harmful habits. s.e.x abuse has been called "the disease of civilization"; and where it takes firm root, it is exceedingly disastrous to the life of a nation, not only destroying, directly or indirectly, individuals, but so weakening the stock that the whole nation degenerates.

The root of the difficulty perhaps lies in the low ideal of this age on that subject. Where the ideal is low there can be no hope of a high result. That the current theories which control the lives of the many in this direction are false is the conclusion of the best scientific work of the present times. Where these theories, however, have been bred into youth for generations, they may to an extent be true simply as a result of this breeding. Darwin in his "Descent of Man" says: "It is worthy of remark that a belief constantly inculcated during the early years of life, whilst the brain is impressible, appears to acquire almost the nature of an instinct; and the very essence of an instinct is that it is followed independently of reason."

For the parent, then, to inculcate this quasi instinct against s.e.x abuse in any form is to give the child the best armor he could possibly have; and if this could be done for generations, the instinct would not need such careful fostering, as it would be born more or less developed with the child.

Every parent of a purely reared child is putting a stone in the foundation of prosperity for this wonderful new civilization, which will go on evolving, or die of decrepitude, just as its central dynamic force, the s.e.x life of the people, finally decides. s.e.x immorality is, as every one knows, one of the signs of the approaching death of a nation.

Few young mothers realize the great need of watchfulness against the formation of bad habits in even young children. And many make the mistake of supposing that with children instruction can take the place of watchfulness. During the early years of a child's life careful watching as well as careful teaching, is necessary. Nor does the social grade of the child bring immunity or the reverse. The mother who says to herself, "Oh, _my_ child would not," does not understand the nature of the problem. Anybody's child may innocently fall into this error, and every mother should equip herself with all the information necessary to guard against this most insidious of all foes and to meet it if it appears, realizing that watchfulness is necessary almost from the hour of birth,--even children in the cradle frequently needing attention in this respect. Every young mother should know that among a certain cla.s.s of people, from whom her nurse will likely be drawn, there are many who have theories most pernicious to the welfare of the child, the nurse herself not infrequently, through ignorance perhaps, being guilty of initiating the babe into a course from which it will be most difficult for him ever to depart. It is not safe to take for granted that any child does not need a certain amount of watchfulness. The most highly organized, most "high strung" sensitive natures are among those most in danger, not only from forming unfortunate habits, but from their results.

Watchfulness during the early years of the child's life, instruction in caring for himself, plenty of outdoor exercise, unstimulating food, sufficient sleep, the cold bath, agreeable occupation, abundant material for wholesome thought and imagination, will in most cases bring the child safely to the first great milestone in his life journey, the period of adolescence.

As the child grows older he should be warned against certain dangers which may beset him from other vicious or ignorant children; and of course the child's temperament, his heredity, the weakness or strength of his desires in the direction of sense pleasures, and the amount of will-power he possesses will guide the parent in the nature and amount of such instruction. Some mothers whose children have strong animal instincts are afraid to instruct them on that account. Such children are in peculiar need of watchfulness and knowledge, and the right kind of instruction does not tend to waken the senses. Of course no child should be sent away to school without an impressive warning against certain habits all too prevalent among boys in boarding schools. Here it may be wise to let him know something of what he will be sure to see or hear, that he may not be taken unawares, puzzled and tempted by things which to him will seem not to have come within the experience of his parents if they said nothing to him about them. The boy warned by his parents of the falsity of the strange doctrines he may hear preached by these unguided youths will not readily be deluded. The pure but ignorant boy going for the first time into the new life of the school, looking up to the older boys with that peculiar veneration the younger boy almost always feels for the older, moved in his senses by what he hears and sees, may speedily forget such home warnings as seem vague and pointless, and he may yield himself to a course most disastrous to his future.

How can it fail to be the duty of every parent to protect the child against the chance of making these fatal mistakes through ignorance?

Young people cannot be kept wholly out of reach of temptation, nor would it be best for them if they could be. Far better is it so to strengthen the moral fibre that they can resist.

From time to time there appears in our best publications an appeal from some noted educator for the better instruction of youth at home, and their almost universal plea is that the youth be told by the mother the facts needed to give him a reverence for womanhood.

XIII

THE TRANSFORMATION

The most difficult problems of the educator are found in connection with changes which take place in the child at the age of adolescence or p.u.b.erty. This age has never been so carefully and systematically studied as at the present time, and it is proving an unsuspected key for solving many puzzling problems of racial evolution as well as of individual development. Personally it is a time of tremendous stress,--physical, mental, and moral; the young person who escapes turmoil being the exception, not the rule.

Certain of the physical changes which occur are familiar to all, but the deep meaning of these changes is less generally understood. The parent who has wisely guided the child to this critical period has done much, but it would be a mistake to suppose that all has now been done that can be done.

The habits of self-reliance, self-control, and right thinking formed through the years of childhood will indeed help now. But there awakens for the first time a new force: the child is, in a literal as well as figurative sense, being born anew. At this new birth, which is sometimes very difficult, he enters into a hitherto unknown world of interests and feelings. While the change from child to adult may proceed as a gradual and placid unfolding in some individuals, in the great majority it advances with irregular and disturbing demonstrations. This great change takes place in girls generally at from thirteen to fifteen, and in boys a year or two later, though it is not completed for a period of five or six years. During this time the most profound alterations take place in nearly all parts of the body; the mind undergoes a similar metamorphosis, so that often the child so carefully watched from babyhood seems entirely superseded by a new being.

This is preeminently the age of romance. It is the borderland where is fought the battle of individuality, and it is probable that at this time is decided in a very deep way what is to be the trend of the whole after life. There is at this period such susceptibility to impressions that there may be indelibly stamped mental images that are the exact opposite of those of childhood, the childish memory remaining as a thing apart and by itself,--a curious separation and continuation of two lines of ideas, which every one has perhaps experienced to some extent and on some subject.

It is probable that impressions received now are of more importance in determining conduct than at any other period, or at least in determining it for a long period of years, the period when the individual makes his strongest impression upon the world. Reversion to the faith or the ideals of childhood, which so often occurs in old age, is of slight importance to society as compared to the influence of the individual when at the zenith of his powers. Consequently, it is of the utmost importance that the right thought and the high ideal be firmly implanted at this new birth. Undoubtedly the habits of childhood make impressions in the same direction more easily received, and where self-indulgence and gratification of the senses have been prominent, they will be sure to exert a tremendous power now, and _vice versa_. Thus a clear understanding of this period is of the utmost importance to whoever undertakes the guidance of youth.

The central point about which everything now revolves is the coming to maturity of the s.e.xual system. It is as absurd as it is harmful to ignore the fact that this is primarily what the change means, and that with the physical power to become a parent there normally appears, either initially or with greatly increased force, the s.e.x appet.i.te. This is normally true of both boys and girls, though the forces that have gone to make our present civilization have, at least in many cases, made the physiological sense cry subordinate in the girl, and occasionally this is also true of the boy.

There is no period in the life of the human being when he so needs help in certain ways as now, and no time when it is so difficult to help him, as every youth now more than ever before affords an individual problem. One of the difficulties attending this period is the tendency to unsymmetrical growth. Oftentimes the body shoots up with amazing rapidity, this quick growth of bone and muscle drawing heavily on the whole system; parents recognize the condition by saying the child has outgrown his strength. He has often outgrown much more than this, for his intellect may not have been able to keep pace, and we not infrequently have the anomaly of an adult body with the mind of a child.

No one is more conscious of this incongruity than the subject himself, whose anatomy seems to have run away with him. This rapid growth is generally marked by excessive development of some parts over others, so that the child becomes clumsy and awkward. If the subject is a boy, the sudden change in the size of his vocal chords often causes a distressing "breaking" of the voice which adds materially to the general sense of disharmony.