Harvard Stories Part 14

_Hud._ Aren't you going to the a.s.sembly to-night?

[_Enter Hudson from bedroom putting on evening coat._]

_Burl._ [_without looking up_]. Did you ever know me to go to more than one Harvard a.s.sembly? Don't ask foolish questions.

_Hud._ Well, don't you be such a lazy lummox. [_Going to looking-gla.s.s._] Really, Ned, you ought to go out more among decent people.

_Burl._ Yes. I have such a good time when I do. At the last and only party in Boston to which I ever went, I knew just one girl, and spilled ice-cream on her dress. After holding up the wall for an hour and a half, and finding it impossible to get you or any one else to come back to Cambridge with me, I started home alone in Riley's cab. Mr. Riley felt in a sporting mood as usual, and insisted on racing an electric car. We broke down at Central Square. It was snowing hard and the walk home in patent leathers was lovely. When I got home, of course, I found that my keys were chained to my other trousers, and I busted the bags I had on in climbing through the ventilator over the door. I dropped on the rocking-chair and the pup both at once, and then found there was nothing to drink in the book-case. Oh, I enjoyed the last a.s.sembly thoroughly. I think it would be fun to go again. Ugh!

_Hud._ Very few ever go to a party for pleasure, my dear boy. It is a duty that you owe to yourself. If you never go to b.a.l.l.s, you will never know how to behave in a ballroom. When you have learned to do that, why then you needn't go to b.a.l.l.s.

_Burl._ That is logical.

_Hud._ It is also a duty that you owe society.

_Burl._ Society can have my share of the supper, and call it square.

_Hud._ Well, now look here, Ned, I want you to go in to the a.s.sembly to-night for a particular reason, besides your own civilization.

_Burl._ I won't go. What is your reason?

_Hud._ My mother and sister have come on to Boston and are going to be at the ball to-night, and I want you to meet them.

_Burl._ Why didn't you say that in the first place? But, Steve, aren't you going to have them out here pretty soon? I can meet them then.

_Hud._ [_emphatically_]. No, sir. Not if I know it, until I can be sure of keeping out all the duns and sporting gentry who are apt to call unexpectedly. Numerous acquaintances, whom I do not care to have my good mother meet, might drop in to a little five o'clock tea. I shall probably get my quarter's allowance before long, and then I can chain up the Furies for a while, and have my family out here with an easy mind.

That bull mick Shreedy is gunning for me just at present, and if my mother knew I owed money to a prize-fighter she would never get over it.

_Burl._ Well, won't it do if I go in to-morrow and call?

_Hud._ No, I promised them that you would be there to-night, and they will be awfully disappointed if you're not. They are naturally anxious to know my chum as soon as possible.

_Burl._ Then they will be awfully disappointed if I _am_ there. You know perfectly well, when I talk to a girl at a party, what a painful ordeal it is for both of us. You ought not to spring me on your sister under such conditions. It's unfair to me and a poor joke on her.

_Hud._ Oh, don't be such a bashful a.s.s. You can do well enough if you try. My sister knows that you hate parties, and will appreciate your coming. Now, do promise me, there is a good fellow.

_Burl._ Well, I suppose I shall have to. But, Steve, I haven't time to dress for this thing to-night.

_Hud._ Nonsense. You have plenty of time to dress. How long does that operation generally take you?

_Burl._ Three quarters of an hour to dress, and an hour and three quarters to tie my cravat. I think I shall have to get one of those nice store cravats that come all tied, and strap on with a buckle.

_Hud._ Yes, get a pretty satin one with pink rose-buds on it. Oh, I shouldn't be surprised to see you turn up in anything. [_Putting on hat and overcoat._] I tell you what it is, Ned, if you continue to shun all feminine society you will soon become an unmitigated boor.

_Burl._ I am at college, thanks, and prefer it. I shall have plenty of time to take up feminine society, as you call it, after I graduate.

_Hud._ You will be a cub, and society won't take _you_ up. Now, old man, it is awfully good of you to come in on my account to-night, so don't back out,--and make yourself look as much like a gentleman as you can.

Come in as early as possible. [_Exit Hudson._]

_Burl._ [_sol._]. Why the deuce does a fellow want to go chasing into Boston, when he has only four years of this sort of thing. Steve does not half appreciate college. However, I suppose if his family [_Taking photograph from table_] is going to be there, I ought to go in. It is only decent. [_To photograph._] So, Miss Hudson, you and I are going to meet, eh? Oh, what a fool you will think me! Now, if I could only look at you without trying to talk. Steve is right, though; I ought to cure myself of this fool shyness and awkwardness before the other s.e.x, or I deserve to be called an ill-bred cub.

[_Knock at hall door._]

Come in! [_Puts down photograph hastily._]

[_Enter Jack Randolph in long coat and rubber boots._]

_Randolph._ Hullo, Ned! Did I leave my umbrella in here the other day?

_Burl._ It is a pretty good one, isn't it? No, I guess I haven't seen it.

_Rand._ [_Taking a cross-handled umbrella from beside fireplace._] Lucky you haven't.

_Burl._ Oh, while I think of it, here is that X I owe you [_pulling bill out of pocket_].

_Rand._ Good man! Marvellous memory! Remembered the wrong end of a debt.

I am glad you did, for I am devilish hard up just at present. [_Taking cigar from mantel-piece._]

_Burl._ So is everybody at this time of year. This is a great sacrifice on my part.

_Rand._ Don't give it to me now. Keep it until to-morrow, won't you?

[_Lights cigar._]

_Burl._ Better take it while you can get it. I shall have spent it next time we meet. Why don't you want it now?

_Rand._ Well, I will take it, just to relieve you. I haven't anything on but this ulster, which is not a good thing to put money in. You see, I am going round to a dress rehearsal at the Pudding.

_Burl._ Oh, that is why you are all bundled up on this clear night. Let us see your dress.

_Rand._ No, you will see it soon enough at the show to-morrow night.

Where is Steve?

_Burl._ Gone in town to trip in the mazy.

_Rand._ The habitual dude! Oh, of course, the first Harvard a.s.sembly comes off to-night. If it was not for this rehearsal I would go in and do the b.u.t.terfly myself. What would hire you to go there, Charlie?

_Burl._ Give me back that ten dollars and I will go.

_Rand._ I don't believe you would; but I'd give you the ten dollars if I could be there to see you.

_Burl._ Well, if it will please you to know it, I _am_ going in.

_Rand._ What! You going to a party! What has happened?

_Burl._ [_with dignity_]. Nothing. It is a duty that I owe to myself and society. If a man never goes to b.a.l.l.s he will never know how to behave in a ballroom.

_Rand._ [_with derisive laughter_]. That is pretty good from you. Steve has evidently been giving you a lecture. Come now, Ned, choke that off and tell me honestly what is up.

_Burl._ Nothing, I tell you. If a man shuns all polite society, he will become an unmitigated boor.