Quips and Quiddities Part 33

"Shure Moses was the Christian name Of good King Pharaoh's daughter; She was a milkmaid, and she took A _profit_ from the water."

J. A. SIDEY, _Mistura Curiosa_.

A little incident Charlotte Cushman once related to me. She said a man in the gallery of a theatre made such a disturbance that the play could not proceed. Cries of "Throw him over" arose from all parts of the house, and the noise became furious.

All was tumultuous above until a sweet and gentle female voice was heard in the pit, exclaiming, "No! I pray you, don't throw him over! I beg of you, dear friends, don't throw him over, but--_kill him where he is_."

J. T. FIELDS, _Yesterdays with Authors_.

With all his conscience and one eye askew, So false, he partly took himself for true; Whose pious talk, when most his heart was dry, Made wet the crafty crowsfoot round his eye; Who, never naming G.o.d except for gain, So never took that useful name in vain; Made Him his catspaw and the Cross his tool, And Christ the bait to trap his dupe and fool; Nor deeds of gift, but deeds of grace he forged, And snake-like slimed his victim ere he gorged; And oft at Bible meetings, o'er the rest Arising, did his holy oily best, Dropping the too rough H in h.e.l.l and Heaven, To spread the Word by which himself had thriven.

ALFRED TENNYSON, _Sea Dreams_.

Please the eyes and the ears, they will introduce you to the heart, and, nine times in ten, the heart governs the understanding.

LORD CHESTERFIELD, _Letters to his Son_.

The cup with trembling hands he grasps, Close to his thirsty lips he clasps, Ringed with its pewter rim--he gasps.

The eddying floor beneath him crawls, He clutches at the flying walls, Then like a lump of lead he falls.

_The Shotover Papers._

On fait souvent du bien pour pouvoir impunement faire du mal.

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD, _Reflexions_.

There's a joy without canker or cark, There's a pleasure eternally new, 'Tis to gloat on the glaze and the mark Of china that's ancient and blue; Unchipp'd all the centuries through It has pa.s.s'd, since the chime of it rang, And they fas.h.i.+on'd it, figure and hue, In the reign of the Emperor Hw.a.n.g.

ANDREW LANG, _Ballades in Blue China_.

Ceremony.--All that is considered necessary by many in religion and friends.h.i.+p.

HORACE SMITH, _The Tin Trumpet_.

Rogues meet their due when out they fall, And each the other blames, sir, The pot should not the kettle call Opprobrious sorts of names, sir.

LORD NEAVES, _Songs and Verses_.

I have nothing to say again' Craig, on'y it is a pity he couldna be hatched o'er again, an'

hatched different.

_Mrs. Poyser_, in GEORGE ELIOT's _Adam Bede_.

Let us have wine and women, mirth and laughter, Sermons and soda-water the day after.

LORD BYRON, _Don Juan_.

[Dr. Busby] was once invited, during a residence at Deal, by an old Westminster--who, from being a very idle, well-flogged boy, had, after a course of distinguished service, been named to the command of a fine frigate in the Downs--to visit him on board his s.h.i.+p. The doctor accepted the invitation; and, after he had got up the s.h.i.+p's side, the captain piped all hands for punishment, and said to the astonished doctor, "You d--d old scoundrel, I am delighted to have the opportunity of paying you off at last. Here, boatswain, give him three dozen."

GRONOW, _Recollections_.

_GOOD AND BAD LUCK._

Good Luck is the gayest of all gay girls; Long in one place she will not stay: Back from your brow she strokes the curls, Kisses you quick and flies away.

But Madame Bad Luck soberly comes And stays--no fancy has she for flitting-- s.n.a.t.c.hes of true-love songs she hums, And sits by your bed, and brings her knitting.

JOHN HAY, _Poems_.

I wish nine-tenths of the pictures that have been painted had never been preserved; it is such a nuisance having to go and see them.

_Ellesmere_, in HELPS's _Friends in Council_.

Victor Hugo is an Egoist, or, to use a stronger term, he is a Hugoist.

HEINRICH HEINE, _Musical Notes from Paris_.

_ON WOMEN AS UNIONISTS._

Among the men, what dire divisions rise-- For "Union" one, "No Union" t'other cries.

Shame on the s.e.x that such dispute began-- Ladies are all for union--to a man!

ANON.

Si c'est un crime de l'aimer, On n'en doit justement blamer Que les beautes qui sont en elle; La faute en est au dieux Qui la firent si belle, Et non pas a mes yeux.

JEAN DE LINGENDES.

"Was not ---- very disagreeable?" "Why, he was as disagreeable as the occasion would permit,"

Luttrell said.

SYDNEY SMITH, _Life and Letters_.