Quips and Quiddities Part 42

I suppose all phrases of mere compliment have their turn to be true. A man is occasionally thankful when he says "thank you."

_Stephen Guest_, in GEORGE ELIOT's _Mill on the Floss_.

_ON ATALANTA._

When the young Greek for Atalanta sigh'd, He might have fool'd and follow'd till he died!

He learn'd the s.e.x, the bribe before her roll'd, And found, the short way to the heart, is--Gold.

GEORGE CROLY (1780-1860).

_De mortuis nil nisi bene_: of the living speak nothing but evil.

HEINRICH HEINE, _Thoughts and Fancies_.

I once met a man who had forgiven an injury.

I hope some day to meet the man who has forgiven an insult.

CHARLES BUXTON, _Notes of Thought_.

Walk in the Park--you'll seldom fail To find a Sybaris on the rail By Lydia's ponies, Or hap on Barrus, wigged, and stayed, Ogling some unsuspecting maid.

The great Gargilius, then, behold!

His "long-bow" hunting tales of old Are now but duller; Fair Neobule too! Is not One Hebrus here--from Aldershot?

Aha, you colour!

Be wise. There old Canidia sits; No doubt she's tearing you to bits.

Here's Pyrrha, "golden-haired" at will; Prig Damasippus, preaching still; Asterie flirting,-- Radiant, of course. We'll make her black,-- Ask her when Gyges' s.h.i.+p comes back.

AUSTIN DOBSON, _Vignettes in Rhyme_.

La reconnaissance de la plupart des hommes n'est qu'une secrete envie de recevoir de plus grands bienfaits.

LA ROCHEFOUCAULD, _Reflexions_.

The surest way to make ourselves agreeable to others is by seeming to think them so.

W. HAZLITT, _Characteristics_.

_SELF-EVIDENT._

When other lips and other eyes Their tales of love shall tell, Which means the usual sort of lies You've heard from many a swell; When, bored with what you feel is bosh, You'd give the world to see A friend whose love you know will wash, Oh, then remember me!

When Signor Solo goes his tours, And Captain Craft's at Ryde, And Lord Fitzpop is on the moors, And Lord knows who beside; When to exist you feel a task Without a friend at tea, At such a moment I but ask That you'll remember me.

J. R. PLANCHe, _Songs and Poems_.

When a man is called stingy, it is as much as calling him rich; and when a man's called rich, why he's a man universally respected.

_Sir John Vesey_, in LORD LYTTON's _Money_.

Cursed be the Bank of England notes, that tempt the soul to sin!

Cursed be the want of acres,--doubly cursed the want of tin!

Cursed be the marriage-contract, that enslaved thy soul to greed!

Cursed be the sallow lawyer, that prepared and drew the deed!

Cursed be his foul apprentice, who the loathsome fees did earn!

Cursed be the clerk and parson--cursed be the whole concern!

_Bon Gaultier Ballads._

Never hold anybody by the b.u.t.ton, or the hand, in order to be heard out; for, if people are not willing to hear you, you had much better hold your tongue than them.

LORD CHESTERFIELD, _Letters to his Son_.

I have learned to love Lucy, though faded she be; If my next love be lovely, the better for me; By the end of next summer, I'll give you my oath, It was best, after all, to have flirted with both.

CHARLES G.o.dFREY LELAND.

General Ornano, observing a certain n.o.bleman--who, by some misfortune in his youth, lost the use of his legs--in a Bath chair, which he wheeled about, and inquiring the name of the English peer, D'Orsay answered, "Pere la Chaise."

GRONOW, _Recollections_.

Poet-professor! Now my brain thou kindlest: I am become a most determined Tyndallist.

If it is known a fellow can make skies, Why not make bright blue eyes?

This to deny the folly of a dunce it is: Surely a girl as easy as a sunset is?

If you can make a halo or eclipse, Why not two laughing lips?

Why should an author scribble rhymes or articles?

Bring me a dozen tiny Tyndall-particles: Therefrom I'll coin a dinner, Nash's wine, And a nice girl to dine.

MORTIMER COLLINS, _The British Birds_.

They now speak of the peculiar difficulties and restrictions of the Episcopal Office. I only read in Scripture of two inhibitions--boxing and polygamy.