Phineas Redux Part 75

"I should think it was," said his lords.h.i.+p, who did not like being questioned about coats.

"You don't think the coat the man wore when you saw him was a big coat like that? You think he wore a little coat?"

"He wore a grey coat," said Lord Fawn.

"This is grey;--a coat shouldn't be greyer than that."

"I don't think Lord Fawn should be asked any more questions on the matter till he gives his evidence in court," said Mr. Camperdown.

"A man's life depends on it, Mr. Camperdown," said the barrister. "It isn't a matter of cross-examination. If I bring that coat into court I must make a charge against another man by the very act of doing so.

And I will not do so unless I believe that other man to be guilty.

It's an inquiry I can't postpone till we are before the jury. It isn't that I want to trump up a case against another man for the sake of extricating my client on a false issue. Lord Fawn doesn't want to hang Mr. Finn if Mr. Finn be not guilty."

"G.o.d forbid!" said his lords.h.i.+p.

"Mr. Finn couldn't have worn that coat, or a coat at all like it."

"What is it you do want to learn, Mr. Chaffanbra.s.s?" asked Mr.

Camperdown.

"Just put on the coat, Mr. Scruby." Then at the order of the barrister, Mr. Scruby, the attorney's clerk, did put on Mr. Meager's old great coat, and walked about the room in it. "Walk quick," said Mr. Chaffanbra.s.s;--and the clerk did "walk quick." He was a stout, thick-set little man, nearly half a foot shorter than Phineas Finn.

"Is that at all like the figure?" asked Mr. Chaffanbra.s.s.

"I think it is like the figure," said Lord Fawn.

"And like the coat?"

"It's the same colour as the coat."

"You wouldn't swear it was not the coat?"

"I am not on my oath at all, Mr. Chaffanbra.s.s."

"No, my lord;--but to me your word is as good as your oath. If you think it possible that was the coat--"

"I don't think anything about it at all. When Mr. Scruby hurries down the room in that way he looks as the man looked when he was hurrying under the lamp-post. I am not disposed to say any more at present."

"It's a matter of regret to me that Lord Fawn should have come here at all," said Mr. Camperdown, who had been summoned to meet his client at the chambers, but had come with him.

"I suppose his lords.h.i.+p wishes us to know all that he knew, seeing that it's a question of hanging the right man or the wrong one. I never heard such trash in my life. Take it off, Mr. Scruby, and let the policeman keep it. I understand Lord Fawn to say that the man's figure was about the same as yours. My client, I believe, stands about twelve inches taller. Thank you, my lord;--we shall get at the truth at last, I don't doubt." It was afterwards said that Mr.

Chaffanbra.s.s's conduct had been very improper in enticing Lord Fawn to Mr. Wickerby's chambers; but Mr. Chaffanbra.s.s never cared what any one said. "I don't know that we can make much of it," he said, when he and Mr. Wickerby were alone, "but it may be as well to bring it into court. It would prove nothing against the Jew even if that fellow,"--he meant Lord Fawn,--"could be made to swear that the coat worn was exactly similar to this. I am thinking now about the height."

"I don't doubt but you'll get him off."

"Well;--I may do so. They ought not to hang any man on such evidence as there is against him, even though there were no moral doubt of his guilt. There is nothing really to connect Mr. Phineas Finn with the murder,--nothing tangible. But there is no saying nowadays what a jury will do. Juries depend a great deal more on the judge than they used to do. If I were on trial for my life, I don't think I'd have counsel at all."

"No one could defend you as well as yourself, Mr. Chaffanbra.s.s."

"I didn't mean that. No;--I shouldn't defend myself. I should say to the judge, 'My lord, I don't doubt the jury will do just as you tell them, and you'll form your own opinion quite independent of the arguments'."

"You'd be hung, Mr. Chaffanbra.s.s."

"No; I don't know that I should," said Mr. Chaffanbra.s.s, slowly. "I don't think I could affront a judge of the present day into hanging me. They've too much of what I call thick-skinned honesty for that.

It's the temper of the time to resent nothing,--to be mealy-mouthed and mealy-hearted. Jurymen are afraid of having their own opinion, and almost always s.h.i.+rk a verdict when they can."

"But we do get verdicts."

"Yes; the judge gives them. And they are mealy-mouthed verdicts, tending to equalise crime and innocence, and to make men think that after all it may be a question whether fraud is violence, which, after all, is manly, and to feel that we cannot afford to hate dishonesty. It was a bad day for the commercial world, Mr. Wickerby, when forgery ceased to be capital."

"It was a horrid thing to hang a man for writing another man's name to a receipt for thirty s.h.i.+llings."

"We didn't do it, but the fact that the law held certain frauds to be hanging matters operated on the minds of men in regard to all fraud.

What with the joint-stock working of companies, and the confusion between directors who know nothing and managers who know everything, and the dislike of juries to tread upon people's corns, you can't punish dishonest trading. _Caveat emptor_ is the only motto going, and the worst proverb that ever came from dishonest stony-hearted Rome. With such a motto as that to guide us no man dare trust his brother. _Caveat lex_,--and let the man who cheats cheat at his peril."

"You'd give the law a great deal to do."

"Much less than at present. What does your _Caveat emptor_ come to?

That every seller tries to pick the eyes out of the head of the purchaser. Sooner or later the law must interfere, and _Caveat emptor_ falls to the ground. I bought a horse the other day; my daughter wanted something to look pretty, and like an old a.s.s as I am I gave a hundred and fifty pounds for the brute. When he came home he wasn't worth a feed of corn."

"You had a warranty, I suppose?"

"No, indeed! Did you ever hear of such an old fool?"

"I should have thought any dealer would have taken him back for the sake of his character."

"Any dealer would; but--I bought him of a gentleman."

"Mr. Chaffanbra.s.s!"

"I ought to have known better, oughtn't I? _Caveat emptor_."

"It was just giving away your money, you know."

"A great deal worse than that. I could have given the--gentleman--a hundred and fifty pounds, and not have minded it much. I ought to have had the horse killed, and gone to a dealer for another. Instead of that,--I went to an attorney."

"Oh, Mr. Chaffanbra.s.s;--the idea of your going to an attorney."

"I did then. I never had so much honest truth told me in my life."

"By an attorney!"

"He said that he did think I'd been born long enough to have known better than that! I pleaded on my own behalf that the gentleman said the horse was all right. 'Gentleman!' exclaimed my friend. 'You go to a gentleman for a horse; you buy a horse from a gentleman without a warranty; and then you come to me! Didn't you ever hear of _Caveat emptor_, Mr. Chaffanbra.s.s? What can I do for you?' That's what my friend, the attorney, said to me."

"And what came of it, Mr. Chaffanbra.s.s? Arbitration, I should say?"

"Just that;--with the horse eating his head off every meal at ever so much per week,--till at last I fairly gave in from sheer vexation. So the--gentleman--got my money, and I added something to my stock of experience. Of course, that's only my story, and it may be that the gentleman could tell it another way. But I say that if my story be right the doctrine of _Caveat emptor_ does not encourage trade. I don't know how we got to all this from Mr. Finn. I'm to see him to-morrow."

"Yes;--he is very anxious to speak to you."