Nonsense Books Part 33

By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread, In the middle of which he inserted his head; His s.h.i.+rt was made up of no end of dead Mice, The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice; His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes; His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose; His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops; His b.u.t.tons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops; His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border, And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order; And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather, A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves st.i.tched all together.

He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise, Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys; And from every long street and dark lane in the town Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.

Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak; Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke; Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat, And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat; An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore _up_ his Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies; And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops, Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.

He tried to run back to his house, but in vain, For scores of fat Pigs came again and again: They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors; They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers; And now from the housetops with screechings descend Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end: They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat, When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that; They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice, And utterly tore up his s.h.i.+rt of dead Mice; They swallowed the last of his s.h.i.+rt with a squall,-- Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all.

And he said to himself, as he bolted the door, "I will not wear a similar dress any more, Any more, any more, any more, never more!"

MR. AND MRS. DIs...o...b..LOS.

I.

Mr. and Mrs. Dis...o...b..los Climbed to the top of a wall.

And they sate to watch the sunset sky, And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry, And the Biscuit Buffalo call.

They took up a roll and some Camomile tea, And both were as happy as happy could be, Till Mrs. Dis...o...b..los said,-- "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!

It has just come into my head, Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!

Darling Mr. Dis...o...b..los!

II.

"Suppose we should fall down flumpetty, Just like pieces of stone, On to the thorns, or into the moat, What would become of your new green coat?

And might you not break a bone?

It never occurred to me before, That perhaps we shall never go down any more!"

And Mrs. Dis...o...b..los said, "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!

What put it into your head To climb up this wall, my own Darling Mr. Dis...o...b..los?"

III.

Mr. Dis...o...b..los answered, "At first it gave me pain, And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink When your exclamation made me think We might never get down again!

But now I believe it is wiser far To remain for ever just where we are."

And Mr. Dis...o...b..los said, "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!

It has just come into my head We shall never go down again, Dearest Mrs. Dis...o...b..los!"

IV.

So Mr. and Mrs. Dis...o...b..los Stood up and began to sing,-- "Far away from hurry and strife Here we will pa.s.s the rest of life, Ding a dong, ding dong, ding!

We want no knives nor forks nor chairs, No tables nor carpets nor household cares; From worry of life we've fled; Oh! W! X! Y! Z!

There is no more trouble ahead, Sorrow or any such thing, For Mr. and Mrs. Dis...o...b..los!"

THE QUANGLE w.a.n.gLE'S HAT.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

I.

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree The Quangle w.a.n.gle sat, But his face you could not see, On account of his Beaver Hat.

For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide, With ribbons and bibbons on every side, And bells, and b.u.t.tons, and loops, and lace, So that n.o.body ever could see the face Of the Quangle w.a.n.gle Quee.

II.

The Quangle w.a.n.gle said To himself on the Crumpetty Tree, "Jam, and jelly, and bread Are the best of food for me!

But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree The plainer than ever it seems to me That very few people come this way And that life on the whole is far from gay!"

Said the Quangle w.a.n.gle Quee.

III.

But there came to the Crumpetty Tree Mr. and Mrs. Canary; And they said, "Did ever you see Any spot so charmingly airy?

May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?

Mr. Quangle w.a.n.gle, grant us that!

O please let us come and build a nest Of whatever material suits you best, Mr. Quangle w.a.n.gle Quee!"

IV.

And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl; The Snail and the b.u.mble-Bee, The Frog and the Fimble Fowl (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg); And all of them said, "We humbly beg We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,-- Mr. Quangle w.a.n.gle, grant us that!

Mr. Quangle w.a.n.gle Quee!"

V.

And the Golden Grouse came there, And the Pobble who has no toes, And the small Olympian bear, And the Dong with a luminous nose.

And the Blue Baboon who played the flute, And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute, And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,-- All came and built on the lovely Hat Of the Quangle w.a.n.gle Quee.

VI.

And the Quangle w.a.n.gle said To himself on the Crumpetty Tree, "When all these creatures move What a wonderful noise there'll be!"

And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon, On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree, And all were as happy as happy could be, With the Quangle w.a.n.gle Quee.

THE c.u.mMERBUND.

An Indian Poem.

I.

She sate upon her Dobie, To watch the Evening Star, And all the Punkahs, as they pa.s.sed, Cried, "My! how fair you are!"

Around her bower, with quivering leaves, The tall Kamsamahs grew, And Kitmutgars in wild festoons Hung down from Tchokis blue.