Nonsense Books Part 34

II.

Below her home the river rolled With soft meloobious sound, Where golden-finned Chupra.s.sies swam, In myriads circling round.

Above, on tallest trees remote Green Ayahs perched alone, And all night long the Mussak moan'd Its melancholy tone.

III.

And where the purple Nullahs threw Their branches far and wide, And silvery Goreewallahs flew In silence, side by side, The little Bheesties' twittering cry Rose on the flagrant air, And oft the angry Jampan howled Deep in his hateful lair.

IV.

She sate upon her Dobie, She heard the Nimmak hum, When all at once a cry arose, "The c.u.mmerbund is come!"

In vain she fled: with open jaws The angry monster followed, And so (before a.s.sistance came) That Lady Fair was swollowed.

V.

They sought in vain for even a bone Respectfully to bury; They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!"

(And Echo answered, "Very.") They nailed her Dobie to the wall, Where last her form was seen, And underneath they wrote these words, In yellow, blue, and green: "Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware!

Nor sit out late at night, Lest horrid c.u.mmerbunds should come, And swollow you outright."

NOTE.--First published in _Times of India_, Bombay, July, 1874.

THE AKOND OF SWAT.

Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT?

Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?

Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair, or SQUAT, The Akond of Swat?

Is he wise or foolish, young or old?

Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold, or HOT, The Akond of Swat?

Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk, And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk, or TROT, The Akond of Swat?

Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?

Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat, or a COT, The Akond of Swat?

When he writes a copy in round-hand size, Does he cross his T's and finish his I's with a DOT, The Akond of Swat?

Can he write a letter concisely clear Without a speck or a smudge or smear or BLOT, The Akond of Swat?

Do his people like him extremely well?

Or do they, whenever they can, rebel, or PLOT, At the Akond of Swat?

If he catches them then, either old or young, Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung, or _shot_, The Akond of Swat?

Do his people prig in the lanes or park?

Or even at times, when days are dark, GAROTTE?

O the Akond of Swat!

Does he study the wants of his own dominion?

Or doesn't he care for public opinion a JOT, The Akond of Swat?

To amuse his mind do his people show him Pictures, or any one's last new poem, or WHAT, For the Akond of Swat?

At night if he suddenly screams and wakes, Do they bring him only a few small cakes, or a LOT, For the Akond of Swat?

Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?

Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe, or a DOT, The Akond of Swat?

Does he like to lie on his back in a boat Like the lady who lived in that isle remote, SHALLOTT, The Akond of Swat?

Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?

Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ, or a SCOT, The Akond of Swat?

Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?

Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave, or a GROTT, The Akond of Swat?

Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?

Or a bowl? or a gla.s.s? or a cup? or a mug? or a POT, The Akond of Swat?

Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe, When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe, or ROT, The Akond of Swat?

Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends, And tie it neat in a bow with ends, or a KNOT, The Akond of Swat?

Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?

When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes, or NOT, The Akond of Swat?

Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?

Does he sail about on an inland lake, in a YACHT, The Akond of Swat?

Some one, or n.o.body, knows I wot Who or which or why or what Is the Akond of Swat!

NOTE.--For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, _pa.s.sim_.

The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus.