Every Man in His Humor Part 23

Kit.

Abroad with Thomas! Oh, that villain dors me: Beast that I was, to trust him! whither, I pray you, Went she?

Brid. I know not, sir.

Wel. I'll tell you, brother, Whither I suspect she's gone;

Kit. Whither, good brother?

Wel. To Cob's house, I believe: but, keep my counsel.

Kit.

I will, I will: to Cob's house! doth she haunt Cob's?

She's gone a purpose now to cuckold me, With that lewd rascal, who, to win her favour, Hath told her all.

[Exit.

Wel. Come, he is once more gone, Sister, let's lose no time; the affair is worth it. [Exeunt.

SCENE VII.---A Street.

Enter MATHEW and BOBADILL.

Mat. I wonder, captain, what they will say of my going away, ha?

Bob. Why, what should they say; but as of a discreet gentleman; quick, wary, respectful of nature's fair lineaments? and that's all.

Mat. Why so! but what can they say of your beating?

Bob. A rude part, a touch with soft wood, a kind of gross battery used, laid on strongly, borne most patiently; and that's all.

Mat. Ay, but would any man have offered it in Venice, as you say?

Bob. Tut! I a.s.sure you, no: you shall have there your n.o.bilis, your gentilezza, come in bravely upon your reverse, stand you close, stand you firm, stand you fair, save your retricato with his left leg, come to the a.s.salto with the right, thrust with brave steel, defy your base wood! But wherefore do I awake this remembrance? I was fascinated, by Jupiter; fascinated, but I will be unwitch'd and revenged by law.

Mat. Do you hear? is it not best to get a warrant, and have him arrested and brought before justice Clement?

Bob. It were not amiss; would we had it!

Enter BRAINWORM disguised as FORMAL.

Mat. Why, here comes his man; let's speak to him.

Bob. Agreed, do you speak,

Mat. Save you, sir.

Brai. With all my heart, sir.

Mat. Sir, there is one Downright hath abused this gentleman and myself, and we determine to make our amends by law: now, if you would do us the favour to procure a warrant to bring him afore your master, you shall be well considered, I a.s.sure you, sir.

Brai. Sir, you know my service is my living; such favours as these gotten of my master is his only preferment, and therefore you must consider me as I may make benefit of my place.

Mat. How is that, Sir?

Brai. Faith, sir, the thing is extraordinary, and the gentleman may be of great account; yet, be he what he will, if you will lay me down a brace of angels in my hand you shall have it, otherwise not.

Mat. How shall we do, captain? he asks a brace of angels, you have no money?

Bob. Not a cross, by fortune.

Mat. Nor I, as I am a gentleman, but twopence left of my two s.h.i.+llings in the morning for wine and radish: let's find him some p.a.w.n.

Bob. p.a.w.n! we have none to the value of his demand.

Mat. O, yes; I'll p.a.w.n this jewel in my ear, and you may p.a.w.n your silk stockings, and pull up your boots, they will ne'er be mist: it must be done now.

Bob. Well, an there be no remedy, I'll step aside and pull them off.

[Withdraws.

Mat. Do you hear, sir? we have no store of money at this time, but you shall have good p.a.w.ns; look you, sir, this jewel, and that gentleman's silk stockings; because we would have it dispatch'd ere we went to our chambers.

Brai. I am content, sir; I will get you the What's his name, say you? Downright?

Mat. Ay, ay, George Downright.

Brai. What manner of man is he?

Mat. A tall big man, sir; he goes in a cloak most commonly of silk-russet, laid about with russet lace.

Brai. 'Tis very good, sir.

Mat. Here, Sir, here's my jewel.

Bob. [returning.] And here are my stockings.

Brai. Well, gentlemen, I'll procure you this warrant presently; but who will you have to serve it?

Mat. That's true, captain: that must be considered.

Bob. Body O' me, I know not; 'tis service of danger.

Brai. Why, you were best get one O' the varlets of the city, a serjeant: I'll appoint you one, if you please.

Mat. Will you, sir? why, we can wish no better.

Bob. We'll leave it to you, sir.

[Exeunt Bob. and Mat.

Brai. This is rare! Now will I go and p.a.w.n this cloak of the justice's man's at the broker's, for a varlet's suit, and be the varlet myself; and get either more p.a.w.ns, or more money of Downright, for the arrest.

[Exit.

SCENE VIII.-The Lane before COB'S House.