When You Ride Alone You Ride with Bin Laden Part 5

The relevant comparison between the United States and the Muslim world should be from our time of ascendancy, now, to their time of ascendancy, in the late Middle Ages. How "compa.s.sionate" was the foreign policy of the Seljuk Turks or the Abbasid caliphate during the time when they were carrying the big stick? It's easy to claim moral superiority when you are a powerless nation-hey, without that the U.N. would just be a lot of black guys with good parking spots in New York. It's easy to be a powerless country and have lofty, unattainable ideals- that's all you have. Just the stuff people dream of, like, you know, driving every Israeli into the sea.

But powerful nations should be judged differently in the world contest. Powerful nations have opportunities to be bad. They have options. It's like with men: only as loyal as their options. Contrary to feminist nonsense, Mick Jagger doesn't have "Peter Pan complex," he just has options unavailable to the average Mack who's sixty. In the same way, America has the option to settle nearly everything with brute power, but it doesn't. Like we couldn't just take the oil? Please. I'm not saying that makes us saints for pa.s.sing on the absolute lowest, most selfish road. I'm saying it makes us, right now, better than them. I'm saying that, among the Seljuk Turks, "Should we take the oil?" is not even a discussion.

America is not a blameless nation: indeed, our challenge at the Pearly Gates will be about what we did to our own people (genocide and slavery are not misdemeanors in heaven.) But does anyone really say, Gee, what would the world he like if Saddam Hussein or any of the amoral despots who run so many countries had the big nuclear capability and America was Canada? Should we try it that way?

Frighteningly, millions around the world would say yes. I have foreign friends who, when they hear me speak, scoff and say, "America just does its own brand of conquering." Yes, exactly, and our brand is better. Yes, we plunder with our "cultural imperialism," boo hoo; I'm guessing that's better than the Genghis Khan-Joseph Stalin variety. Our soldiers are stationed in the Holy Land? Your warlord's henchmen are in your sister's bedroom.

And while we're at it, can we stop with "American cultural imperialism?" Harry Potter is English, Pokemon is j.a.panese, soccer is just awful. Does anyone really expect the United States, which has, through hard work and ingenuity become the lone superpower, to have its effect felt nowhere in the world? The steps of the world's giant should be so soft that no one can even hear them? We have the power of Rome, but the big crisis is you're eating our c.r.a.ppy fast food?

World history is really all about timing. It is lucky to be an American in the last half of the 20th century, and we should never forget that. If you are, it means you're one of the blessed people born in the right country at the right time. In the 13th century, you'd want to be a Mongolian; in the 15th century BC, an Egyptian; in the ninth a Frank. Islam in the Middle Ages was far superior to European civilization, having medicine, math and astronomy while whitey was s.h.i.+vering behind castle walls and dying at 30.

But they stopped, and we didn't. We edited, and self-corrected. We had a renaissance and an enlightenment, and they didn't.

Everyone in the world isn't just "different," as politically correct multiculturalism would have you believe. That's the kind of thinking that lets people get away with keeping women in the beekeeper suits! Freedom of religion, representative democracy, religious and ethnic tolerance, equality of the s.e.xes, rule of law, free speech-these things aren't just different from beheadings and stonings and autocracy-they're better.

"We have our extremists and fundamentalists, too,,, I hear people say. Yeah, but America is a great country because our kooks and nuts are funny, not scary! They do things like accuse puppets on television shows of being gay because they're purple, and everyone laughs. Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson think h.o.m.os burn in h.e.l.l, but they don't suggest we drag Richard Simmons into the public square and cut off his head!

I'm suggesting it. In fact, I'm insisting on it.

September 11, it was said, united all Americans, and in some ways it did-but if what allows two American strangers to sing our anthem together is a common belief that this is the greatest country, that's not enough. We have to also agree on why it's the greatest country, and it's not because the toilets flush like typhoons.

If there's one thing we've heard a lot since 9/11-besides how easy it is for firemen to get laid-it's that "we're at a crossroads." Politicians love to say "we're at a crossroads" because it makes their meaningless election as the Republicrat representing the whiners of wherever seem crucial, though it's usually not. But September 11? That is a crossroads. It is a real threat, a real gut check, a real test of how we respond. A politician-or any type of panderer-always says "America will prevail." But that is the expression of a wish, not the basis for policy. Because if you believe that our prevailing is a.s.sured, then your policy would be to do nothing, and many have.

Obviously, that's not the approach this book has endorsed. I am proud to be Western. To be pro-active. To respect fate, but not be pa.s.sive about my future. I believe we will prevail, but I don't believe it's pre-ordained. I know G.o.d blesses America, and loves us best, but maybe He's going to get another girlfriend in the future. After all, He dumped England for us, and Spain for England, and Holland for Spain and so on and so on. And even if we are different and are in fact the real, true Manifest Destiny Chosen PeopIe-let's act like we're not, just in case. Just to cover our a.s.ses.

My favorite movie is Saving Private Ryan, and at the end of it a dying Tom Hanks tells the saved private, "Earn this." I try to remember that every day, and put myself in Ryan's place. We're all a little intoxicated with just being Americans, but even better would be to earn it. And kill the world with kindness, because it will make us safer, and even greater.

We've been the greatest country on earth for two centuries~. Let's Three-peat!