This Man Part 54

'Explain what? I've seen everything I need to see.' I shout. 'No explanation required! It all speaks loud and clear for itself.'

He steps towards me with his hands out. 'You weren't supposed to find out like this.'

I'm suddenly aware of an audience watching our little altercation. Sam, Drew and Kate are all standing at the bar entrance looking uncomfortable...pitiful, even. John looks grave as he a.s.sesses Jesse, and Sarah looks as smug as can be. I know now that she must have picked up my message on Jesse's phone. She opened the gates and she opened the door. She's got her way. She can have him.

I don't recognise the snide, c.o.c.ky looking man stood next to her, but he's looking at me with an unfriendly glare. I watch him turn his eyes on Jesse with a sneer. 'What a f.u.c.k up you really are.' he spits at Jesse's back, his tone full of hatred. Who the h.e.l.l is he?

I watch as John grabs him by the scruff of the neck, shaking him a little. 'You're no longer a member, mother f.u.c.ker. I'll be escorting you from the grounds.'

The c.o.c.ky creature laughs a cold sinister laugh. 'Be my guest. Looks like your tart has seen the light, Ward.' he hisses. Jesse's eyes turn black in a nanosecond.

'Shut the f.u.c.k up.' John growls.

'Revoked members.h.i.+p,' I whisper. 'He got too excited.'

He directs his cold eyes back at me. 'He takes what he wants and leaves a trail of s.h.i.+t behind him,' he snarls, his words punching all the air from my lungs. I notice Jesse stiffen from head to toe. 'He f.u.c.ks them all and f.u.c.ks them off.'

Turning my gaze back on Jesse, I find his eyes are still black, his frown line a burden on his forehead. 'Why?' I ask. I don't know why I'm asking this. It's not going to make a jot of difference. But I feel I deserve some sort of explanation. He f.u.c.ks them all a once a and f.u.c.ks them off.

'Don't listen to him, Ava.' Jesse steps forward. I can see his jaw is tense to snapping point.

'Ask him how my wife is.' The nasty piece of work spits. 'He did the same to her as he did to all the others. Husbands and conscience don't get in his way.'

And that's all it takes to tip Jesse over the edge. He turns and flies at the man like a bullet, taking him clean from John's grasp and to the parquet floor on a loud crash. Sam yanks Kate back and there are a few gasps, as everyone watches Jesse kick ten tons of s.h.i.+t out of the man.

I'm not compelled to scream at him to stop, even though he looks like he could possibly kill him. I walk out of The Manor and get into my car. Kate flies down the steps, racing towards me. She jumps in but doesn't say a word. When we reach the gates, they open without me stopping. I'm surprised a I was preparing to ram them down.

'Sam,' Kate says when I look at her. 'He said we're better off out of here.'

I hadn't considered, until now, that all of this is news to Kate as well. She seems ever the laid back, take it in her stride, Kate.

I, however, feel like I'm freefalling into h.e.l.l.

Chapter 37.

I walk through Kate's front door and straight upstairs to the flat like a zombie.

Bless Kate. She makes no attempt to try and extract more information from me. Instead, she lets me fall onto the sofa in a tear stained heap and brings me a cup of tea.

My eyes widen when the front door slams. Kate runs out to the banister. 'It's just Sam.' she rea.s.sures me as she comes back into the lounge.

'He has a key?' I ask. Kate shrugs it off, but this small snippet of news has me smiling to myself. Will she take it back in light of this new found knowledge?

My phone rings again and I reject the call...again.

Sam steams into the lounge, looking as nervous as he did at The Manor. We both look up at him as he does a little tennis spectator impression, flicking his eyes from me to Kate and back again a few times.

Stalking over to Kate, he all but hauls her out of the lounge by her elbow. 'We need to talk.' he says urgently. I crane my neck around, watching as he practically throws her into her bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

I lie on the sofa, my tea resting on my stomach, and close my eyes. They don't stay shut for long. Mental images of Jesse are imprinted on my brain, and with my eyes closed, there's no other visual distraction, so they are all the more clearer. I'm never going to be able to sleep again. My phone starts again. Reaching down, I stab the reject b.u.t.ton, staring up at the swirly artex ceiling of the lounge.

I've never felt pain like this before. It's excruciating and way beyond fixable. He owns a f.u.c.king s.e.x club? Why? Why couldn't he be a banker or a financial advisor? Or...a hotel owner... I knew there was something wrong, something dangerous. Why didn't I take a few moments to try and gather my senses? I know exactly why a because I wasn't allowed to, I wasn't given a chance to.

I sit up when I hear Kate's high shrill travel across the landing, followed by Sam's placating tones trying to calm her down. She flies out of her room with Sam in tow. He's struggling to pull her back.

'Get your f.u.c.king hands off me, Samuel. She needs to know.'

'Wait a minute...Kate...arhhhhhh! What the f.u.c.k did you do that for?' Kate retrieves her knee from Sam's groin, leaving him in a folded, groaning mess on the landing, before barging into the lounge and punching me with her blue stare.

'What?' I ask, apprehensively. What do I need to know now?

She throws Sam a filthy look when he appears at the lounge door grasping his groin. I'm left wondering why Sam's looking so apologetic when it's Kate that's just kneed him in the b.a.l.l.s. She points at the chair aggressively, silently demanding him to sit. He limps over, lowering himself on a painful hiss.

'Ava, he's on his way over.' she tells me calmly. I don't know why she chooses this tone. It's not going to calm me a not at all.

I gasp, looking at Sam sat in the chair, refusing to meet my eyes. He wasn't going to tell me? I was stupid to think Jesse would make this easy. 'I need to leave,' I wail as my d.a.m.n phone starts again. 'f.u.c.k off!' I shout at the stupid thing.

'Take her.' Kate swings around to Sam. 'She's in no state to drive.'

'Oh no, not me,' He holds his hands up, shaking his head. 'It's more than my life's worth. Anyway, I need to talk to you.' He jerks his head towards Kate.

We all jump at the sound of an almighty crash at the door, my heart promptly leaping into my throat as I look at Kate. Sam groans, and it's not because of the pain Kate's inflicted on him.

'You dirty little turncoat.' she mutters angrily, piercing Sam with her sharp, blue eyes.

'Hey, I didn't say a f.u.c.king word!' He's on the major defensive. 'It wouldn't take a f.u.c.king rocket scientist to work out where she is.'

'Don't answer it, Kate.' I plead.

A combination of more bangs play out on the front door. G.o.d, I don't want to see him. My defences are not strong enough right now. I jump at a succession of more bangs, followed by a chorus of car horns that sound off all around.

'For f.u.c.ks sake,' Kate yells, running across the room to look out of the window. 's.h.i.+t.' She pulls the blind up, getting up close and personal with the gla.s.s.

'What?' I join her at the window. I know it's him, but what's with the racket?

'Look!' she yells, pointing down below. I force my eyes to follow her hand and see Jesse's car abandoned in the middle of the street, his driver's door wide open and a line of traffic starting to build up behind it. He's not left enough room for cars to pa.s.s, causing tempers to flare and car horns to honk. It's all clearly audible from up here.

'Ava!' I hear him bellow. He proceeds to thump the door a few more times.

'Oh, f.u.c.king h.e.l.l, Ava,' Kate carps. 'That man's a walking, talking detonate b.u.t.ton and you've just pressed it!' She starts stalking out of the lounge.

I rush after her. 'I pressed nothing, Kate. Don't answer the door!' I lean over the banister, watching Kate fly down the stairs to the front door.

'I can't just leave him out there causing anarchy on the street.' She carries on her way.

I panic and run back into the lounge, pa.s.sing Sam, who's still sat in the chair rubbing his sore spot, mumbling inaudible words.

'Why didn't you tell Kate?' I ask him sharply on my way back to the window.

'I'm sorry, Ava.'

'You need to be apologising to Kate, not me.' I turn back, finding no trace of the fun loving, cheeky chap that I've become so fond of. Instead, there's a tense, uneasy, timid man.

'I have apologised. And I couldn't very well tell her until Jesse told you. You should know, this has been eating away at him since he met you.'

I laugh at Sam's attempt to defend his friend and look out of the window again. Jesse is still pacing outside, clearly desperate, smas.h.i.+ng the b.u.t.tons of his mobile. I know who he's calling. And, like I knew it would, my phone starts shouting in my hand. Should I answer it and tell him to go away? I stare down onto the street, panic flooding me when a driver from one of the held up cars gets out. Oh G.o.d, don't challenge him!

Kate walks out, waving her arms at Jesse. He ignores the driver that's approached, turning to Kate instead. His hand gestures are urgent. What's he saying? What's Kate saying? After a few minutes, Jesse gets in his car. Relief washes over my entire being, but he only moves it slightly so it's parked in a more considerate fas.h.i.+on, allowing the other motorists to pa.s.s.

'Oh G.o.d, Kate! What have you done?' I yell at the window.

'What's going on?' Sam asks from his chair. I don't answer him.

I stand, unable to move, watching as Jesse leans up against my car, his head dropped in defeat, his arms hanging by his sides. Kate's arms are wrapped around herself as she stands in front of him. He looks up at her, and even from here I can see the anguish riddling his face. She reaches over to him, rubbing her palm up and down his arm. It's a gesture of comfort. It's killing me.

After an eternity of watching them on the street, Kate finally turns, making her way back to the flat, but to my utter horror, Jesse starts to follow, and Kate makes no attempt to stop him.

's.h.i.+t, no!' I exclaim, throwing my hands to my head in dread. What's she thinking?

'What?' Sam shouts anxiously. 'Ava, what?'

I quickly consider my options. It doesn't take long because there are none, except to stand here and await the confrontation. There is only one way in and one way out of this flat. And with Jesse on his way in, any plans to escape the inevitable altercation are totally floored.

Kate walks into the lounge, looking rather sheepish. I'm furious with her, and she knows it. I pin her with my most filthy stare as she smiles at me nervously.

'Just hear him out, Ava. The man's a mess.' She shakes her head sorrowfully, then looks at Sam, her expression changing instantly. 'You, get in the kitchen!'

Sam scowls. 'I can't f.u.c.king move, you evil cow!' He rubs himself again, rolling his head back on the chair. Kate huffs and pulls him out of the chair. He groans, closing his eyes and gingerly limping from the room.

I can't believe her. The treacherous cow! She backs out of the room, giving me eyes full of sympathy. She wouldn't have to act so f.u.c.king sorry if she hadn't of let him in a the stupid, stupid woman. I turn to face the window before he walks in. I can't look at him. I'll dissolve into tears if I do, and I don't want him to have any excuse to comfort me or wrap his big warm arms around me. I brace myself for his voice to wash over me, every frazzled nerve ending buzzing and every muscle tense. I hear nothing. But as every hair on the back of my neck tingles, standing upright, I know he's near. My body's response to his potent presence has me closing my eyes, taking a deep breath and praying for strength.

'Please, look at me, Ava.' His voice is quivering, full of emotion. I swallow the tennis ball sized lump in my throat, fighting back a barrage of tears that are pooling in my eyes. 'Ava, please.' I feel his hand brush down the back of my arm. I flinch at the contact.

'Please, don't touch me.' I find the courage I need to turn round and face him.

His head is dropped, his shoulders sagged. He looks pitiful, but I mustn't be swayed by his sorrowful state. I've been influenced too many times by manipulation, and this...this is just another form of manipulation...Jesse style. I've been so blinded with l.u.s.t, I haven't been seeing straight. His glazed eyes pull themselves from the floor to meet mine.

'Why did you even take me there?' I ask.

'Because I want you with me all of the time, I can't be away from you.'

'Well, you'd better get use to it because I don't want to see you again.' My voice is calm and controlled, but the pain that slices through my heart in response to my own words is enough to floor me on the spot.

His eyes swim, searching mine. 'You don't mean that. I know you don't mean that.'

'I mean it.'

His chest is expanding on each deep inhale, his hair in disarray and his frown line a crater across his forehead. The distress splashed across his face is like an ice spear through my heart. 'I never meant to hurt you.' he murmurs.

'Well, you have. You've trampled into my life and trampled all over my heart. I tried to walk away. I knew there was more than meets the eye. Why didn't you let me walk away?' My voice starts to trail off as the gravel in my throat starts to win the battle and tears start to pinch at my eyes. d.a.m.n me, I should have listened to my instincts.

He starts chewing his bottom lip. 'You never really wanted to walk away.' His voice is barely audible.

'Yes, I did!' I blurt on a sniffle. 'I fought you off. I knew I was heading for trouble, but you were relentless. What happened? Did you run out of married women to f.u.c.k?'

He shakes his head. 'No, I found you.' He steps forward, and I remove myself from his reach.

'Get out.' I say calmly, my body shaking, my breathing hitching a all evidence that I'm far from calm. I barge past him, knocking his shoulder.

'I can't. I need you, Ava.' His pleading voice is going to haunt me for the rest of my days.

I swing around violently. 'You don't need me!' I fight to keep my voice solid. 'You want me. Oh G.o.d, you are a dominant, aren't you?' Flashes of all our s.e.xual encounters pa.s.s through my mind at a hundred miles an hour. He's truly fierce in the bedroom and pretty fierce outside it too.

'No!'

'Why the control issue then? And the dominance and commands?'

'The s.e.x is just s.e.x. I can't get close enough to you. The control is because I'm frightened to death that something will happen to you...that you'll be taken away from me. I've waited too long for you, Ava. I'll do anything to keep you safe. I've lived a life with little control or care. Believe me, I need you...please...please don't leave me,' He walks towards me, but I step back, fighting the instinct to let him swathe me. He stops. 'I'll never recover.'

What? No! I can't believe he's being so cruel as to use emotional blackmail. 'Do you think this is going to be any easier for me?' I scream, the tears starting to flow rapidly.

The little colour that was left in his face drains out before my eyes. He drops his head. He has no come back to that. What can he say? He knows what he's done to me. He's made me need him.

'If I could change how I've handled things, I would.' he whispers.

'But you can't. The damage is done.' My tone oozes contempt.

He looks up at me. 'The damage will be worse if you leave me.'

Oh G.o.d. 'Get out!'

'No,' He shakes his head frantically, taking a step towards me. 'Ava, please, I'm begging you.'

I move away from him, mustering up my most determined expression, swallowing constantly to keep the lump in my throat at bay. This is so incredibly painful. This is exactly why I couldn't see him. I'm so angry with him, but seeing him so whitewashed is heart-breaking. I have to keep reminding myself that he's let me down in the cruellest way. He's misled me, deceived me and, essentially, bullied me into bed with him.

You let me fall in love with you!

He stares at me, the pain in his sludgy eyes immeasurable. I'll cave if I don't look away aso I do. I drop my gaze to the floor and silently beg him to leave before I fall apart and welcome the comfort he always gives me.

'Ava, look at me.'

I take a deep breath, turning my eyes to his. 'Goodbye, Jesse.'