The Broken Sister Part 23

"Then what? I can't even comprehend this. What did you think you were doing? This went on for over four months. Who does that?"

"I thought if I was with you long enough, I could find a way to make this all work out. I could figure out what happened. I could tell you in a way that wouldn't destroy you, and you'd believe me, because you'd know by then, feel by then, what we are. What I feel about you."

"That's the lamest f.u.c.king thing I've ever heard."

He dropped his head in shame. "I know. I just didn't know what else to do."

"You never even asked. You never got my side of the story out of me. You waited until I came blubbering all over you. Why did you wait so long?"

He was shaking his head. "I don't know. I think I was pretending that none of it had happened. If I didn't talk about it, I didn't have to do anything. Cadence eventually took some money and signed a nondisclosure agreement."

"Cadence did what? You're saying she signed an agreement saying she wouldn't discuss this?"

"Yes. She settled with us. Meaning, she would no longer make public comments or accusations to Tommy or disclose what we all agreed on. If it were criminal accusations, with the police involved it wouldn't do us any good. But for civil matters? It does. It meant she couldn't post on the website any longer or keep spreading the rumors. After all the c.r.a.ppy comments on the website and enough people on campus not believing her, she finally wore down enough to settle."

"No. No, she didn't settle. She would have told me. She specifically told me the opposite."

"Yes, she did settle. We have legal paperwork to prove it. She took a substantial amount of money."

"When?"

"Two months ago. So you see, I just thought... f.u.c.k! I don't know what I thought. I just didn't want this to be the case. I thought things were done, except..."

"Except for me. But then, you know I don't talk to anyone."

"I know I fell for you."

She stepped towards him. His eyes grew wide with surprise. She tilted her head as she reached out and adjusted his tie, which he'd yanked at so it was askew. "Look at you, and I lived in some kind of fantasy, you and me... I'm a fool."

He grabbed her hand in his. "You're not a fool. I am. I just, I haven't known what to do... who to believe.... I mean, it's you. I know you, Kylie... But then, he's my brother. My little brother. I helped raise him. I can't believe he'd..."

She yanked her hand back. "You should have never wasted your time. I was never planning to do anything about it. I wasn't going to seek out Cadence, no matter what she was doing. I never told anyone and I intended to keep it that way. You shouldn't have come after me. But you did and you started telling me things, like I wasn't a s.l.u.t and all that s.h.i.+t about believing in myself and allowing myself to react how I need. Well, you gave me the strength to go talk to Cadence. You made everything worse for Tommy. I hope you realize that. I hope you realize I'm going to do everything I can now to destroy him. I don't care what it takes or what is said about me. I'll never put my head around why you did this for so long or the twisted game you were playing, but just go f.u.c.k yourself." She then calmly pa.s.sed around him and kept going until she was through the hospital doors. She fisted her hand. She'd be d.a.m.ned if she let them... the Tamasy brothers twist her all up again. She knew her truth. She knew what must be done now. Nothing and no one was going to make her feel bad again. Not even Tristan Tamasy.

Chapter Nineteen.

TRISTAN DIDN'T KNOW WHAT to do. He stared at the white wall of the hospital for a good half hour before he finally, mechanically, got to his feet and into his car. He started for home. Ignoring everything. Numb. It had all ended of course. As it had to. As this all should.

Once home he sat on his couch simply staring at the wall in his living room. Hours went by and he didn't move. He barely blinked. He felt nothing. He felt everything.

But he couldn't picture what he'd just done to Kylie. What would she do? She wouldn't tell anyone. Her embarra.s.sment, shame, denial, all of it would keep her silent. Wasting away before everyone's eyes. He couldn't stand it.

He jumped up and quickly went to his car and drove towards her place. He parked across from it. Lights were visible in the windows. He stayed there, unsure what he was doing. Being her guardian. The reality of what Cadence had done to herself sunk heavily on him. But Kylie? NO. She wouldn't do that to herself. He gripped the steering wheel, chanting it to himself. But after the day she'd had. Cadence and then him. What he'd done. Who he was.

He had to fix this. But how? What could he do? He'd apologize, of course. He had to keep trying. Begging. Pleading. Doing something...

Then she came strolling out and down the sidewalk. He blinked to make sure his subconscious wasn't conjuring her up just because he wanted her to be there. Where was she going? She didn't even glance around to make sure no one was around or creeping up behind her. She huddled in her jacket. Her ponytail rested heavy over her slim, delicate back. Her long thin legs encased in leggings and tucked into boots. He glanced around unsure what to do. He couldn't follow her like some kind of stalker.

Finally he pulled his cell out and dialed her sister.

"Ally? You've got to go check on Kylie. Please. She won't call you. She won't even tell you about it. But she needs to. She needs someone."

"Tristan?"

"Yes." He nearly growled it with annoyance.

"Where are you?"

"I came to try and talk to her but now she's walking down the street and towards some college party would be my guess. Yes, she just turned towards the campus. You know what that means, Ally."

"What the h.e.l.l? What happened?"

"I hurt her. She's going to punish herself now. Please Ally, I can't stop her, but you can. She needs someone right now.

"What did you do to her? Oh my G.o.d, did you cheat?"

He shut his eyes. "I wish it was that easy and straightforward. It's a long story. And you need to get it out of her. She needs someone. She can't keep doing this all alone. But I'm the last person she'll trust."

"Why? What happened, Tristan? She is crazy about you and you acted like..."

"I am. But it's complicated. I just need to know she'll be okay."

"I'm going right now. But if I find out you cheated I'm coming after you with a sharp knife."

He shook his head and his tone was hollow as he said, "You'll be coming after me with a lot more when you hear what I did. But Ally, I just know her. She'll bury this deep. Her shame at not seeing who I am, what I was doing to her will be first and foremost on her mind. She'll try to hide it like she does everything. But this time... she can't. Don't let her. Keep after her until she tells you."

"Tells me what?"

"What I was hiding from her..." He sighed and swore under his breath. "And mostly, what my brother did to her."

"You and your brother did to her? What could you possibly do to her..." The silence was ominous. "f.u.c.king A, Tristan, if you so much as touched a hair on her head without her permission..." Ally then hung up on him.

Kylie walked through her front door at two in the morning. She screamed when someone stood up off her bed. Tristan? No. Ally. Ally who had a key to her apartment. She stepped forward and suddenly scooped Kylie up in her arms. "What did he do to you?"

"How do you know?"

"The f.u.c.ker called me and told me to come to you. That you needed me but wouldn't tell me. What is going on, Kylie?"

"What was he doing? Spying on me?"

"He thought you were off to hurt yourself somehow. Did you?"

"No. I just walked around for a while."

What was the use? Kylie wilted into her sister's embrace. What was the use of silence anymore? Of hiding? Of her stupid attempts to hide her behaviors? Of trying to move past any of it? She just turned around and made bigger and bigger mistakes. She had thought, crazily, in the last few months she had actually turned some kind of a corner, matured or something, to stop overreacting and acting out. She thought she was moving forward, not back.

"I think... I think I need to tell Mom all this."

Ally's breath released. She didn't start interrogating her. She didn't admonish her. She just nodded and smiled as she tucked Kylie's hair back and touched her shoulder. "Okay, I'll take you home."

Tristan didn't sleep at all. When he got up finally he didn't eat or shave or even dress. He sat nursing a bottle of whiskey on the floor of his bedroom, staring up at one of the pictures he'd finally convinced Kylie to give him. He'd replaced the big art piece from his mother with Kylie's smaller, darker, pictures. He liked hers a lot better. Now he stared at it. Willing it to forgive him. Hear him. Love him back. He had no idea what to do next. Not the next moment, hour or day. The pain on Kylie's face... It caused a physical withdrawal in his brain. No. Her first fear had been What were they going to do to her? That's what she had wondered first. What were they planning to do to her? And why wouldn't that be her first reaction?

She had truly believed he was capable of physically hurting her.

"Tristan?"

He sat up when his brother's voice rang out. He got to his feet and walked toward the living room to find Tommy standing in his doorway. "What are you doing here?" His voice was hollow to his ears.

"What happened? You look like someone died."

"Sometimes I think you did."

"What? What's going on? You were acting weird at your office earlier this week. It got me curious, so I got on your computer. There are pictures there, Tristan."

Tristan kept his gaze impa.s.sive as he held his little brother's gaze. "You got onto my computer? What the f.u.c.k is wrong with you?"

Tommy's eyes were wide with suspicion. "Only they weren't at all the pictures I thought I'd find. They were... sweet. Lovely, sweet pictures of a girl frolicking in the snow, and smiling at you in this very room. They are, in short, pictures I'd imagine a man takes of the girlfriend he's in love with. There was not one suggestive thing anywhere. There was nothing to help us. What the h.e.l.l are you doing, man? What the f.u.c.k do you think you're doing?"

Tommy's blue eyes, so much like his own, flashed with anger... and fear. There was fear there too. Tristan's arms were crossed tight over his chest and he shook his head. "She's nothing like I pictured, Tommy."

"I don't even know her. I f.u.c.ked her one night, Tris. I didn't spend a lot of time finding out her hopes and dreams. What are you telling me? You have? What are you doing?"

"I don't know. But I don't think she made those accusations at you to extort money. I don't think she believes they are lies. Did you mistake something? She was drunk, right?"

"Yeah. Not new with that one. Whatever she's done to convince you otherwise, Kylie McKinley slept with dozens of my cla.s.smates. I could get you a list, Tristan, if you need to believe me. There was someone else in there that night. He'll testify what happened if it ever comes down to it. We didn't want to but he will. My friends, Hanson, Chad, and Jamal remember her leaving the next morning. You know those guys. You know they are solid. There was no rape. There was a college girl who regretted what she did the night before. She was drunk but she was willing and able with both of us. Both of us at once... you get the picture. You get how embarra.s.sing that could be for any good girl. She's recanting because she doesn't want to look like that kind of girl. Maybe she's doing it because her parents found out. Whatever it is, for whatever reason, we didn't do anything she didn't want. I don't know what game she's running on you. Or what you're doing, but if you think I'm some kind of rapist, then you need to look me in the face and tell me right now. Do you think that? Because if you do we are done. We aren't brothers anymore. If you believe that c.u.n.t, then you don't believe me."

Silence clung to them. They stared across the living room, neither of them moving. Tristan hadn't expected Tommy to come at him with an ultimatum. Blinding pain flashed behind his eyes. He never expected this. He had no ready answer. He had no gut reaction that told him what to do. He didn't want to call his brother a rapist. But he could not tolerate him calling Kylie names that would erode more away from her. Nor claiming suddenly she was lying. None of it made sense. Neither person could be what the other was accusing. He knew them both and could not believe either would do it. Tommy wasn't a monster hiding in the dark, preying on unsuspecting women. He was just a college senior having a good time. Just as Tristan had done. As Kylie had done. But neither was Kylie some gold-digging s.l.u.tty villain coming after them.

Silence went on and on, and finally Tommy's shoulders hunched forward. "Jesus, you don't know. You don't know who to believe."

"I don't. I don't know what to think. I don't... I'm not sure I believe you." He turned and walked into his bedroom and slid to the floor to keep drinking. He didn't look up again.

Tommy slammed the door as he walked out.

His brother might very well have just shut him out of his life forever more. Tristan wilted and fell back on the carpet in a stupor. How could this have happened? All of it exploding in the last day? It wasn't acceptable. Tristan suddenly shot to his feet. What he'd done to Kylie was not okay. He was guilty of crimes against her. Maybe more than anyone. He couldn't leave it as it was. He could try and do something... anything, more than he was doing now to fix this. To find some kind of solution. Sitting around hiding wasn't going to produce that. Even as he started to clean up he had no f.u.c.king idea what to do.

Chapter Twenty.

HER MOM OPENED THE door before they were even halfway up the walk. She dashed out, putting her arms around Kylie and embracing her tightly. Kylie fell into her mom's embrace and clung tightly. She wilted against her and let Tracy lead her inside.

Donny was there. He stood there, arms at his sides, strung tight. She could feel the energy emanating off him. He was worried about her too.

"What did the son of a b.i.t.c.h do to you?" Donny demanded.

She gently lifted herself from her mom's embrace. She smiled, but just barely. "It's a very long story. And I think I need to tell it all to you."

They nodded and Tracy gently swooshed her hands to make them move forward. Kylie knew Ally had called already, warning Tracy and Donny that they were coming and Kylie had something to tell them.

They each sat. Her parents on the couch and her in a chair across from them. The house was silent... and waiting. It felt like everyone was waiting for her to breathe.

"Is Julia here?"

"No, she's with Vickie."

Kylie nodded. "She shouldn't hear this. I don't know where to even start."

"Start with what Tristan did to you." Donny's tone was full of carefully controlled anger.

"I can't. It wouldn't mean much without knowing the... the stuff before."

"Okay then, start there."

She closed her eyes. This was her idea of her own personal h.e.l.l. Initiating a conversation to admit who she'd been and the kinds of things she'd done. "When I started college..." she began in a low voice. "It was a novelty to me. To be so free and away from home and all the constraints I'd always known. I-I partied quite a bit. I..."

She had no idea how she was going to get through this. To tell them what she was the victim of, they had to understand the context of how she got in that situation. Maybe she just needed them to understand she had some amount of blame in this situation too.

"I-"

Her entire body fell into the chair as if the weight of the world was on her back. She stared down. Embarra.s.sment, indignation, hurt, it all combined to make her want to curl up and hide. Not speak. Not eat. Not feel. Not deal. But look at where her usual way of coping had gotten her. So hurt inside when she'd really needed help she'd been unable to find the words to ask for it. When she was okay, she'd never found the words to say she was.

If this had taught her anything, it was that she didn't want to be so alone anymore.

She scratched at her wrist, still staring at her fingers as she started again. "As I started to say, when I went to school I was still... me. You know how I am. I don't talk. I'm so shy I can't connect with others. I wanted to though. You know? Have friends and fun and all that, but I just didn't know how. So I found this way. It wasn't a good way. It was just a way. And I'm sorry. Really, I am. I know better. You raised me better... but..."

She glanced up at Ally, eyes pleading. Characteristically her voice wandered off. She was so weak and broken and sad she couldn't even tell her family this.

"You want me to tell them?" Ally said.

She nodded to Ally.