The School for Scandal Part 10

MOSES. Yes--and He himself hasn't the monies by him--but is forced to sell stock--at a great loss--

SIR OLIVER. He is forced to sell stock is he--at a great loss, is he--well that's very kind of him--

SIR PETER. Efaith, Sir Oliver--Mr. Premium I mean--you'll soon be master of the Trade--but, Moses would have him inquire if the borrower is a minor--

MOSES. O yes--

SIR PETER. And in that case his Conscience will direct him--

MOSES. To have the Bond in another Name to be sure.

SIR OLIVER. Well--well I shall be perfect--

SIR PETER. But hearkee wouldn't you have him also run out a little against the annuity Bill--that would be in character I should think--

MOSES. Very much--

ROWLEY. And lament that a young man now must be at years of discretion before He is suffered to ruin himself!

MOSES. Aye, great Pity!

SIR PETER. And abuse the Public for allowing merit to an act whose only object is to s.n.a.t.c.h misfortune and imprudence from the rapacious Relief of usury! and give the minor a chance of inheriting his estate without being undone by coming into Possession.

SIR OLIVER. So--so--Moses shall give me further instructions as we go together.

SIR PETER. You will not have much time[,] for your Nephew lives hard bye--

SIR OLIVER. Oh Never--fear[:] my Tutor appears so able that tho'

Charles lived in the next street it must be my own Fault if I am not a compleat Rogue before I turn the Corner-- [Exeunt SIR OLIVER and MOSES.]

SIR PETER. So--now I think Sir Oliver will be convinced--you shan't follow them Rowley. You are partial and would have prepared Charles for 'tother plot.

ROWLEY. No upon my word Sir Peter--

SIR PETER. Well, go bring me this Snake, and I'll hear what he has to say presently. I see Maria, and want to speak with her.-- [Exit ROWLEY.]

I should be glad to be convinced my suspicions of Lady Teazle and Charles were unjust--I have never yet opened my mind on this subject to my Friend Joseph. . . . I am determined. I will do it--He will give me his opinion sincerely.--

Enter MARIA

So Child--has Mr. Surface returned with you--

MARIA. No Sir--He was engaged.

SIR PETER. Well--Maria--do you not reflect[,] the more you converse with that amiable young man[,] what return his Partiality for you deserves?

MARIA. Indeed Sir Peter--your frequent importunity on this subject distresses me extremely--you compell me to Declare that I know no man who has ever paid me a particular Attention whom I would not prefer to Mr. Surface--

SIR PETER. Soh! Here's Perverseness--no--no--Maria, 'tis Charles only whom you would prefer--'tis evident his Vices and Follies have won your Heart.

MARIA. This is unkind Sir--You know I have obey'd you in neither seeing nor corresponding with him--I have heard enough to convince me that He is unworthy my regard--Yet I cannot think it culpable-- if while my understanding severely condemns his Vices, my Heart suggests some Pity for his Distresses.

SIR PETER. Well well pity him as much as you please, but give your Heart and Hand to a worthier object.

MARIA. Never to his Brother!

SIR PETER. Go--perverse and obstinate! but take care, Madam-- you have never yet known what the authority of a Guardian is-- don't compel me to inform you of it.--

MARIA. I can only say, you shall not have just Reason--'tis true, by my Father's will I am for a short period bound to regard you as his subst.i.tute, but I must cease to think you so when you would compel me to be miserable.

[Exit.]

SIR PETER. Was ever man so crossed as I am[?] everything conspiring to fret me! I had not been involved in matrimony a fortnight[,]

before her Father--a hale and hearty man, died on purpose, I believe-- for the Pleasure of plaguing me with the care of his Daughter . . .

but here comes my Helpmate!--She appears in great good humour---- how happy I should be if I could teaze her into loving me tho'

but a little----

Enter LADY TEAZLE

LADY TEAZLE. Lud! Sir Peter I hope you haven't been quarrelling with Maria? It isn't using me well to be ill humour'd when I am not bye--!

SIR PETER. Ah! Lady Teazle you might have the Power to make me good humour'd at all times--

LADY TEAZLE. I am sure--I wish I had--for I want you to be in a charming sweet temper at this moment--do be good humour'd now-- and let me have two hundred Pounds will you?

SIR PETER. Two hundred Pounds! what an't I to be in a good humour without paying for it--but speak to me thus--and Efaith there's nothing I could refuse you. You shall have it--but seal me a bond for the repayment.

LADY TEAZLE. O no--there--my Note of Hand will do as well--

SIR PETER. And you shall no longer reproach me with not giving you an independent settlement--I shall shortly surprise you--and you'll not call me ungenerous--but shall we always live thus--hey?

LADY TEAZLE. If you--please--I'm sure I don't care how soon we leave off quarrelling provided you'll own you were tired first--

SIR PETER. Well--then let our future contest be who shall be most obliging.

LADY TEAZLE. I a.s.sure you Sir Peter Good Nature becomes you-- you look now as you did before we were married--when you used to walk with me under the Elms, and tell me stories of what a Gallant you were in your youth--and chuck me under the chin you would--and ask me if I thought I could love an old Fellow who would deny me nothing--didn't you?

SIR PETER. Yes--yes--and you were as kind and attentive----

LADY TEAZLE. Aye so I was--and would always take your Part, when my acquaintance used to abuse you and turn you into ridicule--

SIR PETER. Indeed!

LADY TEAZLE. Aye--and when my cousin Sophy has called you a stiff peevish old batchelor and laugh'd at me for thinking of marrying one who might be my Father--I have always defended you--and said I didn't think you so ugly by any means, and that you'd make a very good sort of a husband--

SIR PETER. And you prophesied right--and we shall certainly now be the happiest couple----

LADY TEAZLE. And never differ again.

SIR PETER. No never--tho' at the same time indeed--my dear Lady Teazle--you must watch your Temper very narrowly--for in all our little Quarrels--my dear--if you recollect my Love you always began first--