The School for Scandal Part 20

SURFACE. Neither Brother I a.s.sure you.

CHARLES. But--what has made Sir Peter steal off--I thought He had been with you--

SURFACE. He WAS Brother--but hearing you were coming He didn't chuse to stay--

CHARLES. What[!] was the old Gentleman afraid I wanted to borrow money of him?

SURFACE. No Sir--but I am sorry to find[,] Charles--you have lately given that worthy man grounds for great Uneasiness.

CHARLES. Yes they tell me I do that to a great many worthy men-- but how so Pray?

SURFACE. To be plain with you Brother He thinks you are endeavouring to gain Lady Teazle's Affections from him.

CHARLES. Who I--O Lud! not I upon my word.--Ha! ha! ha! so the old Fellow has found out that He has got a young wife has He? or what's worse she has discover'd that she has an old Husband?

SURFACE. This is no subject to jest on Brother--He who can laugh----

CHARLES. True true as you were going to say--then seriously I never had the least idea of what you charge me with, upon my honour.

SURFACE. Well it will give Sir Peter great satisfaction to hear this.

CHARLES. [Aloud.] To be sure, I once thought the lady seemed to have taken a fancy--but upon my soul I never gave her the least encouragement.--Beside you know my Attachment to Maria--

SURFACE. But sure Brother even if Lady Teazle had betray'd the fondest Partiality for you----

CHARLES. Why--look'ee Joseph--I hope I shall never deliberately do a dishonourable Action--but if a pretty woman was purposely to throw herself in my way--and that pretty woman married to a man old enough to be her Father----

SURFACE. Well?

CHARLES. Why I believe I should be obliged to borrow a little of your Morality, that's all.--but, Brother do you know now that you surprize me exceedingly by naming me with Lady Teazle--for faith I always understood YOU were her Favourite--

SURFACE. O for shame--Charles--This retort is Foolish.

CHARLES. Nay I swear I have seen you exchange such significant Glances----

SURFACE. Nay--nay--Sir--this is no jest--

CHARLES. Egad--I'm serious--Don't you remember--one Day, when I called here----

SURFACE. Nay--prithee--Charles

CHARLES. And found you together----

SURFACE. Zounds, Sir--I insist----

CHARLES. And another time when your Servant----

SURFACE. Brother--brother a word with you--Gad I must stop him-- [Aside.]

CHARLES. Informed--me that----

SURFACE. Hus.h.!.+--I beg your Pardon but Sir Peter has overheard all we have been saying--I knew you would clear yourself, or I shouldn't have consented--

CHARLES. How Sir Peter--Where is He--

SURFACE. Softly, there! [Points to the closet.]

CHARLES. [In the Closet!] O 'fore Heaven I'll have him out-- Sir Peter come forth!

SURFACE. No--no----

CHARLES. I say Sir Peter--come into court.-- [Pulls in SIR PETER.]

What--my old Guardian--what[!] turn inquisitor and take evidence incog.--

SIR PETER. Give me your hand--Charles--I believe I have suspected you wrongfully; but you mustn't be angry with Joseph--'twas my Plan--

CHARLES. Indeed!--

SIR PETER. But I acquit you--I promise you I don't think near so ill of you as I did--what I have heard has given me great satisfaction.

CHARLES. Egad then 'twas lucky you didn't hear any more. Wasn't it Joseph?

SIR PETER. Ah! you would have retorted on him.

CHARLES. Aye--aye--that was a Joke.

SIR PETER. Yes, yes, I know his honor too well.

CHARLES. Yet you might as well have suspected him as me in this matter, for all that--mightn't He, Joseph?

SIR PETER. Well well I believe you--

SURFACE. Would they were both out of the Room!

Enter SERVANT, whispers SURFACE

SIR PETER. And in future perhaps we may not be such Strangers.

SURFACE. Gentlemen--I beg Pardon--I must wait on you downstairs-- Here is a Person come on particular Business----

CHARLES. Well you can see him in another Room--Sir Peter and I haven't met a long time and I have something to say [to] him.

SURFACE. They must not be left together.--I'll send this man away and return directly-- [SURFACE goes out.]

SIR PETER. Ah--Charles if you a.s.sociated more with your Brother, one might indeed hope for your reformation--He is a man of Sentiment-- Well! there is nothing in the world so n.o.ble as a man of Sentiment!

CHARLES. Pshaw! He is too moral by half--and so apprehensive of his good Name, as he calls it, that I suppose He would as soon let a Priest in his House as a Girl--