Gryll Grange Part 25

_Mr. Falconer._ Do you not think she could recall him to his first ardour if she exerted all her fascinations for the purpose?

_Miss Nipket._ It may be so. I do not think she will try. (_She added, to herself_:) I do not think she would succeed.

Mr. Falconer did not feel sure she would not try: he thought he saw symptoms of her already doing so. In his opinion Morgana was, and must be, irresistible. But as he had thought his fair neighbour somewhat interested in the subject, he wondered at the apparent impa.s.siveness with which she replied to his questions.

In the meantime he found, as he had often done before, that the more his mind was troubled, the more Madeira he could drink without disordering his head.

CHAPTER XXVII

LOVE IN MEMORY

Il faut avoir aime une fois en sa vie, non pour le moment ou l'on aime, car on n'eprouve alors que des tourmens, des regrets, de la jalousie: mais peu a peu ces tourmens-la deviennent des souvenirs, qui charment notre arriere saison:... et quand vous verrez la vieillesse douce, facile et tolerante, vous pourrez dire comme Fontenelle: L'amour a pa.s.se par-la.

--Scribe: La Vieille.

Miss Gryll carefully avoided being alone with Mr. Falconer, in order not to give him an opportunity of speaking on the forbidden subject. She was confident that she had taken the only course which promised to relieve her from a life of intolerable suspense; but she wished to subject her conduct to dispa.s.sionate opinion, and she thought she could not submit it to a more calmly-judging person than her old spinster friend, Miss Ilex, who had, moreover, the great advantage of being a woman of the world. She therefore took an early opportunity of telling her what had pa.s.sed between herself and Mr. Falconer, and asking her judgment on the point.

_Miss Ilex._ Why, my dear, if I thought there had been the slightest chance of his ever knowing his own mind sufficiently to come to the desired conclusion himself, I should have advised your giving him a little longer time; but as it is clear to me that he never would have done so, and as you are decidedly partial to him, I think you have taken the best course which was open to you. He had all but declared to you more than once before; but this 'all but' would have continued, and you would have sacrificed your life to him for nothing.

_Miss Gryll._ But do you think you would in my case have done as I did?

_Miss Ilex._ No, my dear, I certainly should not; for, in a case very similar, I did not. It does not follow that I was right. On the contrary, I think you are right, and I was wrong. You have shown true moral courage where it was most needed.

_Miss Gryll._ 1 hope I have not revived any displeasing recollections.

_Miss Ilex._ No, my dear, no; the recollections are not displeasing.

The day-dreams of youth, however fallacious, are a composite of pain and pleasure: for the sake of the latter the former is endured, nay, even cherished in memory.

_Miss Gryll._ Hearing what I hear you were, seeing what I see you are, observing your invariable cheerfulness, I should not have thought it possible that you could have been crossed in love, as your words seem to imply.

_Miss Ilex._ I was, my dear, and have been foolish enough to be constant all my life to a single idea; and yet I would not part with this shadow for any attainable reality.

[Ill.u.s.tration: Constant all my life to a single idea 250-208]

_Miss Gryll._ If it were not opening the fountain of an ancient sorrow, I could wish to know the story, not from idle curiosity, but from my interest in you.

_Miss Ilex._ Indeed, my dear Morgana, it is very little of a story: but such as it is, I am willing to tell it you. I had the credit of being handsome and accomplished. I had several lovers; but my inner thoughts distinguished only one; and he, I think, had a decided preference for me, but it was a preference of present impression. If some Genius had commanded him to choose a wife from any company of which I was one, he would, I feel sure, have chosen me; but he was very much of an universal lover, and was always overcome by the smiles of present beauty. He was of a romantic turn of mind: he disliked and avoided the ordinary pursuits of young men: he delighted in the society of accomplished young women, and in that alone. It was the single link between him and the world. He would disappear for weeks at a time, wandering in forests, climbing mountains, and descending into the dingles of mountain-streams, with no other companion than a Newfoundland dog; a large black dog, with a white breast, four white paws, and a white tip to his tail: a beautiful affectionate dog: I often patted him on the head, and fed him with my hand. He knew me as well as Bajardo{1} knew Angelica.

1 Rinaldo's horse: he had escaped from his master, and had revelled Sacripante with his heels:--

Tears started into her eyes at the recollection of the dog. She paused for a moment.

_Miss Gryll._ I see the remembrance is painful Do not proceed.

_Miss Ilex._ No, my dear. I would not, if I could, forget that dog.

Well, my young gentleman, as I have said, was a sort of universal lover, and made a sort of half-declaration to half the young women he knew: sincerely for the moment to all: but with more permanent earnestness, more constant return, to me than to any other. If I had met him with equal earnestness, if I could have said or implied to him in any way, 'Take me while you may, or think of me no more,' I am persuaded I should not now write myself spinster. But I wrapped myself up in reserve. I thought it fitting that all advances should come from him: that I should at most show nothing more than willingness to hear, not even the semblance of anxiety to receive them. So nothing came of our love but remembrance and regret. Another girl, whom I am sure he loved less, but who understood him better, acted towards him as I ought to have done, and became his wife. Therefore, my dear, I applaud your moral courage, and regret that I had it not when the occasion required it.

_Miss Gryll._ My lover, if I may so call him, differs from yours in this: that he is not wandering in his habits, nor versatile in his affections.

_Miss Ilex._ The peculiar system of domestic affection in which he was brought up, and which his maturer years have confirmed, presents a greater obstacle to you than any which my lover's versatility presented to me, if I had known how to deal with it.

_Miss Gryll._ But how was it, that, having so many admirers as you must have had, you still remained single?

_Miss Ilex._ Because I had fixed my heart on one who was not like any one else. If he had been one of a cla.s.s, such as most persons in this world are, I might have replaced the first idea by another; but his soul was like a star, and dwelt apart.

....Indi va mansueto alia donzella, Con umile sembiante e gesto umano: Come intorno al padrone il can saltella, Che sia due giorni o tre stato lontano.

Bajardo ancora avea memoria d' ella, Che in Albracca il servia gia di sua mano.

--Orlando Furioso, c. i. s. 75.

_Miss Gryll._ A very erratic star, apparently. A comet, rather.

_Miss Ilex._ No, For the qualities which he loved and admired in the object of his temporary affection existed more in his imagination than in her. She was only the framework of the picture of his fancy. He was true to his idea, though not to the exterior semblance on which he appended it, and to or from which he so readily transferred it.

Unhappily for myself, he was more of a reality to me than I was to him.

_Miss Gryll._ His marriage could scarcely have been a happy one. Did you ever meet him again?

_Miss Ilex._ Not of late years, but for a time occasionally in general society, which he very sparingly entered. Our intercourse was friendly; but he never knew, never imagined, how well I loved him, nor even, perhaps, that I had loved him at all. I had kept my secret only too well He retained his wandering habits, disappearing from time to time, but always returning home, I believe he had no cause to complain of his wife. Yet I cannot help thinking that I could have fixed him and kept him at home. Your case is in many respects similar to mine; but the rivalry to me was in a wandering fancy: to you it is in fixed domestic affections. Still, you were in as much danger as I was of being the victim of an idea and a punctilio: and you have taken the only course to save you from it. I regret that I gave in to the punctilio: but I would not part with the idea. I find a charm in the recollection far preferable to

The waveless calm, the slumber of the dead which weighs on the minds of those who have never loved, or never earnestly.

CHAPTER XXVIII

ARISTOPHANES IN LONDON

Non duco contentionis funern, dum constet inter nos, quod fere totus mundus exerceat histrioniam.--Petronius Arbiter.

I do not draw the rope of contention,{1} while it is agreed amongst us, that almost the whole world practises acting.

1 A metaphor apparently taken from persons pulling in opposite directions at each end of a rope. I cannot see, as some have done, that it has anything in common with Horace's _Tortum digna sequi potius quant ducere funern_: 'More worthy to follow than to lead the tightened cord': which is a metaphor taken from a towing line, or any line acting in a similar manner, where one draws and another is drawn. Horace applies it to money, which he says should be the slave, and not the master of its possessor.

All the world's a stage.--Shakespeare.

En el teatro del mundo Todos son representantes.--Calderon.

Tous les comediens ne sont pas au theatre.

--_French Proverb._

Rain came, and thaw, followed by drying wind. The roads were in good order for the visitors to the Aristophanic comedy. The fifth day of Christmas was fixed for the performance. The theatre was brilliantly lighted, with spermaceti candles in gla.s.s chandeliers for the audience, and argand lamps for the stage. In addition to Mr. Gryll's own houseful of company, the beauty and fas.h.i.+on of the surrounding country, which comprised an extensive circle, adorned the semicircular seats; which, however, were not mere stone benches, but were backed, armed, and padded into comfortable stalls. Lord Curryfin was in his glory, in the capacity of stage-manager.

The curtain rising, as there was no necessity for its being made to fall,{1} discovered the scene, which was on the London bank of the Thames, on the terrace of a mansion occupied by the Spirit-rapping Society, with an archway in the centre of the building, showing a street in the background. Gryllus was lying asleep. Circe, standing over him, began the dialogue.

1 The Athenian theatre was open to the sky, and if the curtain had been made to fall it would have been folded up in mid air, destroying the effect of the scene. Being raised from below, it was invisible when not in use.