Jacob Faithful Part 17

"Foot it _rather too much_ that time, father," said young Tom, getting up the first, and laughing. "Come, Jacob, let's put father on his pins again; he can't rise without a purchase." With some difficulty, we succeeded. As soon as he was on his legs again, old Tom put a hand upon each of our shoulders, and commenced, with a drunken leer--

"What though his timbers they are gone, And he's a slave to tipple, No better sailor e'er was born Than Tom, the jovial cripple.

"Thanky, my boys, thanky; now rouse up the old gentleman. I suspect we knocked the wind out of him. Hollo, there, are you hard and fast?"

"The bricks are hard, and verily my senses are fast departing," quoth the Dominie, rousing himself, and sitting up, staring around him.

"Senses going, do you say, master?" cried old Tom. "Don't throw them overboard till we have made a finish. One more pannikin apiece, one more song, and then to bed. Tom, where's the bottle?"

"Drink no more, sir, I beg; you'll be ill to-morrow," said I to the Dominie.

"_Deprome quadrimum_," hiccuped the Dominie. "_Carpe diem--quam minimum--creula postero._--Sing, friend Dux--_Quem virum--sumes celebrare--music amicus_.--Where's my pattypan?--We are not Thracians--_Natis in usum--laet.i.tae scyphis pugnare_--(hiccup)--_Thrac.u.m est_--therefore we--will not fight--but we will drink--_recepto dulce mihi furere est amico_--Jacob, thou art drunk--sing, friend Dux, or shall I sing?

"_Propria quae maribus_ had a little dog, _Quae genus_ was his name--

"My memory faileth me--what was the tune?"

"That tune was the one the old cow died of, I'm sure," replied Tom.

"Come, old Nosey, strike up again."

"Nosey, from _nasus_--truly, it is a fair epithet; and it remindeth me that my nose--suffered in the fall which I received just now. Yet I cannot sing--having no words--"

"Nor tune, either, master," replied old Tom; "so here goes for you--

"Young Susan had lovers, so many that she Hardly knew upon which to decide; They all spoke sincerely, and promised to be All worthy of such a sweet bride.

In the morning she'd gossip with William, and then The noon will be spent with young Harry, The evening with Tom; so, amongst all the men, She never could tell which to marry.

Heigho! I am afraid Too many lovers will puzzle a maid.

"It pleaseth me--it ringeth in mine ears--yea, most pleasantly.

Proceed,--the girl was as the Pyrrha of Horace--

"Quis multa gracillis--te puer in rosa-- Perfusis liquidis urgit odoribus.

Grate, Pyrrha--sub antro?"

"That's all high Dutch to me, master; but I'll go on if I can. My memory box be a little out of order. Let me see--oh!

"Now William grew jealous, and so went away; Harry got tired of wooing; And Tom having teased her to fix on the day, Received but a frown for so doing; So, 'mongst all her lovers, quite left in the lurch, She pined every night on her pillow; And meeting one day a pair going to church, Turned away, and died under a willow.

Heigho! I am afraid Too many lovers will puzzle a maid.

"Now, then, old gentleman, tip off your grog. You've got your allowance, as I promised you."

"Come, master, you're a cup too low," said Tom, who, although in high spirits, was not at all intoxicated; indeed, as I afterwards found, he could carry more than his father. "Come, shall I give you a song?"

"That's right, Tom; a volunteer's worth two pressed men. Open your mouth wide, an' let your whistle fly away with the gale. You whistles in tune, at all events."

Tom then struck up, the Dominie see-sawing as he sat, and getting very sleepy--

"Luck in life, or good or bad, Ne'er could make me melancholy; Seldom rich, yet never sad, Sometimes poor, yet always jolly.

Fortune's in my scale, that's poz, Of mischance put more than half in; Yet I don't know how it was, I could never cry for laughing-- Ha! ha! ha! Ha! ha! ha!

I could never cry for laughing.

"Now for chorus, father--

"Ha! ha! ha! Ha! ha! ha!

I could never cry for laughing.

"That's all I know; and that's enough, for it won't wake up the old gentleman."

But it did. "Ha, ha, ha--ha, ha, ha! I could never die for laughing,"

bawled out the Dominie, feeling for his pannikin; but this was his last effort. He stared round him. "Verily, verily, we are in a whirlpool-- how everything turneth round and round! Who cares? Am I not an ancient mariner--'_Qui videt mare turgidum--et infames scopulos_.' Friend Dux, listen to me--_favet linguis_."

"Well," hiccuped old Tom, "so I will--but speak--plain English--as I do."

"That I'll be hanged if he does," said Tom to me. "In half an hour more I shall understand old Nosey's Latin just as well as his--plain English, as he calls it."

"I will discuss in any language--that is--in any tongue--be it in the Greek or the Latin--nay, even--(hiccups)--friend Dux--hast thou not partaken too freely--of--dear me! _Quo me, Bacche, rapis tui--plenum_-- truly I shall be tipsy--and will but finish my pattypan--_dulce periculum est_--Jacob--can there be two Jacobs?--and two old Toms?-- nay--_mirabile dictu_--there are two young Toms, and two dog Tommies-- each with--two tails. _Bacche, parce--precor--precor_--Jacob, where art thou?--_Ego sum tu es_--thou art--_sumus_, we are--where am I?

_Proc.u.mbit humi bos_--for Bos--read Dobbs--_amo, amas_--I loved a la.s.s.

_t.i.tyre, tu patulae sub teg-mine_--nay--I quote wrong--then must I be--I do believe that--I'm drunk."

"And I'm c.o.c.k sure of it," cried Tom, laughing, as the Dominie fell back in a state of insensibility.

"And I'm c.o.c.k sure of it," said old Tom, rolling himself along the deck to the cabin hatch "that I've as much--as I can stagger--under, at all events--so I'll sing myself to sleep--'cause why--I'm happy. Jacob-- mind you keep all the watches to-night--and Tom may keep the rest." Old Tom then sat up, leaning his back against the cabin hatch, and commenced one of those doleful ditties which are sometimes heard on the forecastle of a man-of-war; he had one or two of the songs that he always reserved for such occasions. While Tom and I dragged the Dominie to bed, old Tom drawled out his ditty--

"Oh! we sailed to Virgi-ni-a, and thence to Fy-al, Where we water'd our s.h.i.+pping, and so then weigh-ed all, Full in view, on the seas--boys--seven sail we did es-py, O! we man-ned our capstern, and weighed spee-di-ly.

"That's right, my boys, haul and hold--stow the old Dictionary away--for he can't command the parts of speech.

"The very next morning--the engagement proved--hot, And brave Admiral Benbow received a chain-shot.

O when he was wounded to his merry men--he--did--say, Take me up in your arms, boys, and car-ry me a-way.

"Now, boys, come and help me--Tom--none of your foolery--for your poor old father is--drunk--."

We a.s.sisted old Tom into the other "bed-place" in the cabin. "Thanky, lads--one little bit more, and then I'm done--as the auctioneer says-- going--going--

"O the guns they did rattle, and the bul-lets--did--fly, When brave Benbow--for help loud--did cry, Carry me down to the c.o.c.k-pit--there is ease for my smarts, If my merry men should see me--'twill sure--break--their--hearts.

"Going,--old swan-hopper--as I am--going--gone."

Tom and I were left on deck.

"Now, Jacob, if you have a mind to turn in. I'm not sleepy--you shall keep the morning watch."

"No, Tom, you'd better sleep first. I'll call you at four o'clock. We can't weigh till tide serves; and I shall have plenty of sleep before that."

Tom went to bed, and I walked the deck till the morning, thinking over the events of the day, and wondering what the Dominie would say when he came to his senses. At four o'clock, as agreed, I roused Tom out, and turned into his bed, and was soon as fast asleep as old Tom and the Dominie, whose responsive snores had rung in my ears during the whole time that I had walked the deck.