Essays on the Stage Part 1

Essays on the Stage.

by Thomas D'Urfey and Bossuet.

Introduction

The three parts of D'Urfey's "The Comical History of Don Quixote" were performed between 1694 and (probably) the end of 1696. Some of the songs included were conspicuously "s.m.u.tty"--to use a word which D'Urfey ridiculed--but the fact that the plays were fresh in the public mind was probably the most effective reason for Jeremy Collier's decision to include the not very highly respected author among the still living playwrights to be singled out for attack in "A Short View of the Immorality and Profaneness of the English Stage", which appeared at Easter time 1698. In July of the same year D'Urfey replied with the preface to his "s.m.u.tty" play "The Campaigners". It is this preface which is given as the first item of the present reprint.

Pope's contemptuous prologue, written many years later and apparently for a benefit performance of one of D'Urfey's plays, is sufficient evidence that the playwright was not highly regarded; but he was reputed to be a good natured man and, by the standards of the time, his twitting of Collier--whom he accused of having a better nose for s.m.u.t than a clergyman should have--is not conspicuously vituperative. Even his attack on the political character of the notorious Non-Juror is bitter without being really scurrilous. But like his betters Congreve and Vanbrugh, D'Urfey both missed the opportunity to grapple with the real issues of the controversy and misjudged the temper of the public. Had that public been, as all the playwrights seem to have a.s.sumed, ready to side with them against Collier, there might have been some justification in resting content as he and Congreve did with the scoring of a few debater's points. But the public, even "the town", was less interested in mere sally and rejoinder than it was in the serious question of the relation of comedy to morality, and hence Collier was allowed to win the victory almost by default.

Collier's own argument was either confused or deliberately disingenuous, since he s.h.i.+fts his ground several times. On occasion he argues merely in the role of a moderate man who is shocked by the extravagances of the playwrights, and on other occasions as an ascetic to whom all worldly diversion, however innocent of any obvious offence, is wicked. At one time, moreover, he accuses the playwrights of recommending the vices which they should satirize and at other times denies that even the most sincere satiric intention can justify the lively representation of wickedness. But none of his opponents actually seized the opportunity to completely clarify the issues. Vanbrugh, it is true, makes some real points in his "A Short Vindication of The Relapse and The Provok'd Wife", and John Dennis, in his heavy handed way, showed some realization of what the issues were both in "The Usefulness of the Stage to the Happiness of Mankind, to Government and to Religion" (1698) and, much later, In "The Stage Defended" (1726). But, Vanbrugh is casual, Dennis is slow witted, and it is only by comparison with the triviality of D'Urfey or the contemptuous disingenuity of Congreve's "Amendments of Mr. Collier's False and Imperfect Citations" (1698) that they seem effective.

At least forty books and pamphlets published between 1698 and 1725 are definitely part of the Collier controversy, but the fact that none of them really discusses adequately fundamental premises concerning the nature, method, and function of comedy had serious consequences for the English stage. The situation was further complicated by the rise of sentimental comedy and the fact that the theories supposed to justify it were expounded with all the completeness and clarity which were so conspicuously lacking in the case of those who undertook halfheartedly to defend what we call "high" or "pure", as opposed to both sentimental and satiric comedy. Steele's epilogue to "The Lying Lover", which versified Hobbes' comments on laughter and then rejected laughter itself as unworthy of a refined human being, is a triumphant epitaph inscribed over the grave of the comic spirit.

The second item included in the present reprint, namely the anonymous preface to a translation of Bossuet's "Maxims and Reflections Upon Plays", belongs to a different phase of the Collier controversy. It serves as an ill.u.s.tration of the fact that Collier was soon joined by men who were, somewhat more frankly than he had himself admitted he was, open enemies of the stage as such. He had begun with arguments supported by citations from literary critics and he called in the support of ascetic religious writers after his discourse was well under way. But the direct approach by way of religion was soon taken up by others, of whom Arthur Bedford was probably the most redoubtable as he was certainly the most long winded, since his "Evil and Danger of Stage Plays" (1706) crowds into its two hundred and twenty-seven pages some two thousand instances of alleged profaneness and immorality with specific references to the texts of scripture which condemn each one.

But Bedford had not been the first to treat the issue as one to be decoded by theologians rather than playwrights or critics. Somewhat unwisely, perhaps, Motteux had printed before his comedy "Beauty in Distress" a discourse "Of the Lawfulness and Unlawfulness of Plays"

(1698), written by the Italian monk Father Caffaro, who was professor of divinity at the Sorbonne. Unfortunately Caffaro had, some years before this English translation appeared, already retracted his mild opinion that stage plays were not, _per se_, unlawful, and it was possible not only to cite his retraction but also to offer the opinions of the Bishop of Meux, who was better known to English readers than Father Caffaro.

The anonymous author of the preface to "Maxims and Reflections"

grants that dramatic poetry might, under certain circ.u.mstances, be theoretically permissible, but rather more frankly than Collier he makes it clear that his real intention is to urge the outlawing of the theater itself, since all efforts to reform it are foredoomed to failure. "But if", he writes, "the Reformation of the Stage be no longer practicable, reason good that the incurable Evil should be cut off". That lets the cat out of the bag.

Both pieces reprinted here are from copies owned by the University of Michigan.

Joseph Wood Krutch Columbia University

PREFACE.

I Must necessarily inform the Partial, as well as Impartial Reader, that I had once design'd another kind of Preface to my Comedy than what will appear in the following sheets; but having in the interim been entertain'd with a Book lately Printed, full of Abuses on all our Antient as well as Modern Poets, call'd _A view of the Immorality and Prophaness of the English Stage_; and finding the Author, who, no doubt, extreamly values himself upon his Talent of _Stage-reforming_, not only (to use his own Ironical words) _particular in his Genius and Civilities_, but indecently, unmanner'd, and scurrilous in his unjust Remarks on me, and two of my Plays, _viz._ the first and second parts of the _Comical History of_ Don Quixote. [Footnote: Collier, p. 196.]

I thought I cou'd not do better, first as a Diversion to the Town, and next to do a little Iustice to my self, than (instead of the other) to print a short Answer to this very Severe and Critical Gentleman; and at the same time give him occasion to descant upon the following Comick Papers, and my self the opportunity of vindicating the other; with some familiar Returns (_en Raillere_) upon his own Extraordinary _Integrity_, and Justness of the _Censure_.

But first, lest I should plunge my self out of my depth, or like an unskilful Swimmer, endanger my self by a too precipitate Rashness, let me warily consider the Office and Habit of this unchristianlike Critick before I Attack him: He has, or had the honour to wear the Robe of a Clergyman of the Church of _England_: A Church, which for its Purity, Principles, and most Incomparable Doctrines, surpa.s.ses without objection all others in the world, which with a number of its pious, virtuous and learned Rulers and Ministers, I admire and acknowledge with all the faculties of my soul, heart and understanding; and on which I never seriously reflect, but I feel a secret shame for my remissness of duty, and my neglect, in not living hitherto up to its Admirable Principles.

This reflection would indeed have been enough to awe any one in my circ.u.mstances from proceeding to answer his bold Censures, had I not Courage to consider that the rest of the worthy Gentlemen of that Robe are so good, that they will not excuse or defend our aforesaid Critick's Injustice or Mistakes in some places, tho they are pleas'd with his Truths in others; or be angry at me for endeavouring to gain their good opinion, by defending my self from most of his black Aspersions (how fair soever as yet they seem) and by unfolding him be judg'd by their impartial reason, start a question, whither he, tho a happy member of the aforesaid Adorable Church, does not come in for his share of _Immorality_, and other frailties; and consequently is not as fit to be detected, by the Wit of a Satyrical Poet; as the Poet by the positive Authority of an Angry Malecontent, tho in the garb of an humble Churchman.

The _Vates_, or Poets in antient times were held in special veneration, even their Kings, and other chief Rulers, often submitted to the virtue of their Inspiration: Amongst which, the never enough admir'd Mr _Cowley_, in his n.o.ble version of the _Davideidos_, gives the _Royal David_ this t.i.tle, _Rex olim & Vates duo Maxima munera Coeli_; and numbers of others might be inserted to prove Poetical Authority, and the respect it bore in past Ages; which, tho I have not capacity to parallel, I hope I may be allow'd to imitate on another subject; and in this have leave to acquit my self of several heinous Accusations, which this Tyrannical Critick has Impos'd upon me.

I am not at all Ignorant of his eminent parts, Learning, and other qualifications; nor am I insensible, as well as the rest of his Readers, that his Book has a very fair and engaging t.i.tle-page, and is no less Ill.u.s.trated with many weighty and just censures upon the _Immorality of the Stage_, and our licentious Writings for many years past; and tho this has been proved by the late Ingenious Author of _the Vindication of the Stage_ to be occasion'd by the vices of the Times, and not those of the Poets; yet thus for we can endure the Scourge, and kiss his Rod with patience enough: And for my own part, I declare if I had found his Severity had been moral, and had ended in the good design of cleansing the Stage from its Impurities, and had been only a kind Instruction to my Brethren and my self, to reform our Immoral errors, I had, as the rest of us, with all humility imaginable, thank'd him for his wit and good reproof; and had been so far from answering in this manner, that I should have been proud to have my name before his Book, with a Copy of Verses in applause of his Admirable Design. But when, instead of this, I find he strikes at the root of our Dramatick Labours, and the Town's diversion, for some sly and selfish ends; and instead of reproving us with a Pastorly Mildness, Charity and Good Nature, gives us the basest language, and with the most scurillous expression, sometimes raging and even foaming at mouth, taxing the little liberty has always been us'd, with horrid horrid Blasphemy, Prophaneness, and d.a.m.nable Impiety; when Reason must inform every one we intend nothing of the matter, besides the poor priviledge _Poetica Licentia_: and pretending to prove this with false Quotations, unnatural Mistakes, and Hypocritical Hypotheses, I resolv'd to controvert him, and endeavour to prove that 'tis meerly his malice that has abus'd me and the rest, without Reason or Provocation; and that his own Wit and Morals are not so Infallible, but they lye also open to the censure of any Poetical Critick, who has Courage and Sense enough to attack 'em.

I once more therefore address my self to the Reverend of the Gown, from highest to the lowest, and humbly desire that they will not appear Interested against me, because I defend myself against one that has abus'd me, and has the honour to wear one, (to what purpose the Judgment and Clemency of our Government knows best) I a.s.sure 'em my design is only to turn, like the Worm that is trod upon, complain being hurt, vindicate my self from abusive malice, and at the same time am heartily sorry that ever I had the occasion.

'Tis a pleasure to me however to know that I have for many years, as well as now, the honour of the Conversation of several eminent men of the Church; and I dare say, upon occasion, I could easily gain their good words to prove my good behaviour. I do declare I never abus'd the sacred order in my life, but have always had, and still have, all the veneration for 'em that's possible; nor have any of my printed Writings contradicted this, unless when spoken in the person of Atheists, Libertines, and Ignorants, where 'tis natural in Comedy; nay, in my Book of Poems you will find a _Satyr against Atheists_, and in another Book, call'd _Colin's walk thro' London and Westminster_, a Moral through the whole, and design'd in the honour of the Church of _England_, to shew the stubbornness of _Romanists_, Grumblers, and other dissenting Sects; but this my partial Antagonist never read, nor heard of; nay, tho by his Book we may suppose he has read a thousand, yet amongst twenty of my Comedies Acted and Printed, he never heard of the _Royalist_, the _Boarding School_, the _Marriage Hater Match'd_, the _Richmond Heiress_, the _Virtuous Wife_, and others, all whose whole Plots and designs I dare affirm, tend to that princ.i.p.al instance, which he proposes, and which we allow, _viz._ the depression of Vice and encouragement of Virtue. Not he, he has not had leisure since his last _holding forth in the late Reign_, to do me this Justice, 'tis enough for him that he has encounter'd _Don Quixot_. [Footnote: Collier, p.] And truly, I must own, was a most proper Combatant for him; for if he had not been mad with the Wind-mill that was in his pate, or had ever perus'd that _Giant_ of an Author, upon whom I am the _Pigmy_, as he wittily observes, he would have found the Bockheaded Chaplain had been greazing his old Ga.s.sock there long before I new rigg'd him: But that's all one, I, poor I, must be denounc'd as Criminal; I brought him upon the Stage, I wash'd his Face, put on a new c.r.a.pe Vest, and a clean Band, which, oh, fatal accident, made him look so like somebody, that I, in his opinion, and condemn'd by his infallibility, have been no body ever since, _vox & praeterea nihil_. Well, however this is determin'd, let me beg of my impartial Readers, to give me leave to try what I can be, I have had good fortune I am told by others in Lyrical Verse, which I am sure is one princ.i.p.al part of Poetry, I'll see now if I can match my Antagonist in Rallying Prose. Several ingenious Authors have already, I think, so well confuted his a.s.sertions against the Stage, by proofs from the Antient Poets, the Primitive Fathers, and their Authorities, that they have far excell'd what I can pretend to do there; only, I could have wish'd one who is best able, and whose admirable Genius and Skill in Poetry would have been remarkably serviceable, had drawn his Pen to defend the Rights of the Stage, tho he had own'd the loosenesses of it, and had ventured the being presented for it; but since we, the forlorn, are not so happy to have that Aid, let my Antagonist, the Reformer, who, for all the gravity in some part of his Book, and the solid Piety he would insinuate in his Arguments, I perceive to be a Joker, and as full of Puns, Conundrums, Quibbles, Longinquipet.i.tes, and Tipiti-witchets, as the rest of us mortals, be pleas'd to take the length of my Weapon at that sport, for now I cannot help telling my Audience, which is the Town, that he has laid his reforming Cudgel upon me so severely, and it smarts so d.a.m.nably, that I can't forbear smiting again if I were to be hang'd, desiring only, as the usual method is, a clear Stage, and from him no favour.

To begin then, I shall ill.u.s.trate my first Scene with a comical hint upon some part of his Character; and that the Jest may be worthy of making you laugh, you are to know, that the first view I ever had of this extraordinary Person, was neither better nor worse than under the _Gallows_. Well, but think you, I warrant, 'twas about some Charitable Duty that his sacred Function and Piety oblig'd him to, such as Exhorting the poor Souls to confess their Crimes, in order to be sav'd, or the like; no, faith, but quite contrary, for he was rather hardning them, and infusing a strong Portion of his own obstinacy, to fortifie 'em for their dubious Journey; and in few minutes after, possess'd with a stronger Spirit of Priesthood than e'er, for some past Ages there has been Example for, p.r.o.nounc'd the _Absolution_, the extremest and most mysterious Grace the Church can possibly give to the most repentant Sinner, to wretches Justly condemn'd by Law to die, for the most horrible Crimes in nature, _viz._ the intended Murder of the King, and Subversion of the Protestant Religion and Government. Now that such a Person should set up for a Protestant Example, and a Teacher of Morality, is somewhat new, for upon my veracity, this Gentleman may insinuate as he pleases, that our Church, and its Doctrines govern his heart; but as to that matter what may be in his heart I can't tell, but if a Pope is not crept into his belly, very near it, I am very much mistaken.

_Pliny_ indeed, in his Natural History, _Lib._ 28, _Cap._ 10. tells ye, He that is bitten by a Scorpion may have relief, if immediately he go and whisper his grief into the Ear of an a.s.s. This Historian, perhaps, had so great credit with these Malefactors that they thought the remedy, by Auricular Confession, might serve too in their Concerns. But we are confirm'd, they were enough mistaken in the rest of their Opinions, and so 'tis very likely were in this. If this Parallel be found a little gross, I hope the Reader will excuse it, when he examines the bold Critick's Stile relating to the Poets. Besides, how wise soever he may be in other things, I'm sure all those that are so, and true Sons of the Church, when they reflect on that Action of his, will own that he deserves that, or a worse t.i.tle. And so to proceed.

But before we inspect further, or touch upon the Moralist's Immorality, for I dare ingage it is not altogether impossible to prove, the _Pulpiteer_ may be tainted a little as well as the _Poetaster_, let us see whether we can find him guilty of the first Charge against us, which is _Immodesty_; and upon this subject indeed, if our Learn'd Reformer did not impose upon us with a Fallacy, I should (to shew my good Nature walk hand in hand with my resentment) once more admire him for his Character of Modesty in the 11th page of his Book, which is, to do him Justice, very fine; but then he only tells us of one kind of Modesty, when he knows there are two, and therein he is Falacious, in not exposing the other, which is decency of Speech and Behaviour; and truly, meerly, I believe, through a conscious reflection of his own frequent miscarriages in that case. If therefore, these Papers differ a little from that Civility which is proper, I beg the Readers pardon, and a.s.sure him 'tis only in imitation of his Stile to me, as all those that read his Book may find.

For, in the first place, he does not shew his own, nor, indeed, any part of decent modesty, in exposing any Gentlemans Name in print, when the subject matter is Satyr, Reflection, Scandal, _&c._ and in which case I believe the Law might do Justice, if apply'd to; but if not, I am sure good Manners, and civil Education, ought to tie the Ca.s.sock as close as the Sash or Sursingle; but this our Divine helper, most Bully-like, disallows; for he, puff'd with his Priestly Authority, calls us boldly to the Bar of his Injustice by our own Names, the same minute that he is roaringly accusing us of Blasphemy, s.m.u.ttery, Foolery, and a thousand Monstrosities besides, as he'd make you believe; unless for variety, he picks out one amongst the rest, now and then, to abuse a little more civilly, and then, rubbing up his old College Wit, he Nicknames 'em, as you may find elegantly made out at the latter end of his Book, (for he shall see that I have read it quite through, and can hop over pages as fast as he for the life of him) where he can find no other Name or Character for two Gentlemen of Honour and Merit, _viz._ Mr.

_Congreve_ and Captain _Vanbrooke_, who have written several excellent Plays, and who are only scandalous to our Critick, by being good Poets, yet these he can give no other Names or Characters, but what are Abusive and Ridiculous. [Footnote: Collier, p. 74] The first, for only making _Jeremy_, in _Love for Love_, call the Natural inclinations to eating and drinking, _Whorson Appet.i.tes_, he tells, That the _Manicheans, who made Creation the Work of the Devil, scarcely spoke any thing so course_. And then very modestly proceeding onwards says, _The Poet was _Jeremy_'s Tutor_. The t'other Gentleman he dignifies by a new Coin'd name of his own, _viz._ _The Relapser_, and much like an humble Son of the Church, a Man of Morals and Manners tells us, _This Poet is fit to Ride a Match with Witches: And, that _Juliana c.o.x_ (_a Non-juring Hag, I suppose, of his Acquaintance_) never switch'd a Broom-stick with more expedition._ [Footnote: Collier, p. 230.] Faith, such sentences as these, may be taking enough amongst his Party; but if this be his way of Reproving the Stage, and Teaching the Town Modesty, he will have fewer Pupils, I believe, than he imagines.

But to do that Gentleman Broom-stick Rider some Justice, and because we shall want a Name hereafter to Christen the t'other, as he has given the Name of _Relapser_, so I think that of the _Absolver_ will be a very proper one to distinguish our Switcher, by which the Reader may observe, that we are civiller to him than he to us however. And first then, I desire all Persons to observe, that in other places of the same Chapter of his Book, our _Absolver_, for all his detestation of the Stage, and of Poetry in general, yet takes a huge deal of pains in taking to pieces, and mending the Comedy of the _Relapse_; nay, and to shew how transcendent his own Skill in these things is, he has help'd the Author to a better Name for his Play, and says, _The Younger Brother_, or, _The Fortunate Cheat_, had been much properer. [Footnote: Collier, p. 210.]

This shews some good will he has to the Comick Trade however; and I doubt not, but if his Closet were Ransack'd, we might find a divertive Scene or two, effects of his idle Non-preaching hours, where Modesty, Wit, and good Behaviour, would be shewn in perfection.

And yet, as to his own humour, we find it to be, by his Book, more fickle than even the Wind, or Feminine frailty in its highest Inconstancy. One while he's for Instructing our Stage, Modelling our Plays, Correcting the Drama, the Unity, Time and Place, and acts as very a Poet as ever writ an ill Play, or slept at an ill Sermon; and then, presently after, wheiw, in the twinkling of an Ejaculution, as Parson _Say-grace_ has it, he's summoning together a Convocation of old Fathers, to prove the Stage in past Ages exploded, and all Plays horrible, abominable Debauchers of youth, and not to be encourag'd in a Civil Government. What can we think of this, especialiy when I find him in this Paragraph of his Book * raving on at this rate, and quoting to us, That St. _Cyprian_, or the Author _de Spectaculis_, argues thus against those who thought the Play-House no unlawful diversion; 'tis too tedious to recite all, but enough of St. _Cyprian_ for my purpose runs thus:

What business has a Christian at such Places as these? A Christian who has not the liberty so much as to think of an ill thing, why does he entertain himself with lewd Representations? Has he a mind to discharge his Modesty, and be flesh'd for the Practice? Yes, this is the consequence, by using to see these things, he'll learn to do them; what need I mention the Levities and Impertinencies in Comedies, or the Ranting distractions of Tragedy, were these things unconcern'd with Idolatry, Christians ought not to be at them, for were they not highly Criminal, the foolery of them is Egregious, and unbecoming the gravity of Believers.

And then again, before he is out of breath,

A Christian has much better Sights than these to look at, he has solid Satisfactions in his power, which will please and improve him at the same time. Would a Christian be agreeably refresh'd, let him read the Scriptures, here the Entertainment will suit his Character, and be big enough for his quality. Ah, Beloved, how n.o.ble, how moving, how profitable a thing is it, to be thus employ'd, to have our expectations always in prospect, and be intent on the glories of Heaven!

Very good, and who is he so reprobated, that will not allow this to be devout, and admirable good Counsel? But now let us see how the _Absolver_, for all Pious quotation, has follow'd St. _Cyprian_'s Advice; that holy Father charges him not to entertain himself with such lewd things as Plays, and he very dutifully reads a thousand as fast as he can; nay, scans and weighs 'em, and, no doubt, not without tickling satisfaction, at the present, for all his Saturnine Remarks at last.

Now if his Answer to this is, That it belongs to his Office, as a Church-man, and that he could not reprehend the Vices in 'em without reading the Books themselves, I must tell him, That St. _Cyprian_, nor the rest of the Fathers, did not allow that, neither do we find they did it themselves, for all their inveighing against the Stage; so that he makes his own Quotation altogether invalid, _He not being to do ill that good might come of it._

And therefore, why may not a Poet now, who, perhaps, is a greater Votary to St. _Cyprian_ in other Matters than the _Absolver_ is in this, rally him thus, and turn his Quotation upon himself, Phrase by Phrase? "What business has a Parson with such Books as these? A Parson who has not the liberty so much as to think of an ill thing? Why does he entertain himself with lewd Comedies? Has he a mind to discharge his Priestcraft, and flesh himself up for a Poet? Yes, this is the consequence, by using to see these _s.m.u.tty_ things, he'll learn to write 'em. What need I mention the Sham-Oaths, and looseness of Farce, or the Fustian raving against the G.o.ds in Tragedy, were these things really unconcern'd with Idolatry, a Parson, of all Mankind, should not be known to ogle them, for were they not highly Criminal, the foolery of them is Egregious, and unbecoming the gravity of all that thump the Cus.h.i.+on, or intend to thump a true Belief into the Pates of an incorrigible Congregation."

And now methinks I see the Spiritual Critick, with a certain sallow Male-contented Phiz, poring upon this Page, and sucking his Ring-finger, gives himself an unpleasurable minute to Judge whether I have paraphras'd right or no; well, all's one, fall back fall edge, I'm resolv'd to bait him with St. _Cyprian_ a little more. "A Parson has, or should have, much better Books than Plays to look in; he has many Authors of Pious and Solid Authorities to please, and improve himself with, at the same time. Would a Parson be agreeably refresh'd, let him read the Scriptures, let him find out Treatises of Morality, Meekness, Charity, and holy Life, there the Entertainment will suit his Character.

Ah, Beloved, how n.o.ble, how moving, how profitable a pleasure would it be to us, to see a Parson thus employ'd, to let the Stage's diversions be too little for his grave Consideration, and be intent himself on the glories of Heaven!" And here now, I do not at all question but the _Absolver_, a little nettled at this last Parallel, will fall to biting of his fingers again, his Righteous Spirit being offended at my Insolence, in scribling the Word _Parson_ so oft, it being a Nickname, and only invented by some idle fellow, who resolv'd to use the Order with no more respect. Why truly, I confess, in this Case, Modesty is a little gravell'd, but then she may thank him for it, for he has dignify'd the Poets with so many _h.e.l.l-defying_, _deep-mouth'd Swearing_, _Relapsing_, _Witch-riding t.i.tles_, that the worthy Ministry cannot reasonably be angry, especially when the Word is only meant to him, whom I shall prove has lessen'd the true t.i.tle, by his _Immorality_ and _Hypocrisie_, more than ever the Poets did the Reputation of the Stage, by their Time-serving Loosenesses and Licentious Diversions.

It is, no doubt, a considerable Maim to us, in some Peoples opinions, who never digested the benefits arising from the Stage in its Moral Representations, that this smarting Lash is given us by a Clergy-man of the Church of _England_, that is, good friends, if he be so, for some Judicious Heads are not resolv'd in that Affirmative--but let that be _discuss'd_ in another place, I'm sure, if he is, _Obedience to Government, in the first place, should be his princ.i.p.al Tenet_; and whether that is a part of the _Absolver_'s Character, I think has sufficiently appear'd. But let him be what he will, I shall now take the pleasure to inform those People, that but few years since, we had a Man of Wit and Learning, that wore the Gown, and as true a Son of the Church as she could possibly breed; that was intirely devoted a Champion in our Cause, and a.s.serted the Rights of the Stage with Success and Applause; and whoever will but look back a little, and incline his Eyes towards the delectable River _Cam_, may Encounter the fam'd Wit of that University, the Ingenious Mr. _Thomas Randolph_, who in one of his great many admirable Pieces, call'd the _Muses Looking-gla.s.s_, makes his whole Moral to be the Vindication of the Stage, and its usefulness, and by shewing the pa.s.sions in their Kinds, contrives to confute some canting prejudic'd Zealots, whose ignorance and frenzy had conspir'd before to run it down; I will treat the Reader here with some of it.

A Country La.s.s, for such she was, tho here In th' City may be s.l.u.ts as well as there; Kept her hands clean, for those being always seen, Had told her else how s.l.u.ttish she had been; Yet was her Face, as dirty as the Stall Of a Fish-monger, or a Usurer's Hall Begrim'd with filth, that you might boldly say, She was a true piece of _Prometheus_'s Clay.

At last, within a Pail, for Country La.s.ses Have oft you know, no other Looking-gla.s.ses, She view'd her dirty Face, and doubtless would Have blush'd, if through so much dirt she could.

At last, within that Water, that I say, That shew'd the Dirt, she wash'd the Dirt away.

_So, Comedies, as Poets still intend 'em,_ _Serve first to shew your faults, and then to mend 'em._

[Footnote: _Muses Looking-Gla.s.s._]

Here was a pretty Compliment to our Art now, a good Moral with good Manners into the bargain; and yet 'tis certain the times then were as Licentious as now, and the Poets took as little care of their Writings; but Mr _Randolph_ always made his good Nature agree with his Wit, and put as favourable construction upon Scenes of Diversion, as reason would allow, tho he perhaps had as much occasion for 50 _l._ as the Absolver when he writ his Book. He knew that if there was so stupid a Temper, that the Moral of a Play could not reform, the looseness that was in it could not prejudice; nor if a wild Town-Fellow, or a baffl'd Bully, or pa.s.sionate Lover, being characters in a Play, spoke some extravagances proper for 'em, would he roar it out for Blasphemy, Profaneness, &_c._ and make a malicious scrutiny, and unreasonable interpretation of words, which had no other intention but to make the Character natural by customary manner of Speech, as he has shewn examples by two of his own, in the extremes of Vain-glory and Hypocrisie: And yet this Gentleman was as Learned, as good a Critick, and as Consciencious a man, as our Absolver can pretend to be; and if I say, I had somewhat a better t.i.tle to Modesty and good Manners, I think it may be made out, he having a civil regard to the Poets, defended their Cause, and excus'd some failings for the sake of some other Merits, when this treats 'em all like fools, tho he has only rak'd up a few of their errors, which he has made a huge heap of Rubbish, by peering through his own Magnifying Gla.s.s, without any allowance to their qualifications, or any modest care to do 'em justice, which ought to have been one way as well as another.

So much then for his _Modesty_ in one of its kinds, which is decency of behaviour and expression; as for the other, he has plaid such a Game at Hide and Seek with us, that we have been long in a Mist, not knowing how to discover it: But the Air clears, and 'tis time for us now to take the right end of the perspective, tho he would give us the Wrong, and then try if we cannot discern, in the midst of his Garden of Divinity, a neat friend of his call'd Immorality, tho he would subtly insinuate him into the world as a stranger, leading his darling daughter dear Hypocrisie into an Arbor; where, after they had been some time alone, our Critick knowing how to be civil to his own creature, and to give 'em time enough to beget a right understanding, he is very glad at last to be a third in the company.

I should not have put him upon this warm Office, if I had not found him too hot and bold with our Famous Ancient Truth-telling Poet _Juvenal_, when in his Book he tells us, _he teaches those vices he would correct, and writes more like a Pimp than a Poet_ [Footnote: Collier, p. 70, 71.]--But upon just consideration, I believe if the Absolver taught the Art of Rebellion no more than _Juvenal_ the Art of Pimping, the one would be respected in after Ages, as much as we know the other has in the former: But every one is Fool or Knave that is not of this Gentlemans kidney. A little while after, at the usual rate of his own accustom'd civility, he falls upon the _Renown'd Shakespear_, and says, he is so guilty, that he is not fit to make an Evidence. [Footnote: Collier, p. 50.] Why now it 'twere possible for his Complexion to blush, there's ne're a Robe of any Friend Cardinal the Absolver has at _Rome_, that can be redder than his would be for such a Position: Nor does it end here, but is mixt with some more foolish and insolent Remarks in another place, upon the admirable Tragedy of _Hamlet_. And here he has no other way to shew his malice, but by ridiculously quibbling upon the prettiest Character in it, the innocent young Virgin _Ophelia_, who, because the Poet makes her run mad for the death of her Father, and loss of her Lover, and consequently makes her sing and speak some idle extravagant things, as on such an occasion is natural, and at last drown her self, he very masterly tells us, the Poet, _since he was resolv'd to drown her like a Kitten, should have set her a swimming a little sooner; to keep her alive, only to sully her Reputation, is very cruel_.

[Footnote: Collier, p. 10.] Yes, but I would fain ask Doctor Absolution in what she has sullied her Reputation, I am sure five hundred Audiences that have view'd her could never find it out, tho he has; but the Absolver can't help being positive and partial to his own humour, tho he were to be hang'd, as the Lady was drown'd, for he is very angry in another place with the aforesaid Author, for making Sir _Hugh Evens_ in the Merry Wives of Windsor, a silly, eating, chattering _Welch_ Priest, but vindicates and speaks well, of Sir _John_, Parson of _Wrotham_, in the History of Sir _John Oldcastle_; [Footnote: Collier, p. 125.] tho he swears, games, wenches, pads, tilts and drinks, and does things which our Reformers Guts are ready to come up at another time, only, forsooth, because he is stout; but 'tis indeed only _because he is a Parson_, and sullen, which he thinks wise, for he cannot endure that Copyhold should be touch'd, as you may see more plainly a little further, where he says in _Loves Labour Lost_, the Curate plays the fool egregiously; and so does the Poet too: there he clenches the Nail, there he gives _Shakespear_ a bold stroke, there obstinacy and malice appear in true colours: And yet if a parcel of the ones Plays, were set up by way of Auction against t'others _Sermons and Essays_; nay, tho the Loyal and Politick _Desertion discussd_ was thrown in to boot, I know not what the Grave would do, but I am sure the Wise would quickly find difference.

And yet to Remark him nicely, this humour of railing is only where the Poets do not suit with his design; for in another place you'll find this same _Shakespear_, that was before too guilty to make an Evidence, a very civil person now; for the Reformer is troubl'd with Fits, you must know, disturbances i th' brain, which makes him forget one hour what he rails at another, for here now _Shakespear_'s _Falstaff_ is call'd the admir'd, because he is to serve his turn. And that the Poet _was not so partial as to let his humour compound for his lewdness_; but punishes him at last, tho he makes him all his life time a d.a.m.nable, _s.m.u.tty_ fellow. [Footnote: ...54] And now, I think, having said enough of his modest behaviour, 'twon't be amiss to have a touch or two at his Hypocrisy. And first, concerning the word s.m.u.tt.

"s.m.u.tt, s.m.u.tt"! Why does this tarmagant Correcter of our Lives and Manners pretend to make us believe that his Mouth or Conscience is so streight, that the t'other word can't get pa.s.sage, or did his Mistress (honourable I mean) sit knotting under his Nose when he was writing, and so gave occasion for the changing it instead of Bawdy, that that odious word might not offend her, tho the Phrase was made Nonsence by it--hum--No faith, the case seems to me now to be quite otherwise, and really the effect of downright _Hypocrisy_, unless done as I said for the last reason; for those that have read his Book, may find sprinkling up and down the other words extreamly plain upon occasion, _Ribaldry_ and _Bawdy_, and _Wh.o.r.es_, and _Whoring_, and _Strumpets_, and _Cuckoldmakers_, with as fat a signification as any of the last nam'd could wish for their hearts; for example, by way of Tract, first, he says, _Euripides_ in his _Hipolitus_, calls _Whoring_ stupidness and playing the fool; and secondly, does _Ribaldry_, (not s.m.u.t) and Nonsence become the dignity of their station. [Footnote: Collier, p 30, 32.]

Again, _Berinthia_ incourages _Amanda_ to play the _Wh.o.r.e_; and then sowse upon _Don Quixot_, [Footnote: p. 74.] when there is not so much as one little tiny todpol of _s.m.u.t_, that I know of, unless he creates it--Yet I am Crambo'd with, _who, with low, nauseous Bawdry fills his Plays_. [Footnote: p. 208.] Again speaking of _Jupiter_ and _Alcmena_-- but her Lover--_that is her Wh.o.r.e-master_. [Footnote: p. 178.] And at last with a Rowzer upon Mr _Congreeve_'s _Double Dealer_, where he particularly Remarks, _that there are but four Ladies in his Play, and three of em are Wh.o.r.es_; adding, withal, that 'tis _a great Compliment to Quality, to tell em there is but a quarter of 'em honest_. [Footnote: p. 12.] Why who, in the name of _Diana_, and all the rest of the Maiden _G.o.ddesses_, does tell 'em so, unless it be Doctor _Crambo_ here--If any one calls 'em _Wh.o.r.es_ 'tis he, he that by an a.s.sum'd Authority thinks he may say any thing; the Ladies, I dare say for the Poet, were drest in such clean Linnen, and were so far from being Tawdry, that no Scrutineer but our severe Master of Art but wou'd have thought Charitably of 'em.

Well, but huge Rampant _Wh.o.r.es_ they must be with him tho, and through that very mouth that simper'd and primm'd before, as if such a filthy word cou'd not possibly break through: It comes out now in sound and emphasis, and the modest Pen is as p.r.o.ne and ready to write it. So that I once more affirm, that if it were not done in respect to his Lady, who, no doubt, peruses him extreamly, it must naturally be the effect of _Hypcrisie_, for, to be squeamish in one place and not in another is Ridiculous, especially when one word is Innocent in its kind, and makes the sense, and the other when us'd makes it wretched Affectation, and almost Nonsence.

Now if the _Absolver_ thought Affectation would appear a vertue in him, he ought to have squeamifyed the before-mention'd Ladies with some t.i.tle that was new, and if _s.m.u.tt_ was chosen to be his fine darling word (and the course one of _Wh.o.r.es_ slipt out of his Mouth, or from his Pen, by misfortune or chance) he should, in my opinion, have given 'em the t.i.tle of _s.m.u.tters_: a pr.i.m.m.i.n.g neat word extremely proper for the occasion: And I hope I shall live to see the Master of Art have Modesty enough to thank me for't; or else (for my fancy wou'd fain oblige him if it cou'd) to make it yet more _German_ to the matter, as _Shakespear_ has it, to call em _Colliers_ would be as significant as any thing; for there's allusion enough to _s.m.u.tt_, or the Devil's in't: For, to deal sincerely, and without _Hypocrisie_, I cannot imagine what this learned Gentleman can mean by all that s.m.u.tt, s.m.u.tt, when the other word is as decent and more significant, unless he banters, or dissembles, or fear'd the Ladies peeping, or is so full of his own name, that he goes along quibbling upon't through his Book, with design that way to make himself more famous.

In another part of his Treatise too I fancy I find the _Hypocrite_ a great deal more than the _Moralist_, and that is, in his kecking at a word in one place, and gobbling it up in another. To prove this, I find him very like a Ghostly Father of the old _Roman_ Kidney, condemning even to the Inquisition: One _Carlos_ in Mr _Dryden_'s _Love Triumphant_, for blundring out this _horrible Expression_, as he calls it, _Nature has given me my portion of Sense, with a Pox to her_.

[Footnote: Collier, p. 82.] Now pray observe, the _Absolvers_ Stomach is so horribly squeamish, at this he belches, turns pale, and is so very sick, that a quartern of Cherry is administered in vain, to set him to rights; he prints instead of the word only a great P---- and tells the gentle Reader, (that he is intending to lead by the Nose) that the _h.e.l.lish syllable_ may be found there at length if he pleases. Would not any one think now, that did not know that the Small Pox is a common Disease, that this word had been _Blasphemy_ in the extremity, the renouncing the Deity, or something beyond pardon, and would not one lay a Scholars Egg against a Tost and Ale, that the Doctor would ne're be concern'd with it as long as he was able to eat or drink either of 'em.

Why see now how an honest man may be cheated; do but turn to the one hundred seventy second page of his Book, and you will find this horrible, this h.e.l.lish, syllable, in its Pontificallibus, at length, sitting almost a straddle upon the top of the Page, and us'd familiarly and friendly, without so much as once kacking at it, or one invective near it, tho the sense of the Curse is as broad as t'other, and has rather the worse signification. [Footnote: Collier, p. 172.]

And pray what can this be else but Hypocrisy; if the word were really terrifying and horrible to him, it would certainly be so in one place as well as another. No, no, these are only flights and amus.e.m.e.nts, tricks of his own studied Legerdemain, to make the bubbled ignorants believe him a Saint, and admire his Divinity, when, if they could dive to the bottom of the secret, 'tis solemnly believ'd by many of the dutiful Sons of the Church, that our Sham-reformer is a much fitter man to win Money by his skill at a game of Whisk and Swabbers, than as the case of Allegiance, and Morality, stand with him, to win Souls from Reprobation by the Integrity of his Principles.