Mollie and the Unwiseman Abroad Part 26

And the old gentleman resumed his poem:

"He sought the wise-men of his time, And when the same were found, He went and whispered to them, 'I'm Convinced the Earth is round, Just like an orange or a lime-- I'll bet you half a pound!'

"Each wise-man then just shook his head-- Each one within his hat.

'Go to, Columbus, child,' they said.

'_We_ know the Earth is flat.

Go home, my son, and go to bed And don't talk stuff like that.'

"But Christopher could not be hushed By fellows such as they.

His spirit never could be crushed In such an easy way, And with his heart and soul unsquushed He plunged into the fray."

"What's a fray?" asked Whistlebinkie.

"A fight, row, dispute, argyment," said the Unwiseman. "Don't interrupt. We're coming to the exciting part."

And he went on:

"'I'll prove the world is round,' said he 'For you next Tuesday night, If you will gather formally And listen to the right.'

And all the wise-men did agree Because they loved a fight.

"And so the wise-men gathered there To hear Columbus talk, And some were white as to the hair And some could hardly walk, And one looked like a Polar Bear And one looked like an Auk."

"How-dju-know-that?" asked Whistlebinkie. "Does the history say all that?"

"No," said the Unwiseman. "The history doesn't say anything about their looks, but there's a picture of the whole party in the book, and it was just as I say especially the Polar Bear and the Auk. Anyhow, they were all there and the poem goes on to tell about it.

"Now when about the room they sat Columbus he came in; Took off his rubbers and his hat, Likewise his tarpaulin.

He cleared his throat and stroked the cat And thuswise did begin."

"There wasn't any cat in the picture," explained the Unwiseman, "but I introduced him to get a rhyme for hat and sat. Sometimes you have to do things like that in poetry and according to the rules if you have a license you can do it."

"Have you got a license?" asked Whistlebinkie.

"Not to write poetry, but I've got a dog-license," said the Unwiseman, "and I guess if a man pays three dollars to keep a dog and doesn't keep the dog he's got a right to use the license for something else. I'll risk it anyhow. So just keep still and listen.

"'You see this egg?' Columbus led.

'Now watch me, sirs, I begs.

I'll make it stand upon its head Or else upon its legs.'

And instantly 'twas as he said As sure as eggs is eggs.

"For whether 'twas an Egg from school Or in a circus taught, Or whether it was just a cool Egg of unusual sort, That egg stood up just like a spool According to report."

"I bet he smashed in the end of it," said Whistlebinkie.

"Maybe it was a scrambled egg, maybe he stuck a pin in an end of it.

Maybe he didn't. Anyhow, he made it stand up," said the Unwiseman, "and I wish you'd stop squeakyrupting when I'm reading."

"Go ahead," said Whistlebinkie meekly. "It's a perfly spulendid piece o'

potery and I can't help showing my yadmiration for it."

"Well keep your yadmiration for the yend of it," retorted the Unwiseman.

"We'll be in New York before I get it finished at this rate."

Whistlebinkie promised not to squeak again and the Unwiseman resumed.

"'O wonderful!' the wise-men cried.

'O marvellous,' said they.

And then Columbus up and tried The egg the other way, And still it stood up full of pride Or so the histories say.

"Again the wise-men cried aloud, 'O wizard, marvellous!

Of all the scientific crowd This is the man for us-- O Christopher we're mighty proud Of you, you little cuss!'"

"That wasn't very polite," began Whistlebinkie.

"Now Squeaky," said the Unwiseman.

"'Scuse!" gasped Whistlebinkie.

And the Unwiseman went on:

"'For men who make an omlette We really do not care; To poach an egg already yet Is easy everywhere; But he who'll teach it etiquette-- He is a genius rare.

"'So if _you_ say the Earth is round We think it must be so.

Your reasoning's so very sound, Columbus don't you know.

Come wizard, take your half-a-pound Before you homeward go.'"

Whistlebinkie began to fidget again and his breath came in little short squeaks.

"But I don't see," he began. "It didn't prove----"

"Wait!" said the Unwiseman. "Don't you try to get in ahead of the finish. Here's the last verse, and it covers your ground.

"And thus it was, O children dear, Who gather at my knee, Columbus showed the Earth the sphere It since has proved to be; Though how the Egg trick made it clear, I'm blest if I can see."

"Well I'm glad you put that last voyse in," said Whistlebinkie, "because I don't see either."

"Oh--I guess they thought a man who could train an egg to stand up was a pretty smart man," said Mollie, "and they didn't want to dispute with him."

"I shouldn't be surprised if that was it," said the Unwiseman. "I noticed too in the picture that Columbus was about twice as big as any of the wise-men, and maybe that had something to do with it too. Anyhow, he was pretty smart."

"Is that all you wrote?" asked Whistlebinkie.

"No," said the Unwiseman. "I did another little one called 'I Wonder.'

There are a lot of things the histories don't tell you anything about, so I've put 'em all in a rhyme as a sort of hint to people who are going to write about him in the future. It goes like this:

"When Christopher Columbus came ash.o.r.e, The day he landed in Americor I wonder what he said when first he tried Down in the subway trains to take a ride?

"When Christopher Columbus went up town And looked the country over, up and down, I wonder what he thought when first his eye Was caught by the sky-sc.r.a.pers in the sky?