Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas Part 5

That would really be awfully funny. [_To_ HELMER, _who enters._]

Torvald, this is Christina; she wants to be a clerk in your Bank--_do_ let her! She thinks such a lot of _you_. [_To herself._] Another taradiddle!

HELMER.

She is a sensible woman, and deserves encouragement. Come along, Mrs.

Linden, and we'll see what we can do for you.

[_He goes out through the hall with_ MRS. LINDEN, _and the front-door is heard to slam after them._

NORA.

[_Opens door, and calls._] Now, Emmy, Ivar, and Bob, come in and have a romp with Mamma--we will play hide-and-seek. [_She gets under the table, smiling in quiet satisfaction_; KROGSTAD _enters_--NORA _pounces out upon him._] Boo!... Oh, I beg your pardon. I don't do this kind of thing _generally_--though I may be a little silly.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "Boo!"]

KROGSTAD.

[_Politely._] Don't mention it. I called because I happened to see your husband go out with Mrs. Linden--from which, being a person of considerable penetration, I infer that he is about to give her my post at the Bank. Now, as you owe me the balance of 300, for which I hold your acknowledgment, you will see the propriety of putting a stop to this little game at once.

NORA.

But I don't at all--not a little wee bit! I'm so childish, you know--why _should_ I?

[_Sitting upright on carpet._

KROGSTAD.

I will try to make it plain to the meanest capacity. When you came to me for the loan, I naturally required some additional security. Your father, being a shady Government official, without a penny--for, if he had possessed one, he would presumably have left it to you--without a penny, then--I, as a cautious man of business, insisted upon having his signature as a surety. Oh, we Norwegians are sharp fellows!

NORA.

Well, you _got_ papa's signature, didn't you?

KROGSTAD.

Oh, I _got_ it right enough. Unfortunately, it was dated three days after his decease--now, how do you account for _that_?

NORA.

How? Why, as poor Papa was dead, and couldn't sign, I signed _for_ him, that's all! Only somehow I forgot to put the date back. _That's_ how.

Didn't I _tell_ you I was a silly, unbusiness like little thing? It's very simple.

KROGSTAD.

Very--but what you did amounts to forgery, notwithstanding. I happen to know, because I'm a lawyer, and have done a little in the forging way myself. So, to come to the point--if _I_ get kicked out, I shall not go alone! [_He bows, and goes out._

NORA.

It _can't_ be wrong! Why, no one but Krogstad would have been taken in by it! If the Law says it's wrong, the Law's a goose--a bigger goose than poor little me even! [_To_ HELMER, _who enters._] Oh, Torvald, how you made me jump!

HELMER.

Has anybody called? [NORA _shakes her head._] Oh, my little squirrel mustn't tell naughty whoppers. Why, I just met that fellow Krogstad in the hall. He's been asking you to get me to take him back--now, hasn't he?

NORA.

[_Walking about._] Do just see how pretty the Christmas-tree looks!

HELMER.

Never mind the tree--I want to have this out about Krogstad. I can't take him back, because many years ago he forged a name. As a lawyer, a close observer of human nature, and a Bank Manager, I have remarked that people who forge names seldom or never confide the fact to their children--which inevitably brings moral contagion into the entire family. From which it follows, logically, that Krogstad has been poisoning his children for years by acting a part, and is morally lost.

[_Stretches out his hands to her._] I can't bear a morally lost Bank-cas.h.i.+er about me!

NORA.

But you never thought of dismissing him till Christina came!

HELMER.

H'm! I've got some business to attend to--so good-bye, little lark!

[_Goes into office and shuts door._

NORA.

[_Pale with terror._] If Krogstad poisons his children because he once forged a name, I must be poisoning Emmy, and Bob, and Ivar, because _I_ forged papa's signature! [_Short pause; she raises her head proudly._]

After all, if I am a doll, I can still draw a logical inference! I mustn't play with the children any more--[_hotly_]--I don't care--I _shall_, though! Who cares for Krogstad?

[_She makes a face, choking with suppressed tears, as Curtain falls._

* * * * *

ACT SECOND

_The room, with the cheap Art-furniture as before--except that the candles on the Christmas tree have guttered down and appear to have been lately blown out. The cotton-wool frogs and the chenille monkeys are disarranged, and there are walking things on the sofa._ NORA _alone_.

NORA.

[_Putting on a cloak and taking it off again._] Bother Krogstad! There, I won't think of him. I'll only think of the costume ball at Consul Stenborg's, overhead, to-night, where I am to dance the Tarantella all alone, dressed as a Capri fisher-girl. It struck Torvald that, as I am a matron with three children, my performance might amuse the Consul's guests, and, at the same time, increase his connection at the Bank.

Torvald is so practical. [_To_ MRS. LINDEN, _who comes in with a large cardboard box._] Ah, Christina, so you have brought in my old costume?

_Would_ you mind, as my husband's new Cas.h.i.+er, just doing up the tr.i.m.m.i.n.g for me?

MRS. LINDEN.

Not at all--is it not part of my regular duties? [_Sewing._] Don't you think, Nora, that you see a little too much of Dr. Rank?

NORA.

Oh, I _couldn't_ see too much of Dr. Rank! He _is_ so amusing--always talking about his complaints, and heredity, and all sorts of indescribably funny things. Go away now, dear; I hear Torvald.