The Melting-Pot Part 33

KATHLEEN Sure, not the elevator. The misthress said 'twould be breaking the _Shabbos_ to ride up in it.

DAVID [_Uneasily_]

But did---did Miss Revendal send you up?

KATHLEEN And who else should be axin' the misthress if she wasn't proud of Mr.

David? Faith, she's a sweet lady.

MENDEL [_Impatiently_]

Don't chatter, Kathleen.

KATHLEEN But, Mr. Quixano----!

DAVID [_Sweetly_]

Please take your mistress down again--don't let her walk.

KATHLEEN But _Shabbos_ isn't out yet!

MENDEL Chattering again!

DAVID [_Gently_]

There's no harm, Kathleen, in going _down_ in the elevator.

KATHLEEN Troth, I'll egshplain to her that droppin' down isn't ridin'.

DAVID [_Smiling_]

Yes, tell her dropping down is natural--not _work_, like flying up.

[_Kathleen begins to move toward the stairs, explaining to FRAU QUIXANO._]

And, Kathleen! You'll get her some refreshments.

KATHLEEN [_Turns, glaring_]

Refrishments, is it? Give her refrishments where they mix the mate with the b.u.t.ther plates! Oh, Mr. David!

[_She moves off toward the stairs in reproachful sorrow._]

MENDEL [_Smiling_]

I'll get her some coffee.

DAVID [_Smiling_]

Yes, that'll keep her awake. Besides, Pappelmeister was so sure the people wouldn't understand me, he's relaxing them on Gounod and Rossini.

MENDEL Pappelmeister's idea of relaxation! _I_ should have given them comic opera.

[_With sudden call to KATHLEEN, who with her mistress is at the wrong exit._]

Kathleen! The elevator's _this_ side!

KATHLEEN [_Turning_]

What way can that be, when I came up _this_ side?

MENDEL You chatter too much.

[_FRAU QUIXANO, not understanding, exit._]

Come this way. Can't you see the elevator?

KATHLEEN [_Perceives FRAU QUIXANO has gone, calls after her in Irish-sounding Yiddish_]

_Wu geht Ihr_, bedad?...

[_Impatiently_]

Houly Moses, _komm' zurick_!

[_Exit anxiously, re-enter with FRAU QUIXANO._]

Begorra, we Jews never know our way.

[_MENDEL, carrying the violin, escorts his mother and KATHLEEN to the elevator. When they are near it, it stops with a thud, and PAPPELMEISTER springs out, his umbrella up, meeting them face to face. He looks happy and beaming over DAVID'S triumph._]

PAPPELMEISTER [_In loud, joyous voice_]

_Nun, Frau Quixano, was sagen Sie?_ Vat you tink of your David?

FRAU QUIXANO _Dovid? Er ist meshuggah._ [_She taps her forehead._]

PAPPELMEISTER [_Puzzled, to MENDEL_]

_Meshuggah!_ Vat means _meshuggah_? Crazy?

MENDEL [_Half-smiling_]

You've struck it. She says David doesn't know enough to go in out of the rain.

[_General laughter._]

DAVID [_Rising_]

But it's stopped raining, Herr Pappelmeister. You don't want your umbrella.

[_General laughter._]

PAPPELMEISTER _So._ [_Shuts it down._]

MENDEL _Herein, Mutter._ [_He pushes FRAU QUIXANO'S somewhat shrinking form into the elevator. KATHLEEN follows, then MENDEL._]

Herr Pappelmeister, we are all your grateful servants.

[_PAPPELMEISTER bows; the gates close, the elevator descends._]

DAVID And you won't think _me_ ungrateful for running away--you know my thanks are too deep to be spoken.

PAPPELMEISTER And zo are my congratulations!

DAVID Then, don't speak them, please.

PAPPELMEISTER But you _must_ come and speak to all de people in America who undershtand music.

DAVID [_Half-smiling_]

To your four connoisseurs?

[_Seriously_]

Oh, please! I really could not meet strangers, especially musical vampires.

PAPPELMEISTER [_Half-startled, half-angry_]

Vampires? Oh, come!

DAVID Voluptuaries, then--rich, idle aesthetes to whom art and life have no connection, parasites who suck our music----

PAPPELMEISTER [_Laughs good-naturedly_]