Poise: How to Attain It Part 11

By this word magnetism we have in mind nothing verging in the least upon the supernatural.

We have reference only to the well-known physical discomfort experienced by those who have not yet become masters of poise when meeting a steady stare.

Its effect is so strong that, in the majority of cases, the timid are quite unable to endure it. They stammer, lose their presence of mind, and finally reveal everything they are asked to tell, if only to escape from the tyranny of the gaze which seems to go right through them and to dictate the words that they must utter.

One must be careful, then, not to allow oneself to become swayed by the gaze of another. But since it would seem ridiculous to keep one's eyes constantly lowered, and is impolite to allow them to wander from the face of the person with whom one is speaking, one can escape the magnetic effect of his pupils by looking steadily at the bridge of his nose directly between his eyes.

When first practising this one must be careful not to look too fixedly, for the eye has not yet acquired the necessary muscular power, and one will quickly find oneself fascinated instead of dominating.

But this method is an absolute safeguard, if one does not stare too fixedly.

It must not be forgotten that this spot is known as the "magnetic point."

In the case of those who have made no study of the power of the eye, and particularly of those who are lacking in poise, this method of looking steadily at the bridge of the other's nose, while not having any marked effect upon him, will save them from becoming the tools of his will.

Certain easy exercises will be found most useful in arriving at the possession of the first notions of this art, so indispensable in the ordinary applications of poise.

One good way is to look steadily, for several seconds at first and later on for several minutes at a time, at some object so small that the eye can remain fixt upon it without discomfort.

For the latter reason it is better to choose something dark. A brilliant object will much more readily cause fatigue and dizziness.

We have said for several seconds to begin with. It will be found a matter of sufficient difficulty to keep one's gaze fixt for much longer than this, when one is unaccustomed to this sort of exercise.

One should endeavor to keep the two eyes open without winking. One should not open them too wide nor yet close them. The head should be kept steady and the pupils motionless.

If this attempt causes the least wandering of the gaze or the slightest winking of the eyes, it must be begun over again.

It is for this reason that at the start it will be found difficult to keep it up for more than a few seconds.

After resting awhile one should repeat the exercise afresh, until the time comes when one can concentrate one's gaze in this way for at least four or five minutes of perfect fixity.

In order to keep count of the time that is pa.s.sing, as well as to keep control of one's will-power, it is advisable to count aloud in such a way that approximately one second elapses between the naming of every two numbers.

When once fixity of gaze has been acquired, one can essay various other exercises, such as concentrating the eyes on an object and turning the head slowly to one side and the other without removing one's gaze from this point for a moment.

It is not until one is very certain that the muscles of the eye have been thoroughly trained that one should undertake the mirror test.

To do this, one must take up a position in front of a gla.s.s and fix one's gaze upon one's own pupils for a time. Then one must transfer it to the bridge of the nose, between the two eyes, and must strive to keep it there immovably.

At first this exercise will not be found as easy as one might suppose.

The magnetic power of the pupils is great and one will experience some slight difficulty in breaking away from it.

For this reason it is a good plan to count out loud slowly up to a predetermined number, at which point the gaze should be at once transferred to the bridge of the nose.

These exercises of the eye will be found particularly beneficial for people who are desirous of acquiring poise, as aside from the advantages we have specified, they have the effect of strengthening the will-power, which will be found to have materially gained by this means.

When the desired result appears to have been accomplished and one feels oneself strong enough to meet or to avoid another person's eye, while at the same time one is conscious that one can dominate with one's own, it will be well to experiment upon the people with whom one is closely a.s.sociated.

One can thus become accustomed, little by little, to control one's gaze, to force an estimate of its influence, and to neutralize the effect of that of other people.

THIRD SERIES--THE MOTIONS, THE CARRIAGE

Another highly important point in the conquest of poise is the struggle against awkwardness, which is at once the parent and the offspring of timidity.

Let us make ourselves clear.

Many people only lack poise because they fear ridicule of their obvious embarra.s.sment and of the awkward hesitation of their movements.

Others fall into this embarra.s.sment as the result of exhibitions of clumsiness in which they cover themselves with ridicule. The terror of renewing their moments of torture drives them into a reserve, from which they only emerge with a constraint so evident that it is reflected in their gestures, the evidences of a deplorable awkwardness.

It is exceedingly simple to find a remedy for these unpleasant conditions. One must make up one's mind to combat their exhibitions of weakness by determining to acquire ease of movement.

We have all noticed that awkwardness occurs only in public.

The most embarra.s.sed person in the world carries himself, when alone, in a fas.h.i.+on quite foreign to that which is the regret of his friends.

It may happen, however, that awkwardness too long allowed to become a habit will have a disastrous effect upon our daily actions, and that the person who is lacking in poise will end by keeping up, even in private, the awkward gestures and uncouth movements that cause him eternal shame at his own expense.

In such a case a cure will be a little more difficult to effect, but it can be arrived at, without a shadow of doubt, if our advice is faithfully followed out.

It is an obvious truth that the repet.i.tion of any act diminishes the emotion it gave rise to in us at the first performance.

Physical exercises are then in order, to achieve for us suppleness of movement and to extend its scope.

Every morning, after our breathing exercises (which can be performed in bed between the moment of waking and that of getting up, according to our advice to those whose time is limited) it is absolutely necessary to devote five minutes to bodily exercises, the object of which is the acquirement of an easy carriage from the frequent repet.i.tion of certain movements.

For instance, one should endeavor to expand the chest as far as possible, while throwing back the head and extending the arms, not by jerky movements but by a wide and rhythmical sweep, which should be every day made a little more extended.

While doing this one should hollow the back so that it becomes a perfect arch.

Then one should walk up and down the room, endeavoring to keep one's steps of even length and one's body erect.

One should never allow these daily exercises to go unperformed on the pretext of lack of time.

Five minutes of deep breathing and five minutes to practise the other movements advised will be sufficient, if one performs these tasks every day with regularity and conscientiousness.

The speaking exercises, to which we shall now refer can be carried out while we are dressing.

Choose a phrase, a short one to start with, and longer as you progress, and repeat it in front of the gla.s.s while observing yourself carefully, to be sure that your face shows no sign of embarra.s.sment and that you do not stammer or hesitate in any way.

If the words do not come out clearly, you must make an immediate stop and go doggedly back to the beginning of your phrase, until you are able to enunciate it with mechanical accuracy and without a single sign of hesitation.

You must study to avoid all the jerky and abrupt movements which disfigure the address of the timid and deprive them of all the a.s.surance that they should possess, for the reason that they can not help paying attention to their own lack of composure.

Finally, from the moment of rising, as well as when brus.h.i.+ng his hair, tying his necktie, or putting on his clothes, the man who desires to acquire poise will watch himself narrowly, with a view to making his movements more supple and to invest them with grace.

Once in the street, he will not forget to carry his head erect, without exaggerating the pose, and will always walk with a firm step without looking directly ahead of him.