Dialogues on the Supersensual Life Part 12

The Soul being thus heavy and sad, and finding no remedy or rest, began to cast about where it might find a fit place to perform true repentance in, where it might be free from business, cares, and the hinderances of the World; and also by what means it might win the favour of G.o.d. And at length purposed to betake itself to some private solitary place, and give over all worldly employments and temporal things, and hoped that by being bountiful and pitiful to the Poor, it should obtain G.o.d's mercy.

Thus did it devise all kinds of ways to get rest, and to gain the love, favour, and grace of G.o.d again. But all would not do; for its worldly business still followed it in the l.u.s.ts of the flesh, and it was ensnared in the net of the Devil now, as well as before, and could not attain rest. And though for a little while it was somewhat cheered with earthly things, yet presently it fell to be as sad and heavy again as it was before. The truth was it felt the awakened Wrath of G.o.d in itself, but knew not how that came to pa.s.s, nor what ailed it. For many times great trouble and terror fell upon it, which made it comfortless, sick, and faint with very fear; so mightily did the first bruising it with the ray or influence of the stirring of Grace work upon it. And yet it knew not that Christ was in the Wrath and severe Justice of G.o.d and fought therein with that Spirit of Error incorporated in Soul and Body, nor understood that the hunger and desire to turn and repent came from Christ Himself, neither did it know what hindered it that it could not yet attain to Divine Feeling. It knew not that itself was a monster, and did bear the Image of the Serpent.

AN ENLIGHTENED AND REGENERATE SOUL MET THE DISTRESSED SOUL

By the Providence of G.o.d, an enlightened and regenerate Soul met the distressed Soul, and said: What ailest thou, thou distressed Soul, that thou art so restless and troubled!

THE DISTRESSED SOUL ANSWERED

The Creator hath hid his Countenance from me, so that I cannot come to his Rest; therefore I am thus troubled, and know not what I shall do to get his Loving-kindness again. For great cliffs and rocks lie in my way to his Grace, so that I cannot come to him. Though I sigh and long after him never so much, yet I am kept back, so that I cannot partake of his Power, Virtue, and Strength.

THE ENLIGHTENED SOUL SAID

Thou bearest the monstrous shape of the Devil, and art clothed therewith; in which, being his own Property or Principle, he hath access or power of entrance into thee, and thereby keepeth thy Will from penetrating into G.o.d. For if thy Will might penetrate into G.o.d, it would be anointed with the highest Power and Strength of G.o.d, in the Resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ; and that unction would break in pieces the monster which thou carriest about thee; and thy first Image of Paradise would revive in the Centre; which would destroy the Devil's Power therein, and thou wouldst become an Angel again. And because the Devil envieth thee this happiness, he holdeth thee captive in his Desire in the l.u.s.ts of the flesh, from which if thou art not delivered, thou wilt be separated from G.o.d, and canst never enter into our Society.

THE DISTRESSED SOUL TERRIFIED

At this speech the poor distressed Soul was so terrified and amazed, that it could not speak one word more. When it found that it stood in the form and condition of the Serpent which separated it from G.o.d, and that the Devil was so nigh it in that condition, who injected evil thoughts into the Will of the Soul, and had so much power over it thereby that it was near d.a.m.nation and sticking fast in the Abyss or bottomless pit of h.e.l.l in the Anger of G.o.d, it would have even despaired of Divine Mercy; but that the Power, Virtue and Strength of the first stirring of the Grace of G.o.d, which had before bruised the Soul, upheld and preserved it from total despair. But still it wrestled in itself between Hope and Doubt; whatsoever Hope built up, that Doubt threw down again. And thus was it agitated with such continued disquiet, that at last the World and all the glory thereof became loathsome to it, neither would it enjoy worldly pleasures any more; and yet for all this could it not come to Rest.

THE ENLIGHTENED SOUL CAME AGAIN, AND SPOKE TO THE TROUBLED SOUL

On a time the enlightened Soul came again to this Soul, and finding it still in so great trouble, anguish, and grief, said to it.

What dost thou? Wilt thou destroy thyself in thy anguish and sorrow? Why dost thou torment thyself in thy own Power and Will, seeing thy torment increaseth thereby more and more? Yea, if thou shouldst sink thyself down to the bottom of the sea, or fly to the uttermost coasts of the morning, or raise thyself above the stars, yet thou wouldst not be released. For the more thou grievest, tormentest, and troublest thyself, the more painful thy nature will be; and yet thou wilt not be able to come to Rest. For thy Power is quite lost, and as a dry stick burnt to a coal cannot grow green and spring afresh by its own power, nor get sap to flourish again with other trees and plants; so neither canst thou reach the Place of G.o.d by thy own power and strength, and transform thyself into that Angelical Image which thou hadst at first. For in respect to G.o.d thou art withered and dry, like a dead plant that hath lost its sap and strength, and so art become a dry tormenting Hunger.

Thy Properties are like Heat and Cold which continually strive one against the other, and can never unite.

THE DISTRESSED SOUL SAID

What then shall I do to bud forth again, and recover the first Life, wherein I was at rest before I became an Image?

THE ENLIGHTENED SOUL SAID

Thou shalt do nothing at all but forsake thy own Will, viz., that which thou callest _I_, or _thyself_. By which means all thy evil properties will grow weak, faint, and ready to die; and then thou wilt sink down again into that One Thing from which thou art originally sprung. For now thou liest captive in the Creatures; but if thy Will forsaketh them, they will die in thee, with their evil inclinations, which at present stay and hinder thee that thou canst not come to G.o.d. But if thou takest this course, thy G.o.d will meet thee with his infinite Love, which he hath manifested in Christ Jesus in the Humanity, or human Nature. And that will impart sap, life and vigour to thee, whereby thou mayst bud, spring, flourish again, and rejoice in the Living G.o.d, as a branch growing on his true Vine. And so thou wilt at length recover the Image of G.o.d, and be delivered from that of the Serpent. Then shalt thou come to be my brother and have fellows.h.i.+p with the Angels.

THE POOR SOUL SAID

How can I forsake my Will, so that the Creatures which lodge therein may die, seeing I must be in the World, and also have need of it as long as I live?

THE ENLIGHTENED SOUL SAID

Now thou hast worldly power and riches, which thou possesses! as thy own, to do what thou wilt with, and regardest not how thou gettest or invest the same, employing them in the service or indulgence of thy carnal and vain desires. Nay though thou seest the poor and needy wretch who wanteth thy help, and is thy brother, yet thou helpest him not, but layest heavy burdens upon him, by requiring more of him than his abilities will bear, or his necessities afford, and oppressest him, by forcing him to spend his labour and sweat for thee and the gratification of thy voluptuous Will. Thou art moreover proud and exultest over him, and behavest roughly and sternly to him, exalting thyself above him, and making small account of him in respect of thyself. Then that poor oppressed brother of thine cometh, and complaineth with sighs towards G.o.d, that he cannot reap the benefit of his labours and pains, but is forced by thee to live in misery. By which sighings and groanings of his he raiseth up the wrath of G.o.d in thee, which maketh thy flame and unquietness still the greater.

These are the Creatures which thou art in love with, and hast broken thyself off from G.o.d for their sakes, and brought thy Love into them or them into thy Love, so that they live therein. Thou nourishest and keepest them by continually receiving them into thy desire, for they live in and by thy receiving them into thy mind, because thou thereby bringest the l.u.s.t of thy Life into them. They are but unclean and evil births and issues of the b.e.s.t.i.a.l Nature, which yet by thy receiving them in thy Desire, have gotten an Image and formed themselves in thee. And that Image is a beast with four heads. First, _Pride_. Secondly, _Covetousness_. Thirdly, _Envy_. Fourthly, _Anger_. And in these four properties the Foundation of h.e.l.l consisteth, which thou earnest in thee and about thee. It is imprinted and engraven in thee, and thou art wholly taken captive thereby. For these properties live in thy Natural Life; and thereby thou art severed from G.o.d, neither canst thou ever come to him, unless thou so forsake these evil Creatures that they may die in thee.

But since thou desirest me to tell thee how to forsake thy own, perverse creaturely Will, that the Creatures might die, and that yet thou mightest live with them in the World, I must a.s.sure thee that there is but one way to do it, which is _narrow_ and _straight_, and will be very hard and irksome to thee in the beginning, but afterwards thou wilt walk in it cheerfully.

Thou must seriously consider that in the course of this worldly life thou walkest in the Anger of G.o.d and in the Foundation of h.e.l.l; and that this is not thy true native country; but that a Christian should and must live in Christ, and in his walking truly follow him; and that he cannot be a Christian unless the Spirit and Power of Christ so live in him that he becometh wholly subject to it. Now seeing the Kingdom of Christ is not of the world, but in Heaven, therefore thou must be always in a continual ascension towards Heaven, if thou wilt follow Christ; though thy body must dwell among the Creatures and use them.

The narrow way to which perpetual ascension into Heaven and imitation of Christ is this. Thou must despair of all thy own power and strength, for in and by thy own thou canst not reach the Gates of G.o.d, and firmly purpose and resolve wholly to give thyself up to the Mercy of G.o.d, and to sink down with thy whole mind and reason into the Pa.s.sion and Death of our Lord Jesus Christ, always desiring to persevere in the same and to die from all thy Creatures therein. Also thou must resolve to watch and guard thy mind, thoughts, and inclinations that they admit no evil into them, neither must thou suffer thyself to be held fast by temporal honour or profit. Thou must resolve likewise to put away from thee all Unrighteousness and whatsoever else may hinder the freedom of thy motion and progress. Thy Will must be wholly pure and fixed in a firm resolution never to return to its old idols any more, but that thou wilt, that very instant leave them, and separate thy mind from them, and enter into the sincere way of truth and righteousness, according to the plain and full doctrine of Christ. And as thou dost thus purpose to forsake the enemies of thine own inward Nature, so thou must also forgive all thy outward enemies and resolve to meet them with thy Love, that there may be left no Creature, Person, or Thing at all able to take hold of thy Will and captivate it; but that it may be sincere and purged from all Creatures. Nay, further, if it should be required, thou must be willing and ready to forsake all thy temporal honour and profit for Christ's sake, and regard nothing that is earthly so as to set thy heart and affections upon it; but esteem thyself in whatsoever state, degree and condition thou art, as to worldly rank and riches, to be but a servant of G.o.d, and of thy fellow-Christians; or as a steward in the office wherein thy Lord hath placed thee. All arrogance and self-exaltation must be humbled, brought low, and so annihilated that nothing of thine own or of any other Creature may stay in thy Will to bring the thoughts or imagination to be set upon it.

Thou must also firmly impress it on thy mind that thou shalt certainly partake of the promised Grace in the Merit of Jesus Christ, viz., of his outflowing Love, which indeed is already in thee, and which will deliver thee from thy Creatures, and enlighten thy Will, and kindle it with the Flame of Love, whereby thou shalt have victory over the Devil. Not as if thou couldst will or do anything in thy own strength, but only enter into the suffering and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and take them to thyself, and with them a.s.sault and break in pieces the kingdom of the Devil in thee. Thou must resolve to enter into this way this very hour, and never to depart from it, but willingly to submit thyself to G.o.d in all thy endeavours and doings, that he may do with thee what he pleaseth.

When thy Will is thus prepared and resolved, it hath then broken through its own Creatures, and is sincere in the Presence of G.o.d, and clothed with the Merits of Jesus Christ. It may then freely go to the Father with the Prodigal Son, and fall down in his Presence and pour forth its prayers; and putting forth all its strength in this Divine Work, confess its sins and disobedience; and how far it hath departed from G.o.d. This must be done not with bare words, but with all its strength, which indeed amounteth only to a strong purpose and resolution; for the Soul of itself hath no strength or power to effect any good work.

Now when thou art thus ready, and thy heavenly Father shall see thee coming and returning to him in such repentance and humility, he will inwardly speak to thee, and say in thee; _Behold, this is my son which I had lost, he was dead and is alive again._ And he will come to meet thee in thy mind with the Grace and Love of Jesus Christ, and embrace thee with the beams of his Love, and kiss thee with his Spirit and Strength, and then thou shalt receive Grace to pour out thy confession before him and to pray powerfully. This indeed is the right place where thou must wrestle in the Light of his Countenance. And if thou standest resolutely here and shrinkest not back, thou shalt see or feel great wonders. For thou shalt find Christ in thee a.s.saulting h.e.l.l, and crus.h.i.+ng thy Beasts in pieces, and that a great tumult and misery will arise in thee; also thy secret undiscovered sins will then first awake and labour to separate thee from G.o.d, and to keep thee back. Thus shalt thou truly find and feel how Death and Life fight one against the other, and shalt understand by what pa.s.seth within thyself what Heaven and h.e.l.l are. At all which be not moved, but stand firm and shrink not; for at length all thy Creatures will grow faint, weak, and ready to die; and then thy Will shall wax stronger, and be able to subdue and keep down the evil inclinations. So shall thy Will and Mind ascend into Heaven every day, and thy Creatures gradually die away. Thou wilt get a Mind wholly new, and begin to be a new Creature, and, getting rid of the b.e.s.t.i.a.l Deformity, recover the Divine Image. Thus shalt thou be delivered from thy present Anguish, and return to thy original Rest.

THE POOR SOUL'S PRACTICE

Then the poor Soul began to practise this course with so much earnestness that it conceived it should get the victory presently, but it found that the Gates of Heaven were shut against it in its own strength and power, and it was, as it were, rejected and forsaken by G.o.d, and received not so much as one look or glimpse of Grace from him.

Upon which it said to itself; _Surely thou hast not sincerely submitted thyself to G.o.d. Desire nothing at all of him, but only submit thyself to his judgment and condemnation, that he may kill thy evil inclinations.

Sink down into him beyond the Limits of Nature and Creature, and submit thyself to him, that he may do with thee what he will, for thou art not worthy to speak to him._ Accordingly the Soul took a resolution to sink down, and to forsake its own will; and when it had done so there fell upon it presently the greatest repentance that could be for the sins it had committed; and it bewailed bitterly its ugly shape, and was truly and deeply sorry that the evil Creatures did dwell in it. And because of its sorrow it could not speak one word more in the Presence of G.o.d, but in this repentance did consider the bitter Pa.s.sion and Death of Jesus Christ, viz., what great anguish and torment he had suffered for its sake, in order to deliver it out of its anguish, and change it into the Image of G.o.d. In which consideration it wholly sank down, and did nothing but complain of its ignorance and negligence, and that it had not been thankful to its Redeemer, nor once considered the great love he had shown to it, but had idly spent its time, and not at all regarded how it might come to partake of his purchased and proffered Grace; but instead thereof had formed in itself the images and figures of earthly things, with the vain l.u.s.ts and pleasures of the World. Whereby it had gotten such b.e.s.t.i.a.l inclinations that now it must lie captive in great misery, and for very shame dared not lift up its eyes to G.o.d, Who hid the light of his countenance from it and would not so much as look upon it. And as it was thus sighing and crying it was drawn into the Abyss or Pit of Horror, and laid as it were at the Gates of h.e.l.l there to perish.

Upon which the poor troubled Soul was, as it were, bereft of sense, and wholly forsaken, so that it in a manner forgot all its doings, and would willingly yield itself to Death, and cease to be a Creature. Accordingly it did yield itself to Death, and desired nothing else but to die and perish in the Death of its Redeemer Jesus Christ, who had suffered such torments and death for its sake. And in this peris.h.i.+ng it began to sigh and pray in itself very inwardly to the Divine Goodness, and to sink down into the mere Mercy of G.o.d.

Upon this there suddenly appeared unto it the Love of G.o.d, as a great Light which penetrated through it, and made it exceedingly joyful. It then began to pray aright, and to thank the Most High for such Grace, and to rejoice abundantly that it was delivered from the Death and Anguish of h.e.l.l. Now it tasted of the Sweetness of G.o.d, and of his promised Truth; and how all the evil Spirits which had hara.s.sed it before, and kept it back from the Grace, Love, and inward Presence of G.o.d, were forced to depart from it. The wedding of the Lamb was now kept and solemnised, that is, the n.o.ble _Sophia_ espoused or betrothed herself to the Soul, and the Seal-Ring of Christ's victory was impressed into its Essence, and it was received to be a Child and Heir of G.o.d again.

When this was done the Soul became very joyful, and began to work in this new power, and to celebrate with praise the wonders of G.o.d, and thought thenceforth to walk continually in the same Light, Strength, and Joy. But it was soon a.s.saulted: from _without_ by the shame and reproach of the World, and from _within_ by great temptation, so that it began to doubt whether its ground was truly from G.o.d, and whether it had really partaken of his Grace. For the accuser Satan went to it, and would fain lead it out of its course, and make it doubtful whether it was the true way, whispering thus to it inwardly; _This happy change in thy Spirit is not from G.o.d, but only from thy own imagination._ Also the Divine Light retired in the Soul, and shone but in the inward ground, as fire raked up in embers, so that Reason was perplexed, and thought itself forsaken, and the Soul knew not what had happened to itself, nor whether it had really and truly tasted of the heavenly gift or not. Yet it could not leave off struggling; for the burning Fire of Love was sown in it, which had raised in it a vehement and continual Hunger and Thirst after the Divine Sweetness. So at length it began to pray aright, and to humble itself in the Presence of G.o.d, and to examine and try its evil inclinations and thoughts, and to put them away. By which means the Will of Reason was broken, and the evil inclinations inherent in it were killed and extirpated more and more. This process was very severe and painful to the Nature of the Body, for it made it faint and weak as if it had been very sick; and yet it was no natural sickness that it had, but only the melancholy of its earthly Nature, feeling and lamenting the destruction of its evil l.u.s.ts.

Now when the earthly Reason found itself thus forsaken, and the poor Soul saw that it was despised outwardly and derided by the World, because it would walk no longer in the way of Wickedness and Vanity; and also that it was inwardly a.s.saulted by the accuser Satan, who mocked it, and continually set before it the beauty, riches and glory of the World, and called it a fool for not embracing them; it began to think and say thus within itself: _O eternal G.o.d, what shall I now do to come to Rest?_

THE ENLIGHTENED SOUL MET IT AGAIN AND SPOKE TO IT

While it was in this consideration, the enlightened Soul met with it again, and said: What ailest thou, my Brother, that thou art so heavy and sad!

THE DISTRESSED SOUL SAID

I have followed thy counsel, and thereby attained a ray or emanation of the Divine Sweetness, but it is gone from me again, and I am now deserted. Moreover I have outwardly very great trials and afflictions in the World, for all my good friends forsake and scorn me; and am also inwardly a.s.saulted with anguish and doubt, and know not what to do.

THE ENLIGHTENED SOUL SAID

Now I like thee very well; for now our beloved Lord Jesus Christ is performing that Pilgrimage or Process on Earth with thee and in thee, which he did himself when he was in this World, who was continually reviled, despised, and evil spoken of, and had nothing of his own in it; and now thou bearest his mark or badge. But do not wonder at it, or think it strange; for it must be so, in order that thou mayst be tried, refined, and purified. In this Anguish and Distress thou wilt necessarily hunger and cry after deliverance; and by such Hunger and Prayer thou wilt attract Grace to thee both from within and from without. For thou must grow from above and from beneath to be the Image of G.o.d again. Just as a young plant is agitated by the wind, and must stand its ground in heat and cold, drawing strength and virtue to it from above and from beneath by that agitation, and must endure many a tempest, and undergo much danger before it can come to be a tree and bring forth much fruit. For through that agitation the virtue of the sun moveth in the plant, whereby its wild properties come to be penetrated and tinctured with the solar virtue, and grow thereby.

And this is the time wherein thou must play the part of a valiant soldier in the Spirit of Christ, and co-operate thyself therewith. For now the Eternal Father by his fiery Power begetteth his Son in thee, who changeth the Fire of the Father, namely, the first Principle, or Wrathful Property of the Soul, into the Flame of Love, so that out of Fire and Light (viz. Wrath and Love) there cometh to be one Essence, Being, or Substance, which is the true Temple of G.o.d. And now thou shalt bud forth out of the Vine Christ, in the Vineyard of G.o.d, and bring forth fruit in thy life, and by a.s.sisting and instructing others, show forth thy Love in abundance, as a good tree. For Paradise must then spring up again in thee, through the Wrath of G.o.d, and h.e.l.l be changed into Heaven in thee. Therefore be not dismayed at the temptations of the Devil, who seeketh and striveth for the Kingdom which he once had in thee, but, having now lost it, must be confounded, and depart from thee.

And he covereth thee outwardly with the shame and reproach of the World, that his own shame may not be known, and that thou mayst be hidden to the World. For with thy New Birth or regenerated Nature thou art in the Divine Harmony in Heaven. Be patient, therefore, and wait upon the Lord, and whatsoever shall befall thee, take it all from his hands as intended by him for thy highest good. And so the enlightened Soul departed from it.

THE DISTRESSED SOUL'S COURSE

The distressed Soul began its course now under the patient Suffering of Christ, and depending solely upon the Strength and Power of G.o.d in it, entered into Hope. Thenceforth it grew stronger every day, and its evil inclinations died more and more in it. So that it arrived at length to a high state or degree of Grace; and the Gates of the Divine Revelation and the Kingdom of Heaven were opened to and manifested in it.

And thus the Soul, through Repentance, Faith, and Prayer, returned to its true Rest, and became a right and beloved Child of G.o.d again; to which may He of his infinite Mercy help us all. Amen.

TURNBULL AND SPEARS, PRINTERS, EDINBURGH.