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"But I want you."
"Come to me, then." A slight movement suggested a defiant tilt of her chin.
The verandah itself stood more than two feet above the ground; but instead of going round by the steps, he sprang up on it, flung away his cigar, and stood before her with proffered hands.
She surrendered her own.
"Now?" he asked, smiling.
"No, no."
He stooped and kissed her hair.
"Now, perhaps?"
"Yes, . . almost. Though I'm not sure that you deserve it."
"I don't," he answered humbly, taking the wind out of her sails.
Then objects in the room behind her caught his attention:--her dressing-table, with its silver-backed brushes and hand-gla.s.s, its dainty feminine litter; her blue dressing-gown flung over a chair; and, tucked away in a corner, her small comfortless bed.
"Come out into the garden, away from all this," he said hurriedly, almost angrily. "Why on earth did you drag me up here?"
"Because it's the man's place to come to the woman," she answered, with a demure dignity more provocative than tenderness. "It has been too much the other way round between us lately. As one has to suffer from the drawbacks of being a woman, one may as well enjoy the advantages also."
"And having enjoyed them, will you graciously condescend to come out there with me?"
"But yes; of course I will."
He turned on his heel; and they went out together. In the strong Indian moonlight her soft blue dinner-dress, sweeping the gra.s.s behind her, was blanched to a silvery pallor; her bare neck and arms gleamed like marble touched into life; and unconsciously she swayed a little towards him as she walked, like a tall flower in a breeze. The radiant mystery of earth and sky, the scarcely less radiant mystery of womanhood beside him, conspired with her veiled mood of gentle aloofness to strike his defences from him. But he kept his hands in his pockets by way of safeguard; and because he had small skill in broaching a difficult subject, he held his tongue.
Half-way across the lawn, she came deliberately closer.
"You know, you hurt me cruelly this afternoon, Eldred."
"Did I, la.s.s? That was abominable of me. But you must make allowances, even if you don't understand. I'm a man, and you're a woman. That seems to be the root of the difficulty. And now I'm half afraid I may hurt you again."
"Why?"
"Because I'm a clumsy brute; and I do it without meaning to. But I suppose it's plain to you that we can't go on much longer as we are doing now?"
"Of course we can't." She let out a breath of relief. "I've been wondering when you were going to see that."
"I have seen it all along. Only, for the life of me, I didn't know how to make the next move. But I have just had a talk with Desmond, . .
about his wife. He wants to send her to Sheik Budeen, the minute she's fit to spend a night in a doolie."
"Where . . and what . . is Sheik Budeen?"
The perceptible change in her tone disconcerted him. But the thing had to be got through; and he went ahead without swerving.
"It is an apology for a Hill Station, about fifty miles north of this.
Just a handful of bungalows, on an ugly desolate rock, rising straight out of the plain. No trees; no water, except what they collect in a tank for use. But being nearly four thousand feet up, it's a few degrees cooler than this: and probably after a week or two there Mrs Desmond would be fit to stand the journey to Dalhousie."
It was characteristic of him that he made no attempt to soften facts: and Quita, edging a little away from him, lifted her head.
"Is it settled when one is to start for this inviting spot?" she asked, critically examining a distant star.
"In a few days, if Mackay agrees. Poor Desmond, he hates letting his wife go. But for her sake he wants to get her away from here as soon as possible."
"I see. And you want to get me away from here as soon as possible.
It's a very convenient arrangement for you both."
Her implication stabbed him. He stood still, and faced her; his eyes full of pain. But he made no attempt to touch her: which was a mistake.
She stood still also,--head uplifted, hands clasped behind her,--without discontinuing her scrutiny of the heavens.
"By the Lord, you are hitting back harder than I deserve," he reproached her desperately. "At least you might believe of me all that I said of Desmond, . . that it is for your sake, and that I shall hate letting you go. The suggestion was entirely his own. He asked me to tell you, from him, that you would be doing them both a very real kindness by going with Mrs Desmond; and I thought . . you would be glad of a chance to help either of them; especially since you must know, after all I said at Kajiar, that it is impossible . . yet for us to start fair and square."
It was a long speech for Eldred, and it brought her down from the stars.
"Naturally I am delighted to do anything on earth for the Desmonds,"
she said sweetly, ignoring his final remark. "You speak as if I might refuse to go. But I haven't fallen quite so low as that."
"Quita, have you _no_ mercy on a man?" he flashed out between anger and pain. "There has never been any question of 'falling' on your side, and you know it. But surely you understand that, in spite of all that has happened between, what I dared not to do a month ago, I dare not do now."
"Do you mean . . is . . the trouble not any less?"
"No."
"But I thought you were going . . to fight it?"
"So I am; so I shall, till I break it, or it breaks me. But look back over the past few weeks, and ask yourself if I have had much of a chance so far."
She unclasped her hands and looked up at him, speech hovering in her eyes. But she dropped them again, and stood so, with bowed head, s.h.i.+fting her rings nervously up and down her slim third finger.
"Dear la.s.s, what's troubling you?" he asked. "We've got to understand one another to-night; so don't be afraid to speak out. Better make a clean wound and have done with it, than think hard things of me that may be unjust. Tell me the thought I saw in your eyes."
"I was thinking of something Michael said." She spoke in an even voice without looking up.
"Michael? Well . . what was it?" Anxiety sharpened his tone.
"He said that if . . if you really . . wanted me back again, your conscientious scruples would be swept away like straws before a flood.
I wouldn't believe him then. But now . . I'm afraid it's true."
"Confound the man! What does he know about my scruples?" Lenox broke out with irrepressible vehemence; and she looked up quickly.
"Please don't be violent, Eldred. You told me to speak out. Besides, Michael is my brother."