Ebrietatis Encomium Part 8

I shall make no comment upon these words, only insert one already made, which I take from M. Duchat in his Remarks on Rabelais[4]. On these words of Saint Augustin, says he, mentioned in the second part of the Decretals, caus. 32, q. 2, c. 9, the commentator says, "And this is an argument for the Normans, English, and Poles, that they may drink largely, that the soul may not live in the dry. _Et est argumentum pro Normannis, Anglicis, et Polonis, ut possint fort.i.ter bibere, ne anima habitet in sicco._ To which Peter Chatelain, a Flemish physician, made this pleasant addition, It is very probable, that the commentator was an entire stranger to the nature of the Flemings. _Verisimile est glossatorem ignora.s.se naturam Belgarum._"

And, perhaps, this argument from St. Augustine's words, is as just as one of a merry fellow I knew, who would prove, from St. Paul's going to the Three Taverns[5], That he loved a hearty bottle.

Amongst the Bishops, I cannot instance a more ill.u.s.trious example of a great drinker than that of Pontus de Thiard. We are told[6], "That this gentleman, after having repented of the sins of his youth, came to be bishop of Chalons sur Soane; but, however, he did not renounce the power of drinking heartily, which seemed then inseparable from the quality of a good poet. He had a stomach big enough to empty the largest cellar; and the best wines of Burgundy were too gross for the subtility of the fire which devoured him. Every night, at going to bed, besides the ordinary doses of the day, in which he would not suffer the least drop of water, he used to drink a bottle before he slept. He enjoyed a strong, robust, and vigorous health; to the age of fourscore.

[Footnote 1: Thuan. p. 447.]

[Footnote 2: Perron, p. 387.]

[Footnote 3: Pet.i.t Nepaenth, p. 137.]

[Footnote 4: Liv. i. ch. 5.]

[Footnote 5: Acts, cap. xxviii. v. 15.]

[Footnote 6: Rep. des Lett. Febr. 1687, art. 7.]

CHAP. XII.

A CATALOGUE OF SOME ILl.u.s.tRIOUS TOPERS.

Since, according to Horace's observation, every one conforms himself to the example of the prince.

"Regis ad exemplum totus componitur orbis."[a]

And that, according to Seneca's maxim, one must regulate one's conduct by ill.u.s.trious models.

"Vita est inst.i.tuenda ill.u.s.tribus exemplis."

It must not be wondered at that people so generally get drunk, since in this they follow the examples of great kings, amongst whom are very few that this verse of Ovid, which Guy Patin applied to Naudaeus and Ga.s.sendi, agrees with[1].

"Vina fugit gaudetque meris abstemius undis."[1a]

Flies wine abstemious, but the limpid stream, Pure and unmixed, his thirsty heat subdues.

And, perhaps, this is the reason, why in comedies they bestow crowns to those that are drunk.

---------- Quid ego video PS. c.u.m corona ebrium pseudolum meum[2].

And in Amphytrion, Mercury says,

Ibo inter et capiam ornatum qui potius decet.[2a]

"I'll go in and take the ornament which better becomes me." For he had said a little before,

Capiam coronam in caput, a.s.simulabo me esse ebrium.[2a]

I'll put a crown upon my head, and feign myself drunk.

Lipsius[3] furnished me with these examples.

But I should never have done, if I endeavoured to give a list of all the kings that got drunk.

-------- "Quorum si nomina quaeras Promptius expediam quot amaverat Hippia maechos, Quot themison aegros autumno occiderat uno[4]."

-------- Whose names, if you require, With greater expedition could I tell, To Hippia's l.u.s.t how many prostrate fell; How many only in one autumn died, By doctors, and their slip-slops ill applied.

I shall content myself, therefore, to instance some of the most ill.u.s.trious, as they come into my mind, without observing any certain order.

Alexander the Great first offers himself to my imagination. It will be sufficient to mention his name, without saying any more. _Nomen non amplius addam._

Caesar, to make use of Balzac's words, was not always the sober destroyer of the commonwealth, and he did not at all times hate the pleasure of drinking.

Cambyses was also very much given to wine, as may be judged by what I am going to say. This prince, having been told by one of his courtiers, That the people took notice he got drunk too often, taking, some time after, his bow and arrow, shot the son of that courtier through the heart, saying no more than this to the father, Is this the act of a drunkard?

Darius, the first king of Persia, had these words put upon his tomb:--

Vinum multum bibere potui idque perferre.

I could drink much wine and bear it well.

King Antigonus may come in here. aelian reports of this prince, That one day when he was much in drink, meeting Zeno the philosopher, whom he had a great kindness for, he kissed him, and promised to give him whatever he would desire. Zeno only answered very mildly, Go and ease your stomach by vomiting, that's all I ask of you at present.

Philip, king of Macedon, got drunk sometimes; witness what a woman, whom he had not done justice to, said to him, viz. I appeal from Philip drunk, to Philip when sober.

Dionysius[5] the younger, tyrant of Sicily, was sometimes drunk for nine days successively; he drank himself almost blind, and the lords of his court, to flatter him, pretended they themselves could scarce see, so that they neither eat nor drank but what he reached to them.

Tiberius was called Biberius, because of his excessive attachment to drinking; and, in derision, they changed his surname of Nero into Mero.

Bonosus was a terrible drinker, if one may give any credit to his own historian, Flavius Vopiscus. He used to make amba.s.sadors, that came to him from foreign powers, drunk, in order, by that means, to discover their secret instructions.

Maximin[6], the father, drank very often a pot containing two gallons.

One might very well, therefore, have given him this epitaph:--

Hic jacet amphora vini.

Trajan and Nerva, those excellent princes, took sometimes a pleasure in getting drunk.

Galerius Maximinus, who, according to Aurelius Victor, was a prince of sweet temper, and loved men of probity and letters, had a very great pa.s.sion for wine, and frequently got drunk. Having once given orders when he was in this condition, which he repented of when sober, he solemnly forbad any one to obey such orders that he should give when he should get drunk for the future.

[[Footnote a: Claudian, _De Quarto Consulatu Honorii Augusti_ (VIII) 300.]]

[Footnote 1: Esprit de Pat. p. 22.]