The Puddleford Papers Part 27

CHAPTER XXII.

Appeal of Case Filkins _vs._ Beadle.--Turtle's Affidavit and "P'ints."--Longbow's Return.--County Court.--Turtle opens his Law "P'ints."--Bates replies.--A Fight.--Collateral Ish-ers.--Squire Longbow present.--The Court sustains Squire Longbow.--Turtle gets into a Pa.s.sion.--Impanelling the Jury.--Mr. Buzzlebaum leaves.--Mr. Tumbleton upsets Ike.--Mr. Flummer is cut short bob off.--Ike opens to the Jury.--The Trial.--Charge of the Court.--Jury retire.--Can't agree.

Among the causes that were found in the county court for trial was the appeal of Filkins against Beadle. Turtle had carried it up. He had informed the court and the jury, when he argued the cause below, that he would carry it up if he didn't get a verdict, and he was as good as his word. Turtle was a long-winded attorney, and what he lacked in brains he made up in bottom. He could worry out any opponent in Puddleford, and drive the man against whom he had no case into a settlement, or starve him out. Turtle often said that "a man's peace was worth something, and he who wouldn't buy his peace, orter sweat. La' was la', and if a man didn't want to pay for it, he ought to keep out of it." It was necessary, at the time we speak of, for any party who desired an appeal, to make out an affidavit, stating the errors below. Mr. Turtle was a host on an affidavit. He could raise and swear to more "p'ints" than any man in Puddleford.

Turtle's affidavit was a curiosity. It covered _all_ the "p'ints," as he called them--"all the 'ish-ers' of law and all the '_ish_-ers' of fact."

According to this doc.u.ment, he set up error in the judgment below:--

1. "'Cause the justis' had counselled with the defendant, and had sworn to go for her anyhow.

2. "'Cause the justis' allowed Sile Bates, one of the jurymen, to leave the jury, and pettifog for Charity Beadle.

3. "'Cause there wern't but five jurymen to try the cause, and there had orter been six.

4. "'Cause counsel hadn't mor'n half got through arguing the case to the jury, when the justis' shut them off, and forcibly sent out the jury to deliberate on their verdict.

5. "'Cause the justis' err'd in everything from the beginnin' to the end of the cause.

6. "'Cause he 'low'd Charity Beadle's set-off, which was agin all kind-er law, and never heer'd on in the books.

7. "'Cause the justis' drank liquor while he was tryin' the cause.

8. "'Cause the justis' got inter a pa.s.sion while he was tryin' the cause.

9. "'Cause the jury got drunk while they were tryin' the cause.

10. "'Cause liquor was sold clus by the court room all the time they were tryin' the cause.

11. "'Cause one of the jurymen warn't fit to sarve--he bein' no voter--or if he was, he never had voted.

12. "'Cause, as he understood, the jury flopp'd a copper to see who should win the cause.

13. "And, finally, the verdict warn't no verdict, 'cause the jury didn't agree."

Here were "p'ints" enough to overthrow the most righteous cause in the world. This affidavit was filed before Squire Longbow, within the time prescribed by statute, as appeared by the return of the magistrate to the county court, and the _return_ itself of Squire Longbow was also spread out as large as life on the files of the same.

If there was anything that Squire Longbow _did_ pride himself upon, it was his returns to county court. He had often said, "that he would like to see the man who could pick a flaw in one of his papers." He said "that none of his decisions had ever been 'squashed' by the upper courts. He knew what la' was, and when a man _knew_ the law, he would allers be sustained."

I do not know as it is worth while to give the full return of the Squire to the threatening array of legal objections found in Turtle's affidavit. He argued every one of them as if his very existence, both as a man and a magistrate, depended on the result. In substance, he returned to the first point,--

"That of course he counselled some with both of the parties. He didn't want folks quarrellin' 'bout nothin'--a-spendin' their time and their money--and how could he know anything about the case, if the parties didn't tell him.

He was a sworn officer, bound to do his duty, or throw up--if he should ish-er papers for everybody that axed him to, without lookin' into the case, he wouldn't do nothin' but try causes. _His_ time was worth sumthin', as well as other folkses. It was his business to see that every plaintiff had a case, and that every defendant had a defence. Turtle counsell'd with him first, and he tho't Turtle had a case--but he lied to him, or was greatly mistaken, at any rate--Miss Beadle counsell'd next, and he then saw it was all up with Turtle, but it was too late to stop proceedings, for the summons had gone out, and couldn't be stopp'd; if it could-er been, he'd stopp'd it."

To the second point, the Squire returned,--

"That he _did_ 'low Sile Bates to leave the jury, and 'pear as counsel for Charity Beadle--that _that_ was const.i.tutional right--right-er counsel in all crim'nal cases, thank the Lord, was presarv'd yet--and the case was a crim'nal case, or a kind-er crim'nal case--'twarn't for debt, and must be crim'nal. _He_ couldn't choose counsel for anybody--thank the Lord that was a personal right--Charity Beadle had the right to choose her _own_ counsel--it warn't none of his business who she took--how could any one take her counsel away from her by putting him outer a jury--that would destroy the const.i.tution itself. If the court would jist look inter Story on the const.i.tution, he'd see how that was; and if he ever did make a righteous decision, _that_ was a righteous decision. The woman sav'd her case by it--for if she hadn't _had any_ counsel, the greatest injustice would-er come on't--maybe the jury would-er 'greed--and _she_--n.o.body knows where she would-er been now."

To the third point he returned,--

"''Cause there wern't but five jurymen,' it is said. Well, there _warn't_.

What of it? Five were jist as good in this case, as six; 'cause if five couldn't agree, how could six?'"

To the fourth point, as follows,--

"He did choke off counsel while they were argerin' the cause to the jury, and swore the officer and sent out the jury to deliberate. He'd do it agin, under like circ.u.mstances. They vi'lated the dignity of the court--there wern't no order nor nothin'--everything went on hurly-burly--there was more racket than if there was a town-meetin'. One thing there had got-ter be, and that was order in his court--he might-er sent them all to jail for contempt--but he wanted to be mild with 'em--he didn't allers think it best to go to the length of the la'--two counsel talkin' to the jury at onct was agin all la'--it was a great contempt of court--they'd orter been fin'd ten dollars apiece--but he didn't want-er fine 'em--he took a shorter course--he acted in his discretion--and he had a discretion in sich cases--any other court would-er done as he did, or worse, maybe. So long as he was magistrate, he meant to be magistrate--and his court was a court--and that thing people had got-ter find out, sooner or later."

To the fifth point, as follows,--

"He'd jist submit that to the higher court."

To the sixth point, as follows,--

"He did let in the set-off of Charity Beadle, and he did it, arter examinin' all the 'thorities on that p'int. He consulted Squire Brown, too, who did business down inter the State of New York, as justis', more'n ten years, and who had a great many jist sich cases afore him. The Squire said it was la' there, and had bin ever sin' he was a boy--and York la' was good la' anywhere. Story was dead for 'lowin' sich kind-er set-offs, and his works were all in favor on't--and it would be a likely p'int for anybody to set up that sich a set-off couldn't be allow'd. Filkins sues for so much money for so many slanders--now, then, he would jist like to know, if five slanders are worth ten dollars to _her_, if five slanders wouldn't be worth ten dollars to Charity Beadle--and if one ten dollars ain't jist as good as another ten dollars--he would like to know if one don't suffer jist as much as t'other--and if one hadn't orter be paid jist as much as t'other. If you go lyin' round 'bout me, you've got to pay, but if I go lyin' round 'bout you, I hain't got-ter pay--he'd like to know what justis' there was in all that--he didn't b'lieve Turtle thought so himself, but he was allers tryin'

to bull-rag the court--and he warn't goin' to be bull-ragg'd by him nor n.o.body else."

To the seventh point, as follows,--

"He didn't know whether Mr. Turtle meant to be personal or not. He didn't know whether he meant to say, right out, that he was drunk, or not. If he did, he was a liar. He had no right to slander him onter the public records of the higher courts, in that sort-er way. What if he did drink? he had a right to drink--that was his business--when anybody can say that Squire Longbow is unfit for business from 'licker,' then there's time 'nough to blow out at him, and not afore--he shouldn't notice that p'int any furder."

To the eighth point, as follows,--

"'Got inter a pa.s.sion?' He _did_ rise in his wrath onct or twict, to presarve the order of the court. He warn't goin' to sit and be trampled on.

He was de-_tar_-min'd that justis' should take its course, if he had to fight to do it. He couldn't keep Turtle down any other way--he'd used up all the fines in the staterts agin him, and that wouldn't do--he tore on worse than ever--and he'd jist say here, it was high time the fines were increas'd. He informed the court that Turtle said, 'he hadn't but one eye, and that he couldn't see but a little ways--that he hadn't as many brains as an 'ister--that his head was full-er cobwebs or b.u.mble-bees, he didn't know which--that his judgment warn't good on a common note-er-hand--that he warn't up to the school-marm, for she could read--and that he _did_ get inter a pa.s.sion that the _court_ should have been so trampled upon--for he _would_ presarve the dignity of his court so long as _he_ was magistrate--a great deal depended upon _order_ in court--and when everything was a-goin'

topsy-turvy, there warn't no justis'--he should allers, use jist as much force as was necessary to presarve order--and get into a pa.s.sion, too, if he wanted to."

To the ninth point, as follows,--

"He didn't know whether the jury were drunk or not--that's _their_ biz-ness, not his'n--they could answer for themselves on that p'int; and if Mr. Turtle wanted to know how that was, he'd better ax 'em; he warn't a-goin' to--he never took away any of the priv'leges of the jury--they were sacred things to him. When he tried cases, he did as _he_ was a mind-ter, and the jury did as _they_ were a mind-ter--if they wanted to drink, he wouldn't interfere--'twas out of his jurisdiction--he never did dabble with a jury, nor he never would--but he would say that the jury 'peared very well, listened to all the evidence as men should--stay'd out long 'nough to consider on the evidence and gin in a verdict, he verily believed, 'cordin'

to their oath."

To the tenth point, as follows,--

"Licker might-er bin sold _clus_ to the court-room--but it warn't sold _in_ the court-room--that he'd never 'low'd since he was a justice--every man who drank, went inter the _bar_-room, and thar was a strong _pe_-t.i.tion and a clus door atween the two rooms--he wouldn't-er 'low'd a drop in the court-room--he had allers bin very keerful 'bout that--they did drink onct or twict, but it was in the _bar_-room--the trial was very long and very troublesome--and the jury got dry--but they drank every time in the _bar_-room, and not in the court-room--and he was _keer_-ful every time they _did_ drink, to 'journ the court, to save all questions--and he would say that Turtle drank as often as anybody--and onct, certainly, he moved to 'journ the court for to drink, and nothin' else--and now he goes up to the higher court, and makes a fuss 'bout it--the staterts said there should be no licker sold _in the room_ where the court is held--not _out_ of it, nor in the next room--and he'd allers bin a la'-'bidin' man, and allers meant to be."

To the eleventh point, as follows,--

"He didn't know whether the juryman was a voter or not--'twas _none of his_ bizness--best known to himself--if he set, knowin' he warn't a juryman, he orter to be proceeded agin by the next grand jury."

To the twelfth point as follows,--

"How in airth did he know anything 'bout floppin' coppers--he warn't thar--he warn't a juryman--he was the court--they might-er flopped for all he knew--but he had seen Mr. Swipes, who was one of the men who set, and he says thar warn't a copper flopped."

To the thirteenth point, as follows,--

"There _was_ a verdict, and it was recorded on his docket--it was, 'that the jury couldn't agree, one of 'em standin' out 'cause he was a-feared or wanted to be pop'lar with somebody;' and that was jist as it was gin in."