The Ghost Breaker: A Melodramatic Farce in Four Acts Part 8

DUKE. I do.

JARVIS. Well, what do you think about that? Ghosts---- That's a pretty broad term, your Excellency. Can you tell me just what you believe this ghost is?

DUKE. There are certain occult forces in this world, Mr. Warren, that science cannot fathom, and some of them are manifested in that castle now. A priest might call it a demon or a fiend; a psychologist, perhaps a returning spirit. I can't say--but I know there is something real, a malignant force which lurks in that castle, and while it haunts those halls, it is madness for any man to expose himself there.

JARVIS. Have you ever seen this ghost?

PRINCESS. My brother has.

JARVIS. What?

PRINCESS. Twice.

JARVIS. Good night!

PRINCESS. So has my father, and the others when they disappeared. No one has seen it three times and lived.

JARVIS. (_Interrupting and looking at_ DUKE) In just what way do you connect this spook with the treasure?

DUKE. Spook? I see no connection. What do you mean?

JARVIS. Oh, there is always money where the ghost walks.

DUKE. I don't know what your experience has been, Mr. Warren. You are evidently a brave man--but you have yet to encounter a real ghost.

JARVIS. Brave! It takes no bravery to fight a coward. That is what this ghost is--it's a coward like every other ghost. I tell you that men are not half so afraid of spirits as spirits are afraid of men. Face the supernatural--and it is beaten to a frazzle before the fight begins.

Spooks--horse-thieves--and peevish wild-cats can all be tamed by the same little charm.

PRINCESS. (_Mystified_) Charm?

DUKE. (_Leaning forward_) What is it?

JARVIS. I'd hate to tell you. It's part of my system. (_Taking out pistol._)

DUKE. (_Scornfully_) I had been hoping, Mr. Warren, that you had some subtle method of handling this problem, but you evidently propose to meet the forces of the supernatural with firearms. I--I may tell you that this specter has been shot at before without the slightest effect.

JARVIS. (_Smiling_) Quite likely, your Excellency. I have seen rifle fire that had not the slightest effect on a wild-cat for the very reason that the firing was wilder than the cat.

DUKE. (_As though pitying him_) I am sorry for you Mr. Warren. You will find the ghost more real than the treasure.

PRINCESS. (_Rising_) But the treasure is real, Carlos. Would I have crossed the ocean for this locket unless I knew? Why, with this paper anybody--a total stranger--could walk right up to the very stone that hides it----

JARVIS. (_Meaningly_) Pretty dangerous paper to have around. Look out somebody does not get there ahead of you.

DUKE. (_Meaningly to_ JARVIS) Yes, it is a dangerous paper--if it leads anyone into the castle.

JARVIS. (_Laughingly_) Well, your Excellency, I'd go a long way for the fun of unravelling a good mystery with a little spice of danger thrown in.

DUKE. You needn't have gone so far, Mr. Warren. You are leaving a very unusual case behind you in New York. The papers are full of it. Have you read them? (_Picking up newspaper._) It will interest you too, Cousin.

You were at the Manhattan last night, I believe.

PRINCESS. Yes! (JARVIS _and_ PRINCESS _look at each other and_ DUKE _reads from newspaper._)

JARVIS. Why, no---- (_Glancing at trunk._) I was so wrapped up in my baggage I really didn't have a chance. (_Looks at_ PRINCESS.)

DUKE. "Pistol duel in Manhattan Hotel. Colonel James Marc.u.m, a prominent and wealthy Kentuckian, nearly met his death at five o'clock this morning in a pistol duel in his room at the Manhattan Hotel." (_Glancing down a little further_) "At a late hour the police had no clue to the ident.i.ty of his a.s.sailant, except the remarkable fact that the person is still hiding somewhere in the hotel."

JARVIS. (_Interrupting_) He's probably a long way from the hotel by this time.

DUKE. (_Looking at paper_) They say that he couldn't have gotten out without being seen.

JARVIS. That's the theory of the police or reporters.

DUKE. What do you think?

JARVIS. He might have escaped in a thousand ways--but that work is hardly in my line. That belongs to the "Gum-shoes."

DUKE. Gum-shoes?

JARVIS. Yes, ordinary detectives. (_Enter_ NITA.)

NITA. Excuse, Madame----

PRINCESS. No, Nita! Not just yet. I'll call you when I want you.

JARVIS. We are keeping you from getting settled, I am afraid. (_Cross toward door._) So, if you will excuse me, I'll see you at luncheon, perhaps. Hooray! I am glad to have made your acquaintance, your Excellency.

DUKE. Thank you, Mr. Warren, I find you most interesting. I shall be glad to hear more of your remarkable profession. (WARREN _crosses to door and opens it, disclosing two detectives and steward._)

DETECTIVE. Are you Miss M. T. Ar--ra--gan?

PRINCESS. (L.C.) Yes!

DETECTIVE. You was at the Manhattan Hotel last night?

PRINCESS. Yes.

DETECTIVE. The lock on your door was broken?

PRINCESS. Yes.

DETECTIVE. (_Removes hat_) I am from headquarters, Madame, and I have orders to clear up one or two little matters with that affair at the hotel last night.

DUKE. Orders, orders! To break in here--what headquarters?

DETECTIVE. Police headquarters.

DUKE. Do you know whom you are addressing?