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Chapter 182: Those who stab you in the back (1)
TL: emptycube / ED: Isleidir
My steps abruptly halted.
A few steps away, Lee Songha was staring up at me and Jung Jae. Our eyes met. I unconsciously put more strength into my toes. I felt like I was walking down a long, dark tunnel alone.
"Are you okay?"
I quickly went down the stairs when Lee Songha raised her hand.
"Don't come over here."
"What?"
"I broke a gla.s.s. Stay there because there are gla.s.s shards."
She said in her normal voice before scrubbing the marble step with her left high h.e.l.l. The sound of shattering gla.s.s was unpleasant. Lee Songha brushed her hair to the side. Her nicely arranged hair became untidy.
"I'll clean it up before someone gets hurt."
"Wait. Jae, go tell Kwanwoo about this."
Taken aback, Jung Jae, who was on her way down, quickly ran up to the fifth floor.
I looked back at Lee Songha and asked,
"Are you hurt anywhere? If it broke, you should have avoided it. Why did you step on it?"
"I was lost in my thoughts for a second. I'm fine."
Lee Songha bent her knees a few times as if to prove it. I examined her leg that extended out from her skirt. Fortunately, I didn't see any blood… Or so I thought. Her stocking ripped and a strand sprung off. Lee Songha stealthily moved her leg back.
"I'm not hurt."
"Not hurt? First…"
I trailed off. I heard someone make a fuss downstairs and people began to gather. They were busy trying to get in an extra word to Lee Songha, asking her if she was fine or if she was hurt. Lee Songha pressed her cheeks.
"I think I had too much champagne. I slipped."
"Oh my! It's good that you didn't fall!"
"Ah, if I did, I would have rolled and gracefully gotten up."
"What? Roll?"
"I learned gymnastics while filming Alive."
There was no need for me to intervene. She skillfully settled the crowd by explaining the situation and playing it off with a laugh. As expected, she felt unfamiliar. Even though CEO Baek Hansung wasn't here, she seemed so unfamiliar to me.
"Songha."
I acted before more people gathered.
"Gla.s.s pieces might have gotten into your stockings. Go downstairs and have a closer look."
"Yes."
Leaving her in Neptune's care, I cleaned up the broken gla.s.s and calmed down the worrying people. I then went down to the second-floor bas.e.m.e.nt. I heard voices in the practice room in the bas.e.m.e.nt, which was dark because people had left early for the party.
Lee Songha was sitting on the floor, and Im Seoyoung was touching her leg.
"Hey, you're lucky you weren't hurt! How can you throw a gla.s.s just because you had nothing else to throw?"
"I told you. I didn't throw it, it dropped."
Lee Taehee held Lee Songha's face, who was in denial.
"Let's see. Are you drunk?"
"I guess."
Lee Songha pressed her cheek against Lee Taehee's hand. Im Seoyoung snorted,
"As if! You, the same girl who drank wild ginseng wine with unni, drunk after a couple gla.s.ses of champagne?"
"The alcohol today is different. You get drunk more easily on days like this."
"Don't you try to sell snake oil! Did your trauma reappear after seeing Son Chaeyoung?"
"Trauma?"
Lee Songha slowly rolled the word in her mouth. Then she mumbled,
"I don't feel anything when I see Son Chaeyoung anymore. Rather…"
"Rather? What?"
Lee Songha shook her head and changed the subject.
"Ah, I'm drunk. I want to see oppa."
"Look."
I said while entering the room. At least shoulders flinched.
"Let me talk with Songha."
"Uhh, then should we stand on guard?"
Im Seoyoung got up.
"Why would I need you to stand guard?"
"B-because something might occur that shouldn't be discovered by others?"
"Nothing like that'll happen. We're just going to talk. Just close the door. Also…"
"We'll have a drink from the vending machine."
LJ said instead. Her smiling eyes had an impertinent air.
"There could be people whose imaginations will run wild if we appear by ourselves. Like her."
"What about me?!"
Im Seoyoung and LJ left first, and Lee Taehee closed the door behind her. The practice room became quiet. I examined her leg, devoid of any scratches, and opened my mouth to speak.
"To be honest, I'm a bit confused."
Lee Songha spoke first.
"I might have thrown it. Since I wanted to."
"Because I asked Jae if she wanted acting lessons?"
"Yes."
She frankly replied as her gaze fell to the floor.
"It made me think of the past. When you asked me if I had any thoughts on acting. Right here, in this practice room. That memory was always vivid like it only happened yesterday, but it suddenly felt like it was such a long time ago. And I thought about Son Chaeyoung."
Son Chaeyoung?
After taking a breath, Lee Songha continued,
"Because of that… I can understand why Son Chaeyoung hated me."
"What?"
"Do you think she'll be better than me at acting?"
She asked in a crumbling voice. Like someone enduring a chill, Lee Songha wrapped her arms around herself. Her fingers holding onto her forearms were white. Tears hung on the corners of her lowered eyelashes.
My mouth tasted bitter. So much that it was difficult to swallow.
It was simply a casual suggestion. Just because I happened to remember that people called Jung Jae 'the Second Lee Songha' in the future vision I saw in the past. Reporters might have exaggerated because she was the center of a rising girl group, but I was curious if she really had talent in acting.
If she showed talent after a few lessons, I would foster it, but if not, I would have made her focus on her singing career. I only brought it up to figure that out. Did that sound like a death sentence to Lee Songha?
"I know I'm weird."
Lee Songha whispered like she was making a confession.
"I'm trying to become normal. Because I can't become like Son Chaeyoung."
Another voice overlapped with hers in my mind.
CEO Baek Hansung's voice, which was embedded deep in my mind.
'… That's why most of them depend on something. That could be drugs, alcohol, or the like… Or someone. Make her depend on you. So that she doesn't turn her gaze to something else.'
I knew how Lee Songha felt about me. I also knew that it was so complicated and tangled that it would be difficult to explore every aspect of that emotion. Because I played a part in it. Even though I knew she was excessively unconditional and had an obsessive side to her.
To make her depend and lean on me above all else.
I licked my dry lips and said,
"You are different from Son Chaeyoung."
"… I wish that was true."
Lee Songha raised her head.
"Oppa, I'll handle my schedule with another chief from now."
The words I was about to say to her were all pushed aside.
"I know that you are barely managing my schedule. I know, but I keep thinking, 'only a bit more,' and it has come this far. You'll be much busier from now, so you don't need to take care of my schedule. I'll stand on my own."
Stand on your own?
"Also, if, from another team… If there's a chief from Team 2 who wants to work with me, that's fine too. That's something I'll have to experience anyways."
She's fine with me handing her over to another team's chief?
Anger suddenly surged. It was so severe that the unpleasantness I had felt until was almost cute. My emotions were so turbulent that I felt sick. I swallowed dryly and rubbed the corner of my lips.
I was in no position to think Lee Songha's situation was unique. If I had a champagne flute in my hand right now, it might have shattered into more pieces that Lee Songha's.
The suspicions and caution that had acc.u.mulated over the past few days finally burst.
"Did the CEO tell you to do that?"
"Huh?"
"Son Chaeyoung's matter. And now you. Did the CEO order you?"
My mind was a mess, but the words coming out of my mouth flowed so smoothly that it was surprising.
Lee Songha blinked her eyes, taken aback.
"Order?"
"Or threatened."
Threatened.
Finally spitting out that word, which was dwelling in my mind all this time, my suspicions seemed to grow even larger.
What kind of person was CEO Baek Hansung? Was he a good person or a bad one?
My future self said that he became disenchanted with CEO Baek Hansung's methods and left W&U. He then corrected himself, saying that it would have been better to stay under CEO Baek Hansung. That, in a world full of black-hearted people, a man like him was still grey.
CEO Baek Hansung, who I had observed until now, was talented and even reliable at times. Also, Son Chaeyoung described him to be someone who tied celebrities under his company by finding their weakness.
If I became disenchanted with CEO Baek Hansung's methods, then I…
"Why do you think that?"
Lee Songha asked with a strange expression.
"What did you hear? What I told you last time was really all. What I said to you were purely my own thoughts. There weren't any threats or anything. Why would the CEO do something so extreme?"
Why?
Because Lee Songha grew big enough that people referred to a walking one-person company. Because she grew big enough that CEO Baek Hansung called her W&U's poster star. There were only three years left on her seven-year exclusive contract, and the CEO and his executives were probably thinking and preparing for the future.
Also, because CEO Baek Hansung might be someone who was more comfortable with threatening someone than persuading them.
Like me.
"You, that photo. The one that was taken with me."
"That… photo?"
Lee Songha abruptly looked shocked like someone who had just been hit. Her torso staggered backwards.
"If that photo is something that's holding you down, I can-"
"No! That photo is ju-just an embarra.s.sing past. It's not something that can hold me down. It's something I can simply close my eyes and handle if it ever got released."
"Really?"
"Yes, why are you suddenly worried about that?"
I repeatedly confirmed it while nodding my head. She didn't look like she was acting. Was Lee Songha someone who could fool someone, me, like it was nothing? Was I suffering from obsession? Were there really no secret threats I didn't know?
Even if that was true, would it continue to be the case?
My head ached. I was a walking mental ward.
I sighed and told her,
"Songha, if something like that ever happens, you need to tell…"
"Oppa."
Lee Songha came closer. In a worried voice, she said,
"I'm not as good of a person as you think."
"What?"
"Rather than being threatened, I think about threatening others, no, I'm worried that I will. Also, you don't need to worry about the CEO anymore. I'm not really scared of him anymore."
Lee Songha smiled.
"The only one I'm scared of is you."
The moment I heard that, the thread that had been pulled tight for a long while finally snapped.
It really did seem like we entered summer. It was early in the morning, yet the sun was already out. Lying down and staring at the curtain's fluttering shadow, I grabbed my phone.
Reporters, producers, and writers, who didn't distinguish between night and day, had filled my call history with missed called. I would have checked each one normally, but I pushed them all aside today and called someone. Immediately, I heard a noisy background and a voice.
-What with the busiest person in the world calling me this early in the morning? Are you getting off work now?
"No, it's my day off."
-You get days off? (Dad, what is it? Is it his day off? Hasn't it been a million years since his last one? Let's tell him to come over if it's his day off!) You hear them, right? Even the kids are surprised.
That wasn't surprising to hear since I had worked hard without taking a breath for a while. I didn't even know when the last time I rested an entire day without thinking about work was. My friends were talking about how I've completely disappeared after telling them to think I went back to mandatory military service.
-I heard it'll get easier if you went from a road manager to a chief, but why is it that you get busier by the day? It's been a while since you've gone home too. Do you even have a life? Thirty is just around the corner, yet I haven't heard that you're seeing someone. (Dad! I-I also want to say something!)
Soon, I heard a serious voice from the other side.
-Uncle! On TV, it said that youth is from your teens to your twenties! You won't be young next year!
"Now that you're all past your 'cute' age, you're gross. Be respectful when talking to me."
-Uncle called us gross!
I heard my brother laugh amidst the quadruplets' shouts.
-They are acting like that because they miss you.
"I'm on my way now."
I said while grabbing onto my bed and pulling myself up.
-You're coming? You can?
"Since the project is over, I can take a breather. I need to organize a few things too. About that."
-Huh?
"I have something I want your advice on."
-With me? What kind of advice? About life?
"No, about dating."
/ /
Chapter 183: Those who stab you in the back (2)
TL: emptycube / ED: Isleidir
I started my minivan before turning it off. It made it feel like this was an extension of my work.
I put on prescription-less gla.s.ses and a hat and headed towards the subway station. It has been a long time since I've taken public transit. I hadn't been able to go out this freely since Making Film broadcasted either.
I saw celebrities' faces everywhere I looked on the main street. Outdoor display panels, posters, banners, and billboards.
There was something unique about this normal view to me. Pretty Girls' new song playing from an open café, and a bus stop with a poster of a soda drink that Neptune is negotiating a contract extension with.
Although I had gathered a bunch of posters at home, seeing them outside like this felt completely different. When people showed interest in them, my heart tingled, and I felt proud.
It also gave me the drive to jump up the steep stairs.
When I saw a male actor displayed on the banner of a clothing brand, I hoped Nam Joyoon would become more successful and did something like that as well. When I saw a concert poster, I wanted Neptune to hold their own concert. And when I saw foreigners, I dreamed about Lee Songha's debut into America.
My thoughts extended out like spiderwebs.
When I saw an actor that I had a good impression of, I thought about which company they were currently signed with and wondered when they would be available on the free agent market. When I saw someone with a unique aura, I wondered whether they aspired to be celebrities.
I saw Lee Songha wherever I looked on my way to the station.
There was a poster of her on a contact lens specialty shop, and on the same block, photos of Lee Songha wearing her sponsored earrings and necklace in a jewelry store. She was also in a soju banner at a BBQ restaurant.
Seeing the girls, who I was more familiar with seeing with my own eyes, gave me a strange feeling.
"Wasn't the model for that soju originally Son Chaeyoung? When did they change it to Lee Songha?"
"It's been a while now, you shut-in."
Young men chatted in front of the banner.
"Isn't Son Chaeyoung prettier than Lee Songha? That's what I think."
"Dumba.s.s, it simply comes down to preference between those two."
"I want to date Lee Songha but marry Son Chaeyoung. Lee Songha seems like someone I need to put on a pedestal, but Son Chaeyoung seems more like an elegant lady. Someone who'll put on an ap.r.o.n at home, right?"
Nope, you're wrong.
Elegant lady? Those words will bring you an early death.
"Hey, of course, you need to put Lee Songha on a pedestal if you marry her! They say she earned 10 billion won last year!"
Not that much.
"What useless debate. They'll date and marry celebrities or conglomerate families!"
"What? Can't we even imagine it?"
The chatting men cursed each other as they disappeared.
I stared at Lee Songha's banner momentarily before going on my way.
The subway station was crowded. Only after standing for two stops did I finally find a spot to sit. I put earphones on and pressed my hat down even more. Since I wasn't a celebrity, people would usually stare out of interest when I was discovered, but some weird people appeared on occasion.
I observed people's daily lives through my gla.s.ses.
"Hey, hey, look at the man next, next, next to you. Isn't he Jang Sunwoo?"
Jung Sunwoo you mean.
A woman, who seemed like a university student, poked her friend's side and glanced at me.
"I think so? Check if there's Lee Songha nearby."
"Why would a celebrity ride the subway? They would be in a van or car!"
Our girls ride the taxi a lot too. Sometimes, even scooters.
Thinking about their whispers, a smile unknowing crept up my face. I didn't drive my minivan because it felt like this was an extension of my work, but I kept thinking about the girls and work. Especially Lee Songha. It seemed like she had completely rented out a corner of my mind.
It made me realize that my work was deeply ingrained in my life.
"Uncle!"
"This is soy sauce fried chicken, and this is green onion fried chicken. Eat until you explode."
I threw two chicken as bait to the rus.h.i.+ng quadruplets. I used to be fine when the four of them clung to my arms and legs, but it was impossible now. I didn't dare. They grew up like beansprouts during the time I didn't see them. Has it been two years since I last saw them?
Quickly s.n.a.t.c.hing the chickens from my hands, the kids chattered,
"You want us to eat until we explode? Uncle, are you underestimating us?"
"It's been one chicken for each of us since last year. That's showing proper respect to the chickens!"
What respect? My brother and sister-in-law must be suffering a lot.
"Uncle, when are you planning on making our cousins?"
"Grandma and grandpa were sad, saying how we're all grown up now."
"I hope that our cousins are also quadruplets! Quadruplets are hereditary!"
"Don't say such scary things."
I entered the living room while pressing my head. It was filled with the smell of roasted sesame oil. I heard something boiling and something frying in a pan. It has been a long time since I heard these sounds.
My sister-in-law walked out of the kitchen. She had a bright smile on her face, which looked so young it was unbelievable that she had four children.
"How long has it been? Maybe it's because we've seen you on TV, but you seem like a celebrity!"
"Ah, did you see the broadcast?"
"Of course, we did! The younger coworkers at my work watched it a lot. I was really tempted to tell them that you were my brother-in-law."
"You should have told them. It's not a huge secret."
"I can't. If I tell them, it'll be exhausting for me and a bother for you. They'll definitely make a fuss, asking for someone's autograph. Also, they'll pester me about inviting celebrities to our company track meets or weddings. It's so obvious."
My sister-in-law said bluntly before beaming.
"How's work these days? Is it still fun?"
"Yes, I'm doing it because it's something I enjoy, so it won't do if it's not fun."
"That's good. Go talk with your brother, lunch is almost ready."
As soon as she said that, my brother tossed the book he was reading on the sofa. Then he brought me to the kids' room. The room with the bunk bed was messy. They had put up celebrities' autographs I had gotten for them on the walls, and alb.u.ms were organized on their desk.
"Tell me, what relations.h.i.+p advice? Are you dating someone? Are you thinking about marriage?"
My brother urgently said. For someone who was usually boringly quiet, his eyes were particularly s.h.i.+ning at this moment.
"At your age, you date while thinking of marriage. At your age, I-"
"Had four kids. I know."
I sat down on the floor and leaned against the bed. Then I picked my words. My mind was complicated when I thought about it myself, but I didn't know what to say first.
This was difficult.
"I'm not dating anyone."
"Then is it that, what do you call it, flirting situation? Or one-sided love?"
"This is a bit complicated."
"Is the person a celebrity?"
I nodded.
My brother paused for a moment before cautiously asking,
"A woman? Or a man?"
"… A woman."
It was such an unexpected question that it broke the serious mood.
"No, it's because you said it was complicated. The entertainment industry is open to that. You said that you packed a lot of side dishes for Mr. Nam Joyoon last year too."{1}
"No. It's Songha."
My brother's eyes became as large as saucers. Then he rummaged through the kids' desk and took out Neptune's mini-alb.u.m photobook. He flipped through it and showed me a page. It was a photo of Lee Songha looked at the camera.
"Lee Songha?"
"Is there another Songha around me?"
"Hey, even if you have high standards, isn't that too hi-"
He stopped mid-sentence and got up. He went out of the room and brought in two gla.s.ses of cold water. He was in such a hurry that the tray was overflowing with water. I gulped down the gla.s.s and glanced at the closed door.
Then I began talking about what I had been holding back.
"I think Songha likes me."
"… What? Did she tell you?"
"No, I asked her if she likes me, and she said she didn't. Never. Even if she dies."
My brother, who was listening with bated breath, frowned.
"Then she doesn't."
"But I think she does. At first, I thought she was simply leaning on me, who was helping her out, because she was feeling a lot of pressure. But it's not. The more I look, you would have to be a fool not to notice."
Initially, I simply had my suspicions that she was acting this way because she had this excessive desire to have me to herself like Seo Jijoon and Chief Lee Bongjoon's relations.h.i.+p. But, no matter how I saw it, that wasn't the case. While I wasn't as quick-witted as LJ, I wasn't a complete idiot either.
"When, when did it start?"
"It's a been a while. More than a year."
My brother dumbly gaped his mouth.
"And you acted like you didn't notice all this time?"
"What am I going to do if I acknowledge it?"
I asked back while tilting my head. My brother fixed his gla.s.ses and pondered.
"Ah, you said she told you that she didn't like you. But if you like her back, you could try talking to her. A lot of celebrities date these days. Or is it because she can't have a dating scandal since she's a spokesmodel? Then you can just date in secret."
I shook my head.
"There's no such thing as a secret in this industry. It's only a matter of time."
The paparazzi was growing in the country.
If this broke out, the advertisers would cause a fuss and it'll also negatively impact her image. It'll also slow the growth of her fanbase at an important time. In this industry, someone beloved today could be cast aside tomorrow.
The public's reaction might be less intense if it was Seo Jijoon or Im Joowon, who appeared in the same drama. However, it would be iffy with me. There was no doubt that there would be more negative reactions than positive ones.
However, the bigger problem was…
"If we are in that sort of relations.h.i.+p, then I have to quit being her manager. There'll also be problems at work. If we continue to stick together like we are now, then there'll no end to nasty rumors. And if we break up, it'll be even more difficult to work with Songha."
I stared at Lee Songha's photo.
The time we spent practicing reading her lines, experience hate comments and controversies, and eventually succeed while looking up at the same goal flashed past my eyes.
"So I acted like I didn't notice. It might also be why Songha's vehemently denying it."
Above all other risks, I couldn't bear to risk shattering our current relations.h.i.+p.
Rather than breaking a relations.h.i.+p with someone I would like to work forever for a love relations.h.i.+p that could one day go astray, it was better to bury my feelings.
And I thought about this.
If, after a few more years pa.s.s, I have a firm foundation in this industry and Lee Songha had reached a position where she could bear dating whoever she wanted…
If Lee Songha's feelings didn't change even then…
Maybe…
"You did, but why do you suddenly want advice?"
My brother asked again. The sentiments that filled my mind were wiped away. A familiar snake slithered in their place. I wet my mouth with the cold water before saying,
"I've experienced a change."
"A change?"
"Songha said she wanted to stand on her own. She wants to try working with someone other than me."
The snake shed its skin. The smell was repulsive.
"This is something I should be commending. The fact that Songha is trying to fix her excessive reliance on me. And it's a positive for her. But…"
"But?"
"I didn't like that."
It felt like poison was dripping from my voice.
"I didn't like that Songha would depend on someone other than me. It also bothered me. It makes me want to do something crazy. So I'm a bit confused right now. Is this the normal feelings of love for someone or an excessive possessive desire between a manager and celebrity."
If it was the second one…
I came to the thought that I might be the one who might use Lee Songha's weakness to tie her down and become disillusioned by myself and not CEO Baek Hansung. That I might be someone actually capable of that.
I asked my brother, who looked taken aback, again,
"What do you think this is?"
{1} For context, general awareness of h.o.m.os.e.xuality is increasing in South Korea, but it is not as wide spread as some other countries. Same-s.e.x marriages are not legally recognized in South Korea, according to Wikipedia.
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