Friar Tuck Part 17

"Do you reckon he'd sell it?"

"He'd sell the hair off his head," sez Spider.

"Well, you go back there an'-But say, has Pete got any others?"

"He had ten when I left, an' no knowin' how many he's got by this time. Pete sez 'at guinea-pigs is the prolificest things the' is," sez Spider.

"You buy three of 'em, Spider," sez I; "a male one an' a female one, an' this here freak."

"What do I want with 'em?" sez Spider.

"I'll pay half, an' show you how to make money out of 'em," sez I.

"I don't want to tinker with no such cattle as them," sez Spider.

"You get a fresh pony, an' it won't take you no time at all," sez I.

So Spider got the pony an' went off grumblin'. When he brought 'em back he had 'em in a small box an' they certainly was curious lookin'

insects. "I paid four bits apiece for the male an' the female," sez Spider, "an' twenty-five real dollars for the freak."

"If that's the way prices run," sez I, "it ain't no wonder that guinea-pigs what are ambitious to be popular, are willin' to give up the luxury o' tails."

"Now then, what in thunder are we goin' to do with 'em?" sez Spider.

"Get a fresh pony," sez I, "an' we'll go on over to Boggs."

"You go to the equator!" yells Spider. "I ain't had no sleep for a week."

"Sleep," sez I, "what's the use o' botherin' about sleep? You keep on losin' your strength this way, an' in about a year they'll be trundlin' you around in a baby cart. All right then, you stay home an'

be company for the freak. We'll hide him up in the attic so the rats can't get him."

"Oh I could stand it to go without sleep, if I saw any sense in it,"

sez Spider; "but hanged if I'm goin' to ride my bones through my skin just to please you."

"Suit yourself," sez I. "We'll put the freak in the tin cake-box an'

punch a few holes in it to give him air. I'll do that while you're makin' up your mind about goin' along to Boggs."

"What you goin' to do with the male an' the female?" sez Spider as I started away.

"I'm goin' to sell 'em to Eugene," I calls back over my shoulder, an'

then I knew I'd have company.

"I thought you was goin' to Boggs," sez Spider as soon as we had settled into a travelin' trot. I allus find that I get along easier with people if I just leave 'em one or two items to puzzle over.

"Webb Station is closer," sez I; "an' if this deal causes any hard feelin' it will be just as well not to be mixed up in it ourselves."

"I thought you was goin' to sell these to Eugene?" sez Spider.

"If you'd just go to sleep, Spider," sez I, "it would save your brain the trouble o' thinkin' up a lot o' thoughts which ain't no use anyhow. I'm goin' to let Shorty take 'em over this evenin' an' sell 'em to Eugene."

"How do you know he wants 'em?"

"'Cause I know Eugene," sez I. "I'll fix up Shorty's tale for him."

Well, we explained to Shorty the bettin' principle of guinea-pigs, an'

gave him the pigs, tellin' him he could have all he won from Eugene on the first bet; but to then sell 'em to Eugene without lettin' any o'

the other fellers know anything about it, an' to make Eugene think that he had picked 'em up from a train pa.s.senger, not from us.

Shorty said that he'd go over that afternoon as soon as the pa.s.senger had gone-Shorty was the telegraph operator-so Spider an' I came back, he sleepin' all the way.

"Where do we come in on this deal?" sez Spider next day.

"We'll give Eugene a chance to cut their hair a new way, an' then we'll go over to Boggs an' line things up."

"I'm beginnin' to see how it could be worked out," sez Spider, grinnin'.

In about a week we went over to Boggs, an' found the town purty well deserted. We dropped into ol' man Dort's to compliment Columbus some an' sympathize with Ben Butler a little, while tryin' to hear if Eugene had made his play yet. The ol' man was gloatin' over the fact that Eugene wasn't havin' much trade, but he didn't mention anything about guinea-pigs.

"You don't seem rushed, yourself," sez I.

"Course I ain't," he flares back. "Most o' the fellers are still roundin' up, an' the rest are out huntin' for Red Erickson."

"Red been gettin' thoughtless again?" sez I. Red Erickson was a big Dane who had the habit o' runnin off stock an' shootin' any one who disagreed with him.

The ol' man merely pointed to a paper pinned up on the wall offerin'

fifteen hundred dollars for Red, dead or alive. He hadn't been operatin' on Diamond Dot stuff, so we hadn't paid much heed to him.

We strolled on over to Eugene's an' found him sittin' down an' talkin'

about the peculiar custom o' guinea-pigs; so we knew that he had swallered the bait; but he didn't offer to bet with us.

Then we went back an' asked ol' man Dort if he believed that a guinea-pig's eyes would fall out if he was held up by the tail.

"It's all rot!" sez the ol' man, indignant. "Any one who sez such nonsense never studied the way eyes is fastened in. The tail ain't got nothin' to do with it."

"What kind o' tails has guinea-pigs got?" sez I.

"Why they got-?" sez the ol' man, an' then stopped an' looked blank.

"What kind o' tails have they got?"

"They haven't got any," sez I. "Now listen; would you be willin' to risk a little money to even up with Eugene?"

"I'd risk every thing I got, down to my very hide," sez the ol' man, earnest to a degree.

"Well, then, you play careful an' we'll provide you with the cards,"

sez I. "Eugene has some guinea-pigs, an' he is plannin' to string you on a bet. You come right along just as though you was as ignorant as you look, have a day fixed to decide the bet, let us know, an' for the small sum of fifty dollars we'll provide you with a guinea-pig which has a tail."

"I'll make a pauper out of him," sez the ol' man. "I haven't had a chance to get a bet on Columbus since I owned him."