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Mr. Punch with The Children.
by Various.
NOTE
In the order of our Library "Mr. Punch with the Children" comes last, yet, so continual and sincere has been the interest of the breezy little man in the children, we might well have placed this volume first. The _Punch_ pictures, stories and jests that are concerned with the young folk are almost inexhaustible. The present collection, though containing the cream of them, comes very far indeed from reproducing them all, or even fifty per cent. For every notable artist and writer who has been much a.s.sociated with _Punch_ since 1841 has had something to say or to ill.u.s.trate of the humours of child life. If genius be the power to be a child again at will, we can understand this abiding interest in the doings of the children. MR. PUNCH himself resembles Peter Pan, for he has never grown up. The years roll by, but the jolly little hunchback remains as young as ever.
The variety of individuality in the children, to whom we are here introduced, is noteworthy. In the days of Leech, downright impudence seems to have been a characteristic of the young; to-day it would seem children are better mannered, even if the _enfant terrible_ is still thriving and likely to do so. There are nice children here, and naughty ones; clever and dull children; pretty and ugly children--the mischievous are chiefly memories of last generation! Phil May's children are all clearly of the "gutter snipe" order, in which he delighted, full of character and a somewhat pathetic humour; but how clean and sweet and lovable are Du Maurier's or Mr. Lewis Baumer's! Mr. Raven-Hill seems to be attracted somewhat in the same direction as Phil May; but all are interesting, and their sayings and doings are eminently worthy to be thus permanently gathered into one volume.
[Ill.u.s.tration: Boy (_looking forward to a party in the evening_). "Oh, mummy, baby _is_ naughty! He has taken two things off the calendar, and made it to-morrow!"]
MR. PUNCH WITH THE CHILDREN
[Ill.u.s.tration: A STUDY IN EXPRESSION]
A SERIOUS MATTER.--_Grandfather_ (_to Miss Pansy, who is somewhat flushed and excited_). What's the matter, my pet?
_Miss Pansy_ (_aged eight_). Oh, grandpa, me and my kitten have been having the most awful row. We've often quarrelled before and made it up again, but this time we're not on speaking terms.
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Bobbie_ (_dictating letter to his sister, whom he has "squared" into writing for him_). "Dear Miss Brown, please xcuse Bobbie for not bean at school sinse Tewsday has he as add twothake on Tewsday and on Wednesday he broke is harm and he ad to go to a party yesterday afternoon. If he does not come to-morrow it will be because a boy thrue a stoan at is i.--Yours trooly, Bobbie's mother."]
[Ill.u.s.tration: PRESENCE OF MIND.--_Little Girl_ (_who has been disturbed by a mouse, in a stage-whisper to her sleeping sister_). "Wake up! Oh, wake up and mew, Amy; mew for your life!!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: UNIMAGINATIVE
_Auntie._ "Do you see the hair in this old brooch, Cyril? It was your great-grandfather's."
_Cyril._ "I say, Auntie, he didn't have much!"]
_Auntie._ Well, Effie, did you enjoy your party last night?
_Effie._ Very much, thank you, auntie.
_Auntie._ And I suppose mamma was there to look after you?
_Effie._ Oh no! Mamma and I _don't belong_ to the same set!
[Ill.u.s.tration: NICE NEPHEW!
_Tommy._ "Talking of riddles, Uncle, do you know the difference between an apple and a elephant?"
_Uncle_ (_benignly_). "No, my lad, I don't."
_Tommy._ "You'd be a smart chap to send out to buy apples, wouldn't you?"]
A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE.--"Now go to school, and be a good boy. And mind you don't use any rude words!"
"Rude words! _Tell_ me a few, mummy, and then I shall _know_, you know!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: A "CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR"
_Governess._ "Now, just one more subtraction sum----"
_Dolly._ "Oh, Miss Crawford, I don't fink mummie would let me do any more of _those_ sums, 'cause in them you borrow _ten_ and pay back only _one_, and that's cheating!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: A GREAT AMBITION
_Little Girl_ (_watching her mother fixing hatpins through her hat_).
"When will _I_ be old enough, mummy, to have holes made in _my_ head to keep my hat on?"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: REHEARSAL FOR PRIVATE THEATRICALS ON BOXING-DAY.--_Master Brown_ (_leading tragedian, who has been studying a fearful blood-curdling old melodrama, entering suddenly)_. "Here are the letters. Two million pounds is the price of my silence!"]
WALKING HOME FROM THE PANTOMIME.--_Little Chris_ (_who usually goes to bed very early_). Mamma, have all the angels been to Drury Lane to-night?
_Mamma._ No, darling? Why?
_Little Chris_ (_pointing to the stars_). 'Cause they've kept the lamps up there lighted so late.
[Ill.u.s.tration: OUR CHRISTMAS TEA.--_Unregenerate Youth._ "Pa.s.s the seedy caike!" _Vicar's Daughter._ "If----? If----?" _Unregenerate Youth._ "If 'e don't I'll shove 'im in the faice!"]