Mr. Punch with The Children - BestLightNovel.com
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[Ill.u.s.tration: _Kitty._ "Is your wound sore, Mr. Pup?"
_Mr. Pup._ "Wound! What wound?"
_Kitty._ "Why, sister said she cut you at the dinner last night!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Little Boy._ "How many steps can you jump, grandma? I can jump _four_!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: INDUCTION
"Is this the _new_ baby, daddy?"--"Yes, dear."
"Why, he's got no teeth!"--"No, dear."
"And he's got no hair!"--"No, dear."
"Oh, daddy, it _must_ be an _old_ baby!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: "It's an ill wind blows n.o.body good."]
_Horrified little girl_ (_seeing her mamma in evening dress for the first time_). Oh, mummy, you're _never_ going down like that! You've forgotten to put on your top part!
[Ill.u.s.tration: "Hi, silly! Come 'ere out of the rine!"]
ENGLISH HISTORY.--"And who was the king who had so many wives?"
"Bluebeard!"
[Ill.u.s.tration: HER FIRST WASP
_Poor Effie (who has been stung)._ "First it walked about all over my hand, and it _was_ so nice! But oh!--_when it sat down_!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: VERY NATURAL.--"Vell, and vat to you sink t.i.t happen to me at Matame Tussaud's de oder tay? A laty dook me for vun of de vax vickers, and agdually abbollochised vor her misdake!"
"O what fun, Mr. Schmitz! And was it in the Chamber of Horrors?"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: TRUE DISTINCTION.--
_Mamma (improving the occasion)._ "I like your new suit immensely, Gerald! But you must recollect that it's not the coat that makes the gentleman!"
_Gerald._ "No, mamma! I know it's the _hat_!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration:
_Little Montague._ "I was awake when Santa Claus came, dad!"
_Father._ "Were you? And what was he like, eh?"
_Little Montague._ "Oh, I couldn't see him--it was dark, you know. But when he b.u.mped himself on the washstand he said----"
_Father (hastily)._ "There, that'll do, Monty. Run away and play!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: A RARA AVIS.--_Little Girl (finis.h.i.+ng her description of the Battle of Cressy)._ "And ever since then the Prince of Wales has been born with feathers!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: A HEAD FOR BUSINESS.--
_Mamma._ "I meant to give you a threepenny bit this morning, Bobby, but in my hurry I think I gave you sixpence, so----"
_Bobby._ "Yes, mummy, but I haven't spent it all yet. So will you give it me to-morrow?"
_Mamma._ "Give you what, dear?"
_Bobby._ "The threepenny bit you _meant_ to give me to-day!"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: THE CHILD OF THE PERIOD
"Why did that policeman touch his hat to you, aunty? Have you got one as well as nurse?"]
[Ill.u.s.tration: BEFORE THE HEAD
