Samantha at the World's Fair Part 79

"Samantha," sez he, "draw near and hear these interestin' remarks. I always love," sez he, "to have females hear about the works of nater.

It has a tendency," sez he, "to keep her in her place."

Sez the man as we drew near, a-goin' on with his remarks--he wuz addressin' some big man--but we hearn him say, sez he--

"The ostrich lays about a dozen and a half eggs in the layin'

season--one every other day--and then she sets on the eggs about six hours out of the twenty-four, the male bird takin' her place for eighteen hours to her six.

"The male bird, as you see, stays to hum and sets on the eggs three times as long as she duz, and takes the entire care of the young ostriches, while the female roams round free, as you may say."

I turned round and sez to Josiah, "How interestin' the works of Nater are, Josiah Allen. How it puts woman in her proper spear, and men, too!"

He looked real meachin' for most a minute, and then a look of madness and dark revenge come over his liniment. A tall, humbly male bird stood nigh him, as tall agin most as he wuz.

And as I looked at Josiah he muttered, "I'll learn him--I'll learn the cussed fool to keep in his own spear."

I laid holt of his vest, and sez I, "What, do you mean, Josiah Allen, by them dark threats? Tell me instantly," sez I, for I feared the worst.

"Seein' this dum fool is so willin' to take work on him that don't belong for males to do, I'll give him a job at it. I'll see if I can't ride some of the consarned foolishness out of him."

Sez I, "Be calm, Josiah; don't throw away your own precious life through madness and revenge. The ostrich hain't to blame, he's only actin' out Nater."

"Nater!" sez Josiah scornfully--"Nater for males to stay to hum and set on eggs, and hatch 'em, and brood young ones? Don't talk to me!"

He wuz almost by the side of himself.

And in spite of my almost frenzied appeals to restrain him, he lanched upon him.

You could ride 'em by payin' so much, and money seemed to Josiah like so much water then, so wild with wrath and revenge wuz he.

I see he would go, and I reached my hand up, and sez I, "Dear Josiah, farewell!"

But he only nodded to me, and I hearn him murmurin' darkly--

"Seein' he's so dum accommodatin' that he's took wimmen's work on him that they ort to do themselves, I'll give him a pull that will be apt to teach him his own place."

[Ill.u.s.tration: "I'll give him a pull that will be apt to teach him his own place."]

And he started off at a fearful rate; round and round that inclosure they went, Josiah layin' his cane over the sides of the bird, and the keeper a-yellin' at him that he'd be killed.

And when they come round by us the first time I heard him a-aposthrofizin' the bird--

"Don't you want to set on some more eggs? don't you want to brood a spell?" and then he would kick him, and the ostrich would jump, and leap, and rare round. But the third time he come round I see a change--I see deadly fear depictered in his mean, and sez he wildly--

"Samantha, save me! save me! I am lost!" sez he.

I wuz now in tears, and I sez wildly--

"I will save that dear man, or peris.h.!.+" and I wuz jest a-rus.h.i.+n' into the inclosure when they come a-tearin' round for the fourth time, and jest a little ways from us the ostrich give a wild yell and leap, and Josiah wuz thrown almost onto our feet.

As the keeper rushed in to pick him up, we see he held a feather in his hand.

He thought it wuz tore out by excitement, and Josiah clinched the feathers to save himself.

But Josiah owned up to me afterwards that he gin up that he wuz a-goin'

to be killed, and that his last thought wuz as he swooned away--wuz how much ostrich feathers cost, and how sweet it would be to give me a last gift of dyin' love, by pickin' a feather off for nothin'.

I groaned and sithed when he told me, and sez I, "What won't you do next, Josiah Allen?"

But this wuz hereafter, and to pick up the thread of my story agin.

Wall, Josiah wuzn't killed, he wuz only stunted, and he soon recovered his conscientousness.

And before half a hour pa.s.sed away he wuz a-talkin' as pert as you please, a-boastin' of how he would tell it in Jonesville. Sez he, "I wonder what Deacon Henzy will say when I tell him that I rode a bird while I wuz here?" Sez he, "He never rode a crow or a sparrer."

"Nor you, nuther," sez I; "how could you ride a crow?"

"Wall," sez he, "I've rid a ostrich, and the news will cause great excitement in Jonesville, and probable up as fur as Zoar and Loontown."

Then come Solomon's Temple. Josiah and I both felt that that wuz a good scriptural sight, worthy of a deacon and a deaconess, for some say that that is the proper way to address a deacon's wife.

But come to find out, the Temple wuz inside of a house, and you had to pay to go in.

And I sez, "Less pay, Josiah Allen, and go in."

And he said that "it wuzn't scriptural. Solomon's Temple in Bible times never had a house built round it. And he wuzn't a-goin' to encourage folks to go on and build meetin'-housen inside of other housen.

"Why," sez he, "if that idee is encouraged, they will be for buildin' a house round the Jonesville meetin'-house, and we will have to pay to go in."

Sez he, "Less show our colors for the right, Samantha."

The argument wuz a middlin' good one, though I felt that there wuzn't no danger.

But he went on ahead, and I had to foller on after him, like two old ducks goin' to water.

I guess that if it had been free he wouldn't have insisted on our showin' our colors.

Wall, the end of the Plaisance wuz devoted to soldiers, military displays, and camps and drill grounds.

Quite a s.p.a.cious place, as big as two city blocks, and it must have been very interestin' for war-like people to look on and see 'em in their handsome uniforms, a-marchin', and a-counter-marchin', and a-haltin', and a-presentin' arms, etc., etc.

And there wuz gardens and orange groves nigh by, too, where you could see ripe oranges and green ones hangin' to the same trees--dretful interestin' sight.

Wall, if you would turn back agin and go towards the Fair ground on the south side, a Hungarian Orpheum is seen first. This is a dance hall, theatre, and restaurant all combined.

Folks can dance here all the time from mornin' till night, if they want to, but we didn't want to dance--no, indeed! nor see it; our legs wuz too wore out, and so wuz our eyes, so we wended on to the Lapland Village.

The main buildin' in this is a hundred feet long, with a square tower in the centre.