Ask for It Part 29

"Because I knew it would upset you. I knew you would not understand at first."

"You lie. You failed to tell me because you knew it was w rong. And I will never understand. Never."

Elizabeth swept around the settee toward the door.

"I am not done speaking, madam."

"Then continue, my lord," she threw over her shoulder, nearly running to her room to hide the tears that flowed freely. "I no longer wish to listen."

William paced the length of his sitting room.

Margaret sighed, squirming into the pillows on the chaise, trying to find comfort for her aching back. "You knew nothing of this journal?"

"No." He scowled. "But Hawthorne was an odd fellow. I 'm not surprised to learn his father was mad. I 'm certain Hawthorne was a bit touched as well."

"How does that pertain?"

"There is something odd about this. I 've gone over Westfield's notes. He has already dedicated a great deal of his time to the study of the journal and all we've learned is some spotty descriptions of remote locations with no explanation. I cannot understand the purpose."Margaret rested her hands on her protruding stomach and smiled at the feel of her child moving in response to her touch. "So let's set aside the contents of the book for the moment and concentrate on Hawthorne himself. How did he come to be your partner?"

"He was a.s.signed to me by Eldridge."

"Did he ask for you in particular?"

"I don't believe so. I f I recall correctly, he gave some tale about a grievance against St. John."

"So he could just as easily have been a.s.signed to Westfield, who was also investigating St. John."

William plunged both hands into his golden hair. "Perhaps, but Westfield was frequently paired with Mr. James. I had not yet built a strong rapport with any other agents."

"And you and Westfield never knew of one another's activities, even though you were fast friends?"

"Eldridge does not-"

"-share such information, in case you are captured or tortured for information." Margaret shuddered. "I thank G.o.d you no longer amuse yourself in that manner. Heaven only knows how Elizabeth manages. But then she's far stronger than I . Is it possible Hawthorne married Elizabeth in the hopes he would learn something of Westfield's activities?"

"No." William sat next to her and placed his hand over hers. "He would not have known about Westfield. Just as I did not. I believe he married her to ensure he would remain my partner."

"Ah, yes, that would have been wise. So we have Hawthorne, working with you to investigate St. John, but all the while his aim is to thwart you. He is married to Elizabeth and keeping a journal of cryptic text that so far has been revealed to be nothing of import. But in fact, it must be important enough to kill for."

"Yes."

"I 'd say the best option would be to capture St. John and pair him with the journal, make him tell you what it says."

His mouth curved ruefully. "According to Elizabeth, St. John claims only Hawthorne can decode it. But obviously that cannot be true, so Avery is tracking the pirate, who most inconveniently has fled London again. He is the key."

"I worry for Elizabeth, you know I do, but I cannot help but wish Westfield had taken the journal elsewhere."

"I know, love. I f there had been another choice, I would have suggested it. But truly, despite his long-standing a.s.sociation with James and Eldridge, I am the only man he knows who can be trusted to care more for Elizabeth than the agency. And you and I have been cautious for so long.

I couldn't bear for our children to live in fear. We must end this." His gaze pled for her understanding.

She cupped his cheek with her hand. "I 'm glad you now know the truth about Hawthorne and St. John, to ease the guilt you've felt all these years. Perhaps Hawthorne's death was inevitable, with his life so deeply entrenched in the criminal." She moved her hand to place his against her belly and smiled as his blue eyes widened with awed pleasure at the feeling of a strong kick against his palm.

"Can you forgive me for accepting this task while you carry my child?" he asked hoa.r.s.ely, bending to press an ardent kiss to her powdered forehead.

"Of course, my love," she soothed. "You could not have done otherwise. And truly, in light of your lost friends.h.i.+p, I think it is a hopeful sign that Westfield came to you for help. We shall solve this puzzle together. Maybe then we can all find some peace."

"Pray, tell me what is the matter, Elizabeth," Elaine asked with concern. "I t pains me to see you so distressed."

"I should be in London now, not here."

Elizabeth moaned as they sat in the family parlor, her thoughts filled with worry for William and Margaret. Marcus may have done what he thought was best, but he should have discussed it with her, allowed her to come to terms with it. He should have given her the opportunity to speak to William and thank him for his a.s.sistance. Her chest tightened as she thought of her brother, who loved her so much.

"I 'm so sorry you are not happy here-"

"No, it's not that," she a.s.sured quickly. "I love it here. But there are...things that require my attention."

Frowning, Elaine said, "I don't understand."

"I asked Westfield to do something important for me and he disregarded my wishes."

"He must have had good reason," Elaine soothed. "He adores you."Paul entered the parlor. "Why so glum?" he asked. Taking one look at Elizabeth's tear-streaked face, he scowled. "Is it Marcus? Has he yelled at you again, Beth?"

Despite her misery, Paul's use of a pet name brought a reluctant smile to her face. No one had ever called her anything besides Elizabeth.

"No. I almost wish he would," she admitted. "He's been so civil toward me this last week I can barely stand it. A good row would do much to improve my spirits."

Paul laughed. "Well, reserved civility is what Marcus does best. I take it you've had a lovers' quarrel?"

"That's a rather tame description, but I suppose it is something similar."

His brown eyes lit with mischief. "I happen to be somewhat of an expert on lovers' quarrels. The best way to recover is not to mope. You'll find greater satisfaction in exacting a little revenge."

Elizabeth shook her head. She'd already denied Marcus her bed for the last six nights. Every night he tested the locked door to her chamber. Every night he turned away without a word. During the day, he was his customary charming self, polite and solicitous.

What was lacking were the heated looks and the familiar stolen caresses that told her he wanted her. The message was clear. He would not be the only one denied.

"I think I 've gone as far as I dare to incite a response," she said.

"Cheer up then, Beth. Lovers' quarrels never last long."

But Elizabeth couldn't agree with that. She'd hold her own until Marcus apologized. He couldn't just run roughshod over her. Decisions of this magnitude had to be discussed.

And quite frankly, she could be as stubborn as he.

The coals in the hearth s.h.i.+fted and Elizabeth jumped, every muscle in her body tense with expectation. She waited almost breathlessly for Marcus to test the bra.s.s k.n.o.b. Once he did so, she could relax and attempt sleep.

I f he kept to his routine, she'd have only a few more moments to wait. Sitting upright in bed, she clutched the edges of the sheet in her lap with nervous fingers. The lace throat of her night rail seemed too tight, making it difficult to swallow.

Then the k.n.o.b began a slow turn to the right.

She couldn't take her eyes from it, couldn't even blink.

I t made a soft click as it reached the barrier of the lock.

Her jaw clenched until it ached.

The k.n.o.b released, turning rapidly back to its previous position.

She closed her eyes and sighed with a confusing mixture of both disappointment and relief. She didn't get to appreciate the dichotomy, however, because a heartbeat later the door opened and Marcus walked in, spinning a looped ribbon around his index finger, the end of which dangled the key.

Biting her lower lip, she seethed, but held her tongue. She should have known not to expect fair play from a man used to gaining whatever he desired. At any cost.

He strolled to the nearest chair and turned it about to face the bed, rather than the grate. Then he sat, crossing one ankle over the opposite knee and adjusting his heavy silk robe with studious leisure. The traitorous key was slipped into his pocket.

"You are the most arrogant man I have ever met."

"You are welcome to discuss my perceived flaws at a later date. At the present moment, let's keep to the topic of why you've been barring me from your bed."

She crossed her arms beneath her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. "You know why."

"Do I? Well then I appear to have forgotten. Would you be so kind as to remind me? And be quick about it, if you please. I 've done my best to allow you time to set aside your pique, but a sennight of waiting has stretched my patience."

Elizabeth growled. "I am not merely a c.u.n.t to rut in. I f you need s.e.x so badly, take yourself in hand."

His harshly indrawn breath was the only sign she'd struck effectively. "I f all I needed was s.e.xual release, I would have done just that. Now, the reason for the locked door?"She sat there for a long time, thinking it would be best if he determined what was wrong on his own. But finally the pregnant silence was too much to bear. "You owe me an apology."

"I do?"

"Yes."

"For what, pray tell?"

"You know why. I t was wrong to involve William when I asked you not to."

"I will not apologize for that." His large hands, with their long, elegant fingers, curled over the carved wooden arms of the chair.

She lifted her chin. "Then we have nothing more to discuss."

"Ah but we do," he drawled softly. "Because I 'm sharing your bed tonight, my lovely wife, and I prefer it to be a pleasurable experience."

"I have feelings, Marcus, and a mind. You cannot just trample over those things and expect me to welcome you with open arms."

"I covet your feelings, Elizabeth, and I respect your mind. I could not have married you otherwise."

Her head tilted as she considered him, so tall and broad he dwarfed the chair he occupied. "I f you speak the truth, why didn't you discuss your intent with me and allow me to offer my opinion? You belittle me by acting without my knowledge and then concealing your actions."

"I concealed nothing. When you asked, I told you. And your opinion was known to me. I am fairly clever," he said dryly. "You can tell me something once and I 'll retain it."

"Then my opinion is of so little consequence it does not bear considering?"

He stood. "I will always consider your opinion, and give it as much weight as my own, but your safety will always come first. Always."

Feeling on unequal footing, Elizabeth slid from the bed. Although Marcus was far taller than she, it gave her some comfort to stand tall against him. "And what of William's safety? And his family?"

Marcus crossed to her, and lifting a hand, brushed the back of his fingers along her cheekbone. His eyes closed, as if he savored the touch of her. For her part, she s.h.i.+vered at the smell of him, that warm scent of sandalwood and citrus she knew and loved so well.

"I worry for him, yes. And I regret I was forced to involve him. Should something happen to him or his wife I would be forever wracked with guilt and I would mourn the loss of a man who was once, and hopefully will be again, as close to me as my brothers." His voice lowered, became almost wistful. "But I would survive. I could not say the same were I to lose you."

"Marcus..." Stunned by his words, her hand came up to catch his and hold it to her cheek.

"I don't know how I lived those four years without you. Looking back now, remembering the endlessness of days, the aching longing, the sense I was missing something vital..." He shook his head. "I couldn't go through that again. And that was before. Before I knew the many facets of your smiles, the warmth of your skin, the sounds of your pleasure, feeling you next to me both in public and private."

Suddenly, she felt overwhelmed and she gasped for breath.

He tugged her closer and embraced her within gentle arms. "I am sorry you are hurt by my decision, but I would make it again, a hundred times over. This is difficult for you, I know, and I understand you cannot collect how I feel. I would sacrifice my own life to protect yours, because none of it would be worth anything without you. And so I am resigning my commission, because my work jeopardizes you."

"Wh-why..." She swallowed hard and held him tight. "I never expected you would say such things to me. I -I don't know how to reply..."

"A week without you was enough to realize it was best to explain myself plainly, so there would be no doubt."

"I never thought you would love me. Not after all that I 've done."

His cheek rested atop her head. "I used to wonder why it had to be you. I 've met beautiful women, smart women, funny and bold women.

Why Elizabeth? Why not someone who could open her heart to me? Perhaps it was the chase. Perhaps it's that you are wounded and I wish to heal you." He shrugged. "The Lord only knows."

"I still cannot help but wish you would have told me your intent," she grumbled, even though her upset was immeasurably soothed by his declaration of her importance.

"In the future, I hope I have more time to convince you of the merits of my opinion, but in this case I didn't have that luxury."

She leaned against his arms and narrowed her eyes. "How long could it have possibly taken?"

He laughed. "A sennight it seems, and we didn't have that."

Looking up at him, seeing the warmth in his eyes and the loving curve of his mouth, she wanted to sigh like a besotted schoolgirl. Time and intimate familiarity did not lessen the effect of his masculine beauty. She didn't have the words to say things like he did, so plainly and with suchcourage. But she would do the best she could.

Her hands slipped between them and parted the front of his robe, revealing the body that made her mouth dry and her s.e.x clench in eagerness. Her fingertips drifted over taut, warm skin, across his abdomen, and down to his thighs.

"Feel what you do to me?" he asked, his eyes drifting shut as he quivered beneath her touch. He licked his lips and clutched her waist, the crests of his cheekbones flus.h.i.+ng with arousal. "I ache for this, Elizabeth, burn for it." Reaching for her hand, he brought it to his c.o.c.k, already hard and throbbing. He drew in his breath sharply when she curled her hands around it.

Awed, her gaze roamed the length of his body, helpless in the grip of only exploratory caresses.