Family Pride Or Purified by Suffering - BestLightNovel.com
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Had there been a train back to New York that afternoon Wilford would most certainly have suggested going, but as there was none he pa.s.sed the time as well as he could, finding Bell a great help to him, but wondering that she could a.s.similate so readily with such people, declaring herself in love with the farmhouse, and saying she should like to remain there for weeks, if the days were all as sunny as this, the dahlias as gorgeously bright, and the peaches by the well as delicious and ripe. To these the city girl took readily, visiting them the last thing before retiring, while Wilford found her there when he arose next morning, her dress and slippers nearly spoiled with the heavy dew, and her hands full of the fresh fruit which Aunt Betsy knocked from the tree with a quilting rod; her dress pinned around her waist, and disclosing a petticoat scrupulously clean, but patched and mended with so many different patterns and colors that the original ground was lost, and none could tell whether it had been red or black, buff or blue. Between Aunt Betsy and Bell the most amicable feeling had existed ever since the older lady had told the younger how all the summer long she had been drying fruit, "thimble-berries, blue-berries and huckleberries" for the soldiers, and how she was now drying peaches for Willard Buxton--once their hired man. These she should tie up in a salt bag, and put in the next box sent by the society of which she seemed to be head and front, "kind of fust directress," she said, and Bell was interested at once, for among the soldiers down by the Potomac was one who carried with him the whole of Bell Cameron's heart; and who for a few days had tarried at just such a dwelling as the farmhouse, writing back to her such pleasant descriptions of it, with its fresh gra.s.s and shadowy trees, that she had longed to be there too. So it was through this page of romance and love that Bell looked at the farmhouse and its occupants, preferring good Aunt Betsy because she seemed the most interested in the soldiers, working as soon as breakfast was over upon the peaches, and kindly furnis.h.i.+ng her best check ap.r.o.n, together with pan and knife for Bell, who offered her a.s.sistance, notwithstanding Wilford's warning that the fruit would stain her hands, and his advice that she had better be putting up her things for going home.
"She was not going that day," she said, point-blank, and as Katy too had asked to stay a little longer, Wilford was compelled to yield, and taking his hat sauntered off toward Linwood; while Katy went listlessly into the kitchen, where Bell Cameron sat, her tongue moving much faster than her hands, which pared so slowly and cut away so much of the juicy pulp, besides making so frequent journeys to her mouth, that Aunt Betsy looked in alarm at the rapidly disappearing fruit, wis.h.i.+ng to herself that "Miss Cameron had not listed."
But Miss Cameron had enlisted, and so had Bob, or rather he had gone to do his duty, and as she worked, she repeated to Helen the particulars of his going, telling how, when the war first broke out, and Sumter was bombarded, Rob, who, from long a.s.sociation with Southern men at West Point, had imbibed many of their ideas, was very sympathetic with the rebelling States, gaining the cognomen of a secessionist, and once actually thinking of casting in his lot with that side rather than the other. But the remembrance of a little incident saved him, she said. The remembrance of a queer old lady whom he met in the cars, and who, at parting, held her wrinkled hand above his head in benediction, charging him not to go against the flag, and promising her prayers for his safety if found on the side of the Union.
"I wish you could hear Bob tell the story, the funny part, I mean,"
she continued, narrating, as well as she could, the particulars of Lieutenant Bob's meeting with Aunt Betsy, who, as the story progressed and she recognized herself in the queer old Yankee woman, who shook hands with the conductor and was going to law about a sheep pasture, dropped her head lower and lower over her pan of peaches, while a scarlet flush spread itself all over her thin face, but changed into a grayish white as Bell concluded with "Bob says the memory of that hand lifted above his head haunted him day and night, during the period of his uncertainty, and was at last the means of saving him from treachery to his country."
"Thank G.o.d!" came involuntarily from Aunt Betsy's quivering lips, and, looking up, Bell saw the great tears running down her cheeks, tears which she wiped away with her arm, while she said faintly: "That old woman, who made a fool of herself in the cars, was me!"
"You, Miss Barlow, you!" Bell exclaimed, forgetting in her astonishment to carry to her mouth the luscious half peach she had intended for that purpose, and dropping it untasted into the pan, while Katy, who had been listening with some considerable interest, came quickly forward, saying: "You, Aunt Betsy! When were you in New York, and why did I never know it?"
It could not be kept back, and, unmindful of Bell, Helen explained to Katy as well as she could the circ.u.mstances of Aunt Betsy's visit to New York the previous winter.
"And she never let me know it, or come to see me, because--because--"
Katy hesitated, and looked at Bell, who said, pertly: "Because Will is so abominably proud, and would have made such a fuss. Don't spoil a story for relations' sake, I beg," and the young lady laughed good humoredly, restoring peace to all save Katy, whose face wore a troubled look, and who soon stole away to her mother, whom she questioned further with regard to a circ.u.mstance which seemed so mysterious to her.
"Miss Barlow," Bell said, when Katy was gone, "you will forgive one for repeating that story as I did. Of course I had no idea it was you of whom I was talking."
Bell was very earnest, and her eyes looked pleadingly upon Aunt Betsy, who answered her back: "There's nothing to forgive. You only told the truth. I did make an old fool of myself, but if I helped that boy to a right decision, my journey did some good, and I ain't sorry now if I did go to the playhouse. I confessed that to the sewing circle, and Mrs.
Deacon Bannister ain't seemed the same toward me since, but I don't care. I beat her on the election to first directress of the Soldiers'
Aid. She didn't run half as well as me. That chap you call Bob, is he anything to you? Is he your beau?"
It was Bell's turn now to blush and then grow white, while Helen lightly touching the superb diamond on her first finger, said: "That indicates as much. When did it happen, Bell?"
Mrs. Cameron had said they were not a family to bruit their affairs abroad, and if so, Bell was not like her family, for she answered frankly: "Just before he went away. It's a splendid diamond, isn't it?"
and she held it up for Helen to inspect.
The basket was empty by this time, and as Aunt Betsy went to fill it from the trees, Bell and Helen were left alone, the former continuing in a low, sad tone: "I've been so sorry sometimes that I did not tell Bob I loved him, when he wished me to so much."
"Not tell him you loved him! How then could you tell him yes, as it appears you did?" Helen asked, and Bell answered: "I could not well help that; it came so sudden and he begged so hard, saying my promise would make him a better man, a better soldier and all that. It was the very night before he went, and so I said that out of pity and patriotism I would give the promise, and I did, but it seemed too much for a woman to tell a man all at once that she loved him, and I wouldn't do it, but I've been sorry since; oh, so sorry, during the two days when we heard nothing from him after that dreadful battle at Bull Run. We knew he was in it, and I thought I should die until his telegram came saying he was safe. I did sit down then and commence a letter, confessing all I felt, but I tore it up, and he don't know now just how I feel."
"And do you really love him?" Helen asked, puzzled by this strange girl, who laughingly held up her soft, white hand, stained and blackened with the juice of the fruit she had been paring, and said: "Do you suppose I would spoil my hands like that and incur _ma chere-mamma's_ displeasure, if Bob were not in the army and I did not care for him? And now that I have confessed so much, allow me to catechise you. Did Mark Ray ever propose and you refuse him?"
"Never!" and Helen's face grew crimson, while Bell continued: "That is funny. Half our circle think so, though how the impression was first given I do not know. Mother told me, but would not tell where she received her information. I heard of it again in a few days, and have reason to believe that Mrs. Banker knows it too and feels a little uncomfortable that her son should be refused when she considers him worthy of the empress herself."
Helen was very white, and her limbs shook as she asked: "And how with Mark and Juno?"
"Oh, off and on," Bell replied; "that is, Juno is always on, while Mark is more uncertain, and Juno really has improved in some respects. As I wrote you once, she is very docile when with Mark, and acts as if trying to atone for something--her old badness, I guess. You are certain you never cared for Mark Ray?"
This was so abrupt and Bell's eyes were so searching that Helen grew giddy for a moment and grasped the back of the chair, as she replied: "I did not say I never cared for him. I said he never proposed; and that is true; he never did."
"And if he had?" Bell continued, never taking her eyes from Helen, who, had she been less agitated, would have denied Bell's right to question her so closely. Now, however, she answered blindly: "I do not know. I cannot tell. I thought him engaged to Juno."
"Well, if that is not the rarest case of cross-purposes that I ever knew," Bell said, wiping her hands upon Aunt Betsy's ap.r.o.n, and preparing to attack the piled up basket just brought in.
Further conversation was impossible, and, with her mind in a perfect tempest of thought, Helen went away, trying to decide what it was best for her to do. Some one had spread the report that she had refused Mark Ray, telling of the refusal, of course, or how else could it have been known? and this accounted for Mrs. Banker's long-continued silence.
Since Helen's return to Silverton Mrs. Banker had written two or thee kind, friendly letters, which did her so much good; but these had suddenly ceased, and Helen's last remained as yet unanswered. She saw the reason now, every nerve quivering with pain as she imagined what Mrs. Banker must think of one who could make a refusal public, or what was tenfold worse, pretend to an offer she never received. "She must despise me, and Mark Ray, too, if he has heard of it," she said, resolving one moment to ask Bell to explain to Mrs. Banker, and then changing her mind and concluding to let matters take their course, inasmuch as interference from her might be construed by the mother into undue interest in the son. "Perhaps Bell will do it without my asking,"
she thought, and this hope did much toward keeping her spirits up on that last day of Katy's stay at home, for she was going back in the morning. Wilford would not leave her, though she begged to stay. He did not like the sad expression of her face, and he must take her where she would have more excitement, hoping thus to win her from her grief, and perhaps induce her to lay aside her black, which would be so serious a hindrance to his enjoyment. But Katy clung to that as to a strict, religious duty, saying to Helen, as in the twilight they sat together up in their old room, talking of the ensuing winter, which would be so different from the last:
"If anything besides the feeling that she is so much happier, could reconcile me to baby's loss, it is the knowing that my mourning will keep me from the society in which I could not mingle so soon," and her tears dropped upon the somber robes, which had transformed her so suddenly from the gay, airy creature of fas.h.i.+on into the sober, quiet woman who seemed older, soberer than even Helen herself.
They did not see Marian Hazelton again, and Katy wondered at it, deciding that in some things Marian was very peculiar, while Wilford and Bell were slightly disappointed, as both had a desire to meet and converse with one who had been so like a second mother to the little dead Genevra. Wilford spoke of his child now as Genevra, but to Katy it was baby still; and, with choking sobs and pa.s.sionate tears, she bade good-by to the little mound underneath which it was lying, and then went back to her city home.
CHAPTER x.x.xIV.
THE FIRST WIFE.
Softly and swiftly the hazy September days glided into dun October, who shook down leafy showers of crimson and of gold upon the withered gra.s.s, and then gave place to the dark November rains, which made the city seem doubly desolate to Katy, who, like the ghost of her former self, moved listlessly about her handsome home, starting quickly as a fancied baby cry fell on her ear, and then weeping bitterly as she remembered the sad past and thought of the still sadder present. Katy was very unhappy, and the world, as she looked upon it, seemed utterly cheerless. For much of this unhappiness Wilford was himself to blame. After the first few days, during which he was all kindness and devotion, he did not try to comfort her, but seemed irritated that she should mourn so deeply for the child which, but for her indiscretion, might have been living still. Her seclusion from gay society troubled him. He did not like staying at home, and their evenings, when they were alone, pa.s.sed in gloomy silence. At last Mrs. Cameron, annoyed at what annoyed her son, brought her influence to bear upon her daughter-in-law, trying to rouse her to something like her olden interest in the world; but all to no effect, and matters grew constantly worse, as Wilford thought Katy unreasonable and selfish, while Katy tried hard not to think him harsh in his judgment of her, and exacting in his requirements. "Perhaps she was the one most in fault; it could not be pleasant for him to see her so entirely changed from what she used to be," she thought, one morning late in November, when her husband had just left her with an angry frown upon his face and reproachful words upon his lips.
Father Cameron and his daughters were out of town, and Mrs. Cameron, feeling lonely in their absence, had asked Wilford and Katy to dine with her. But Katy did not wish to go, and so Wilford had left her in anger, saying "she could suit herself, but he should go at all events."
Left alone, Katy began to feel that she had done wrong in declining the invitation. Surely she could go there, and the echo of the bang with which Wilford had closed the street door was still vibrating in her ear, when her resolution began to give way, and while Wilford was riding moodily downtown, thinking harsh things against her, she was meditating what she thought might be an agreeable surprise. She would go around and meet him at dinner, trying to appear as much like her old self as she could, and so atone for anything which had hitherto been wrong in her demeanor.
It was strange how much better Katy felt when this decision was reached, and Esther, below stairs, raised her finger warningly for the cook to listen as her mistress trilled a few notes of a song. It was the first time since her return from Silverton that a sound like that had been heard within the house, and it seemed the precursor of better days. At lunch, too, Katy's face was very bright, and Esther was surprised when, later in the day, she was sent for to arrange her mistress' hair, as she had not arranged it since baby died. Greatly annoyed, Wilford had been by the smooth bands combed so plainly back, and at the blackness of the dress; but now there was a change, and graceful curls fell about the face, giving it the girlish expression which Wilford liked. The somberness of the dark dress was relieved by simple folds of white c.r.a.pe at the throat and wrists, while the handsome jet ornaments, the gift of Wilford's father, added to the style and beauty of the childish figure, which had seldom looked lovelier than when ready and waiting for the carriage. At the door there was a ring, and Esther brought a note to Katy, who, recognizing her husband's handwriting, tore it quickly open and read as follows:
"DEAR KATY: I have been suddenly called to leave the city on business, which will probably detain me for three days or more, and as I must go on the night train, I wish Esther to have my portmanteau ready with whatever I may need for the journey. As I proposed this morning, I shall dine with mother, but come home immediately after dinner. W. CAMERON."
Katy was glad now that she had decided to meet him at his mother's, as the knowing she had pleased him would make the time of his absence more endurable, and after seeing that everything was ready for him she stepped with a comparatively light heart into her carriage, and was driven to No. ---- Fifth Avenue.
Mrs. Cameron was out, the servant said, but was expected every minute with Mr. Wilford.
"Never mind," Katy answered; "I want to surprise them, so please don't tell them I am here when you let them in," and going into the library she sat down before the grate, waiting rather impatiently until the door bell rang and she heard both Wilford's and Mrs. Cameron's voice in the hall.
Contrary to her expectations, they did not come into the library, but went instead into the parlor, the door of which was partially ajar, so that every word they said could be distinctly heard where Katy sat. It would seem that they were continuing a conversation which had been interrupted by their arriving home, for Mrs. Cameron said, with the tone she always a.s.sumed when sympathizing with her son: "I am truly sorry for you. Is she never more cheerful than when I have seen her?"
"Never," and Katy could feel just how Wilford's lips shut over his teeth as he said it; "never more cheerful, but worse if anything. Why, positively the house seems so like a funeral that I hate to leave the office and go back to it at night, knowing how mopish and gloomy Katy will be."
"My poor boy, it is worse than I feared," Mrs. Cameron said, with a little sigh, while Katy, with a great gasping sob, tried to rise and go to them, to tell them she was there--the mopish Katy, who made her home so like a funeral to her husband.
But her limbs refused to move, and she sank back powerless in her chair, compelled to listen to things which no true husband should ever say to a mother of his wife, especially when that wife's error consisted princ.i.p.ally in mourning too much for the child "which but for her imprudence might have been living then." These were Wilford's very words, and though Katy had once expected him to say them, they came upon her now with a dreadful shock, making her view herself as the murderer of her child, and thus blunting the pain she might otherwise have felt as he went on to speak of Silverton and its inhabitants, just as he would not have spoken had he known she was so near. Then, encouraged by his mother, he talked again of her, not against her, but in a way which made her poor aching heart throb as she whispered, sadly: "He is disappointed in me. I do not come up to all that he expected. I do very well, considering my low origin, but I am not what his wife should be."
Wilford had not said all this, but Katy inferred it, and every nerve quivered with anguish as the wild wish came over her that she had died on that day when she sat in the summer gra.s.s at home watching the shadows come and go and waiting for Wilford Cameron. Poor Katy! she thought her cup of sorrow full, when, alas! only a drop had as yet been poured into it. But it was filling fast, and Mrs. Cameron's words: "It might have been better with Genevra," was the first outpouring of the overwhelming torrent which for a moment bore her life and sense away.
She thought they meant her baby--the little Genevra sleeping under the snow in Silverton--and her white lips answered: "Yes, it would be better," before Wilford's voice was heard, saying, as he always said: "No, I have never wished Genevra in Katy's place, though I have sometimes wondered what the result would have been had I learned in season how much I wronged her."
Was heaven and earth coming together, or what made Katy's brain so dizzy and the room so dark, as, with head bent forward and lips apart, she strained her ear to catch every word of the conversation which followed, and in which she saw glimpses of that leaf offered her once to read, and from which she had promised not to shrink should it ever be thrust upon her? But she did shrink, oh! so shudderingly, holding up her hands and striking them through the empty air as if she would thrust aside the terrible scepter risen so suddenly before her. She had heard all that she cared to hear then. Another word and she should surely die where she was, within hearing of the voices still talking of Genevra. Stopping her ears to shut out the dreadful sound, she tried to think what she should do. To gain the door and reach the street was her desire, and throwing on her wrappings she went noiselessly into the hall, and carefully turning the lock closed the door behind her, finding herself alone in the street in the dusk of a November night. But Katy was not afraid, and drawing her hood closely over her face she sped on until her own house was reached, alarming Esther with her frightened face, but explaining that she had been taken suddenly ill and returned before dinner.
"Mr. Cameron will be here soon," she said. "I do not need anything to-night, so you can leave me alone and go where you like--to the theatre, if you choose. I heard you say you wished to go. Here is the money for you and Phillips," and handing a bill to the slightly puzzled Esther, she dismissed her from the room.
Meanwhile, at the elder Cameron's, no one had a suspicion of Katy's recent presence, for the girl who had admitted her had gone to visit a sick sister, with whom she was to spend the night. Thus Katy's secret was safe, and Wilford, when at last he bade his mother good-by and started for home, was not prepared for the livid face, the bloodshot eyes, and the strange, unnatural look which met him at the threshold.
Katy was waiting for him, and answered his ring herself, her hands grasping his almost fiercely and dragging him up the stairs to her own room, where, more like a maniac than Katy Cameron, she confronted him with the startling question:
"Who is Genevra Lambert? It is time I knew before committing greater sin. Tell me, Wilford, who is she?"