The Desert and the Sown - BestLightNovel.com
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It was time to be making winter plans again. Mrs. Bogardus knew that her son's young family was now complete without her presence. Moya had gained confidence in the care of her child; she no longer brought every new symptom to the grandmother. Yet Mrs. Bogardus put off discussing the change, dreading to expose her own isolation, a point on which she was as sensitive as if it were a crime. Paul was never entirely frank with her: she knew he would not be frank in this. They never expressed their wills or their won'ts to each other with the careless rudeness of a sound family faith, and always she felt the burden of his unrelenting pity. She began to take long drives alone, coming in late and excusing herself for dinner. At such times she would send for her grandson in his nurse's arms to bid him good-night. The mother would put off her own good-night, not to intrude at these sessions. One evening, going up later to kiss her little son, she found his crib empty, the nurse gone to her dinner. He was fast asleep in his grandmother's arms, where she had held him for an hour in front of the open fire in her bedroom. She looked up guiltily. "He was so comfortable! And his crib is cold. Will he take cold when Ellen puts him back?"
"I am sure he won't," Moya whispered, gathering up the rosy sleeper. But she was disturbed by the breach of bedtime rules.
In the drawing-room a few nights later she said energetically to Paul.
"One might as well be dead as to live with a grudge."
"A good grudge?"
"There are no good grudges."
"There are some honest ones--honestly come by."
"I don't care how they are come by. Grudges 'is p'ison.'" She laughed, but her cheeks were hot.
"Do you know that Christine has been at death's door? Your mother heard of it--through Mrs. Bowen! Was that why you didn't show me her letter?"
"It was not in my letter from Mrs. Bowen."
"I think she has known it some time," said Moya, "and kept it to herself."
"Mrs. Bowen!"
"Your mother. Isn't it terrible? Think how Chrissy must have needed her.
They need each other so! Christine was her constant thought. How can all that change in one year! But she cannot go to Banks Bowen's house without an invitation. We must go to New York and make her come with us--we must open the way."
"Yes," said Paul, "I have seen it was coming. In the end we always do the thing we have forsworn."
"_I_ was the one. I take it back. Your work is there. I know it calls you. Was not Mrs. Bowen's letter an appeal?"
Paul was silent.
"She must think you a deserter. And there is bigger work for you, too!
Here is a great political fight on, and my husband is not in it. Every man must slay his dragon. There is a whole city of dragons!"
"Yes," smiled Paul; "I see. You want me to put my legs under the same cloth with Banks and ask him about his golf score."
"If you want to fight him, have it out on public grounds; fight him in politics."
"We are on the same side!"
Moya laughed, but she looked a little dashed.
"Banks comes of gentlemen. He inherited his opinions," said Paul.
"He may have inherited a few other things, if we could have patience with him."
"Are you sorry for Banks?"
"I shall be sorry for him--when he meets you. He has been spared that too long."
"Dispenser of destinies, I bow as I always do!"
"You will speak to your mother at once?"
"I will."
"And do it beautifully?"
"As well as I know how."
"Ah, you have had such practice! How good it would be if we could only dare to quarrel in this family! You and I--of course!"
"_We_ quarrel, of course!" laughed Paul.
"I _love_ to quarrel with you!"
"You do it beautifully. You have had such practice!"
"I am so happy! It is clear to me now that we shall live down this misery. Christine will love to see me again; I know she will. A wife is a very different thing from a girl--a haughty girl!"
"I should think the wife of Banks Bowen might be."
"And we'll part with our ancient and honorable grudge! We are getting too big for it. _We_ are parents!"
Paul made the proposition to his mother and she agreed to it in every particular save the one. She would remain at Stone Ridge. It was impossible to move her. Moya was in despair. She had cultivated an overweening conscience in her relations with Mrs. Bogardus. It turned upon her now and showed her the true state of her own mind at the thought of being Two once more and alone with the child G.o.d had given them. Mrs. Bogardus appeared to see nothing but her own interests in the matter. She had made up her mind. And in spite of the conscientious scruples on all sides, the hedging and pleading and explaining, all were happier in the end for her decision. She herself was softened by it, and she yielded one point in return. Paul had steadily opposed his mother's plan of housekeeping, alone with one maid and a man who slept at the stables. The Dunlops, as it happened, were childless for the winter, young Chauncey attending a "commercial college" in a neighboring town.
After many interviews and a good deal of self-importance on Cerissa's part, the pair were persuaded to close the old house and occupy the servants' wing on the Hill, as a distinct family, yet at hand in case of need. It was late autumn before all these arrangements could be made.
Paul and Moya, leaving the young scion aged nineteen months in the care of his nurse and his grandmother, went down the river to open the New York house.
XXIV
INDIAN SUMMER
The upper fields of Stone Ridge, so the farmers said, were infested that autumn by a shy and solitary vagrant, who never could be met with face to face, but numbers of times had been seen across the width of a lot, climbing the bars, or closing a gate, or vanis.h.i.+ng up some crooked lane that quickly shut him from view.
"I would look after that old chap if I was you, Chauncey. He'll be smoking in your hay barns, and burn you out some o' these cold nights."
Chauncey took these neighborly warnings with good-humored indifference.
"I haven't seen no signs of his doin' any harm," he said. "Anybody's at liberty to walk in the fields if there ain't a 'No Trespa.s.s' posted.
I rather guess he makes his bed among the corn stouks. I see prints of someone's feet, goin' and comin'."
Mrs. Bogardus was more herself in those days than she had been at any time since the great North-western wilderness sent her its second message of fear. Old memories were losing their sting. She could bear to review her decision with a certain shrinking hardihood. Had the choice been given her to repeat, her action had been the same. In so far as she had perjured herself for the sake of peace in the family, she owned the sacrifice was vain; but her own personality was the true reason for what she had done. She was free in her unimpeachable widowhood--a mother who had never been at heart a wife. She feared no ghosts this keen autumn weather, at the summit of her conscious powers. Her dark eye unsheathed its glance of authority. It was an eye that went everywhere, and everywhere was met with signs that praised its oversight. Here was an out-worn inheritance which one woman, in less than a third of her lifetime, had developed into a competence for her son. He could afford to dream dreams of beneficence with his mother to make them good. Yes, he needed her still. His child was in her keeping; and, though brief the lease, that trust was no accident. It was the surest proof he could have given her of his vital allegiance. In the step which Paul and Moya were taking, she saw the first promise of that wisdom she had despaired of in her son. In the course of years he would understand her. And Christine?
She rested bitterly secure in her daughter's inevitable physical need of her. Christine was a born parasite. She had no true pride; she was capable merely of pique which would wear itself out and pa.s.s into other forms of selfishness.
This woman had been governed all her life by a habit of decision, and a strong personality rooted in the powers of nature. Therefore she was seldom mistaken in her conclusions when they dealt with material results. Occasionally she left out the spirit; but the spirit leaves out no one.