The Follies of Love Part 4

Worthy I am truly annoyed that, on account of me, your daughter has received such unworthy treatment.

Albert What do you mean, my daughter?

Worthy Is she your wife then?

Albert She soon will be.

Worthy My soul is ravished. You couldn't form a better plan. And you do well to get that viper in hand. All husbands ought to do as you do. Women today are such coquettes.

Albert I intend to rule the roost, and not follow the manners of these times.

Scratch Oh, may you do better! I am so crazy about women and I am delighted when good souls make use of a little authority from time to time.

Albert (aside) This boy pleases me; he speaks sensibly.

Worthy As for me, I see nothing blamable. For a man, without ever being bothered by suspicions, to be lulled by the promise of a woman, to count tranquilly on her frail virtue--believing that G.o.d has made a woman faithful--for him alone--is to be a fool. It's necessary to be watchful at all times. When she scolds, cry louder still--and despite all the precautions which love causes a man to take--the more refined he is--the bigger the dupe.

Albert We are a little devious about these matters--which could easily trap me.

Each day I invent some crafty way of defeating their trickery and finesse. My word, you'd be wasting your time. Gentlemen, the defenders of women, debonair husbands, soft courtiers, powdered blondes--and all those who are searching the town for a woman whose husband gives them easy access--tell everybody I'm a brute, a jealous husband. In the depth of my heart, I laugh at them.

Worthy Because you are jealous, does that mean you are prevented from having a tender and sensitive heart? Without being a little jealous one cannot be a lover. They say a jealous man who quarrels without cease is more a tyrant than a lover to a beautiful woman. Ceaselessly, agitated by fury or boredom, he takes pleasure in the malady of another. Insupportable to all, odious to himself, everybody to deceive him pretends to be extremely pleased, but wishes that it was permitted to smother him like a raging monster escaped from h.e.l.l.--That's the way one ordinarily speaks in the world. But, for me, I take the contrary position, and say that it's a gallant man who shows so much love through his jealous transports and sees himself come to life when yielding to his penchant. In life, one spices up love with a little jealousy.

Albert Decidedly, you charm me with your wit, sir. I wish it were all written down to explain to sots who blame my manner.

Scratch Let us go in, sir. There, to satisfy you, I will write it all down without charge.

Albert (stopping him) I am much obliged to you--I will remember it well. I believe you have nothing more to say to me. There's your road, sir, good day. I retire.

May heaven maintain you in these fine sentiments and not leave you in these parts for very long.

(Enter Jenny.)

Jenny Help, neighbors! What a terrible accident. What a sad adventure. Ah, heaven, is it possible? The poor Squire Albert--what will become of you? The blow is mortal. I cannot recall it.

Albert What's happened?

Jenny The most terrible disgrace.

Albert But still, it's better to know what has happened.

Jenny Arabella--

Worthy Well, Arabella--?

Jenny In this instant--quite suddenly--Arabella has gone mad.

Albert Arabella is crazy?

Worthy Ah, heaven.

Albert This is unbelievable.

Jenny Ah, sir, this misfortune is only too true. When, by your express order, she had vowed to knit, this cursed locksmith came to irritate us. So she vowed that these bars and grills to which the locksmith condemns the window-- At the same time, I swear her eyes rolled and her suddenly stricken spirit evaporated. She talks extravagantly. She runs, she creeps, she sings, she dances--she dresses, then she changes her clothes suddenly--with whatever happens to be at hand, just now, from your wardrobe, she took your large robe and skull-cap. Then, taking her guitar, she sings different tunes in strange jargon. In fact, she's a hundred times worse than I was able to explain. One can't help crying--and laughing, too.

Worthy What do I hear? Just heaven.

Albert What a deadly misfortune.

Jenny (to Albert, accusingly) You are the sole author of this sad misfortune. That's what comes of shutting a wench up.

Albert Cursed precaution and unfortunate bars.

Jenny I intended to shut her in her chamber for a moment. It caused howlings hard to describe. She battered the wall with her head from rage. I said to open everything. No one can stop her. But, I see her coming.

Alas, she changes her manner and dress every moment.

(Enter Arabella, dressed as Scaramouche with a guitar.)

Arabella (singing) All night long, A mean old tomcat Sits watching me on the sly.

Oh, he's crazy.

Couldn't he just Be made to break his neck?

Worthy In spite of her illness, Scratch--what a--!

Scratch I love her more this way than another who is quite sane.

Arabella (singing) Couldn't he just Be made to break his neck?

(speaking) You're in the same line of work? Musicians, listen: I am as you, a musician. Vain, very spoiled--but I work for very little money.

A child of do, re, me, fa,--and so on. I'm irritated. From one part of the world to the other, they speak of my talent. In a certain duo which I find excellent--'cause it's mine. I wish you'd both tell me frankly what you think of it.

Albert (alarmed) Ah, my dear Jenny! She's lost her reason.

Jenny Who knows better than I? Didn't I tell you so, didn't I tell you that?

(Arabella sings a little prelude.)

Scratch I like that, sir. Her madness is a little racy.

Albert (concerned) Her eyes are troubled, and her face is haggard.

Arabella (presenting her hand to Albert, then roughly pulling it away, while letting Worthy kiss the other) I love artists! Touch it! Touch it! The tune you will hear is in A minor. It's my favorite. Music is lively, bizarre, petulant, and very enjoyable. The movement is light, new, quick and forceful. It sent me looking, a few days ago to soothe the melancholy humor of a man confined to bed with paralysis for whom I sang a certain dance. Three wise doctors came to his house, the nurse, the patient, and an old apothecary who came to exercise his grave ministry without respect for his profession took me by the hand and danced till dawn.

Scratch (having conceived the idea for Worthy to grab Arabella's hand and dance off with her) Behold a faculty to dance in the round and exit this street all in step. That'd be nice, sir.

Worthy What, wretch, you can laugh, seeing her in this frightful disorder?

Arabella Wait, soft--my musical demon disturbs me, seizes me; I dithyramb. The hairs on my head stand up in horror. Don't bother the G.o.d that puts me in this fury. I feel that my excitement will reveal itself in tones.

(tossing about and spitting in Albert's face) Pouah! I had a deity in my throat, or rather in the duo which is in question. You will see excitement best--and pa.s.sion. I succeed better in the one and the other. Here's your part--and you, yours. (giving a paper with music to Albert and a letter to Worthy, then tosses about and prepares to sing)

Scratch Let's stand back a bit. I'm afraid of the G.o.ds.