The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Note: Lot of footnotes in this chapter. Sorry ahead of time, but this chapter sets up things to come. There should be a lot less footnotes in the future once things are established.

<> is a YY stallion novel.1

Getting to the point, “Proud Immortal Demon Way” is an incomparably long, golden finger against the heavens2, harem greater than three digits, and with characters and scenes and a protagonist that even girls would like sort of cool cultivation novel.

It’s the year’s best stallion novel, bar none!

This book’s male protagonist, Luo Binghe, doesn’t walk the path of the lofty or the path of the waste3 but still manages to take thousands of readers in the literary network by storm, influencing countless YY novels thereafter.

He walks a pitch-black path.

But before he was painted black, he walked a bitter path.

Afterwards, the deep reader Shen Yuan was immersed in contents doc.u.menting infinite slaughter, making the summary before the end of the book seem very brief.

Luo Binghe was born and immediately abandoned by his parents, wrapped in white cloth, and put in a wood basin set into the water.

After nine cold days, it was only because the fishermen in the river picked him up that he didn’t freeze to death in his early childhood. Because he floated among the ice floes and it was the season of ice and many waters, he was given his current name.4

He wandered the streets in his youth, starving, never wearing enough to be warm, having a gray childhood. A washerwoman working for a large family pitied the child and with no children at her knees, adopted him and treated him as her real son. The mother and son lived in bitter poverty, suffering the bullying of the wealthy.

Under such unhealthy growing conditions since childhood, Luo Binghe’s character after being blackened only grows more twisted, full of grievances, with thousands of knives set to kill in his heart. What a good root buried here for a twisted character, Shen Yuan thought with a small laugh at his mouth.

Just for a lukewarm bowl of porridge, he endured the beating of a n.o.ble son only to still be a step late, unable to rush home to let his mother eat a mouthful before she died.

In a coincidental opportunity, Luo Binghe was selected by the number one cultivation sect in the world at the time, apprenticing under ‘Xiu Ya Sword’ Shen Qingqiu.5

He thought he was finally on the right track, but unexpectedly Shen Qingqiu is fair on the outside, foul on the inside; the absolute worst sort of character. He is jealous of Luo Binghe’s unparalleled talent, his heart always under siege to outperform his own disciples in cultivation, always taunting and bringing along others in ridiculing him. He only cultivated for a few years but it was already a heart-aching endeavor full of blood and tears.

It was difficult for Luo Binghe to reach sixteen years of age, finally encountering the cultivation world’s grand ceremonial Immortal a.s.sembly Conference6 held every three years. In this Immortal a.s.sembly Conference, Luo Binghe was schemed against by Shen Qingqiu and fell into the cracks between the Demon Realm and the Human Realm – an endless abyss.

As everyone knows, this is the true beginning of the story!

Not only did Luo Binghe survive, he also found his unique sword skill, ‘Xin Mo.’7 And he learned about his own life.

As it turns out, Luo Binghe is born from the loving union of the Demon Realm’s Sheng Jun and the Human Realm woman Qing Xin, both the blood of ancient demons and human blood flowing in his veins. His father was suppressed under great mountains, never to emerge again; his mother was a true disciple of a Righteous sect and after they found out about her affair, she was expelled, her cultivation dispersed, humiliated, displaced, and marked for killing. But she died only after giving birth to Luo Binghe from postpartum hemorrhage, hunger, and cold.

She used her last burst of strength to give birth to him on the boat, eager to have a slim chance of survival.

Luo Binghe, using the Xin Mo Sword, opened the seal on the demon blood in his body. In the dark abyss, he cultivated painstakingly and achieved amazing results before heading back to Cang Qiong Mountain sect.

Starting from here, Luo Binghe proceeds to walk unhesitatingly on the blackened road.

His old enemies all die tragically under his hands, tortured. Luo Binghe uses his increasingly good camouflage and mental acuity to play a double game, step by step betraying trusts, seizing power, rising to the top. He set off a monstrous, b.l.o.o.d.y storm and waves in the world; a reign of terror.

As the plot develops, Luo Binghe blackens more and more. He returns to the Demon Realm, taking on Shen Jun’s seat as the Emperor, and still not satisfied, starts a bloodbath against the immortals in the Human Realm. Anyone who voices an opposition is exterminated to the root!

In the end, the generation ushered in by Immortal Demon Luo Binghe sees the unification of the Three Realms8; a harem with numbers beyond counting and numerous descendants!

“A stupid pen writes stupid words!”

This is Shen Yuan before he died, the last words he could curse.

Who would know that as a polite youth who used his money to purchase a V real and original copy,9 he persisted in finis.h.i.+ng this kind of stallion novel before dying? This sort of appalling rotten text, can’t he curse as he wants?

<> Author: Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky [Xiang Tian Da Feiji].

Just looking at this ID, there’s an evil aura surrounding it.10 Like a little grade-schooler’s pen; lightning should strike him.

Even Shen Yuan is embarra.s.sed at the author’s messy, dog-s.h.i.+t and unreasonably complex framework and plot.

Have you seen anyone cultivate by riding a horse or a cart all day? Have you seen anyone cultivate when even their a.s.s needs to eat and sleep? Have you seen an author whose comprehension and reason are enough to confuse cultivation?

Everyone in front of the protagonist, all have their intelligence taken away by his b.a.s.t.a.r.d aura.

Maybe it’s because Luo Binghe’s s.h.i.+fu,11 that Shen Qingqiu, was a fighter jet among the worst, an unprecedented sc.u.m amongst sc.u.m!

The reason for his existence is to be killed, and not only killed. If you look to the end?

Don’t misunderstand, Shen Yuan is not against him. This reason is also the most ball-aching for him:

The foreshadowing is numerous, plot holes everywhere, mystery after mystery, layer upon layer of confusing fog. In the end – not even one can be solved!

It’s enough to cause a mouthful of blood!

Then all those victims, who is the perpetrator? All those brilliant ladies who were taken into the harem, what was their end? Such a big pile of important names used and thrown away for what, why at the end did they not come out?!

Airplane Towards The Sky brother, Airplane brother, stop and let’s have a discussion. Fill! Plot holes! Okay!

Shen Yuan feels angry enough to come back from the dead.

In the endless darkness, a mechanical noise sounded by his ear.

【Activation Code：「Stupid pen, stupid words」. Automatically triggering system.】

“Who is this?” The tone of voice is similar to Google Translate. Shen Yuan looked around. It was like he was floating in an imaginary s.p.a.ce, his hand outstretched without meeting any obstruction.

The voice came from nowhere: 【Welcome to the system. During the opening of the「you can you up」system currently in its development phase, we wish to provide you with the best experience. It is our sincere hope that during the process, you will achieve what you have stated: to transform a piece of stupid writing in accordance to your wishes into a high-end, expansive, and cla.s.sic work. We wish you happiness. 】

Inside the clouds, there is the sound of a man’s voice by his ear asking lightly: “……Junior apprentice-brother? Junior apprentice-brother, can you hear me?”

Shen Yuan suddenly came to, alert, and opened his eyelids with effort. In front of his eyes are thousands of flowers and leaves tumbling, rus.h.i.+ng and dipping away in the air before everything became clear.

He is lying on a bed.

Looking up, there is a full spread of white. From the four corners at the top of the bed hang exquisite scented sachets.

Looking down, he wears white clothes in the ancient fas.h.i.+on, reclining on the pillow with a paper fan in hand.

Looking to the left, a handsome man with hair in the xuan duan12 style sits at the side of the bed who turns to him, concerned;

Shen Yuan closes his eyes, reaching his hand out for the paper fan and opening it. He fans himself, breaking out into a rain of cold sweat.

The man’s eyes flashed, asking in a warm voice: “Junior apprentice-brother is finally awake! Is there any discomfort in your body?”

Shen Yuan said: “……Nothing wrong.”

The information load is a bit big. Shen Yuan breathed deeply and tried to rise. That strange man seeing his actions reached out his hand and slowly lifted him up, letting him rest against the headboard.

Shen Yuan has always been a cautious person. Before he understands the situation, he can only act as though he’d just woken up and is in a sleepy trance, asking: “I…… where is this?”

The man was surprised, then said: “Did you really sleep so long you became confused? This is your Qing Jing Peak.13”

Shen Yuan’s heart received a shock, but he continued to act as though he was dizzy: “I…… why would I unknowingly sleep so long?”

The man let out a sigh, said: “I haven’t even asked you yet. How can you suddenly get a fever out of nowhere? I know the Immortal a.s.sembly Conference is drawing near so you’re teaching your disciples and eager for success. But with our Tian Gong’s14 history and fame, even if we don’t forward a disciple for the conference, no one would dare question us. There’s no need for you to concern yourself with that sort of false acclaim.”

The more Shen Yuan listens, the more he feels that something’s wrong. Why do these words sound so familiar?

No, why does this setup sound so familiar?

Continuing, that man earnestly and sincerely said some words that finally made him remember.

“Junior apprentice-brother Qingqiu, are you listening to this senior apprentice-brother’s words?”

At this time, a ‘ding’ made its presence and the mechanical Google Translate-sounding voice that he heard in the dream began.

【System activation successful! Binding your role: Luo Binghe’s master, Cang Qiong Mountain sect, Qing Jing Peak, Qing Jing Peak Lord, ‘Shen Qingqiu.’ Weapons, Xiu Ya Sword. Points: 100】15

‘What do you mean rely on you to play? How come it’s like it’s speaking directly in my brain? What’s up with this ‘Proud Immortal Demon Way’ plot?’

Shen Yuan didn’t speak out loud of course, but that voice quickly made a response.

【You initiated the execution of the system. You are a.s.sociated with and bound to the account ‘Shen Qingqiu.’】

【As the plot progresses, a number of opportunities to gain points will be opened,16 please make sure your points are not lower than 0. Otherwise the system will automatically initiate punishment.】

Stop. Enough. Shen Yuan knows now.

He has transmigrated.

He transmigrated into a novel he had just finished reading, a stallion novel he’d disliked and despaired of. And bringing along some freaking system with him too. Shen Qingqiu quickly accepted this reality.

He is the protagonist’s never-doing-good-deeds, sc.u.m villain Master Shen Qingqiu. This…… eh, the situation is a bit complicated.

This man to the side, this is Cang Qiong Mountain sect’s Immortal and main head, Shen Qingqiu’s senior apprentice-brother, ‘Xuan Su Sword’ Yue Qingyuan17. f.u.c.k.

Shen Yuan when confronted with Yue Qingyuan let out a ‘f.u.c.k’ because there’s a grave reason – in the original work, Yue Qingyuan was personally killed by his good junior apprentice-brother Shen Qingqiu!

Facing the victim who is being so warm in front of this murderer, the pressure is very great.

But looking at the situation now, the story hasn’t progressed to that step yet. Yue Qingyuan is still perfectly well, which indicates that Shen Qingqiu hasn’t been saddled with the label of a hypocrite and hasn’t been ruined yet.

Yue Qingyuan is a very good person and has nothing to be afraid of. Shen Yuan likes reading and therefore actually quite likes this role. While at ease and unworried, a line of words floated up from the sea of his mind.

Don’t die too miserably.

Tens of thousands of arrows shot through empty bones! [……In a murky black room, a metal rope hangs from the ceiling beam. From the metal rope hangs a ring. The ring is bound around a man’s waist. If that can still be considered as ‘human.’ This ‘human’ is unkempt like a madman. The most frightening thing is that his four limbs have all been cut off. What is left of his shoulders and legs are only round b.a.l.l.s of flesh. Once touched, he will let out a loud ‘Ah ah’ sound. His tongue has also been cut off, so he cannot say complete words.]

↑ <> A paragraph selection, Shen Qingqiu Ending.

Shen Yuan, no wait, Shen Qingqiu bowed his forehead.

He doesn’t have the privilege of lamenting the deaths of others, the person who died most tragically is him!

Don’t make a big mistake!

Need to strangle any possibility of mistakes before they occur √

From now on need to hug the male protagonist’s thighs18 √

Need to be gentle, earnest, and warm in his instruction and provide him with both a teacher and friends; need to greet him warmly √

Just when he came up with this plan, a noisy string of alarms sounded in the sea of Shen Qingqiu’s mind. It was just like a band of one hundred police cars shrilling loudly, shocking him and making him clutch painfully at his head.

Yue Qingyuan was immediately worried and said: “Junior apprentice-brother, your head still hurts?”

Shen Qingqiu grit his teeth and didn’t answer. The system sharply warned: 【Warning. Your plan is very dangerous. It is a violation, please do not attempt. Otherwise, the system will automatically initiate punishment. 】

‘Violation where?’

【You are now at the beginning stage, OOC function freeze activated. You need to complete the beginning stage before functions can be unfrozen. If you conduct any actions against the original ‘Shen Qingqiu’ role before functions are unfrozen, a certain amount of points will be deducted. 】

As someone who is at least half a scholar, in the past Shen Qingqiu would look at some of his cla.s.smates’ homework; you know how it is. Of course he knows what OOC means.

Out of character is the full text for the abbreviation, literally meaning that the role isn’t done well and isn’t in accordance with the original character.

‘……That is to say, before getting that whatever function unfrozen, my behavior can’t exceed what ‘Shen Qingqiu’ would do?’

【Correct. 】

It can let him transmigrate into Shen Qingqiu’s sh.e.l.l, but it still cares about something small like OOC?

Shen Qingqiu asks: ‘You said earlier, something something…… the points can’t be less than 0, if less than 0 what will happen?’

【You will be automatically transported to your original world. 】

Original world? But in his original world, Shen Yuan’s fleshly body is already dead.

That is to say, if those whatever points are deducted to nothing what awaits him is: Death.

Then if he doesn’t have anything to do with the male protagonist, he should be fine right?

He lifted his head, gazing around him. He did not see Luo Binghe’s person anywhere in the line of disciples before him. He lazily and carelessly said: “Where is Luo Binghe?”

Yue Qingyuan paused, looking at him with a strange light in his eyes.

Shen Qingqiu’s appearance reveals nothing, but is secretly puzzled. Can this be the wrong time, that the male protagonist hasn’t yet been accepted into Cang Qiong sect from below?

Yue Qingyuan said: “Junior apprentice-brother, don’t be upset.”

From Shen Qingqiu’s heart rises an ominous feeling.

Yue Qingyuan sighed: “I know you don’t like him. But that child has persevered enough and hasn’t done much wrong, there’s no need for you to punish him again.”

Shen Qingqiu listened to him speak, wetted his dry lips and said: “……Say it straight, where is he?”

Yue Qingyuan was silent for a moment, said: “After you strung him up and hit him, don’t you always shut him in the woodshed?”

Shen Qingqiu’s face was black.

—End Chapter 1—

1YY stallion novel: Refers to a novel genre I think. Probably refers to harem novels, since harem protags are like stallions or stud horses getting it on with many brood mares (i.e. girls).

2golden finger against the heavens: I get the feeling this is talking about the metaphorical “f.u.c.k you” that protags in cultivation novels give towards all the obstacles in their way no matter how impossible the odds. The so-called ‘golden finger’ is therefore the middle finger. LOL

3path of the lofty, path of the waste: Common cultivation novel backgrounds for protagonists are those who begin strong (i.e. young n.o.ble master) or begin weak (i.e. cultivation trash who overcomes their difficulties).

4Luo Binghe (洛冰河): Bing he (冰河) means ‘glacier.’

5‘Xiu Ya Sword’ Shen Qingqiu (「修雅劍」沈清秋): ‘Xiu Ya Sword’ is a t.i.tle. It means something like ‘Elegant Cultivating Sword.’ Shen Qingqiu is the name of the sc.u.m villain that Shen Yuan transmigrates into. Qing qiu means ‘clear autumn.’

6Immortal a.s.sembly Conference: More literal translation would be something like Immortal/Fairy Alliance Important Meeting (pinyin: xian meng da hui).

7Xin Mo: Translates to ‘Heart Demon.’ I’ll refer to his technique as ‘Xin Mo Sword’ in the future.

8Three Realms: Demon, Human, and… Immortal/Heavenly? I’m a bit rusty on this lol.

9V real and original copy: MC is complaining about spending money to buy a copyrighted original version of the text vs. someone’s pirated version that he could have gotten for free. V = Very. His main complaint is that the novel sucks and is not worth the money or effort lol.

10An evil aura surrounding it: The author’s penname is probably also a dirty euphemism for… upright p.e.n.i.s. And Luen was kind enough to point out that the author’s penname altogether can mean ‘masturbating towards the sky.’ Hence Shen Yuan’s disgust. LOL

11s.h.i.+fu: You should know this from Kung Fu Panda. s.h.i.+fu = master.

12xuan duan style (玄端): A kind of hairdo I think. Don’t ask me what it looks like lol, just a.s.sume it’s like most ancient Chinese hairstyles for men, the kind that’s swept up into a bun thingy on top of their heads.

13Qing Jing Peak: Literally ‘Clear Calm’ Peak. This is the peak that Shen Qingqiu is Peak Lord over in the sect.

14Tian Gong (天宮): Sky Temple. This is part of the Cang Qiong Mountain (蒼穹山) Sect, loosely ‘Blue Sky Mountain’ Sect.

15Points (原始B格): I have no idea how to translate this. I’m using ‘Points’ for now and I’ll change it once I get some clue about how to translate it better.

16More on the system points: How to explain this… My understanding is that as the story progresses, our main character will get points depending on certain things he does. Say he gets 50 Cool points and 10 Philosophy points. His total points would be what he had before the action that netted him points plus what he just got (50 + 10 = 60). So long as his total points are not less than 0, he’s good.

17‘Xuan Su Sword’ Yue Qingyuan(「玄肅劍」岳清源): Um… his t.i.tle means ‘Profound Solemn Sword.’ I think.

18hug thighs: A figure of speech meaning to hold with all your might onto a strong and powerful figure. If you were an employee you’d want to hug your boss’ thighs. ?

Translator’s notes:

That horrific Shen Qingqiu Ending is a very good description of the someone looks like after getting subjected to the ‘human stick’ method of torture. The person tortured gets all their limbs removed, leaving only the head and body intact.

The system’s words are a little hard to translate. For now, just know that there’s a kind of ‘tutorial’ mode that our main character needs to go through before all functions are unfrozen/unlocked. Right now he’s in the middle of tutorial mode (AKA ‘beginning stage’). At the end of the beginning stage will be a ‘test’ that he needs to complete. Once he finishes the test, functions will be unlocked and he’ll move onto the next stage.

Random slang I learned…

Wo cao (臥槽): Literally means ‘lying down’ but is another h.o.m.onym for ‘f.u.c.k.’