The Sick a Bed Lady - BestLightNovel.com
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"I don't go to the Lennarts' any more--if I can help it," she mumbled.
"Why not?" shouted Sagner.
She considered the question very carefully, then "Go ask the other girls," she answered a trifle hotly. "Go ask any one of them. We all stay away for exactly the same reason."
"WHAT IS THE REASON?" thundered Sagner in his most terrible laboratory manner.
When Sagner speaks like that to me, I always grab hold of my head with both hands and answer just as fast as I possibly can, for I remember only too distinctly all the s.h.i.+ning a.s.sortment of different sized knives and scalpels in his workshop and I have always found that a small, narrow, quick question makes the smallest, narrowest, quickest, soon-overest incision into my secret.
But Madge Hubert only laughed at the laboratory manner.
"Say 'Please,'" she whispered.
"Please!" growled Sagner, with his very own blood flus.h.i.+ng all over his face and hands.
"Now--what is it you want to know?" she asked, frittering her fingers all the time over that inky-looking pack of catalogue cards.
Somehow, strange as it may seem, I did not feel an atom in the way, but rather that the presence of a third person, and that person myself, gave them both a certain daring bravado of speech that they would scarcely have risked alone with each other.
"What do I want to know?" queried Sagner. "I want to know--in fact--I'm utterly mad to know--just what your kind of woman thinks of 'Little Sister's' kind of woman."
With a startled gesture Madge Hubert looked back over her shoulder toward a creak in the literature book-stack, and Sagner jumped up with a great air of mock conspiracy, and went tip-toeing all around among the metal corridors in search of possible eavesdroppers, and then came flouncing back and stuffed tickly tissue paper into the gray cat's ears.
Then "Why don't you girls go to the Lennarts' any more?" he resumed with quickly recurrent gravity.
For a moment Madge Hubert dallied to shuffle one half of her pack of cards into the other half. Then she looked up and smiled the blond way a white-birch tree smiles in the suns.h.i.+ne.
"Why--we don't go any more because we don't have a good time," she confided. "After you've come home from a party once or twice and cried yourself to sleep, it begins to dawn on you very gradually that you didn't have a very good time. We don't like 'Little Sister.' She makes us feel ashamed."
"Oh!" said Sagner, rather brutally. "You are all jealous!"
But if he had expected for a second to disconcert Madge Hubert he was most ingloriously mistaken.
"Yes," she answered perfectly simply. "We are all jealous."
"Of her beauty?" scowled Sagner.
"Oh, no," said Madge Hubert. "Of her innocence."
Acid couldn't have eaten the fiber out of Madge Hubert's emotional honesty. "Why, yes," she hurried on vehemently, "among all the professors' daughters here in town there isn't one of us who is innocent enough to do happily even once the things that 'Little Sister' does every day of her life. You are quite right. We are all furiously jealous."
With sudden professional earnestness she ran her fingers through the catalogue cards and picked out one and slapped it down in front of Sagner. "There!" she said. "That's the book that explains all about it.
It says that jealousy is an emotion that is aroused only by business compet.i.tion, which accounts, of course, for the fact that, socially speaking, you very rarely find any personal enmity between men. There are so many, many different kinds of businesses for men, that interests very seldom conflict--so that the broker resents _only_ the broker, and the minister resents _only_ the minister, and the merchant resents _only_ the merchant. Why, Bertus Sagner," she broke off abruptly, "you fairly idolize your chemistry friend here, and Lennart for history, and Dudley for mathematics, and all the others, and you glory in their achievements, and pray for their successes. But if there were another biology man here in town, you'd tear him and his methods tooth and nail, day and night. Yes, you would!--though you'd cover your hate a foot deep with superficial courtesies and 'professional etiquette.'"
She began to laugh. "Oh, the book is very wise," she continued more lightly. "It goes on to say that woman's only business in the whole wide world is LOVE--that Love is really the one and only, the Universal Profession for Women--so that every mortal feminine creature, from the brownest gypsy to the whitest queen, is in brutal, acute compet.i.tion with her neighbor. It's funny, isn't it!" she finished brightly.
"Very funny," growled Sagner.
"So you see," she persisted, "that we girls are jealous of 'Little Sister' in just about the same way in which an old-fas.h.i.+oned, rather conservative department store would be jealous of the first ten-cent store that came to town." A sudden rather fine white pride paled suddenly in her cheeks. "It isn't, you understand," she said, "it isn't because the ten-cent store's rhinestone comb, or tinsel ribbon, or slightly handled collar really competes with the other store's plainer but possibly honester values, but--because in the long run the public's frittered taste and frittered small change is absolutely bound to affect the general receipts of the more conservative store."
"And it isn't," she added hastily, "it isn't, you know, because we're not used to men. There isn't one of us--from the time we were sixteen years old--who hasn't been quite accustomed to entertain anywhere from three to a dozen men every evening of her life. But we can't entertain them the way 'Little Sister' does." A hot, red wave of mortification flooded her face. "We tried it once," she confessed, "and it didn't work. Just before the last winter party seven of us girls got together and deliberately made up our minds to beat 'Little Sister' at her own game. Wasn't it disgusting of us to start out actually and deliberately with the intention of being just a little wee bit free and easy with men?"
"How did it work?" persisted Sagner, half agrin.
The color flushed redder and redder into Madge Hubert's cheeks.
"I went to the party with the new psychology subst.i.tute," she continued bravely, "and as I stepped into the carriage I called him 'Fred'--and he looked as though he thought I was demented. But fifteen minutes afterward I heard 'Little Sister' call him 'Psyche'--and he laughed."
She began to laugh herself.
"But how did the party come out?" probed Sagner, going deeper and deeper.
The girl sobered instantly. "There were seven of us," she said, "and we all were to meet at the house of one of the girls at twelve o'clock and compare experiences. Three of us came home at ten o'clock--crying. And four of us didn't turn up till half-past one--laughing. But the ones who came home crying were the only ones who really had any fun out of it. The game was altogether too easy--that was the trouble with it. But the four who came home laughing had been bored to death with their _un_-successes."
"Which lot were you in?" cried Sagner.
She shook her head. "I won't tell you," she whispered.
With almost startling pluck she jumped up suddenly and switched the electric light full blast into her tense young face and across her resolute shoulders.
"Look at me!" she cried. "Look at me! As long as men are men--what have I that can possibly, possibly compete with a girl like 'Little Sister'?
Can I climb up into a man's face every time I want to speak to him? Can I pat a man's shoulder every time he pa.s.ses me in a room? Can I hold out my quivering white hand and act perfectly helpless in a man's presence every time that I want to step into a carriage, or out of a chair? Can I cry and grieve and mope into a man's arms at a dance just because I happen to cut my finger on the sharp edge of my dance-order? Bah! If a new man came to town and made not one single man-friend but called all of us girls by our first names the second time he saw us, and rolled his eyes at us, and fluttered his hands, you people would call him the biggest fool in Christendom--but you flock by the dozens and the hundreds and the millions every evening to see 'Little Sister.' And great, grown-up, middle-aged boys like _you_, Bertus Sagner, flock _twice_ in the same evening!"
With astounding irrelevance Sagner burst out laughing. "Why, Madge," he cried, "you're perfectly superb when you're mad. Keep it up. Keep it up.
I didn't know you had it in you! Why, you dear, gorgeous girl--WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED?"
Like a scarlet lightning-bolt spiked with two-edged knives the red wrath of the girl descended then and there on Sagner's ugly head. With her heaving young shoulders braced like a frenzied creature at bay, against a great, silly, towering tier of "Latest Novels," she hurled her flaming, irrevocable answer crash-bang into Sagner's astonished, impertinent face.
"You want to know why I'm not married?" she cried. "You want to know why I'm not married? Well, I'll tell you--why--I'm--not married, Bertus Sagner, and I'll use yourself for an ill.u.s.tration--for when I do come to marry, it is written in the stars that I must of necessity marry your kind, a mature, cool, calculating, emotionally-tamed man, a man of brain as well as brawn, a man of fame if not of fortune, a man bred intellectually, morally, socially, into the same wonderfully keen, thinky corner of the world where I was born--nothing but a woman.
"For four years, Bertus Sagner, ever since I was nineteen years old, people have come stumbling over each other at college receptions to stare at me because I am 'the girl that Bertus Sagner, the big biologist, is _almost_ in love with.' And you _are_ 'almost' in love with me, Bertus Sagner. You can't deny it! And what is more, you will stay 'almost' in love with me till our pulses run down like clocks, and our eyes burn out like lamps, and the Real Night comes. If I remain here in this town, even when I am middle-aged--people will come and stare at me--because of you. And when I am old, and you are gone--altogether, people will still be talking about it. 'Almost in love' with me. Yes, Bertus Sagner, but if next time you came to see me, I should even so much as dally for a second on the arm of your chair, and slip my hand just a little bit tremulously into yours, and brush my lips like the ghost of a b.u.t.terfly's wing across your love-starved face, you would probably find out then and there in one great, blinding, tingling, crunching flash that you LOVE ME NOW! But I don't want _you_, Bertus Sagner, nor any other man, at that price. The man who was made for me will love me first and get his petting afterward. There! Do you understand now?"
As though Sagner's gasp for breath was no more than the flutter of a book-leaf, she plunged on, "And as for Mrs. Lennart--"
Sagner jumped to his feet. "We weren't talking about Mrs. Lennart," he exclaimed hotly.
It has always seemed to me that very few things in the world are as quick as a woman's anger. But nothing in the world, I am perfectly positive, is as quick as a woman's amus.e.m.e.nt. As though an anarchist's bomb had exploded into confetti, Madge Hubert's sudden laughter sparkled through the room.
"Now, Bertus Sagner," she teased, "you just sit down again and listen to what I have to say."
Sagner sat down.
And as casually as though she were going to pour afternoon tea the girl slipped back into her own chair, and gave me a genuinely mirthful side-glance before she resumed her attack on Sagner.
"You were, too, talking about Mrs. Lennart," she insisted. "When you asked me to tell you exactly what a girl of my kind thinks of a girl like 'Little Sister,' do you suppose for a second I didn't understand that the thing you really wanted to find out was whether Mrs. Lennart was getting hurt or not in this 'Little Sister' business? Oh, no, Mrs.
Lennart hasn't been hurt for a long, long time--several months perhaps.
I think she looks a little bit bored now and then, but not hurt."
"Lennart's a splendid fellow," protested Sagner.