We Should Have Slept While Only Holding Hands, And Yet?! - BestLightNovel.com
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“Huh, oh, isn’t it Jaim?”
“Hi, Jaim!”
“You came here with your dad today, huh?”
“Is it okay for you to come to school?”
“By the way······. What’s wrong with Jaim?”
My cla.s.smates welcomed Jaim, who they hadn’t seen for a while since Jaim had stopped coming to school, but their expressions soon changed into puzzlement once they saw Jaim’s state.
“It’s nothing. She’s just feeling a bit sick.”
“What happened to Jaim’s hand? It’s completely wrapped in bandages.”
“Her face as well······. Was there a problem or something?”
“Jaro, your face isn’t a joke either, you know?”
That’s obvious. I wasn’t able to get a wink of sleep last night.
“Jaim, what’s wrong? Does it hurt a lot?”
“Uu, uuu······. Uuuuu······.”
Jaim backed away from my cla.s.smates who were trying to approach her while talking to her in a friendly tone. However, she couldn’t possibly escape since I was holding onto her hand. Although she was also incredibly terrified of holding hands with me, it couldn’t be helped. I couldn’t leave her like this after all.
“Go away, you guys. You’re scaring Jaim.”
“Why would Jaim be afraid? We didn’t do anything.”
“If she’s scared, then wouldn’t it be of you?”
They chuckled as if they had said a good joke. Yeah, it’s exactly as you guys said. She’s probably more afraid of me. Regardless,
“I get it, so go away already!”
Because of my shout, all of my cla.s.smates shut their mouths.
“Uu, uuk······.”
Moreover, because of my shout, Jaim, who was already in a state of panic, became even more terrified and tried to pull her hand away from me in order to place even the slightest bit more distance between us.
“······Hiik.”
Because I had turned my head to look at her, she became so bewildered that it appeared as if she held her breath,
“I-I’m sorry······. I-I won’t do it again······.”
So while lowering her head, she trembled as if I were going to scold her at any moment.
“······No. It’s fine.”
I couldn’t even let out a proper sigh. The edges of my mouth were twitching.
Within one day, just how many things have changed within a single day?
The terrified Jaim became more nervous because it seems she was afraid of my action, but it couldn’t be helped. Regardless of whether this kid was the source of the problem or not, I couldn’t leave her like this.
At first, I thought that she was doing this on purpose.
Like the time I had tried to gain the attention of those two people, I thought that this kid must have been doing the same thing.
Because she was like me. Because she had a similar past as I did.
But that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t on purpose. I could at least tell that much. That’s why I couldn’t leave her be.
Also, throughout that entire night, Saeyeon didn’t return.
“Hi, everyone! Good morning!”
In that moment. The back door of the cla.s.sroom opened and I heard an enthusiastic greeting. The same greeting and giggle which I’ve heard every single day until now.
Because of Saeyeon’s appearance, Jaim’s face became further consumed by fear.
However, everyone must have felt that something was out of place.
She hadn’t slept at all. I could tell. I’ve been watching over her until now after all.
Her large eyes were saturated in exhaustion, and her soft cheeks, which used to be perfect to pull on, appeared to be lacking any elasticity right now. If it were a normal girl, then she would most likely know how to cover all of that up with makeup, but the childish Saeyeon didn’t know how to.
Both her child-like face and her physique which didn’t suit her had no energy in them. Her shoulders were drooped and her clothes were wrinkled. Only her strengthless giggle that was trying to sound energetic, was doing its best to emanate her usual atmosphere.
However, I didn’t say anything.
Playing house was over.
In the end, everything has an opportunity. Even things like a childhood friend becoming just a person who lives next door and then becoming a stranger. Whether it’s because of the flow of time or an occurrence like this.
An existence which possesses, since the very beginning, a defect that will make it break down,
will have no other choice but to break down when the time comes.
It can’t be fixed, nor do I intend to fix it.
I was tired of being delusional.
So, even if Saeyeon is hurt, and no matter what expression she makes, I don’t care about what happens to Saeyeon since she had heard all that from me yesterday.
Once I turned away, I heard them talk behind me.
“Saeyeon, did Jaro bully you again?”
“Jaim’s state is weird as well. Don’t tell me he put his hands on you yesterday as well?”
“······What?”
Because of the weird sensation I felt at that moment, I turned my head around despite knowing that I shouldn’t pay attention to them.
Our cla.s.smates were surrounding Saeyeon. They looked at Saeyeon with worried expressions on their faces and spoke.
“No matter how you think about it, aren’t Saeyeon’s parents going too far? Just because he lives next door, they asked Jaro for a favor. Even though it’s clear that Saeyeon doesn’t like it.”
“Yeah. Saeyeon, as I thought, wouldn’t it be better to do something for Jaim’s sake? Although I’m not sure how you two even had a daughter when you don’t get along······.”
“Wait, what are you guys talking about?”
Once I stood up and asked that, different to their previous expressions, they gave me hostile looks and pointed at Saeyeon.
“That’s the case, isn’t it? Jaro, you, you did something to Saeyeon and Jaim yesterday as well, right?”
“Even if you dislike Saeyeon, isn’t putting your hands on Jaim as well going too far? You definitely did something severe, didn’t you?”
Their reaction this time was clearly different to back when I had entered the cla.s.sroom with Jaim for the first time. They were responding as if I hated Saeyeon since the very beginning.
When I inadvertently turned to glance at Jaim, Jaim trembled in fear and avoided my gaze. I was somehow able to grasp the situation due to that action.
Information contamination, memory manipulation. That incomprehensible emotion I felt when Jaim appeared for the first time.
But, it was different to that time. In spite of myself, I felt relieved.
Yeah, I’m uncertain of the reasons, but if they all know that I dislike Saeyeon, if they believe that we’ve always had a bad relations.h.i.+p, then even Saeyeon, who was scarred by my words, wouldn’t be able to approach me.
I had thought that. I pleaded for that to be the case.
However,
“······Jjaro, what happened to Jaim?”
I know. Since it’s Saeyeon, since she’s a child, since she’s so kind-hearted.
I knew that Saeyeon would approach me because of their words.
But it would have been better if she didn’t come.
“Jaim, look at your mom.”
“······Uu, uuuu······.”
Because Saeyeon had drawn near and asked Jaim that while grabbing onto her shoulders, Jaim acted as if she had been caught for doing something bad and twisted her body in order to escape my hand.
“Jjaro, what’s wrong with Jaim? Hm?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know······? Did something happen after what happened yesterday? Hm? She was so bright up till yesterday, so isn’t it weird that she’s suddenly like this? Is she hurt somewhere? What can we do? What happened? Hm? Jjaro. ······Jjaro!”
“Shut up!”
Because of those words, I couldn’t hold back any longer.
“I’m sick and tired of it! That att.i.tude of yours!”
Why did she approach me?
Despite having heard those words, having been scarred, having cried in front of me, having shouted that I was a dummy or whatever as loudly as you could, even though you must have shut yourself in your room and cried,
As if nothing happened, as if those things didn’t matter, as if you didn’t care about what happened, as if you had already forgotten about something like that.
Even though everyone was acting as if they knew that this was the case, even though they believed that our relations.h.i.+p was bad since the start, even though she should be smart enough to at least understand that.
As if she didn’t care about the gazes of the people around her, as if right now wasn’t the time to be concerned about that.
Even though she knew that I had played around with her however I pleased, even though she knew that I had lied to her, even though she knew everything, despite that.
Every time you’re like that, every time you show such a radiant appearance,
every time you show such an honest and upright appearance, do you know how miserable I feel?
Because it feels like you’re mocking the twisted and crooked me, because it feels like you’re making fun of me for still being bound by something like that, my shadow thickens.
Do you want to stay as such a good kid? How pathetic do you want to make me before you’re satisfied? Fine. Do what you want.
“If you’re that worried, then take her and ask her yourself!”
I pushed Jaim towards the hesitating Saeyeon and stood up.
“W-Wait! Jaro, isn’t that going too······.”
“······Get out of the way.”
I pushed aside my muttering cla.s.smates, who couldn’t possibly block my path, and slammed the door shut as I left. Because I wouldn’t be able to endure if I stayed there any longer.
My irritation didn’t stop.
ÅÅÅ
“Congratulations, Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro.”
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom clapped as she said that.
“······What are you congratulating me for?”
“Hm? Didn’t everything end up as Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro had desired?”
In my hideout, the ‘Creative Science Club’ club room, where I would always meet Uppercla.s.sman Nabom. I could hear her words clearly since there was no one else here.
“As Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro wanted, a problem has occurred with Miss Jaim. Furthermore, everyone now believes that your relations.h.i.+p with Undercla.s.sman Ja Saeyeon has always been bad since the very beginning. Now, just as Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro had intended, I’ll be taking Miss Jin Jaim away. Aren’t you happy?”
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom smiled and bowed her head.
“Well, I’ve been really indebted to you throughout this time, but still, Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro, I see that you take care of your work with certainty. I expected you to take more time.”
There wasn’t even a single drop of emotion within Uppercla.s.sman Nabom’s face as she said those words while smiling. Thus, it was hard for me to say anything.
“Wait. Jaim ended up like that, but you’re congratulating me?”
I was barely able to squeeze out my words.
“Is there a problem?”
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom asked me that as if she were truly surprised.
“You intended to do this since the beginning, didn’t you?”
Yeah. I did. I planned to do this since the start.
The instant the bothersome kid caused a problem, I was going to report it to Uppercla.s.sman Nabom and have her take the kid back to the future. I was planning to do that, but······.
“What are you going to do about the problem that has occurred here?”
“That’s irrelevant to me. I absolutely hate bothersome things.”
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom answered so cleanly that it almost sounded refres.h.i.+ng. What is she saying despite having shoved people around however she pleased until now?
The moment I was about to get upset, Uppercla.s.sman Nabom added.
“There’s nothing more for me to do here.”
“What about the time paradox? If Jaim goes back like this, then······.”
“What are you talking about, Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro?”
As she said that, the smile that Uppercla.s.sman Nabom made, was an expression that I was seeing for the first time. She has always been that type of person, but this smile was a first.
A mocking smile that bluntly appeared as if she were asking me if I were stupid.
“The type of time paradox which Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro is thinking about doesn’t exist.”
“······What did you say?”
“I’m certain that I told you before. ‘I came here in order to prevent a problem from occurring because of Miss Jaim’. It seems that Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro had misunderstood something.”
While chuckling to herself, Uppercla.s.sman Nabom walked towards me while brus.h.i.+ng her fingers along the top of the table.
“It is indeed similar, however, the problem which Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro is thinking about will not occur. The side where the problem will occur is on Miss Jaim’s side.”
“What is that supposed to······.”
Before I could even finish my sentence, I remembered.
At one point, I had asked her a question. I asked her if I ‘united’ with Saeyeon like Jaim wanted and Uppercla.s.sman Nabom had suggested, then wouldn’t a time paradox occur.
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom had told me back then as well. She had told me that if there’s a problem and Jaim is the reason, then she’ll have a reason to take her back.
At that time I believed that if I tried to unite with Saeyeon, then a reason to take Jaim away would be made since that would cause a time paradox.
But that wasn’t the case. Reality doesn’t change. The only thing that will change is Jaim’s memories. Only an ‘information contamination’ will occur. Like now.
“Isn’t it interesting? Even if the cause changes, the result will not change.”
“Then, in the end, that means······.”
“It means that everything Miss Jaim has done was in vain since the beginning.”
Even while speaking those cold-hearted words, Uppercla.s.sman Nabom smiled.
Yeah. That would be the case. I understood.
Eventually, I’ll most likely continue to look after Saeyeon just like before.
Since I had twisted her into a way that suited me.
A child who couldn’t properly become a woman would definitely choose the boy she likes who lives next door.
Then the aftermath is obvious.
Jin Jaro and Ja Saeyeon, will end up giving birth to Jin Jaim.
Jin Jaro and Ja Saeyeon, will end up fighting and breaking up.
Jin Jaro and Jin Jaim, will end up being incapable of getting along.
Because the past doesn’t change.
“Well, though I did hope that everything would turn out a bit better, things have already wound up like this so it shouldn’t matter now. There’s the saying that ‘the end justifies the means’.”
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom tapped on her lips as if she were thinking about something before continuing.
“Well, although it seems Miss Jin Jaim’s Memory Manipulator has malfunctioned due to the information contamination, that goes beyond my field of expertise. It doesn’t seem like it’ll cause any additional harm either.”
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom beamed and gave an explanation.
“The Memory Manipulator works by altering the perception of the people around them towards the direction the user desires. It seems that because of Miss Jaim’s information contamination, it has made everyone perceive your relations.h.i.+p with Undercla.s.sman Ja Saeyeon as having always been bad. Isn’t that great?”
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom then stood in front of me and gave me a military salute.
“Once again, thank you for your work, Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro. Additionally, congratulations. Now you won’t have to see your daughter anymore.”
“Don’t tell me, you were planning this since the very beginning······?”
Due to a strange chill that went down my spine, I asked her that while mumbling.
How she would say nonsensical jokes, how she had tempted me while displaying a friendly appearance, how she had made Saeyeon jealous, how the conclusion had ended up like this,
⎯⎯⎯Big Sis Nabom told me. I asked her what I had to do in order to be more like a couple with Jjaro, and she said that I should tell Jjaro that I want to sleep together, and if you still refuse······. Then to do, this.
This was all, planned·····?
“Who knows·····?”
In response to my question, Uppercla.s.sman Nabom answered while tilting her head.
“You may think whatever you wish. As I told you before, I’m a government employee, I hold efficiency as my highest priority. You may accept whatever’s most convenient for you.”
“How, could you do such·····.”
“Rather, the one I’m unable to understand is you, Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro.”
While continuing to tilt her head, Uppercla.s.sman Nabom asked.
“Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro, you clearly said that you hated families, did you not? From the start, you tried to get rid of Miss Jaim and you merely forced yourself to stay with Undercla.s.sman Ja Saeyeon despite disliking her. Isn’t this a good thing? Why is your face like that even though everything has turned out how you wanted?”
Yeah. That was the case. Things have become like I wanted. Jaim will disappear and I’ll go back to my normal life. Although everyone now perceives my relations.h.i.+p with Saeyeon as having always been bad, that was good in its own way. I was finally able to get rid of my bothersome luggage and live by myself just as I have always wanted.
The maid robot that I had been aiming to make has been completed for now. Although it’s still in its initial stage, I’ve piled up a lot of research data. With this, I’ll be able to make something more advanced next time.
The backing from Saeyeon’s parents may come to a halt, but it’s not like my livelihood will come to a stop as well. I still have the royalties from my patents. I could also get a part-time job or whatever and maintain my livelihood with that. It’s already been a long time since I’ve become familiar with living by myself. If anything, I’ve been trying to live way too easily until now.
Even though everything has turned out how I wanted.
“Well, things have become slightly tiresome since I didn’t expect Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro to bring Miss Jaim to school, but·····. I should be able to take care of it, so, Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro, you don’t have to concern yourself that far. I’ll handle things from here.”
I didn’t know what she meant by that, but I had to at least ask her this much.
“Jaim, when she goes back to the future, will she be able to return back to normal?”
“No. That’s impossible.”
Without waiting to think for even a single second, Uppercla.s.sman Nabom answered flat out.
“In the future, you cannot fix a problem that has happened in the past. Once Miss Jaim returns to the future, she’ll receive a punishment for traveling through time illegally, and, although she will receive treatment there, due to the characteristics of information contamination, a full recovery will be impossible.”
“Then that means·····.”
“It’s fine, isn’t it?”
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom smiled and brushed past me.
“In any case, please coordinate the story properly. Because of what you had done, Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro, I have to go through some hards.h.i.+p.”
“·····What? What is that supposed to·····.”
Right when I was about to turn around, Uppercla.s.sman Nabom had already left.
ÅÅÅ
“·····Saeyeon, didn’t I tell you several times to not bring her to school?”
“Ah, that’s·····. Uhm·····.”
Our homeroom teacher, who had a gorilla-like body, scratched his head with the end of his ballpoint pen and spoke in a troubled voice. The other teachers in the teachers’ room had perplexed looks on their faces.
“Ah, never mind. In any case, what’s wrong with the little missy?”
In response to those words that were said with a sigh, Jaim, who had been looking down while holding onto Saeyeon’s hand, became bewildered and shrunk back.
“T-This morning, it seems that she woke up not feeling well.”
“Is that so. Hm·····.”
Although our homeroom teacher glimpsed at me as if Saeyeon’s answer was suspicious, he shook his head as if it were fine and looked at me and Saeyeon.
“I heard your explanation before, but allow me to ask again.”
Our homeroom teacher took a strangely long breath before speaking. I felt a sense of dread and anxiety for some reason. This person only talked like this whenever something big had happened.
“That little girl, is she really your cousin?”
I didn’t reply. Saeyeon quickly answered instead.
“S-She’s really our cousin! So·····. Uu·····. I-In any case, she’s our cousin!”
“·····Haa.”
Our homeroom teacher let out a deep sigh and turned to look at me.
“Jaro, don’t get me wrong and listen to me. Although I did it knowing that you wouldn’t like it, it was something that I had to do as your teacher.”
What is he trying to say?
Our homeroom teacher tapped his ballpoint pen against his desk a couple of times.
“I called your parents.”
“·····What?”
Despite having prepared myself for what he had to say, waves of cold and hot electricity shot through my entire body.
“Why did you call them without asking me?!”
“Hiik·····.”
Because I had yelled while having forgotten that I was currently in the teachers’ room, Jaim panicked once more. The other teachers furrowed their brows, but our homeroom teacher simply nodded his head.
“Yeah. I knew you would say that, Jaro.”
“If you knew, then you shouldn’t have called them! Why did you contact those people?! Without saying a single thing to me, how could you·····!”
“Jin Jaro.”
Tap, our homeroom teacher lowered his pen and let out another sigh.
“It was weird no matter how much I thought about it, so I gave them a call and they both told me that they didn’t know anything about this. They weren’t aware of any relative like that, and even if they did, they said that they wouldn’t have asked you to handle it, Jaro, since there’s no reason for them to do that.”
Although my fists were shaking and my heart was pounding so furiously that it was difficult to breathe, I did my best to stand properly and listen to what our homeroom teacher had to say.
“So I called you both here in order to ask you again. Saeyeon, since I can’t contact your parents because they’re on vacation, I’ll ask you. Is that little girl perhaps your cousin?”
“T-That’s what I’ve been saying. She’s my cousin who I said I’d take care of for a while·····.”
“She isn’t.”
“Jjaro?”
In response to my words that had cut her off, Saeyeon looked at me.
“·····Jaro, what did you say just now?”
While clenching both my teeth and fists, I spoke as if I were spitting out my words.
“She isn’t my cousin or Saeyeon’s cousin. We’re simply keeping her around because she calls Saeyeon and me Mom and Dad.”
All right. Everyone’s going to be that way, huh?
Saeyeon, Uppercla.s.sman Nabom, our homeroom teacher, those two people, everyone.
⎯⎯⎯You intended to do this since the beginning, didn’t you?
⎯⎯⎯Be quiet! This is all your fault!
That’s right. I intended to do this from the beginning. That’s right. Everything was this brat’s fault from the beginning. We were simply keeping around a bothersome and annoying existence who would be better off gone.
If things have already come this far, and if the situation is going to help me, then there was absolutely no reason for me to go through any more hards.h.i.+ps.
Our homeroom teacher let out a sigh because of my answer.
“·····No wonder I couldn’t find her family registration or anything else no matter how much I searched for them. Then who exactly is this little girl?”
“T-Teacher, that’s not it. Like I said·····.”
Although Saeyeon desperately tried to make up an excuse while panicking, there’s no way that she would be able to make a proper excuse with a kid’s brain.
Our homeroom teacher waved his hand at Saeyeon as if he no longer had a need to hear what she had to say and turned to talk to me.
“Then tell me the truth this time. Who is this little girl and why you’re looking after her. The other teachers are worried as well. The little girl is still, well, a little girl, and there are also weird rumors going around about you two among the other students.”
I didn’t answer. Our homeroom teacher turned his gaze.
“·····All right. Then I’ll ask the little girl first. Little girl?”
“Hiik·····.”
Due to the sight of me keeping my mouth shut, our homeroom teacher turned his head towards Jaim.
Although Jaim was terrified and trying to run away, it seems Saeyeon wasn’t able to adapt to the situation yet as she had put more strength into her hand and was anxiously looking at our homeroom teacher.
“I’m not a scary person. I’m not trying to scold you either. Now then, tell me. Can you tell me who you are, little girl? Where did you come from?”
“·····Ah, uu, so·····.”
Jaim looked around as if she were asking for help. However, the other teachers were still just looking this way with sharp eyes. There was no one here to help her.
“S-So, so, ah, uh, uu·····.”
Because of the sight of Jaim being unable to talk properly, our homeroom teacher forcefully smiled with his gorilla-like face before speaking in the gentlest voice that he could muster.
“That’s it. You can talk slowly, so take your time. Oh right. Do you want a piece of candy? Here, it’s good.”
However, Jaim backed away as if the piece of candy had been coated in poison. She desperately tried to pull her hand away from me as if she were pleading me to let her escape, but I didn’t release my grip.
“I-It’s, so, me, no, I, uu, am·····.”
“Okay, good. You’re what?”
Eventually, Jaim realized that the only way to escape from this situation was to talk, so she hesitantly opened her mouth.
“·····I, ca,me, fr,om, the fu, ture·····.”
Our homeroom teacher’s face slightly hardened because of that answer. Jaim must have thought that he was about to scold her so she then spoke quickly.
“M-Mom, and, Dad, that, since, I was, young, fought, eventually, Mom, left, home, D-Dad, said, i, it was, my fa, ult, s-so, if I, went back, to, the ti, me, when M-Mom, and Dad, were close, a, long, ti, me, ago, so, if I, can change, even, a little, bit·····.”
I involuntarily ended up turning towards Jaim with my mouth hanging agape.
Is this ‘information contamination’?
Was it all changed because I had fought with Saeyeon, because there was no way that we’d be able to become a harmonious family at this rate, because I had told her that I didn’t need her, because I had told her that it was her fault? Her memories, her remembrances. Everything.
Jaim must have believed that, at the very least, Saeyeon and I got along while she was little. That Saeyeon and my relations.h.i.+p only got worse because of that day on which we fought after she was born.
But that wasn’t the case. What she had witnessed was the sight of Saeyeon and I shouting at each other and fighting before she had even been born. The sight of me shouting that I had never seen Saeyeon as a woman and that I disliked her.
Since that was the case, there’s no way that my relations.h.i.+p with Saeyeon would be good.
Her memories of her harmonious childhood were all a delusion.
The fact that she was born was proof that the two of us had a relations.h.i.+p, however, there’s no way that we were living in harmony. We most likely fought constantly.
Adding to that, as I had shouted before, it was all her fault.
There’s no way that her parents, who disliked her and thought it was her fault, would simply ignore her. They most likely hara.s.sed her. They most likely scared her. They most likely scolded her. If that happened, then, of course she would be afraid.
Our homeroom teacher was quietly listening to all of that.
“·····Haa.”
As if he didn’t need to hear the rest, our homeroom teacher made Jaim stop by waving his hand before letting out a deep sigh.
“As I thought.”
“W-Wait, teacher. It’s not like that!”
“No. Saeyeon, I know what you’re trying to say. You did well up till now. It must have been hard looking after a little girl like this.”
As if he understood everything, our homeroom teacher patted Saeyeon’s shoulder.
“Teacher, what should we do? As I thought, should we contact the police?”
“That would be good. As you can tell, her mind seems a bit weird as well·····.”
“Do you think it’s because of abuse or something?”
“If we contact the police, then shouldn’t they be able to identify her?”
“We should contact places like missing children shelters as well.”
“No, that’s not. Wait·····.”
While ignoring Saeyeon’s words, our homeroom teacher was now focused on his conversation with the other teachers who had drawn closer to us before we knew it. What would be a good way to deal with the little girl who was saying weird things like being from the future, and among those methods, what would be optimal.
“Saeyeon, you did a good job.”
“Jaro, you did a good job as well. Honestly, I thought that you were a weird kid, but I guess you also have this kind of side to you.”
“You did well. Us teachers will handle it from here.”
“Yeah, good job. I see that even Jaro has this sort of side to his personality.”
While patting my shoulder, the teachers spoke as if they were proud of us.
Even though I didn’t do this to be praised. Even though I didn’t do this with that intention in mind. Even though I wasn’t trying to boast that ‘I had this sort of side to me’.
“Wait a moment! I said that’s not the case!”
I calmly spoke towards the teachers who weren’t listening to the crying Saeyeon’s words.
“Then I’ll be leaving first.”
“Jjaro!”
Although Saeyeon turned to look at me with pleading eyes, it didn’t matter to me. If you want to do something, then do it with your own strength from now on.
The instant I turned my body, squeeze, as if she were afraid of what the teachers were discussing, Jaim held my hand. Albeit she soon became startled and let go. I cast away her hand without any lingering attachment and left the teachers’ room by myself.
I didn’t know why, but I was gritting my teeth audibly.
ÅÅÅ
“Jjaro, do you have a minute?”
After school, Nanda called out to me and pointed behind him with his thumb. He’s most likely telling me to come outside.
In the end, it was concluded that people would come to take Jaim away tomorrow.
The teachers said that cases like this had to be dealt with quickly, so the conversation progressed as if they had already made preparations beforehand. Although it seems Saeyeon tried to persuade and stop the teachers however she could, it seems her efforts were wasted.
Saeyeon wordlessly turned to look at me each time that happened, but I ignored her.
I was sick and tired of this now.
“·····Is it something you have to tell me now?”
“A moment of your time is fine. It won’t take long.”
If he says so. I nodded my head.
The ‘Creative Science Club’ club room. My hideout.
Nanda locked the door behind him as he followed me into the room.
“Jjaro, take your gla.s.ses off for a bit.”
“·····All right.”
I knew what he was going to do. I took my gla.s.ses off.
I saw stars. This guy, he hit me seriously.
Nanda spoke while shaking his right hand.
“I honestly shouldn’t have done that since this is my mic hand.”
He then grinned and sat down on a chair.
“I told you yesterday, didn’t I? I told you to apologize to Saeyeon as soon as you got home. What are you thinking?”
The fact that he could smile coolly like that despite having hit me hard enough to see stars and the fact that I didn’t feel particularly upset about it was most likely Nanda’s charm.
“I’m not thinking of anything. It’s exactly as you heard.”
“Well, I didn’t believe that she was really your daughter anyway, but.”
As he said that, Nanda had a somewhat forlorn expression on his face.
“·····Still, seeing the little lady who told me that she was my number one fan behave like that all of a sudden is, as I thought, painful.”
“But it has nothing to do with you.”
In response to my words that I had said while rubbing my stinging cheek, Nanda nodded his head.
“Yeah. It probably has nothing to do with me.”
After saying that, Nanda looked straight at me.
“Then what about you, Jjaro?”
“·····.”
I missed my timing to respond. Nanda smiled.
“I don’t know the circ.u.mstances and I don’t really want to know either. Jjaro, your reason is your own reason after all. If you won’t say it, then I don’t plan to question you about it.”
And I have no plans to tell him.
Nanda gave me an earnest look as he saw that I was staying quiet before continuing.
“But at the very least, I have to tell you this. Jjaro, you really resemble someone right now. You know that, right?”
“·····I know.”
Among the untaught ma.s.ses, the reason why Nanda and I are able to call each other ‘friends’, is because this guy knew my circ.u.mstances and understood it.
Last year, when we were in the same cla.s.s, in response to when I had absentmindedly told him about my past, he displayed a forlorn smile and spoke these words, ‘That must have been difficult’.
I hated that. Even though he had a proper family, even though there’s no way that he would understand my situation, I absolutely hated it when he had patted my shoulder as if he understood.
That’s why I believed that if I was going to make friends, then it would only be this guy.
Because if it’s this guy, who’s capable of sympathizing with me because I’m able to live by myself, then I’d be able to spit in that smiling face of his one day.
When the time comes, I feel like the only way that my pitied self could feel better would be if I could see his face after he’s been betrayed by someone he trusts.
Regardless, while showing the same forlorn smile as before, Nanda spoke.
“I believe that someone else’s business is their own business, so I don’t plan to trespa.s.s into the safe zone that you had set up, Jjaro. However, since I’m your friend, I’ll tell you something from my position outside that zone.”
Nanda erased the pleasant smile from his face and looked straight, directly at me.
“There are times, when you have to know another person’s situation. Especially if it’s the situation of your family.”
“·····It’s not a concern of mine. She’s not even my family.”
She’s merely claiming to be my family. I have never perceived it as such.
Similar to how I have never sincerely perceived this guy as my friend.
“Is that so? Then I have nothing more to say.”
Nanda let out a chuckle as he got up.
“It’s your business, Jjaro, so I won’t say anything more. If you’re going to be like that, then so be it. I’m your friend and not your family after all.”
“If you have something to say, then say it properly.”
Nanda turned to look back at me as he opened the door.
“If you’re incapable of understanding something if it isn’t said properly, then you really are a child.”
Nanda spoke as if he were gazing at an unfortunate friend.
“And if you don’t try to listen, then you’ll continue to be a child.”
ÅÅÅ
“Ja Saeyeon.”
Because of the sight of me standing next to Saeyeon’s seat and speaking to her, our cla.s.smates turned their heads. As if they were staring at a bomb that was about to go off, they looked as if they would step forward at any moment in order to prevent it.
They were evidently raising their guards and whispering among one another. Don’t tell me he’s going to start something again? Shouldn’t we stop him right now? etc etc.
“·····Yeah, Jjaro.”
Between the whispers, Saeyeon quietly answered.
“I’ll be taking Jaim home.”
I wasn’t doing this specifically because of what Nanda had said. I merely wanted to confirm something. That was all.
Of course, she most likely won’t let me take Jaim. Saeyeon doesn’t even know what happened yesterday. Additionally, I had said those words to her yesterday. That I disliked her, that I was sick and tired of her. I even clearly refused when she was asking for my help earlier.
“Okay.”
But Saeyeon smiled brightly and answered like that.
“·····Eh?”
“Then I’ll go home by myself today. I’ll try to handle dinner by myself as well.”
Saeyeon displayed a confident look on her face as if she were telling me to not worry.
Why.
Although I couldn’t muster the strength to say what was on my mind, Saeyeon must have read my expression in some way as she continued to smile.
“If Jjaro is saying that, then that means he’ll definitely do something.”
Among all of the things that Saeyeon does, this was what I hated the most.
She holds expectations on her own and gets disappointed on her own.
Regardless, right now wasn’t the time to get upset about that.
I didn’t say anything more and left to pick up Jaim, who was being looked after by the school nurse, a nurse who was closer to being a grandma, at the infirmary.
“Take special care of that girl. It seems she has a lot of injuries in her heart.”
I couldn’t say anything in return to what the school nurse had said as I left.
“·····.”
Moreover, as I had expected, Jaim didn’t respond at all throughout the entire day.
No, it would be better to say that she was constantly trembling in the corner of the room.
Even after a considerable amount of time had pa.s.sed since we got home, like an injured animal, like a scared cat, Jaim stayed in the corner with her back against the wall and kept watching me with fearful eyes that were dark and filled to the brim with anxiety.
She was unable to bite her nails because of the bandages that were wrapped around her hand, so I had to stop her several times since she would try to bite the bandages off. Every time I did, she would flinch and repeatedly say ‘I’m sorry’ once more.
She didn’t eat either. Even though I filled the plates with her favorite foods, she wouldn’t even take a glimpse at them. I did hear her stomach grumble, but it appeared as if she suspected that the food I made her was filled with poison.
She should be tired since she wasn’t able to sleep at all since yesterday, but it seems she was afraid that I might do something to her while she’s asleep.
“·····Kid.”
Time went by like that and the day had ended before I knew it. It was now today. Once morning arrives, I was going to have to say farewell to this kid.
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom had told me. She told me that she was going to have to go through some hards.h.i.+ps because I had brought Jaim to school. I wonder what she meant by that. Did she mean that she has to now kidnap Jaim while she’s on her way to a child shelter or whatever in order to take her back to the future?
Or did she mean that she has to go through some hards.h.i.+ps because she won’t be able to take her away now?
“·····Kid.”
Dark trembling eyes that made it clear that she had her guard up.
“Come here. Let’s talk for a bit. Okay?”
I wonder what this kid is thinking.
Is she relieved that she no longer has to face a scary person like me once morning arrives? What thoughts are going back and forth within those dark eyes?
“If you don’t come here, then I’ll come to you, you know?”
“·····Uu.”
Twitch, Jaim pushed her body against the wall even more. She was even eyeing the door behind me so she could avoid and get away from me if she had to.
Yeah, that’s right. Of course. Anyone would want to run away from something that scares them. Especially if it’s from the person who told her that she wasn’t needed and never wanted her. There’s no way that she would want to go near that person.
“All right. Then listen to me from there.”
No answer. She only looked at me with scared eyes and moved her head in a vague manner that made it so that I couldn’t tell if she were nodding or shaking her head.
There’s a chance that she was simply trembling.
Regardless, and in spite of that.
“You know, I thought that I didn’t need something like a family.”
Since this is the end anyway.
If it’s someone who I’m not sure was listening to me or not,
if it’s someone who won’t understand unless told properly,
then I’ll most likely be able to actually talk with ease.
I hate families.
Since they make you have false hope.
Since they make you work hard for nothing.
When I was young, I believed that I could change something if I worked hard.
If I helped my parents, if I did whatever I could, then I believed that it would work out somehow. Since we’re a family. Since we’re a precious existence that you only have one of. If there’s a difficult task, then we help each other. Since we’re an existence that shares each other’s happiness and pain. Since we’re an existence that everyone obviously has, and if they don’t, then it’d be painful.
Ever since she was little, Saeyeon has always been a dope.
If someone didn’t help her, then she really couldn’t do anything.
Every time I saw Saeyeon like that, it was pitiful.
During pre-school, there was a time when she had tried to eat mud while we were playing house. I hit her on the back of her head in order to stop her and went to fight with the kids who had made her do that.
During elementary school, there was a time when she had brought a doll, which she had cherished since she was a baby, to school, and ended up being teased for it and someone even threw her doll away. I comforted Saeyeon so she wouldn’t cry and, after picking the doll up from the river, I went after the guys who did it and beat them up.
Because Saeyeon was scolded by the teacher for being unable to properly learn Korean literature and simple mathematics, I had tutored her throughout the night at a young age. When she was crying because she had broken a window during cleaning time, I told the teacher that I had done it and got in trouble in her stead. There was a time she said she was going to copy me since I cooked for my parents and wound up almost starting a fire, so I ended up helping her.
And, every time I saw Saeyeon like that, I was jealous.
Because Saeyeon had a family that looked after her.
Because she had parents that would smile and comfort her whenever she went to them crying. I envied that.
I was jealous of the laughter I would hear next door whenever I was eating dinner by myself.
Whenever I went to visit Saeyeon, who had a weak const.i.tution since she was little and would often fall sick, while she was ill, I would be jealous of the fact that her parents would take a day off from work and take care of her all day.
That’s why I felt miserable whenever Saeyeon approached me.
I was annoyed because of Saeyeon who would always stick close to me.
Why me? Even though she has a family. Even though she already has people who would comfort her and take care of her without something like me around, why me?
I would get irritated whenever I heard Saeyeon’s parents or any other adult say that we got along. Even though I’m not taking care of her because I want to. Even though I’m simply taking care of her because she felt like too much of a child.
Regardless, no one understood. Everyone thought that I was taking care of her because I liked her.
Saeyeon’s mother had a weak const.i.tution like Saeyeon. When I was young, I thought that that was the reason why Saeyeon’s body was weak.
In the end, she had fallen sick due to a bad illness and pa.s.sed away around the same time Saeyeon was about to start elementary school.
She was a good person. She would worry about me who was home alone often. She would occasionally invite me over to have dinner with them and she would even suggest that I should stay over for the night.
She would always tease me by calling me ‘Jjaro’.
During my last meeting with her, Saeyeon’s mother had said this to me,
“Since this old lady can no longer look after Saeyeon, I'll leave her in your care, Jjaro.”
She smiled as if it were regrettable and stroked my hair.
“Saeyeon is kind, innocent, and dopey·····. Someone has to constantly be by her side, but it seems that’s going to be impossible for this old lady.”
So please stay beside Saeyeon in this old lady’s stead, Jjaro.
“I’m only asking you this because you’re like our son, Jjaro.”
Because she couldn’t do it herself. She arbitrarily expected me to do it.
Even while in front of death’s door, she asked me to carry out a lifelong request.
I envied that so much.
Even Saeyeon’s new mother, her current mother, who Saeyeon’s father had married several years later, was like that.
“Since it's Jaro, who's like our son, we'll help you if you look after Saeyeon.”
She spoke as if she were coercing me once more with an unheard of promise.
I begrudged that so much.
That’s why, I hated families even more.
Because I wasn’t able to have one.
If I could choose, then I wanted to be born in a family like that as well.
Not a household that would ignore me as if I didn’t exist, no, as if I were a nuisance, but a family that would embrace me warmly.
I wished that I had parents who would say that for me.
But something like that didn’t exist. I didn’t have it.
An existence that everyone obviously has and would be painful if you didn’t, this was a lie.
If you don’t have a family, then you could live using your own strength just as I have.
An existence that helps each other if there’s a difficult task and shares each other’s happiness and struggles, this was a lie.
Because I have dealt with difficult tasks by myself. Because I have enjoyed happy occasions and overcome struggles all by myself.
The fact that it was a precious existence that you only had one of, this was also a lie.
Since I didn’t even have one.
So, I don’t need, a family.
“But, but I don’t get it!”
Because I had shouted unconsciously, Jaim reacted by flinching. But I had no time to pay attention to that.
“Even though I don’t need it, even though it’s a lie! Even though it’s an existence that’ll be tossed aside when you no longer need it! Even though it doesn’t matter if you have one or not since it’s the same thing anyway!”
At first, when this kid, Jaim appeared before me and called herself my daughter, I simply thought that she was bothersome. I was already busy with my own stuff, so I didn’t have the time to deal with her.
I tried to not pay attention to her. Family? How stupid. You don’t need something like that. You just have to live by yourself.
However, as we continued to spend our time together, I gradually became concerned.
What is she doing by herself at home?
What exactly is so good about this place that she would come here?
Do I have to ignore her? Or do I have to respond to her somehow?
Even though this kid came here with a goal anyway. Even though she had come here in order to use me so I would unite or whatever with Saeyeon. Even though that was it.
Even though she was trying to use me for her own gain.
Why am I concerned?
Even though, according to this generation’s genius scientist, Jin Jaro’s, my, theory, families aren’t necessary. Even though not having a family is the premise and the conclusion. I couldn’t understand. I don’t know. I don’t understand why I’m worried, why I’m concerned.
Additionally, the one thing I didn’t understand the most was, how exactly is this kid,
despite having had the same past as me, despite the fact that she should have sufficiently learned that she didn’t need something like a family, how.
How is she still able to have hope?
Does she still possess the hope that she’ll be able to change something if she works hard enough?
“Even though it’s impossible for me to not know something! Even now!”
I’m perfect. I’m capable of living on my own. I’m a genius. There’s nothing that I don’t know. I like science because the answer comes out right away. Only a single answer resides within a single question. Furthermore, if we use the principle of science and follow the procedure of problem posing, observation, experimentation, and result, then in order to find out the answer to the question of whether families are needed or not, you just have to look at my, the perfect genius’, experience to know that families aren’t needed.
I can do the experiment whenever I want, but the result is already out.
There is only a single answer. There should only be one. It can’t not be one.
But, but why am I still unable to get it?
There’s no way that something the great I doesn’t understand could exist.
Why, does this kid still have hope?
Why, am I jealous of families?
Why, am I so annoyed right now?
At myself.
“I-I’m·····sorry·····.”
“·····Hm?”
I raised my head in response to those words.
Because Jaim, was speaking to me.
She was apologizing.
Jaim’s voice was different from before. Although it still sounded as if she were holding back her sobbing, her tone was now boundlessly dark and cold.
“What’s wrong? What are you sorry about?”
I quickly asked back. That’s not what’s important right now. Jaim, had finally reacted to my presence here. I was happy about that.
⎯⎯⎯That's why, you 'reacting' to me properly is enough to make me happy, Dad.
I finally understood what Jaim meant when she had said that at that time.
But it wasn’t just that. That wasn’t the only thing I wanted to know.
I had to get an answer. What is it that I don’t get.
I was able to slightly open the door of her closed mind. I had to open it all the way no matter what. What’s hidden inside that closed mind and what I’m going to do after I open it, is a problem for later.
No matter what she did wrong, regardless of what it was, I’ll forgive her.
I asked her while smiling. The edges of my mouth shook.
“Because you made that plastic model without my permission? That’s fine. It would have been knocked over by time anyway, so who knows when I would have made it myself, and I could just buy another one later.”
“Because you called me an idiot? That’s fine. That’s an easy misunderstanding to have. Geniuses occasionally do stupid things as well after all.”
“Or because you abruptly traveled through time in order to be here? That’s fine. Everything is fine, all of that is okay, so tell me. What did you do wrong?”
In the end, Jaim started to shed tears as she spoke.
And in that instant, the smile that I was forcefully making on my face hardened. I felt like all of the blood in my body was rus.h.i.+ng through my blood vessels in reverse.
“I’m, sorry·····. It would, have been better if I weren’t born·····. Then, mom, and dad, wouldn’t have had, to fight·····. I’m sorry·····. I’m sorry·····. I’m sorry, for being born·····. I’m sorry·····.”
“·····You!”
I couldn’t hold back. I jumped up and walked towards Jaim. Jaim, who had been wiping her tears and continuously saying that she was sorry, was startled, but she must have been terrified of the expression on my face as she was unable to even run away.
I raised my hand. Jaim bit her lips tightly as she held her eyes shut.
While barely holding back my shaking arm, I shouted.
“Never, never say that you’re sorry for being born!”
Those words,
because those words were what I wanted to say to my parents.
Because that was what I wanted to say to my parents who wouldn’t take care of me, to tell them to take care of me, to please take care of me at least once.
Because those words were the very words I couldn’t say because of that, the words I couldn’t allow myself to say.
Because, out of all the things I could have seen, I had seen the one thing I didn’t want to see the most within her mind, I ended up seeing myself.
“H-Hiik!”
Jaim crawled on the floor because of my shout. With her hands and feet, she crawled away like a cat and opened the door before running out of the room.
I heard tumbling. She must have tripped because she was in such a hurry. She didn’t dare to open the front door, so she had run to the empty room that was the furthest away. I heard the door to my parent’s room being opened and closed before it was then locked. Starting from a whimper, I then soon heard crying.
“·····I see, so this is how it feels. When you hear those words.”
I could only laugh. I inadvertently laughed without a sound.
I didn’t say those words because I was afraid. I couldn’t.
During my birthday during my second year of middle school, I wanted to spit those words out in response to what my parents had told me over the phone.
But I was afraid.
In response to my words,
‘Yeah, it would have been better if you weren’t born.’
‘It would have been better if we didn’t have something like you.’
‘Then I would have been able to work faster.’
‘Then I would have been able to focus on my work.’
I was afraid, that I would hear these sorts of responses.
Because, that answer would mean that I had no value whatsoever.
I didn’t want that. Thus, I would tell myself this.
I’m a genius. I’m an existence that’s necessary to the world.
I’m not a needless existence.
If I didn’t tell myself this, if I didn’t endure everything on my own, then I wouldn’t have been able to survive.
And yet I had said those words to Jaim.
You’re something that I have never wanted even once in my life.
You’re a needless existence.
You’re an existence that’s worthless and better off gone.
“·····Hm?”
Jaim’s backpack that was sitting in the corner of the room came into my line of sight.
An inefficiently small and adorable bag.
Now that I think about it, every time we worked together at night, she would leave that there.
Moreover, the instant I saw that backpack, I remembered something.
I pulled the zipper open and poured the contents of the backpack onto the ground.
A notebook that you could feel the unique childishness of a little kid just by looking at the cover.
〈Happy Family Planning〉
I flipped the first page and flipped the page after that.
There were lines written here and there. Scribbles that were drawn in a childish manner. I flipped through the notebook one page at a time.
While engraving in my eyes the lines that seemed similar to wishes.
‘Watch TV as a family.’
‘Eat dinner as a family.’
‘Cook for mom and dad.’
‘Take a bath together as a family.’
‘Go on a family outing.’
“·····How childish.”
While I let out a snort and laughed, the pages became wet.
In the end, we’re merely the same human.
If you look at my belief that something like a family wasn’t necessary from another angle,
then it meant that I was just jealous.
Even these trivial things that were normally done routinely,
was something that I envied immensely.
But since I couldn’t grasp it within my hands, because I couldn’t have it,
I had turned my head away and disregarded them saying that those grapes were sour.
I finally obtained the answer of why I was so annoyed.
Because it was Jaim’s first family.
Because she had obtained the family that she had always wanted.
Because it was the family that I had hated until now and said that it was unnecessary.
Moreover, as if it were being reflected in a mirror, it was a family that was just like me.
Something I didn’t want to watch the most, something that had a part that I didn’t want to acknowledge.
I’ve come to a realization. I’m not a genius.
I didn’t discover the truth of the world nor do I know something that’s capable of treating others as untaught ma.s.ses. I’m not an existence that’s absolutely necessary to the world either.
Those are merely things that I wanted to hear from someone that’s not myself.
That you’re needed. That you’re precious.
I didn’t know anything. Really, I knew nothing.
“·····All right.”
But that was a mistake.
I couldn’t accept this answer.
“Things are blackening(The Final Mode).”
ÅÅÅ
In the morning. Uppercla.s.sman Nabom, who had come outside after being contacted by me, looked more tired than usual. Her eyes weren’t half-open but a quarter-open right now.
“·····What is it, Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro? During this early morning.”
I spoke bluntly towards Uppercla.s.sman Nabom who was looking at her watch and talking in an evidently annoyed tone.
“I forgot about one thing.”
“What is it? I’m tired beyond belief because you had complicated matters immensely yesterday, Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro.”
So this person becomes like this if she’s tired. If her normal behavior was to act courteous, then right now, she sounded sincerely annoyed. Without even covering her mouth, Uppercla.s.sman Nabom let out a big yawn and rubbed her eyes.
“Seriously, I definitely told you to coordinate your story properly, but till the very end, you wound up dealing with things like that. My head hurts for several different reasons thanks to you. I have to deal with the government authority here and the timing to take the kid back to the future has now become vague.”
“That doesn’t concern me.”
“·····You talk well despite being the very person who made me go through all of this hards.h.i.+p in the first place.”
Wow, that’s a bit scary. Her murderous intent right now wasn’t a joke because her eyes were only a quarter-open. Nevertheless, I spoke imposingly.
“Uppercla.s.sman Nabom, you definitely promised me before, right? That if I guide you through modern society, then ‘you’d give me something that I’d need in the future’.”
“Do you mean the DLC content·····? You’re really amazing, Undercla.s.sman Jin Jaro.”
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom looked annoyed.
“You’re aiming for your own personal gain even in this situation, huh·····. Well, sure, you always have. All right. I’ll give you something, then. However, it won’t be a time machine or something from the future, but·····.”
“No. I’ll pick what I want.”
Because of my stern answer, Uppercla.s.sman Nabom’s eyes opened a bit wider. They were now half-open.
“·····Well, okay then. This is the end anyway, and since I was able to finish my task within a month thanks to you, I can offer you a certain amount of service. Although I do have some resentment since you made me go through a lot of trouble throughout the entire night and called me here even though the sun isn’t up yet, a promise is a promise.”
After letting out a long sigh, Uppercla.s.sman Nabom asked.
“So, what is it that you want? Should I tell you the superordinate concepts of the cell phones that’ll be all the rage in the future? If you’ll be satisfied with that, then·····.”
“I don’t need something like that.”
I looked straight at Uppercla.s.sman Nabom, who was going through her pockets, and told her what I needed the most in my future.
“⎯⎯⎯Give me my daughter.”
“·····Are you going make bad jokes even in a situation like this? I did say before that the only thing I could offer you was my body, but·····.”
“I’m not talking about that! Read the context, the context!”
d.a.m.n it, she’s going to release the valve because of that nonsense. Now that I think about it, there’s no reason to speak formally to her now. She’s someone who’s trying to take my daughter away. She’s an enemy,
“I want Jaim. Help me.”
And if need be, you have to ally with your enemy. I’m the genius scientist of this age, a mad scientist, so I’m not as narrow-minded as those foolish untaught ma.s.ses.
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom blinked. She must have been bewildered since I had abruptly spoken to her informally and she couldn’t understand what my intentions were.
“·····Why, did you change your mind all of a sudden?”
While gazing at Uppercla.s.sman Nabom who had asked that while tilting her head, I answered.
“Yesterday, Jaim had said this to me. She said that she was sorry for having been born, that she was sorry for being here.”
“·····So?”
I unconsciously clenched my fists. I had no other choice but to grit my teeth as hard as I possibly could in order to calm my trembling jaw.
“At the very least, those words are the very words that a child should never say to their parents. Parents must never hear those words from their child. If, if by the slightest chance, they hear those words·····. If they make their child think that·····.”
As if I were struggling to spit a black lump out from my chest, I was barely able to force my mouth to continue.
“Then that child, and those parents, are the worst. They’re pieces of garbage.”
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom simply looked at me with wide eyes.
“If you’re from the future, then you can do something like information fabrication, right? In the first place, you should have had to make a family register or something in order to admit yourself to our school. If that’s the case, then can’t you make something like a family register for Jaim as well?”
“·····Well, of course it’s possible, but.”
Uppercla.s.sman Nabom snorted at my words and spoke.
“Why should I help you?”
With a mocking smile on her face, Uppercla.s.sman Nabom looked at me as if I were pathetic.
“A promise like that that doesn’t have