Don’t Tell Me This Is the True History of the Three Kingdoms! Vol 9 Chapter 120

Liu Bei POV

“Even though I was given the chance to lead the troops, not only did I not gain an advantage for us, we even suffered heavy losses. What a truly sorry performance for a commanding officer. *Pa*!” Feng Xian said calmly but since she hit the water again, she must be feeling very bitter inside.

I wanted to say something but before I could, Feng Xian spoke up again in a louder tone, “In the end, I’m just a warrior who knows nothing but fighting. What right does someone like me have to say that I hate battles!”

Feng Xian… I really did not know what I should say and merely sat there and listened quietly. We have been through a fair number of battles now and I know full well that saying things like ‘you win some, you lose some’ are merely words used to console the losers. At some point, losing will mean total defeat and no amount of consolation will be of use then.

Feng Xian really does not like battles but when she has to do it, she hopes to do the best she can. She also undoubtedly has confidence in her abilities but being defeated in this skirmish must have dealt quite the blow to her pride. At the very least, I could not feel the domineering and a.s.sured aura that Feng Xian usually projected. Instead, I could feel something more akin to regret and responsibility.

What can the me of now, under such dire circ.u.mstances, the me who stand beside everyone, do?

…

I guess what I can do is a lot simpler than I ever imagined.

As I came to a decision, I got up, made my way to the entrance and took a deep breath before saying slowly, “Wen Yuan, you’re both here huh?”

I decided to begin the solo play with this opening. When I finished, I could hear some splas.h.i.+ng sounds from behind the curtain. It seems like Feng Xian is a little frantic after hearing my voice. Good thing I did not risk it and reply immediately.

“Wen Yuan, Lord Huang Zu is looking for you.”

“Un~” After I finished, I replied with a simple grunt in a falsetto and took a few steps that gradually became lighter to make it seem like Wen Yuan was leaving.

“Ahem.” I cleared my throat and slowly made my way into the tent. With every step I took, I could feel my heart racing ever faster.

“… Xuan De? You’re here?” Feng Xian asked from behind the curtain.

“Ah, I just did.” I had to make sure I did not break into peals of laughter when I replied and even nodded along. Even if Feng Xian could not see this, it helped me believe my own lie, “Un? Feng Xian, you’re…”

“Ahhh…” Feng Xian said as splas.h.i.+ng sounds could be heard again, “I’m b-bathing over here.”

“Ohh, alright, I’ll just sit down here then.” I said and made my way to the furthest stool and sat down, feeling very guilty at what I was doing. I still had 2 cloths that I was using just now to wipe my face. When I saw these, I hurriedly tossed them onto the table where the other cloths were.

“W-why did Xuan De come to the encampment?” Feng Xian continued to ask. I do not know if it is out of nervousness but it seems like she’s speaking faster than usual and in a more delicate voice. Of course, this is just my own opinion and it could be a misconception from my swirling emotions right now

“I came here to check on you both.” I replied honestly, “You both just finished the battle after all and I thought I’d come to say a few words with you both.”

…

Feng Xian did not reply to this. Which is more or less what I expected as it was clear fr
om what she said before that she was rather depressed about how the battle had went. At the same time, I a, specially acting out this bad play for the sake of speaking to her about this.

“Xuan De… I–”

“Feng Xian, I think you did very well in this battle.” I interrupted her and told her what I wanted to tell her first just as she was about to speak.

“Eh? … Did very well?” She asked, seeming rather puzzled as she was probably convinced that she had done badly.

“Yes,” I said as I nodded, “If it weren’t for Feng Xian, our losses would be far greater.”

“Eh? But… If I hadn’t led the charge too far and got too engrossed in engaging with the enemy generals, the enemy would not have been able to flank and surround us.”

“It’s not just you. Wen Yuan too is responsible for this.” I said and got up.

“No, Wen Yuan isn’t to be blamed for this. Not only was she fighting, she was also commanding the troops and was overwhelmed.” Feng Xian said calmly, seeming rather gloomy as she said so. My guess is that she’s going to say what she just did before.

“Compared to Wen Yuan… I’m just a simple warrior–”

“And so what if you are?” I quickly interrupted her. Looks like my guess was on the mark.

“But then I…”

“Is there a problem if a simple warrior hates wars?” Naturally, I knew what she was about to say next and interrupted her with a louder tone. But just as I spoke, I felt that I might have spoken a little too loudly and quickly returned to my normal volume.

“Hu…” I breathed out to calm myself down. I need to be calm in order to be able to comfort her after all, “Feng Xian, do you think that if you’re just a simple warrior, will someone like Wen Yuan still follow you?”

“…” Feng Xian remained silent as she clearly did not know the answer to this. Of course, I cannot even answer this question if it was posed to me. I do not even know why my own retainers are following me after all. But as an outsider to this, I can see things that the actors are unable to.

“I think that it’s because you are a warrior.” I said as I approached her so that she could feel what I was trying to convey more keenly, “Wen Yuan probably uses you as a benchmark or a target for her own path as a warrior.”

At this point, all that separated us was just the curtain, “At the very least, you are the strongest warrior I’ve known. It’s the first time that I’ve heard of the commanding officer overturning a losing battle singlehandedly in such a short span of time.”

Even though this is not Dynasty Warriors, Lu Bu is still Lu Bu.

Feng Xian should know that I am very close now from my footsteps but she did not say anything at all. Perhaps she’s preoccupied with her thoughts. And so, I waited patiently while doing my best to forget what I saw and the soft touch I felt.

“… Xuan De.” Feng Xian finally spoke up after about 30 seconds and called out to me.

“Un.”

“Xuan De, I’ve decided.”

“Decided on what?”

“I hope that Xuan De can deploy me to every battle from now on. I will do my best in every battle.”

“Don’t push yourself too hard.”

“I know. I just hope to be able to use my martial prowess to help Xuan De.” Feng Xian said as she made some splashes. Looks like she’s rather agitated.

I thought about it for a moment and decided to reply without giving an unambiguous approval, “It’s good to be motivated but I would still like Feng Xian to continue being the Feng Xian she is now. In the battles to come, I will deploy you when I need to.”

“… I understand.” Feng Xian replied and nodded, “I just hope that Xuan De does not mind that I hate wars and does not use me because of that.”

“I know about that of course and it’s not a problem as there is no conflict between them.” I smiled and decided to tell her something I always wanted to, “Besides, I think that this world needs more warriors who hate wars.”

“… Is that so? Thanks.”

What’s there to thank me for?

“Alright,” I was done for now and I believe I have overstayed my welcome here, “I’ll be leaving then.” I said and turned to leave.

“Ah, Xuan De.” Before I had even taken 5 steps, Feng Xian called out to me.

“Un?” I turned and saw Feng Xian poke her head from around the curtain as she looked at me.

Eh… T-this is…

“… What is it?” I asked as I nervously gulped, unsure what I ought to do.

“Xuan De…” Feng Xian said as she shyly covered her face with the curtain, “Umm… Can you help pa.s.s me my clothes over there… I’m almost done.”

Eh? I was about to tell her to do it herself since there would be no one in the tent but then I realised that it would not be very appropriate for her to come out naked. And who knows when Wen Yuan would come back? Besides, Feng Xian would not have asked me to do this for her if she did not think there was a better alternative.

“Alright… Where are they?” I asked while calming down my emotions.

“U-under the hot water pail.”

Eh? Here? I never thought that Feng Xian would know how to do such things and make life more comfortable by warming her clothes like this.

“Alright, I’ll get it.” I said as I quickly walked over, picked up the pail, took the clothes and quickly made my way back. Halfway through, I remembered something and returned to the table where I picked up some dry cloths and handed everything to Feng Xian.