The Century Handbook of Writing Part 12

=Squinting Modifier=

=26. Avoid the squinting construction. That is, do not place between two parts of a sentence a modifier that may attach itself to either. Place the modifier where it cannot be misunderstood.=

Confusing: I told him when the time came I would do it. [_When the time came_ is said to "squint" because the reader cannot tell whether it looks forward to the end of the sentence, or backward to the beginning.]

Right: When the time came, I told him I would do it. [Or] I told him I would do it when the time came.

Confusing: Some friends I knew would enjoy the play. [_I knew_ squints.]

Right: Some friends would enjoy the play, I knew.

Confusing: The orator whom every one was calling for enthusiastically hurried to the platform. [_Enthusiastically_ squints.]

Clear: The orator whom every one was enthusiastically calling for hurried to the platform.

Exercise:

1. The man who laughs half the time does not understand the joke.

2. Playing football in many ways improves the mind.

3. When she reached home much to her disgust the door was locked.

4. When the lightning struck for the first time in my life I was afraid.

5. The landlord wrote that he would if the rent were not paid in thirty days eject the tenant.

=Misplaced Word=

=27. Such an adverb as _only_, _ever_, _almost_, should be placed near the word it modifies, and separated from words which it might falsely seem to modify. Such a conjunction as _nevertheless_, if required with a clause, should usually be placed near the beginning.=

Illogical: I only need a few dollars.

Right: I need only a few dollars.

Illogical: I don't ever intend to go there again.

Right: I don't intend ever to go there again. [Or] I intend never to go there again.

Illogical: She has the sweetest voice I nearly ever heard.

Right: She has nearly [or _almost_] the sweetest voice I ever heard.

Tardy use of conjunction: I intend to try. I do not expect to accomplish much, however.

Right: I intend to try. I do not, however, expect to accomplish much.

Exercise:

1. Students are only admitted to one lecture.

2. This is the smallest book I almost ever saw.

3. He is so poor he hasn't any food, scarcely.

4. She had one dress that she never expected to wear.

5. The difficulties were tremendous. He said that he would do his best, nevertheless.

=Split Construction=

=28. Elements that have a close grammatical connection should not be separated awkwardly or carelessly. These elements are: (a) subject and verb, or verb and object; (b) the parts of a compound verb; and (c) the parts of an infinitive.=

Awkward: One in the struggle for efficiency should not become a machine.

Better: In the struggle for efficiency one should not become a machine.

Awkward: What use of an education could a girl who married a penniless rogue and afterwards knew nothing but hard labor, make?

Better: What use of an education could a girl make who married a penniless rogue and afterward knew nothing but hard labor?

Crude: He was unable to even so much as stir a foot.

Better: He was unable even to stir a foot.

Note.--It is often desirable to separate the forms enumerated under (a) and (b) above, either for emphasis (See 40) or to avoid a bunching of modifiers at the end of a sentence (See 24). The whole point of rule 28 is not to depart from a natural order needlessly.

Exercise:

1. One thing the beginner must remember is to not get excited.

2. Ralph, when he heard the news, came flying out of the house.

3. The president called together, for the need was urgent, his cabinet.

4. Bryce said that it is more patriotic to judiciously vote than to frantically wave the American flag.

5. About the time Florence Nightingale had to give up her plans, a war between Turkey, England, and France on one side and Russia on the other, broke out.

=29.= EXERCISE IN CLEARNESS OF THOUGHT

=A. Reference of p.r.o.nouns=

In the following sentences make the reference of p.r.o.nouns exact and unmistakable.