Never Thought You'd Be This Kind Of Hero! Chapter 37

–Ahhh, b.a.s.t.a.r.ds, what are you doing, ahhhhh!"

–"Ga, ga, ga!"

As the dignified third elder of the Bright G.o.d Church had exhausted his magic and he was terribly fatigued, the sight of him being chased around by a group of battle geese was quite pitiful.

The third elder had never seen live poultry such as geese before. He had only ever eaten goose meat and foie gras. He had seen swans before; those animals were the representations of elegance and purity. The pope had raised quite a few of them in the back garden. All of the elders in the Elder's society1 were all dissatisfied with this as usual. After all, they were spending quite a bit of time and energy to raise some swans that had no worth other than looking pretty. They believed the entire situation to be utterly stupid. 

However, now, the views of the third elder had changed.

His rear was in a lot of pain! Heavens! This group of b.a.s.t.a.r.d geese were even slapping his thighs with their wings! Because he had used up too much of his magic while retreating, he now had no room to fight back! Ahhh, my b.u.t.t cheeks!

City Lord Dika felt sympathetic towards the entire situation, "This adult man's battle prowess is only comparable to that of half a goose. Why can't some people think things through?"

"Puu–!" The third elder spewed out a mouthful of old blood before pa.s.sing out. 

The ice lord, who was watching from afar, once again nodded his head, recognizing the power of these creatures known as battle geese. 

The ice lord, serious and steady in his habits, thought, I must definitely raise some! 

As for the work needed to raise and breed them… let's leave that for the abyss lord to figure out.

"Achoo–!" The abyss lord sneezed loudly once more. Someone was definitely cussing him behind his back!

The poor third elder slowly woke up and discovered that he was lying on a hard bed that was neither gorgeous nor comfortable. Two people stood beside him; one of them was a middle-aged man who flatteringly spoke, "Respected elder, before it was because we did not recognize you2 that we allowed those geese to injure your honorable behind. Surely someone of such great renown such as yourself will forgive this lowly one!"

The third elder simply felt extremely confused. He couldn't remember why he would appear in such a place. However, when he heard the word, "geese," he subconsciously trembled all over. The fear he felt was one even greater than that of hearing Demon King Rozenke's name. 

Geese…

Right, geese! His b.u.t.t suddenly hurt faintly. A group of rogue-like geese had attacked him without warning and the surrounding people had simply looked on! Did they not know who he was! He was the Bright G.o.d Church's third elder!

He gritted his teeth, "That flock of geese… let's not talk about the geese for now, child. Can you give a message to your city lord?"

The person before him suddenly bowed deeply. "Merciful elder! You actually forgave that flock of evil geese! His Majesty the Bright G.o.d will definitely be happy about your actions. I am the city lord of Wilderness City. May I ask you what is the matter?"

The third elder thought, when did I forgive that flock of geese? However, with the other constantly calling him merciful and mentioning His Majesty the Bright G.o.d, the other had plugged his mouth, rendering Third Elder unable to refute their words. If he said that he was unwilling to forgive these evil geese, wouldn't he appear merciless!

The third elder thought of a lot of things. For example, words such as "you're ruthless" and "you're unreasonable" were all said by the spokespeople of the Bright G.o.d Church in the past. Therefore, now that someone was plugging his mouth, he could only say nothing.

How amazing it felt to beat others with the big stick called morality and how aggrieving it was to be on the receiving end. 

However, the geese were not the most important matter… although those detestable animals really made one want to confront them. The third elder took a deep breath, his heart thinking of mercy and how he would definitely not bear a grudge against those animals. He finally had a chance to inquire about the question he had constantly been wanting to ask, "…Did a brave named Xu Jun come to this city?"

The Wilderness City's Lord Dika quickly nodded his head. "There was a warrior named Xu Jun who had arrived at Wilderness City two days. However, I'm not sure if he was a brave… why are you looking for him?”

The third elder let out a long breath. He felt as if his heart had finally been forced back down into his stomach, so, his att.i.tude became firm and reserved. "Bring him to see me, sir city lord, there is a matter I must see him for."

Sir Dika's next words were, "However, he left this morning, great elder, and he has already been gone for… half a day."

Third Elder: "…"

City Lord Dika left to call the maids to serve the elder of the Bright G.o.d Church some dinner. After walking out of the door, his expression changed from the serious, focused, and perhaps even a bit charming city lord into an experienced, sly fox of a middle-aged man, "Bah, constantly changing tunes, what do you think you are! –You even dare have thoughts towards Your Father's geese!"

The guards on both sides of the door looked down, pretending to have heard nothing.

Ice Lord Weize stood in the shadows. He was already within the Wilderness City, and was even ostentatiously standing in the center of the city lord's manor. However, the soldiers who were coming and going were unable to see him. Even when people walked right beside him, they subconsciously avoided him– they themselves weren't even aware of what they were avoiding.

"It suddenly got cold." A soldier said, rubbing his hands together and s.h.i.+vering.  

His senior officer also wanted to s.h.i.+ver, but performing such an action before his subordinates didn't seem very proper. Therefore, he feigned an elderly tone and said, "Young people these days are really in poor shape."

The ice lord was currently listening to the conversation between the third elder and the city lord of Wilderness City.

Intuition told him that the third elder knew more than those two knights. He didn't want to barge into a human city with great fanfare–if the ice lord suddenly appeared in Wilderness City, the humans and Beastmen of the Northern Alliance would come to learn that only the abyss lord was in the north. At that point, the Demons would face more pressure on the northern battlefield. 

When the third elder said "Xu Jun" and "Brave" he felt that the 'corpse' of His Majesty the Demon King contained within his storage s.p.a.ce3 seemed to tremble.

This wasn't some fake corpse. The truth was that the His Majesty the Demon King's body had not completely lost its vitality. The demon king could never truly die. Even if he was completely dissolved by the holy light element, the dark elements and haze that existed within the world would gradually gather and the darkness would once again call forth the demon king.

Just like how the world shall always contain volcanoes and magma, so too could the flame lord never become truly dormant. They were vastly different from ordinary beings of intelligence. Some say that these were the embodiments of the nature of G.o.ds and Demons. 

This last surviving thread of His Majesty the Demon King's consciousness would not react to some ordinary human or brave. The reason why he would be affected by the name of Xu Jun is probably because–it was this person named Xu Jun who had 'killed' him.

City Lord Dika was currently eating dinner with his family. His captain of the Personal Guard, Allen, was also invited to eat with him. At the table, they talked about sir Xu Jun, the great hero of Wilderness City. Now, they could also call him Brave Xu Jun. City Lord Dika quietly said, "That elder is definitely hiding something. When he mentioned Xu Jun, he had a strange expression."

Personal Guard Captain Allen nodded his head. "But Xu Jun is not in Wilderness City. In the short term, this elder won't be able to do anything…he seemed to have been heading for the Holy Light Elves right?"

City Lord Dika nodded his head, "I heard that he had acquaintances there."

A human having acquaintances amongst the Elves… and it was even the particularly arrogant Holy Light Elves? Why did it sound so unreal? _(:зゝ∠)_

Ice Lord Weize picked out the keywords: Holy Light Elves.

His Majesty the Demon King's soul did appear to be moving in the direction of the Holy Light Elves' Dreamland. The ice lord thought for a bit and decided that, for now, he would disregard that third elder, whose courage had already shattered from fear. A side character such as him was unworthy of his attention. 

The poor third elder, however, didn't know that he was already in the clear and was still constantly worried about being killed at any moment. He stayed in the Wilderness City for a few days, unable to sleep or eat well. When he finally decided to return to the Bright G.o.d Church's Holy City, he was as thin as a board. He no longer wore the same high-spirited and smug look of when he had first arrived.

What was His Majesty the Demon King doing right now? The ice lord frowned. If he carelessly followed after him, would he ruin His Majesty's plan? Also, how did that brave named Xu Jun manage to defeat His Majesty? Everything was a mystery. 

His Majesty the Demon King…what thoughts does he have about the brave who had defeated him?

…

Xu Jun caught a cold.

It was extremely hard for those of the warrior profession to get sick. After all, they were in much better shape than ordinary people. Usually, they would be poisoned in battle instead. Furthermore, Xu Jun rarely fell ill back in the real world. His original world's technology was highly developed and the average life expectancy was already over a hundred years. Apart from some difficult and complicated hereditary diseases, there was almost nothing that couldn't be treated. Xu Jun had lived until his twenties and even then, had only ever suffered a few fevers and sore throats when he was a child. After those, he had never fallen sick ever again. 

For someone who never falls sick, falling sick was extremely tortuous.

For the past two days, he kept feeling recurring chills. It was a chill that originated from his soul and could be felt within his bones. After he let out a few ma.s.sive sneezes, he began to cough and have a runny nose. Daeniste healed him with a Holy Light spell, but it was no use; Xu Jun himself had taken a lot of medicine, but it was also no use.

"Achoo! Achoo! A–choo!” Xu Jun rode on Mantou, his sneeze causing him to lean precariously from side to side. Snot was running down, so he took out a handkerchief and furiously blew his nose. The tip of his nose was already completely red from wiping and his eyes were moist. He looked extremely pitiful. 

"It feels like my body's been hollowed out _(:зゝ∠)_” Xu Jun cried in his heart. "Why did I suddenly catch a cold! QAQ Who has Banlangen4, give me a dozen…"

Demon King Rozenke was probably the only one who knew why Xu Jun had a cold–after being probed by the ice lord that many times, it could already be considered good luck for a normal human to only fall sick.

However, it wasn't something that he could mention.

"It's because you keep kicking off your covers at night, " His Majesty the Demon King spouted an outright lie, "You're already so old yet you still kick the covers. Xu Jun, I'm disappointed in you."

Ah, perhaps it was thanks to a certain brave that the demon king felt he was getting better and better at lying.

Translator's Niche

[1] I think this is just the Elder's Circle and that it's just an inconsistency, but just in case, I'll leave it like this for now.⏎

[2] He's using the respectful/formal form of you in chinese, 您 (nin), rather than the usual 你(ni).⏎

[3] If you've read a lot of chinese novels, you've probably come across this before. A storage s.p.a.ce is basically a separate dimension that one can use to store a lot of things while taking up barely any s.p.a.ce in the real world/dimension, if any at all. The dimensions could be accessed via a ring or some other item. Xu Jun also has one, which is his bag, that he uses to store stuff as well (courtesy of Gale dad).⏎

[4] Banlangen is a type of chinese herbal medicine that's used a lot to treat the common cold and stuff. It comes from the root of a flowering plant called a woad. More info here: ⏎