An Inconvenient Trilogy Part 6

Michael nodded with the slightest movement of his head. He did not want to break the spell and at that moment he could not. She was too close, too loving, too sweet and caring for him to resist.

Elizabeth traced her fingers along the bruise. It looked better than it had when he had first entered. He had obviously not taken the full force of the blow. Her brave man, she thought to herself with a slight smile.

"What?" Michael asked, frowning at the smile.

"I was just thinking how brave you are. No one has ever defended me the way you have," Elizabeth replied letting her fingers trace down the outside of his jaw.

Michael took a sharp intake of breath that resulted in Elizabeth's fingers moving to his lips. "It is my duty to protect you." he said quietly and kissed her fingers gently.

Elizabeth stilled at his words and Michael saw the moment she withdrew from him. Later he wondered how far things would have gone if he had not uttered those words, but once they were out it was too late. Again he had pushed her away.

"Right, I think that is better," Elizabeth said without looking at Michael. She stood and collected a cus.h.i.+on from another chair. "Raise your arm for a while. I will ring for tea."

"Elizabeth...." Michael started.

"Don't," Elizabeth interrupted. "You have been perfectly clear on more than one occasion; it is my foolishness that keeps me trying to be something that I am not."

"You are not foolish." Michael a.s.sured her. He knew d.a.m.n well who was and it was not Elizabeth.

Lord Halkyn sent a message round to say that unfortunately family business had forced him to leave London unexpectedly. He expressed sorrow that he would not be able to accompany Elizabeth on her morning rides. He finished the letter with his hope to see her again in the not too distant future. Elizabeth received the letter with some relief and curiosity; she wondered how his face looked after his visit from Michael. If only her guardian had been acting as the jealous lover, she thought ruefully to herself, her happiness would have been complete.

She tried to push feelings of rejection to one side as she continued with life in London. She had thought she was convincing everyone that she was happy with her lifestyle, until Violet sat her down one day and asked her what was making her so unhappy.

"I don't know what you mean." Elizabeth said hesitantly.

"I think you do." Violet responded gently.

Elizabeth sighed, she hated the falseness of society, so she was not about to start being anything but honest with Violet. "I am tiring of London. No, I am tired of London!" She said with feeling.

Violet smiled, "It is hard when you are single and trying to seek out someone decent in the throng of people in town."

"But that's the problem," Elizabeth said. "I'm not trying to seek anyone out. Whenever I've tried to show affection I've been rebuffed and it wouldn't have come to anything anyway. I'm realistic enough to know that things aren't going to work out the way I would have liked. Apart from that I don't like being so confined. I want to be out watching things grow, planning my future. I just feel that I am being stifled here, which makes me sound like the most ungrateful house guest you will ever encounter." Elizabeth finished with a smile. She could not fall into a maudlin fit over something that was beyond her power to change, but she was becoming more determined to take the control of her life back into her own hands.

Violet laughed, "I don't think that and never would. I like life in the City so I don't really understand all your feelings, but you have been consistent from the start in your dislike."

"I think it is time to leave." Elizabeth said quietly, feeling that it really was time to admit that this was not the life for her. Perhaps if she was not constantly reminded of Michael she would be able to enjoy life a little more.

"Are you missing Lord Halkyn?" Violet enquired.

"No! Not at all!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "Why on earth would you think I was missing Lord Halkyn?"

"You mentioned trying to show affection and being rebuffed, I just thought....." Violet said trailing off. She knew full well that Elizabeth did not mean Lord Halkyn, but wanted to give her the opportunity of confiding in her.

Elizabeth smiled wistfully, "No, I was foolish enough to think that there was one man who could tempt me to give up my independent plans. I would have happily settled down, giving him as many children as his heart's desire would wish for, but my feelings weren't reciprocated."

"Well I am very sorry about that. All I can say is that if he has any sense he will realise what a mistake he is making and act before you disappear off to the country." Violet said with feeling.

Elizabeth smiled sadly. "I don't think there is the slightest chance of that happening."

"Well he is a fool!" Violet harrumphed, knowing that for the first time in her life, she truly believed that her brother was.

Michael had not responded well when Elizabeth had asked to leave. He refused to acknowledge that it was mainly to do with the thought of losing her. "We agreed that you would stay for the Season." he said belligerently when Elizabeth finally got the opportunity to raise her request with him.

"I have given the Season as much of my time as I would wish," Elizabeth responded calmly, but coolly. She had tried to keep some distance between them since his rejection when she was tending to his wounds.

"The estate isn't ready yet." Michael floundered. He could say that he forebade her leaving, but the reality was he had no real reason to stop her. Everything she had said had been reasoned and well argued. She was not suited to town life. She had tried to comply with his initial wishes and was realistic enough to draw a line under an experience that had been mixed as far as enjoyment went.

Elizabeth laughed for the first time during their conversation. "It will not be ready for years, my Lord. I am happy to work in whatever hards.h.i.+p is required until the estate starts to earn a little money."

"I think we need to speak to Charles. He is at my estate and only due back next week, but you can speak to him as soon as he arrives," Michael said. What he wanted to say was that the thought of her leaving him left him feeling so bereft that he did not know how he was to recover. That the distance between Yorks.h.i.+re and Somerset was too far and he needed her by his side forever, but he could not. She was his ward and he had a duty towards her, but above all that he would not subject her to his family afflictions.

Elizabeth could have screamed at having to wait a week to speak to Charles. It would mean even longer before she could set off to what she was rapidly considering as home, but she gritted her teeth and smiled. "Thank you my Lord, that would be appreciated."

"When did we become so formal, Elizabeth?" Michael asked, since she usually used his given name when they were not in a public event.

"I think when I heard for the hundredth time that I was one of your duties. It finally has sunk in that although I had wished that at least we could be friends, to you I will never be more than an inconvenience, a mistake in a will. I sincerely appreciate everything you have done, but I think it appropriate I give you the respect of your rank. I am not completely ignorant when it comes to Society's ways," Elizabeth finished a little tartly.

Michael closed his eyes. A friend was the definitely the last thing he wanted to be with Elizabeth. This prim Miss before him though, made him want to shake her, or hold her, he was not sure which. "You have never been an inconvenience. The situation was initially, but I have enjoyed meeting you and we are friends, Elizabeth."

"Thank you, your words as usual do you credit. Please excuse me, I have arranged a ride through the park this morning." Elizabeth said rising.

"Elizabeth..." Michael started.

"Yes?" She responded with a sigh of impatience.

"Enjoy your outing." he said, before bowing and leaving her to stomp her foot in frustration.

Chapter 8.

Elizabeth met Lord Halkyn during the week that she waited for Charles's return. She was attending a card party when he approached her. She felt her cheeks flush as he approached, but he smiled and bowed as if nothing untoward had happened.

"Miss Rufford, it is a delight to see you." he said with a smile.

"Lord Halkyn," she responded with a curtsey.

"Would you do me the honour of riding out with me tomorrow? I feel I have some serious apologising to do."

Elizabeth smiled at the expression on his face. He was trying to look contrite, but looked anything but. "A drive would be very pleasant thank you."

"I am grateful you have agreed, as I didn't want to beg in front of everyone." he grinned at her.

Elizabeth was a little apprehensive about being private with Lord Halkyn, even though it was going to be in an open phaeton. She was collected at the appropriate hour and they set out through the park. A few moments pa.s.sed before Lord Halkyn started to speak.

"I am sorry that I put you in such a position when we last met. It was fortunate that Mr Dawson intervened." he said.

"Is this remorse as a result of my guardian's visit?" Elizabeth asked cynically.

Lord Halkyn laughed loudly. "No! The day I need Dunham to show me the error of my ways I will leave the country. It was right and proper what he did. He could have gone farther and forced a duel on me, but thankfully he is a man of sense and vented his spleen in a way that was satisfactory to us both."

"But duels are illegal!" Elizabeth exclaimed, shocked.

Lord Halkyn laughed. "Yes, they are, but they still take place, my dear. Those who are determined to fight, can avoid the magistrate, if they have loyal friends. Dunham was sensible and sorted out the matter to both our satisfaction."

"You mean in inflicting no long lasting damage to your face?" Elizabeth asked with a smile.

"Exactly!" came the chuckled response. "Some ladies do seem to appreciate gazing on my face."

"I'm sure they do," came the arch response.

"Come, come, Miss Rufford don't deflate my ego, I was hoping you were one of the ladies who admired my looks." the Lord probed good naturedly.

Elizabeth smiled, "You are a handsome man, of which you are well aware. You don't need my flattery to rea.s.sure you of that."

"Yes, but it is always nice to hear your brutal honesty on all subjects. I am rea.s.sured that you would never lie to me." Lord Halkyn responded.

"I would always try to be honest." Elizabeth said.

"I was foolish that night. You are an innocent in the ways of the world, and my feelings about marriage are more forceful and cynical than the views of most of the people who may try to flatter you into a similar situation."

"I would hope that I could see through most flattery." Elizabeth a.s.sured him.

"I think you could. You have opened my eyes to what I could have in marriage," Lord Halkyn said, slowing the phaeton. "I know you wish to develop your estate in Yorks.h.i.+re, but I want you to seriously consider a marriage with me."

Elizabeth was taken aback by such a direct proposal. She had expected an apology, but had not for one moment thought that he would again propose marriage to her. She took a moment to gather her thoughts, but one question was at the forefront of her mind. "Have you spoken to Lord Dunham about this?"

"No, not yet," Halkyn replied. "I've had a feeling that somehow he would not be receptive to a proposal and I wanted to see what your view was first. I realise this is going against etiquette, but I fear he has been more vigorous in his refusals to others than he should have been."

"Do you think he would refuse to give his approval because of the fight you had?" Elizabeth asked.

"No, that is done and dusted, but he doesn't seem keen to see you married off. I wasn't sure if that was because of your viewpoint or his own."

Elizabeth's heart fluttered for a moment with fleeting hope before reality sank in. "I have been quite strong in my opinion about not looking for a husband. Lord Dunham is too honourable to be anything but supportive of my views and wishes." she responded truthfully, but at the same time keen to defend her guardian.

"That makes more sense, I would never describe Dunham as someone who acted in an underhanded manner." Lord Halkyn responded.

"Your offer is kind, but I...." Elizabeth started, but was interrupted by Lord Halkyn.

"Now wait until you have heard what I have to say before you refuse me," he said with a smile. "I won't lie to you and say I have fallen madly in love with you; you know my opinion of love too well to know that anything I said of that nature, would be a falsehood."

Elizabeth smiled despite herself. "I want you to be honest, my Lord, even if I might not like what you say."

"I will be. I cannot offer you love, yet. I have never met anyone like you Miss Rufford,- Elizabeth. I want to spend some time getting to know you better. I have always been cynical about marriage, but even on the first night of meeting you, I thought that you were the only woman I would consider being my wife."

"I am flattered," Elizabeth said with a blush. She was fully aware of the honour of receiving a marriage proposal from the eligible Lord Halkyn. If she agreed, she would be the envy of every single woman of the season.

"You should be," came the smiling response. "I am offering you marriage on mostly your terms. I will try and accommodate your needs to spend time in the country on your estate, and mine for that matter. I expect you can only improve my property. I will always be affectionate and fond of you, and neither of us can know if love will develop through a lasting relations.h.i.+p."

"Will you be faithful?" Elizabeth asked, remembering what he had hinted at previously.

"I can only promise you to try," came the candid response. "I can offer you security, affection, regard, my t.i.tle, money and the promise that I will do everything in my power to make your life comfortable and happy."

"It is a tempting proposal. I know I should do as most other women would do and fall at your feet with grat.i.tude, but I need time to think things through. As you've said, it would not be the marriage I was expecting to have, if I decided that marriage was for me. At the start of my visit, I had not antic.i.p.ated anything other than living in Yorks.h.i.+re, so a serious marriage proposal was never something I had thought about. I need time to consider, so I am afraid I will postpone falling at your feet for the moment," Elizabeth responded after a few moments.

Lord Halkyn smiled and squeezed her hand. "I am making this proposal precisely because you are not like the other women of my acquaintance. Of course you can have some time."

"I am hoping to go away next week to Yorks.h.i.+re for a little while. Is it too much to ask you to wait until I return?" Elizabeth asked tentatively.

"It is a little longer than I was hoping for, but if you agree to my proposal, we shall have all the time in the world to make up for a few weeks lost at the beginning."

Elizabeth smiled her thanks and they continued the ride, quieter than at the start. Elizabeth had a lot to think about.

Over the next few days Elizabeth thought of nothing but how she wanted her life to be, how it could and could not be and what were her real options. A proposal from Lord Halkyn was something she should consider. She told herself a hundred times that she should accept his offer without a single doubt. She would be secure and settled for the rest of her life. She would not have to rely on the employment of companions to maintain respectability and she would have a husband who would at least try to support her need to work.

Everything made sense for her to say yes, but she did not love him, and he did not love her. He did not have dark hair and deep chocolate eyes. He did not seek her out in a ballroom, or look at her with amus.e.m.e.nt when she was struggling to maintain a conversation that was boring her half to death.

When her thoughts turned in that direction she would curse and mutter to herself. Michael had made it plain that she meant nothing to him other than as a duty; she had to stop thinking about him. The problem was that as soon as she tried to think about the marriage proposal from Lord Halkyn, Michael's face appeared before her eyes.

She decided that she needed another woman's perspective and approached Violet one morning after visits had occurred.

Elizabeth sighed, "Violet, I need your advice before I leave for Yorks.h.i.+re; that is to say, Lord Halkyn asked if I would be his wife."

"Oh? Michael never mentioned it." Violet knew her brother had no idea of such a proposal.

Elizabeth blushed a little. "Michael doesn't know. Lord Halkyn said that Michael had put off so many suitors that he wanted to ask me first to ensure Michael was acting fairly. I put him straight on any doubt he had about Michael's principles."

"I'm glad to hear it," Violet smiled at the flash of indignation in Elizabeth's eyes. "I'm sure if my brother had thought you had tender feelings for anyone who asked him for your hand he would have agreed to the match." Violet tried to sound convincing with her words, she was not quite sure if he would be quite so honourable where Elizabeth was concerned.

"I know he would. He has always told me of those who have approached him, but they have all been interested in my money rather than me. Lord Halkyn cannot be accused of that though."

"Do you have feelings for him?" Violet asked tentatively.

"I like him," Elizabeth said hesitantly. "I should have feelings for him; he would be a good match."

"What is preventing you from accepting his proposal? It is an eligible offer." Violent asked gently, hoping to hear a different name on her friend's lips.