An Inconvenient Trilogy Part 8

Michael particularly felt the impact of Elizabeth's attire. He had dreamed about seeing the curves her dresses had hinted at. To be faced with only the thinnest cotton layer, clinging to her curves, rather than skimming them as dresses did, he began to doubt his sanity at travelling to Yorks.h.i.+re. He pondered her shape for a few moments before the realisation sank in of the stir she must have caused for any man that came into contact with her. It was a miracle she had not been compromised or even ravished, before she had arrived in London.

"Do you think it wise to continue wearing breeches?" he asked, preparing for a set down.

"All the staff have seen me and no one responded negatively. Everyone was fine about it back in Lancas.h.i.+re, although I had dressed like this from when I was a young girl," Elizabeth explained, hardly raising her head. "Now about these plans..."

The two men looked at each other over Elizabeth's head and shrugged in defeat. It was obvious that Elizabeth was comfortable in her attire and the only ones who had a problem with it were themselves. They bent over the desk and spent the rest of the morning struggling to look anywhere but at her curves.

Chapter 11.

Michael arrived at the house early, Charles was following on, but Michael had not wanted to delay in seeing Elizabeth. He had been attracted to her in London, but since they had been in the country he found her even more desirable. She had always had life and spark, but in the country she glowed. He had to keep reminding himself that it was not forever, but he was determined to enjoy every second with her before they had to return to London and she married Lord Halkyn.

A few times he had wanted to mention the proposal to her, but he had not wanted to spoil the atmosphere that existed between them. He was fairly sure that she would withdraw from him if he tried to talk about her impending marriage. All he could do was enjoy her company and try not to dwell on the thoughts that soon she would belong to another.

He was told by Miss Fairfield that Elizabeth was in the top field, so he strode off to join her. It took him a little while to reach the top field on foot, but he eventually saw her shape moving felled branches onto a fire.

Elizabeth waved when she saw Michael and stood catching her breath and appreciating the view of the handsome man striding across her land. She would never tire of watching him move. It was as if his movements flowed as one, they looked so fluid and smooth. His clothes fitted him to perfection, emphasising his figure. Since staying in Yorks.h.i.+re he had chosen to wear greens and browns rather than the more formal blacks and golds that he wore in London. The colours suited his complexion and made him appear even more handsome to Elizabeth. Looking so perfect against the background of the countryside could only make her admire him even more. He was a man who was confident and sure of himself without being arrogant.

"Good morning! I hope you have come along to work." Elizabeth greeted him.

"It looks like you have been here for some time." Michael said, noticing the smudges of soot on her face.

"There's plenty to keep me occupied every moment of every day. Thankfully, I can leave the running of the house to Martha which gives me more time. When I was running Papa's estate, I had to do both and it was exhausting." Elizabeth chatted as she continued to move branches. The field was marked for sheep, so had to be cleared of the dead wood that currently crowded it.

Michael shrugged out of his frock coat and placed it carefully on the wall. "What?" He asked with a grin at Elizabeth's raised eyebrow. "This is made by the finest tailor in London, I don't want it to be ruined."

"You poor dandy." Elizabeth teased.

"Dandy! You impertinent miss. Prepare to work your fingers to the bone in your feeble attempts to keep up with me." Michael said, moving into action.

They worked together until the field was clear of wood. The sun was high in the sky by the time they had finished, and both were hot and sweaty. Elizabeth's cheeks were flushed with the exercise and her eyes sparkled with mischief as they leaned on the stone wall viewing their work.

"You work well for a dandy." she said smiling.

"You work well for a bluestocking." Michael retorted.

"Bluestocking?" Elizabeth spluttered.

"The way you study plans and account books, you can be nothing but a confirmed blue stocking," Michael continued, happy for once to have the upper hand.

"I'd call that a good business woman, but I forget, the aristocracy don't like the word work. It brings them out in a sweat," Elizabeth retorted in mock indignation.

"We don't sweat my dear, we perspire," Michael said loftily. "Although I seem to be perspiring quite a lot after this morning." he said, wiping the back of his hand across his forehead.

Elizabeth took her handkerchief out of her pocket and without thinking, stood in front of Michael and wiped his forehead. "My poor Lord, let me tend you. I am sure your friends will overlook one morning of work while you are such an upstanding member of the ton."

Michael had stilled at Elizabeth's action, he did not want to make any movement or sound that would make it stop. If he was a decent man he would move away, but he was selfish enough to want to feel her touch and closed his eyes to savour the moment. Her body leaned into him; he could feel the cotton of her s.h.i.+rt against his chest as she stretched to reach his forehead.

Elizabeth had acted without thinking, but as soon as she had touched Michael and he had stilled, she had realised how forward she was being. Any other lady would pull away and apologise for her lapse, but she carried on, encouraged when he closed his eyes and she felt his body relax a little. This was what she wanted, to be able to touch him, to be able to fuss over him. The problem was that touching him a little was never going to be enough.

She took her time and wiped his face until she could prolong the action no more. That was the moment she should step back and end this, but instead she reached up and started to straighten his collar. Michael opened his eyes in surprise when he felt her arms moving around his neck. He could see she was breathing as heavily as he was.

"You are a dishevelled dandy." Elizabeth said quietly, as she straightened the material.

Michael smiled a little, "I would rather be cla.s.sed as a rake than a dandy."

Elizabeth laughed, "That is something that you would never be considered. You are far too responsible and gentlemanly for that."

Her words were not a challenge, he knew that. She was actually speaking the truth, but they stirred something in him. She was right, he enjoyed himself with women, but he never stepped out of line. Never putting himself in a position that would cla.s.s him as dangerous. He had always lived his life by following good principles. Those same principles had kept him from touching the one woman who had stirred him above everyone else and he was sick of it.

Michael's hands moved around Elizabeth's waist and pulled her towards him. Her eyes widened and her pupils dilated, encouraging him without words. "A dandy wouldn't do this." he said.

Elizabeth's hands stilled around his neck. She was not sure what he was going to do, but she was not going to stop him, whatever it was. She could feel the length of his body as he held her, heat still radiating off him from his active morning. After a moment it did not seem as if he would go any further, so full of mischief, she decided to push him a little.

"No, but it isn't really rake-like behaviour is it?" She asked, arching a brow.

Michael smiled at the challenge, she was full of spirit and he loved her for it. "No, but let's see if you think this is rake-like." He bent his head and brushed his lips against hers. Her sharp intake of breath pleased him and he brushed her lips again gently.

Elizabeth's head was swirling, but she desperately tried to keep a small part of her sane. She was convinced that he would pull back from her at any moment and if he did, she knew she would cry with frustration. She wanted to feel more kisses; she wanted more of him, so she teased him further. "No, still a dandy." she whispered.

Michael chuckled and then paused. He should pull back, but her lips, her flushed face and the way she was looking at him stopped him. She was so close, he could feel her breath against his lips and he could not resist. It had been too many months of restraint. He moved and turned her so she was leaning against the wall. She had gasped at his swift movement, but her arms were still around his neck. He bent forward and instead of being gentle, he showed her with his kiss what he had been feeling since the first moment that she had walked into his life.

Elizabeth leaned into the wall, but pulled Michael closer. She had never felt anything like what she was experiencing, and she did not want it to ever stop. His gentle kisses had stirred her, but his pa.s.sionate ones made her head spin, and her legs weaken. The feeling of his lips pressing down on hers, as if he could not taste enough of her was overwhelming. He forced her lips apart and she welcomed the feel of his tongue as he teased and probed.

His arms held her firmly against him, but they did not remain still. They roamed across her back, pulled at her hair and held her bottom, pus.h.i.+ng her against him. She felt the effect the kisses were having on him as he pushed his arousal against her body and dug her hands deeper into his hair, finally she was feeling what she effect she had on him and it exhilarated her.

Eventually Michael stopped kissing her, but did not pull away. He rested his forehead on hers, both breathing deeply, but never losing eye contact. "We should stop." he said simply, but not convincingly.

"We should, but I hope we don't." Elizabeth whispered.

"Not quite yet." came the husky response and he reached down for her lips once more. This time he took his time exploring her mouth, her lips. He placed kisses along her cheeks and jawbone, enjoying the feel of her sharp intakes of breath. He especially revelled in the times when she seemed to stop breathing when he touched a particularly sensitive spot.

Elizabeth could not move initially, Michael had all the power and he was using it to send the most amazing sensations through her body. After a while she started to move her hands away from his hair. She was tentative at first, but when he pulled her closer to him with an appreciative growl in the back of his throat she became a little bolder. She gloried in the feel of his shoulders and the way he flexed under her touch. She moved down his arms and then across his chest, never pulling away from his lips.

Her hands travelled across his sides and rested on the waistband of his breeches. A small amount of material was untucked and she moved her fingers inside to touch his skin. The sharp intake of breath from Michael made her pause, but then she moved more of her hand underneath the fabric and touched his back. He groaned and pulled his mouth away from hers, resting against her forehead once more.

"Elizabeth..." he said hoa.r.s.ely.

"Do you want me to stop?" Elizabeth asked, while at the same time, untucking his s.h.i.+rt from the other side and sliding her hand underneath.

"G.o.d no, but you don't know what you are doing, this is beyond a simple kiss." Michael fought to remain in control while her hands continued to move across his back. Every inch of skin that they touched seemed to tingle as all the nerve endings responded to her fingers. He had never felt so aware of anything in his entire life before.

"I think we pa.s.sed the point of a simple kiss some time ago didn't we?" Elizabeth whispered, feeling bolder than she ever had before, purely because of Michael's reaction. She had never seen chocolate on fire, but looking into his eyes she could imagine what it looked like. Sparks seemed to be shooting from the core of him.

"Good G.o.d Elizabeth!" Michael groaned before pulling her back towards him and kissing her deeply. Elizabeth's exploration encouraged him to do some exploring of his own. He untucked her s.h.i.+rt and let his hands wander across her back. She had short stays on underneath, but he still could reach enough skin to encourage further exploration.

His hands moved around to her stomach and travelled along the bottom of the stays. Elizabeth had moaned and grasped his back with her hands and he continued his journey. He moved across the stays and up until he could feel the top of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Elizabeth gasped, but he continued to tease her by touching and feeling every inch of her.

Elizabeth was on fire, literally. She had never felt anything like it, and never wanted it to stop. She had never wanted to be ruined in the middle of a field before, but she would have done anything for it to happen at that moment with Michael.

Eventually Michael stopped and moved his arms to her back. He left her mouth bereft and pulled her to him, wrapping her into his body. "Elizabeth we have to stop, otherwise there is no turning back."

Elizabeth tried to catch her breath and her thoughts before answering. "I think I pa.s.sed the point of no return some time ago." she finally said, not sure what response her words would have on him.

He laughed quietly, "I suppose that goes for us both. You are a wicked girl, leading me astray."

Elizabeth moved her head from his shoulder in indignation. "Me?" She paused when she saw Michael's face, he was teasing her. She reached up and touched his cheek with the palm of her hand. "I like the rake better than the dandy."

"And I prefer the harlot rather than the pretend man," Michael said tugging her s.h.i.+rt.

"I could only ever be a harlot with you." came the soft response.

Michael stilled, he had just had the most wonderful experience of his life, but her words had reminded him that she was considering a marriage proposal. He was her guardian and had enough family history to send her running from him. If anyone found out about this episode, no one would believe that she was not ruined. He pulled away from her and leaned on the wall rubbing his hands through his hair.

"What is it?" Elizabeth asked with dread, she had seen the struggle pa.s.s over his face and she feared the words he would utter. It suddenly felt cold in the field.

"I've acted appallingly," Michael responded quietly. "I swore that I would not do anything to make any scandal for you and here I am virtually ruining you in the open."

"We are miles from anyone," Elizabeth rea.s.sured him, but she knew she had lost him.

"We could have been seen by any member of staff. I can't believe how foolish I've been. I'm sorry Elizabeth, it won't happen again." Michael did not look at her, he would weaken if he did, and continue to act selfishly. He cursed his weakness.

"I don't understand," Elizabeth said confused. "You must like me, why are you now telling me it's wrong?"

"I want you to be a fully accepted member of society. I want people to like you. I want you to have a match that will not cause you to suffer any gossip or scandal," Michael said roughly. I have madness in my family and I do not want you to see me turn into a sh.e.l.l of the man I am, his mind screamed, but he did not utter the words.

"I'm not sure I completely understand," Elizabeth said slowly. She paused before continuing, "You speak as if you feel I can not fit into society. What are you really trying to say Michael?"

"I do not think that, but with what has happened in the past and the way you disregard the rules, people are more inclined to be critical. If they see anything occurring between the two of us, you will be even more of a subject of ridicule," Michael said, not really being able to say that it was because he wanted to protect her, that he wanted her life to be perfect.

Elizabeth stood away from the wall, her cheeks now flushed with anger rather than exertion. "You think I'm an object of ridicule?" She asked quietly.

"No! I didn't mean that to sound the way it did. You are mistaking the meaning of my words," Michael said defensively.

"You are wrong; I completely take your meaning. Unless I am the perfect member of society, you cannot deal with me. You want me to be the quiet, simpering Miss that you have often said you despise. No, don't try and lie at this point," Elizabeth raised her hand to stop Michael interrupting. "I am sorry I did not realise the truth earlier. I've said consistently that Society did not interest me, but you insisted I stay. So, I made mistakes that, yes, attracted ridicule, but I would argue it said more about Society than it did about me. The next thing you wanted was for me to get a husband, again so I would become respectable. I never wanted to marry, I wanted to be left alone on my estate, but you want me to be respectable even if that means I am not happy. Why can't you accept me for who I am Michael? Why do I repulse you by being me?"

"You are being ridiculous," Michael snapped. "You do not repulse me. Have you forgotten what just happened?"

"No, I don't think I will ever forget," Elizabeth said, breathing deeply, she could not let the thoughts of his touch cloud her mind. "It doesn't alter the fact that you don't want me do you? You may want me physically, but you don't want me," she said pointing to her chest. "I thought you were the best of everyone I knew; when in reality you are shallower than the lot of them."

"Don't be foolish," Michael snapped. "I want what's best for you."

"No, you want what you think is best for me," Elizabeth said quietly. "It's a pity you haven't listened to anything I've ever told you."

She turned away from him and walked across the field. She wanted to get away as fast as she could because she could not hold back the tears of frustration and anger any longer. She did not understand his need for her to be accepted, it was as if he could not bear the person she was. The sobs grew louder the further away she got. He was not happy with her, yet she could still feel the bruises on her lips where he had kissed her, and the feeling on her skin where his hands had been. She did not know how she could ever face him again.

Chapter 12.

Michael approached the house with determination. He had said and done everything wrong yesterday. When he had finally returned to the house, Elizabeth had made an excuse that prevented them having their evening meal together as they had done since their arrival. He could not criticise her for it, he had not felt very sociable either. After a night's disturbed sleep he had resolved that he had to sort things out between them.

Smithson led Michael to the study where Elizabeth was poring through her account books. She raised her head slightly when Michael walked in and flushed a little, but greeted him with a smile and a nod. "Michael." she said quietly.

"Elizabeth, we need to clear things between us." Michael said, approaching the desk.

"I think you made everything perfectly clear yesterday. I see no point in going over it again." Elizabeth said quietly, but firmly. She met his gaze, but there was none of the usual warmth that normally greeted him.

Michael felt physical pain at the loss of the sparkle in her eyes; he had hurt her and had to rectify it somehow. "I didn't say anything right yesterday. Please hear me now."

Elizabeth sat back and nodded her reluctant agreement. Michael sat in the chair across the desk from her and took a moment to gather his thoughts.

"You were right, the problem is with me and not you," he began. "It's no excuse, but I have always felt under pressure to be perfect. In some respects we are very similar," Michael smiled at Elizabeth's sceptical look. "We both do not easily fit into what is considered normal."

"That isn't the impression you give now," Elizabeth said.

"I agree and I can't really explain why. Our deepest secrets and fears are the hardest to get rid of aren't they? I have used the excuse about being your guardian to keep you at a distance. There are far more valid reasons why I should have never encouraged anything other than was purely formal between the two of us."

"Go on," Elizabeth encouraged, finally allowing herself to take his words seriously, rather than a poor attempt at an excuse that she had thought was forthcoming at the start.

"I cannot tell you the whole story, it would affect more than just me," he tried to explain. "I think that some of the older members of society know my secret and I'm sure are waiting to see history repeating itself. I've had too many comments aimed at me, to be in any real doubt. I have been determined that anyone in my care would not suffer because of their connection to me."

"I don't understand," Elizabeth said. "Are you legitimate?"

"Yes, more's the pity," he said bitterly. "Believe me Elizabeth, I want what is best for you, but heed what I am saying. I would hate to see you hurt and you would be, by having anything more than the present a.s.sociation you have with me. I promise that I can guarantee it happening."

"Why did you persuade me to stay when we met, if now you want me to be always at a distance from you?" Elizabeth asked. "It doesn't make sense."

"I know." Michael acknowledged. "The way you bounded in that day was completely different from dealing with anyone I had met before. Then you told me a little about yourself and it struck a chord with me. Perhaps it was the disappointment your father had felt at you not being a boy, or the way Miranda had treated you, I don't know. I just wanted you to have a good experience, as every young girl should."

"So you felt sorry for me!" Elizabeth responded angrily.

"No! I didn't and I never have, but I responded to you, which is something totally different. I can't explain it more than that, but it wasn't pity." Michael said quickly.

"And yet by staying I was an object of ridicule." Elizabeth said matter of fact.

"Yes, didn't I misjudge it?" Michael laughed a bitter laugh. "The person I would want to hurt the least in the world, and instead she got hurt the most. If I could have seen what happened, I never would have persuaded you to stay."

"I survived." Elizabeth said with a shrug. "Michael, unless I am reading too much into your words, I am under the impression that you do have feelings for me." She was tired of not knowing where she stood; it was time to take action.