Fontainbleau Part 17

_Colonel E._ Sir, I have receive a lettre, from my friend de Duke----

_Sir J. B._ His friend the Duke--what a grand tailor it is!

[_Aside._

_Colonel E._ I ave great reason to tink I am dear to him, and he recommend you to me in de highest terms.

_Sir J. B._ Sir, if you are dear to your friends, no doubt but your terms will be high to me.

_Colonel E._ Sir!

_Sir J. B._ However, since my wife will have it so--out with your shears.

_Colonel E._ Sir!

_Sir J. B._ Let's see your book of patterns.

_Colonel. E._ Pattern!

_Sir J. B._ Yes, to chuse my colour.

_Colonel E._ I carry de colour! vat, you take me for an ensign?--but I excuse, as de custom of your country gives a privilege--

_Sir J. B._ I can't answer for my country, but you shall have my custom--Now, pray, friend, how many men may you have?

_Colonel E._ About a tousand.

_Sir J. B._ [_Aside._] A thousand journeymen! must have great business.

_Colonel E._ About a tousand in my regiment.

_Sir J. B._ Oh, you work for a regiment?

_Colonel E._ Vork! I no understand vat he mean--Sir, de ladies----

_Sir J. B._ You understand the work for the ladies?

_Colonel E._ Monsieur, in compliance vid the lettre of his grace, I shall show every civilite, and, if you please, vill ave de honour of introduce my Lady de Bull, and mademoiselle, her daughter, to de prince.

_Sir. J. B._ You! My Lady Bull introduced by a tailor!

_Colonel E._ Tailor! Aha! Sir, if you vere not an Englishman, your life--your life, sir, should answer for dis affront--but from my respect to your country, I pardon you.

_Sir J. B._ Affront! What! are you above your business, you proud monkey, you?

_Colonel E._ You are under some gross error, or you are a person void of manners--if de former, you are a fool by nature; if de latter, a clown by habit--and as both is beneath my resentment, I sall look to my n.o.ble friend for an explanation of dis affront offered to Colonel Epaulette.

[_Exit._

_Sir J. B._ Colonel Epaulette! Oh, the devil! what a blunder I have made!--[_Calls out._] My lady--my Lady Bull!

_Enter LADY BULL._

_Lady B._ What's the matter--what's the matter now with you, Sir John?

_Sir J. B._ The mischief to play--here has been Colonel Epaulette, and I unfortunately mistook him for the French tailor that I expected, to take orders for my new clothes.

_Lady B._ Sir John, why will you ever attempt to speak to persons of distinction?--Take a Colonel of the Gendesarmes for a tailor--how absurd!--[_Calls._] Who waits?--Sir John, pray stay and explain this affair.

_Sir J. B._ Me!--damme, I wouldn't face him again for the pay of his whole regiment.

[_Exit._

_Lady B._ [_Pa.s.sionately._] Who waits, I say?

_Enter ROBIN._

Show that gentleman up stairs.

_Robin._ Who, madam?

_Lady B._ The tailor, as your master calls him.

_Robin._ The tailor--oh, here he comes, madam.

[_Exit._

_Lady B._ Ay, here is the colonel, endeed--no regimentals--yes, I heard of his dressing entirely in the English manner.

_Enter LEPOCHE._

[_Courtesies very respectfully._] Sir, I almost blush to see you, and scarce know how to apologize for Sir John's mistake.

_Lep._ Madam, I vait upon Sir John, to----

_Lady B._ Really, sir, he's ashamed to appear in your presence, after----but he has contracted such unfas.h.i.+onable habits, that he----

_Lep._ Madam, I vill equip him vid de fas.h.i.+onable habit, dat he need not shame to appear in de royal presence.

_Lady B._ Sir, you have had a loss to-day?

_Lep._ Oui, I lose my lodger.

_Lady B._ By this day's running?

_Lep._ Oui, they did run away.