The Life of a Celebrated Buccaneer Part 15

Random Jack, being thus exhorted and encouraged to make a clean breast of it, disclosed the whole of the diabolical conspiracy of the cook's caboose, and how it was that he had so frightened Billy Cheeks, the butcher. This part of the proceedings caused no little merriment. Bob Mainstay, having listened to the story from beginning to end, exclaimed, as he slapped his leg: "Mates, I see land ahead. It strikes me we have old Bill on the hip at last. Madam!" he said, turning to the Beggar Woman, who had remained a silent listener to the mids.h.i.+pman's story.

"Madam, with your help I think we shall be able to dish old Dogvane.

What with the Church Hulk in danger and old Squire Broadacre on the war path, and general discontent all round, the devil must be in it if we cannot clear the s.h.i.+p of its present vermin." The Beggar Woman promised to do her best, for her sympathies were for the most part with the Port Watch; perhaps, because on the whole, they treated her best. She was given an order to get a spic and span new outfit of silks and satins, and she received invitations to many feasts, but frequent adversity made her bear this turn of fortune with becoming modesty.

The Port Watch were now in high spirits and began talking of what they would do when they took charge of the s.h.i.+p. The little middy was highly complimented; and the captain promised to reward his courage and virtue with a good billet. He was pretty well sure now of promotion.

"Who laughs now?" cried Random Jack. "I owe one to Master Dogvane and to Billy Cheeks. The cook, he is a Jack-pudding, and I will baste him well with his own dripping." These were bold words; but the cook did not hear them.

"Now, my lads!" exclaimed the captain, "we must work with a will. Would that our master had returned; but we must make things ready for him when he does. Away some of you on board the old Church Hulk. Wake her crew up, and let your cry be Church in danger. Others of you hasten to the Squire and tell him there are robbers about."

"A toast before we part," cried Random Jack.

"Here is general d.a.m.nation to old Bill Dogvane, and all his crew!" All laughed, and the toast was drunk with enthusiasm, and they were all just about to separate when some one fired a sh.e.l.l amidst them by saying, "How about the Ojabberaways?"

"To make any compact with them," said the captain, "would be an unholy thing."

"Any port in a storm," cried Random Jack, who was now, what with the grog and the flattery he had received, in high feather. "They have their price; are they worth it? If we don't buy them old Dogvane will. There's the rub."

Here the noise outside of two women wrangling claimed their attention, and one and all ran out to see what was the matter. They found Liberty and the Beggar Woman in angry altercation about a lout of a boy. Indeed, boy he could scarcely be called, for he was approaching nearer to manhood. It was Demos. "Indeed, madam!" cried Liberty with a sneer, "it does not appear from your dress that you are held in very great estimation amongst my master's people." Patriotism had not yet received her new clothing. Then Liberty continued in the same tone: "You are somewhat old-fas.h.i.+oned methinks! What would you have me do with my boy?

Would you have me clap a gag in his mouth, or muzzle him as if he were a dog in the dog-days?"

"You need not pamper and pet him," exclaimed the Beggar Woman, "until he becomes a perfect nuisance to every one. Why don't you teach him to work for an honest living?"

"Because the boy is not strong; besides, he does not like work, do you, dear?"

"Why should I work," cried Demos, "when others play? Others live and fatten in idleness, why not I?"

"Bread that is b.u.t.tered too thickly is not wholesome food," was the Beggar Woman's reply.

"The boy is a clever boy," exclaimed Madam Liberty. "He is wonderfully good at speaking; and he is good at figures; and he shall not be kept back; shall you, dear?"

"Mind he does not turn and bite the hand that has fed and petted him,"

replied the Beggar Woman, and the two parted.

The old c.o.xswain, as he watched the retreating steps of Liberty and her boy, said: "There you go with that spoilt brat of yours. A wilful woman never yet wanted for woe, and to spoil a child is to put a rod in pickle for your own back."

A quaint sound was now heard, like the wailing of a pig in pain. Some thought it must be the cook playing a tune in the early morning upon his barrel organ; but the sound did not come from the direction of the old s.h.i.+p. It turned out to be the national music of the Ojabberaways, and presently a voice by no means untuneful, sang, "Come back to Erin, Mavourneen, Mavourneen."

The Ojabberaways were serenading both Liberty and Patriotism, while in the back ground was the cheap-Jack Jonathan, who provided the dollars for the serenade, also for other entertainments which the Ojabberaways got up to please themselves and annoy the old Buccaneer.

Opinions varied very much as to whether the Port Watch did, or did not, make a treaty with these people. Such a thing could scarcely be conceivable; but for party purposes either watch, it was said, would sell themselves to the devil. Some went so far as to say that Random Jack had had something to do with it; but then, when anyone comes out of obscurity, there is scarcely a thing that he is not supposed to be capable of doing; and a place is found for his finger in every pie.

Happy is the man who never leaves the smooth, broad, and well-beaten path of mediocrity! He will escape many evils, and even slander will pa.s.s him by for the most part with contempt; for her sport is with bigger game. "This only grant me, that my means may lie too low for envy, for contempt too high." So sang a poet long years ago.

It was generally believed that old Bill Dogvane had a secret understanding with these Ojabberaways. There can be no doubt that he smiled upon the boy Demos, who was showing signs of giving trouble. He was becoming intoxicated with the very worst of all things, namely, his own self-conceit, and the old hands shook their wise heads, and said that if the Buccaneer was not very careful this boy would break out and disturb the peace. This child of Madam Liberty was a difficulty; and how to treat him became a matter of the gravest consideration. Be kind to him and he would mistake it for weakness, and take advantage of it at once. Kick him, beat him, or try to drive him, and he became as stubborn as an a.s.s. All agreed that he required a very strong hand, and yet not too rough a one. The conspirators of the cook's caboose were one and all on the boy's side; and the cook himself acted the part of an indulgent foster father to him. b.u.t.tering the boy's bread as thick as he possibly could, and giving him constantly cakes and other sweetmeats; some said this was done out of pure contrariness, because Pepper could not be happy if he were as others; but while the cook told the boy that he was being kept out of his just dues by an idle lot of rich drones, and hinting to him that it would be no great crime to put his hand into the pockets of these people, he said not a word about sharing his own worldly goods with the boy; and the cook had laid up for himself riches upon earth, but he was a wise man, and took good care that no thief should break into his house and steal.

CHAPTER x.x.x.

The Port Watch mingled about amongst the people and told them of all the wonderful things that had happened, and of the many more wonderful things that would be sure to happen if they did not at once combine together and get their master, the old Sea King, to change the watches.

Of course the doings of the Port Watch could not be concealed from the Starboard Watch, who went about contradicting, and swearing there was not a word of truth in the whole thing.

The cook took under his especial care the Buccaneer's Upper Chamber, and it is tolerably certain that happiness would not come to Pepper on his death-bed, unless that lumber room with all its antiquated furniture was cleared out of the old s.h.i.+p, and replaced by some a.s.semblage of men as clever as what the cook was himself; but to get the modest number of only twelve such men, in a whole kingdom, would be almost impossible, and this is providential.

The butcher was not idle. He did not speak much; but when he did, it was to the purpose, and no one could say more cutting things than could Billy Cheeks. He also thought a good deal; he was driven to this extremity because most people, and most things, were beneath his notice.

The carpenter took under his care the family of Hodge; the members of which were generally accredited with a full share of stupidity and ignorance; but it is wonderful how the aspect of things changes when you want to get anything out of people. Then we find virtues that were never seen before, and that the individuals themselves never even dreamt of.

Then in the distance was the large family of Sikes. No one as yet had found much virtue in them; but they were ready for anything that might turn up, outside of it.

"Honest Hodge," cried the carpenter from the top of a barrel, "for generations you have been oppressed."

"'Ave I now?" exclaimed Hodge, scratching his honest head. "I thought summut was wrong."

The boy Demos who had been playing pitch and toss with the cook, left the game to attend to what looked to him more like business.

"For generations," cried the carpenter, "you have been ignored and defrauded by one whose rights are arbitrary, and almost absolute, for they extend from the heavens above, to the earth beneath, and to the waters under the earth." Demos became a most attentive listener and he liked the tack the carpenter was on.

Chips continued, "The minerals are his. The timber is his, and so are the birds of the air, and the fish that swim in the streams, and I suppose that the greater part of all that the industry and toil of man has added to the original value of that property, is now practically subject to the land owner's sole consideration and good. Now I want to see you, honest Hodge, replaced upon the old squire's land, at a fair compensation, of course."

Upon hearing this Demos winked at Hodge, but the latter being very slow of intellect, and moreover honest, did not take the wink in.

"But," said Hodge, "if the squire won't part, maister; what be we to do then?"

"If the squire will not do his duty," replied the carpenter, "he must be made to."

"And what be we to get out of it?" Hodge asked.

"The least you can expect, will be three acres and a cow," was the carpenter's reply; or the reply of a friend of his.

Here one of the Sike's family pushed his way to the front, and addressing himself to the carpenter, said, "Master, what are we to get out of this crib you're agoing to crack?"

The question being an extremely awkward one to answer, the carpenter pretended not to hear it. This is always a safe way out of such a difficulty if the questioner be not persevering.

The Port Watch struck a more popular, and at the same time, a more honest chord. "Look!" they cried, "at our market places! They are full of the cheap produce of our neighbours, who do a thriving business while our own people are starving. They bring their goods here without let or hindrance; but they shut their own doors against us, or make us pay toll. Look at the river there! that used to be crowded with our own craft. Now you see the flag of every nation floating upon its bosom, while our own s.h.i.+ps are rotting for the want of something to do. Foreign compet.i.tion is ousting you from your markets as the marten ousts the squirrel from her nest. If you want a coat, or a pair of trousers made, in comes your foreign tailor who will sew and st.i.tch for sixteen hours a day for what is barely sufficient to keep body and soul together. If you, my lads, come down, he will come down lower."

At this speech loud cries of indignation rose up from a mult.i.tude of listeners, and the spokesman of a crowd of sailors, jumping up on a tar barrel, exclaimed, "Damme, my mates! (It is a bad habit, but sailors will swear.) The gentlemen of the Port Watch says true. We are being weathered by these lubberly furriners, who visit our sh.o.r.es in shoals like mackerel; and thus take all the wind out of our sails. Damme, mates! they are that mean that a well worn quid won't escape them, can we work against such varmint as these?"

"No!" came from a thousand hoa.r.s.e throats.

"Is it right, my hearties," continued the speaker, "that the old man should treat us like this?"

"It ain't right," came from all sides.

"Where would our master be now without us?" cried the sailor, "where will he be if he allows these furrin chaps to put us down below hatches?

Who then will he have to trim and shorten his sails when the stormy winds do blow? Will these fellows club-haul him off a lee-sh.o.r.e in the teeth of a gale of difficulties; or fight for him his battles? Not they, I'll swear."

The old sailor's yarn met with very great approval, and as is the custom with all sailors they freely d.a.m.ned their own eyes, and hitched up their trousers and swore that things were not as they ought to be; but the cheap-Jacks still went about amongst them and sold their goods, and people bought. Up too spoke many others, and there was scarcely a man to be found, or woman either, that was contented.