The Magistrate Part 30

[_Hysterically._] Horace!

VALE.

I beg your pardon.

CHARLOTTE.

It's Horace, Captain Vale.

VALE.

[_Coming from behind the curtain, looking terribly wet._]

Charlotte--Miss Verrinder.

CHARLOTTE.

What are you doing here? What a fright you look.

VALE.

What am I doing here, Miss Verrinder? Really, Lukyn, your conduct calls for some little explanation.

LUKYN.

My conduct, sir?

VALE.

You make some paltry excuse to turn me out in the rain while you entertain a lady who you know has very recently broken my heart.

LUKYN.

I didn't know anything of the kind.

VALE.

I told you, Colonel Lukyn--this isn't the conduct of an officer and a gentleman.

LUKYN.

Whose isn't, yours or mine?

VALE.

Mine. I mean yours.

LUKYN.

You are in the presence of ladies, sir; take off my hat.

VALE.

I beg your pardon. I didn't know I had it on.

[_He throws the hat away, and the two men exchange angry words._

CHARLOTTE.

He's a very good-looking fellow; you don't see a man at his best when he's wet through.

AGATHA POSKET.

[_To LUKYN._] Colonel Lukyn, do you ever intend to send for a cab?

LUKYN.

Certainly, madam.

VALE.

One moment. I have some personal explanation to exchange with Miss Verrinder.

CHARLOTTE.

[_To AGATHA POSKET._] The slippers. [_To VALE._] I am quite ready, Captain Vale.

VALE.

Thank you. Colonel Lukyn, will you oblige me by stepping out on to that balcony?

LUKYN.

Certainly not, sir.

VALE.

You're afraid of the wet, Colonel Lukyn; you are no soldier.

LUKYN.

You know better, sir. As a matter of fact, that balcony can't bear a man like me.

VALE.

Which shows that inanimate objects have a great deal of common-sense, sir.

LUKYN.